Friday, June 08, 2007
The Wisdom of Wooderson
"That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age."I sit upon my tiny thrown in my tiny kingdom illuminated by nothing but a glowing laptop and a tiny desktop lap on the other side of the room. My mind is a bit on the surly side at the moment but that's probably because I'm half in a coma and my random music selector chose to pump Rage Against the Machine through my headphones this morning. But my mood is getting better a little at a time. Each trip outside of my dark little nation brings me in contact with some outsiders.
Dazed and Confused
This time of year brings happy times. With the warm weather, the heavy sweater puppies are put away in favor of the classic dress of the young in the summer. Even better than that, it also bring The March of the Interns.
Each summer between now and the end of June, my company brings in a large collection of young'ns looking to get their foot in the corporate door. A large majority are European with a smaller selection from the other EU nations. There is also the group of Penn State chippies who are looking to pad their parent-supplied beer funds. They get paraded around as they go through orientation and the waiting games begin.
Will it be "Svetlana" the hungry for attention Ukrainian with a knack for low rise jeans and a taste for top shelf vodka or "Aimee" (one i, two eee's) looking to waste as much time before happy hour where she'll drive daddy's Benz to the bar at 4 each day? Will it be a shock when we get one of the small minority of guys who show up for this gig but weren't smart enough to get assigned to one of the cougars?
I already figure I know who we're getting. I expect it to be "Helga", born of two 'roided up East German female Olympic swimmers, insists on working 12 hours away (16 on Friday), and smells of bad cheese and brauts. But I'm used to dealing with bad beats.
~
See this, even the pros keep getting silly with top pair top kicker. From PokerNews coverage of the $1500 6-handed event at the WORLD SERIES OF POKER.
J.C. Tran lost a 100k pot just prior to the break.And oh yeah, it should also be noted that our boy Hoy went deep in the event and cashed in 106. I'm assuming that's 106th because that's the closest to his name that I can expect my poker covering friends to actually get. Why should they get hot and bothered about a blogger going deep? There are more important things to be noted. Told you I was a surly fuck today.
Mario Delis raised to 4,500 UTG and was called by the button, the small blind, and Tran on the big blind. The flop came 9c 4c 5h. The SB checked and Tran led out for 10,000. Delis called and they were heads-up for the turn, the 6c. Tran bet 19,000, Delis moved in for 23,700 more, and Tran made the call. Delis showed Kc Kd and Tran had As 9d. The river card was the Tc, and Delis doubled through to just over 100k.
~
My first laugh of the day.
~
For christsake, if you aren't in Vegas this weekend with the bloggers, do me a favor and pick up a big ol' bottle of booze and get wasted this weekend. Just for me this one time.
And go play in Kat's Donkeylicious rebuy tourney tonight. I'm do for one of these if I can drag myself away from the bar long enough.
Cheers
Tournament: WPBT Event #7 (non-Vegas)
When: Saturday, June 9th 16:00 ET
Game: NLHE
Buyin: $24+2
Password: Bloggers only so you should know if. If not, drop a message.
Thursday, June 07, 2007
The Waffle-troll
I only regret that I will miss one thing about not being in Vegas this weekend. I'll miss many things actually, but a top one is that I won't be able to get Waffles, my good luck troll and serial ranter, completely blitzed on a shot and a half of southern. Easiest to drunk ever ladies, have at it. Waffles pictured at the right for identification purposes. I think I need to have a Waffles contest. Here you have it.Whoever is the first person to get Waffles on the phone with me Friday, only after he's completely obliterated, I will buy them into the next Mookie when they get back. That's an $11 value right there ladies and gents. Get at it.
I'm actually not as let down about missing this one as I thought I would be. Normally I'd be on a plane right now sleeping off the hangover and mentally planning the next 24 hours of binging. I'd set the goal to be coherent for the MGM mix game and booze fest only just let loose my liver upon the world. The tourney at The Orleans would be a mess because I'd be messed up and that carpeting in there makes me want to blow chunks when stone cold sober. Would not be pretty.
My brand new cell phone works and is all charged up. I fully expect and silly number of dial-a-shots throughout the weekend. The house is stocked and the bars are prepared. Hit me.
I hope everyone has a blast. Drink well and often.
~
Here's some pics from last years Bash at the Boathouse of your 2007 WSoP Event #4 runner up. Doing a little song with Brandon and Carter (I swear there is a better pic but I can't find it), playing with Gracie's kitty, and just having a good time. Best yet, here he is getting schooled by a drunken hippy in his own personal private rebuy tourney (Falstaff and Dr.Pauly on the left).
~
Looking through the old Bash pics and found a hidden little gem for the girlies. I'd be negligent to my female readers if I didn't post this picture of our resident metro-sexual who also happens to be in some sort of contest. The sports blog Ladies... is having a contest to find the hottest sports blogger. Somehow they overlooked the uber-sexy BoyGenius and went right to Joseph Speaker. BG is a boutique item after all, check the specialty aisle.
So head on over and vote for Speakerlicious. Other than a distasteful love of all things scouser, I suppose he's worth your vote. He's about 3/4 of the way down the list.
~
I do not wish to speak upon my showing in the Mookie last night. I was actually falling asleep between hands which suck because I had a fine group of bloggers at my opening table. I slept right through giving my stack away and called it a night early. The leaderboard has been updated.
No more BBT events on the schedule until next Monday's MATH but there is a WPBT event scheduled for this week while the rest of the bloggers are running around sin city. Not sure if I'll be awake/sober/sane enough to make this one but I shall try.
Make it out on Saturday afternoon if you can. I shall spend the rest of my day hottie hunting for tomorrow.
Tournament: WPBT Event #7 (non-Vegas)
When: Saturday, June 9th 16:00 ET
Game: NLHE
Buyin: $24+2
Password: Bloggers only so you should know it. If not, drop a message.
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
When I finally get around to writing that best selling book on how to pick up hot girls, I now have another entry for the chapter on sure fire pickup lines. Can't even blame this one on the booze or lack of sleep. While I did have some in my system, it wasn't nearly enough to explain how I managed to drop this stinker on a young newby waitress last night. I was simply trying to mention another new waitress whose name I did not know. So I described her.
"She looks kind of like you, except less thick."
Bingo! Time to book the wedding chapel.
~
Congrats to Pokerati's own superstar, Tom Schneider., for picking up a bracelet in Event #5. Also coming very close for his first bracelet was Bash at the Boathouse songster Gavin Smith. Can't imagine the party last night if he took it down. (I wish the hell I could find the picture of him and Brandon signing at the Bash. Sick)
~
I played in the last ever WWdN tournament last night and began the evening with our host sitting directly to my left. I was nearly impossible to get a chat line in between the railbirds because everyone EVERYONE stopped by to thank him, bullshit, or to call him a douche. I think President George stopped by to flip him off.
Unfortunately I didn't stick around to long when my booze soaked brain and shortish stack decided to fall in love my AQ's top pair top kicker. Never imagined getting called down with T9 but I guess it happens. I stuck around for awhile to watch Hoy make a big run but he didn't make it. Thanks to Wil for the good times.
Last BBT event of the week and a large chunk of people are heading off to fish rich territory and endless greyhounds.
See you tonight.
Tournament: The Mookie
When: Wednesday. 10pm ET
Buyin: $10+1
Password: vegas1
|
"She looks kind of like you, except less thick."
Bingo! Time to book the wedding chapel.
~
Congrats to Pokerati's own superstar, Tom Schneider., for picking up a bracelet in Event #5. Also coming very close for his first bracelet was Bash at the Boathouse songster Gavin Smith. Can't imagine the party last night if he took it down. (I wish the hell I could find the picture of him and Brandon signing at the Bash. Sick)
~
I played in the last ever WWdN tournament last night and began the evening with our host sitting directly to my left. I was nearly impossible to get a chat line in between the railbirds because everyone EVERYONE stopped by to thank him, bullshit, or to call him a douche. I think President George stopped by to flip him off.
Unfortunately I didn't stick around to long when my booze soaked brain and shortish stack decided to fall in love my AQ's top pair top kicker. Never imagined getting called down with T9 but I guess it happens. I stuck around for awhile to watch Hoy make a big run but he didn't make it. Thanks to Wil for the good times.
Last BBT event of the week and a large chunk of people are heading off to fish rich territory and endless greyhounds.
See you tonight.
Tournament: The Mookie
When: Wednesday. 10pm ET
Buyin: $10+1
Password: vegas1
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Brain and Card Dead
I feel like I'm forgetting something today. I've checked the ol' zipper a couple dozen times and everything seems to be in it's proper place. Cell phone, laptop, work necessities, check. I'm just zoning out today and that is generally reserved for those mornings after a mid to full bender night. Last night I did nothing more draining then ordering Chinese takeout and sitting for the MATH tourney. I stayed up late to watch most of the final table (not that I was at the final table) but that only kept me up until a little after 1am.
The hallways are quiet with most of the area down in Orlando watching Doc Brown shill for Microsoft. I was supposed to be down there groping Madame Sheverb unapologetically. Instead I am up here sweating and cursing and acting flaky. Did I remember to take the cat out of the oven? Who knows what's going on in my head, certainly not me.
I'll boring-walk my way through the day avoiding the builds I need done and scanning the blog heavens for World Series updates and scantily clad women. If I can get them both in the same post, more the better. Sites I've been perusing for WSoP information...
Dr.Pauly at Tao of Poker - like ya didn't know already
PokerNews
PokerWorks crew
Otis at Poker Stars Blog - the cheese stands alone?
~
DickBro has been banned from Harrah's properties including the World Series. Rumors circulating that it's either because he crushed their -EV high stakes video poker or he asked one of the Dancer/Slot girls at the Rio whether she was a stripper.
In reality, a ridiculous move by Harrah's after a nice string of already stupid shit.
~
I've been playing in Dave Stewart's Battle of Bloggers fantasy sportsbook at NBX.com since the beginning of the MLB season. It's strictly minor leagues for MiamiDon but it's cool to get a feel for how the gambling lines run and how to find your spots. The last two weeks I managed to finish second but never coming through at the end.
Here are two secrets that I've found out so far. Don't pass them around. 1. ALWAYS bet against Vincent Padilla. 2. ALWAYS fade my picks on a Monday. For some frigged up reason, I'm running around 1 for 30 in my Monday picks including the douchbag Oakland A's coughing up a 2 run lead in the ninth last night.
If anyone is interested in getting in some strictly for bragging right betting fun, drop me a line. Right now I've seen MiamiDon (who won at least one week), Waffles (third last week), Garth, and CJ throwing around some fake coinage.
~
Last night I somehow managed to finish 14th in the MATH with an absolute brutal run of cards. If I caught anything in late position worth getting a little funky with, it always got popped or re-popped before I had the chance. In early position I was getting dogshit baby face cards and mini mini pairs. If I managed to flop something in the limped blinds, I never got any action. My one lonely AA came UTG but my tiny 3x raise only induced insta-folds from the table.
I ducked some big hands from Hoy on my right, convinced bayne on my left to give me some chips late, but never really had anything going other than trying to find a hand to double up and get back in the game. Just never happened.
Congrats to VinNay for the win and Hoy for another big showing in 2nd. Hoy will have a writeup later, if it's not already up.
The BBT leaderboard has been updated and we shuffled some things around in the top 5 again. BuddyDank and NewinNov move up into 3rd and 4th. NewinNov also becomes the third player to cross the $1,000 money mark. The top 10 is tight and will only tighten up as we get closer to the end. There are only 11 more tournaments to move up into the top 50 points or the 20 events necessary for the end of challenge freeroll.
Next up is the Mookie on Wednesday. Hope to see a huge field out for that one.
Tournament: The Mookie
When: Wednesday. 10pm ET
Buyin: $10+1
Password: vegas1
|
The hallways are quiet with most of the area down in Orlando watching Doc Brown shill for Microsoft. I was supposed to be down there groping Madame Sheverb unapologetically. Instead I am up here sweating and cursing and acting flaky. Did I remember to take the cat out of the oven? Who knows what's going on in my head, certainly not me.
I'll boring-walk my way through the day avoiding the builds I need done and scanning the blog heavens for World Series updates and scantily clad women. If I can get them both in the same post, more the better. Sites I've been perusing for WSoP information...
Dr.Pauly at Tao of Poker - like ya didn't know already
PokerNews
PokerWorks crew
Otis at Poker Stars Blog - the cheese stands alone?
~
DickBro has been banned from Harrah's properties including the World Series. Rumors circulating that it's either because he crushed their -EV high stakes video poker or he asked one of the Dancer/Slot girls at the Rio whether she was a stripper.
In reality, a ridiculous move by Harrah's after a nice string of already stupid shit.
~
I've been playing in Dave Stewart's Battle of Bloggers fantasy sportsbook at NBX.com since the beginning of the MLB season. It's strictly minor leagues for MiamiDon but it's cool to get a feel for how the gambling lines run and how to find your spots. The last two weeks I managed to finish second but never coming through at the end.
Here are two secrets that I've found out so far. Don't pass them around. 1. ALWAYS bet against Vincent Padilla. 2. ALWAYS fade my picks on a Monday. For some frigged up reason, I'm running around 1 for 30 in my Monday picks including the douchbag Oakland A's coughing up a 2 run lead in the ninth last night.
If anyone is interested in getting in some strictly for bragging right betting fun, drop me a line. Right now I've seen MiamiDon (who won at least one week), Waffles (third last week), Garth, and CJ throwing around some fake coinage.
~
Last night I somehow managed to finish 14th in the MATH with an absolute brutal run of cards. If I caught anything in late position worth getting a little funky with, it always got popped or re-popped before I had the chance. In early position I was getting dogshit baby face cards and mini mini pairs. If I managed to flop something in the limped blinds, I never got any action. My one lonely AA came UTG but my tiny 3x raise only induced insta-folds from the table.
I ducked some big hands from Hoy on my right, convinced bayne on my left to give me some chips late, but never really had anything going other than trying to find a hand to double up and get back in the game. Just never happened.
Congrats to VinNay for the win and Hoy for another big showing in 2nd. Hoy will have a writeup later, if it's not already up.
The BBT leaderboard has been updated and we shuffled some things around in the top 5 again. BuddyDank and NewinNov move up into 3rd and 4th. NewinNov also becomes the third player to cross the $1,000 money mark. The top 10 is tight and will only tighten up as we get closer to the end. There are only 11 more tournaments to move up into the top 50 points or the 20 events necessary for the end of challenge freeroll.
Next up is the Mookie on Wednesday. Hope to see a huge field out for that one.
Tournament: The Mookie
When: Wednesday. 10pm ET
Buyin: $10+1
Password: vegas1
Monday, June 04, 2007
Suckouts and Racists
This weekend seemed like the perfect opportunity to 'check out' again. Thursday night caused several varieties of life tilt that left me doing nothing Friday except to stick my head down at work and get my shit done quick enough to bolt with the masses. I quickly got over my ridiculous exit early in the Riverchasers tournament with the help of booze and distractions. I was working the trivia contest at the bar and was only able to play a few hands until I found someone willing to put their early tournament life on the line with the KQsooooted monster. My puny little QQ's were no match. After I went on my idiotic drunken tirade in chat, I shut down FTP all together and concentrated on real actual live events.
Earlier in the night I was stunned by a bizzaro-hot-girl turned ignorant-lunatic incident that still baffles me. This girl is fine looking and turns heads from blocks away. Occasionally she is mistaken for a decent, fun loving girl. Then she opens her mouth and exposes her brain. Somehow she decided to vent her frustration over the DJ. The same DJ I work with to run the trivia contest, the same guy who will knock back drinks and trade barbs for fun, the same DJ who happens to be African-American. The vile language coming from someone so cute is quite shocking. On my list of people I despise, ignorant racist whores are pretty damned near the top no matter what they look like. The top of the list is clowns. I really hate clowns.
So I drank some more after sending her away, back to her mouthbreathing inbred boyfriend.
I also drank to rid myself of the irritating feeling I had from work. I am missing this summer's blogger gathering in Vegas for one main reason. There was a business trip planned to Florida where I would spend the week convincing Gracie to drive down and enjoy some adult beverages. But instead of sitting in sunny-hot Orlando or even sunnier-hotter Vegas, I'm stuck sitting in the raining-muggy-fuggly Philly 'burbs.
I hope everyone has a blast. It looks like Falstaff and sloshr have some fine things planned. What I'll miss mostly is the crazy Friday night drunk/mixed games/insane drink-a-thon Friday night at the MGM. Since those started happening, I never once showed up to the blogger game the next day sober (no matter what time it started). Enjoy.
~
I thought MilwaukeeSteve was supposed to be a pro-drinker or something. If so, how the hell does this happen? Flaming shots of 151?
~
Sorry to everyone in Indianapolis or New Orleans. The fat tub o' shit that is Peter King just picked your teams to go to the Super Bowl. Kiss of death.
~
Only two blogger events this week, stop your whining. Now go get yer shine box.
Tournament: Mondays at the Hoy (MATH)
When: Monday. 10pm ET
Buyin: $24+2
Password: hammer
Tournament: The Mookie
When: Wednesday. 10pm ET
Buyin: $10+1
Password: vegas1
|
Earlier in the night I was stunned by a bizzaro-hot-girl turned ignorant-lunatic incident that still baffles me. This girl is fine looking and turns heads from blocks away. Occasionally she is mistaken for a decent, fun loving girl. Then she opens her mouth and exposes her brain. Somehow she decided to vent her frustration over the DJ. The same DJ I work with to run the trivia contest, the same guy who will knock back drinks and trade barbs for fun, the same DJ who happens to be African-American. The vile language coming from someone so cute is quite shocking. On my list of people I despise, ignorant racist whores are pretty damned near the top no matter what they look like. The top of the list is clowns. I really hate clowns.
So I drank some more after sending her away, back to her mouthbreathing inbred boyfriend.
I also drank to rid myself of the irritating feeling I had from work. I am missing this summer's blogger gathering in Vegas for one main reason. There was a business trip planned to Florida where I would spend the week convincing Gracie to drive down and enjoy some adult beverages. But instead of sitting in sunny-hot Orlando or even sunnier-hotter Vegas, I'm stuck sitting in the raining-muggy-fuggly Philly 'burbs.
I hope everyone has a blast. It looks like Falstaff and sloshr have some fine things planned. What I'll miss mostly is the crazy Friday night drunk/mixed games/insane drink-a-thon Friday night at the MGM. Since those started happening, I never once showed up to the blogger game the next day sober (no matter what time it started). Enjoy.
~
I thought MilwaukeeSteve was supposed to be a pro-drinker or something. If so, how the hell does this happen? Flaming shots of 151?
~
Sorry to everyone in Indianapolis or New Orleans. The fat tub o' shit that is Peter King just picked your teams to go to the Super Bowl. Kiss of death.
~
Only two blogger events this week, stop your whining. Now go get yer shine box.
Tournament: Mondays at the Hoy (MATH)
When: Monday. 10pm ET
Buyin: $24+2
Password: hammer
Tournament: The Mookie
When: Wednesday. 10pm ET
Buyin: $10+1
Password: vegas1
