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Thursday, February 22, 2007

Folding at The Mook 

I played in the Mookie last night which looked more like folding than playing. A huge run of complete shit at the beginning gave me carpal tunnel from hitting the fold button. What seemed like a quick exit was actually 16th out of 41. I dumped a bunch of chips early to eventual winner Maudie. I had hoped people would realize that I hadn't played a hand in the first two orbits. But KTsoooted is the new nutz and I was left crippled. My shortstack doubled up against WillWonka on an unfortunate river in a battle of blinds knocking him out later with AA. Down to two tables, I quickly grew weary of Zeem's open/push moves and prayed for a coin flip with my 88. An ace on the flop removed all suspense and I was shuffled off into dream land.

The Mookie tourney is always a great time and last night was no different. I enjoyed floating around the tables and chatting up during my record number of folds. The Love Elf had a nice comeback doubling up first with the Hammer and then with Aces. Unfortunately, DrizzCantMissAFlop paid her back by knocking her out with the hammer. Zeem was dropping the hammer with zest at my first table. Rumor has it the JoeSpeaker was at my first table but I must have blinked.

Congrats to Maudie on her first win in the Mookie and I'll see you there next week.

~

Today's cutie comes from the deep well I uncovered a few days ago that was just yelling for me to snag all the pics I wanted. In honor of Daddy, the man who has called for me for more dial-a-shots then any other person. I figured he'd like some pictures of Japanese model Reon Kadena. Click the picture below for a version of the picture that is a little less safe for work. Click here for the entire gallery.



~

If you want more pictures from where that came from, come on out tonight and play some poker. I already basically give away my chips in these events, but tonight I'm giving away actual money. Bounty time, knock me out and get your buy-in back. Easy. You just have to be lucky enough to be seated at my first table since I'll be at the bar. Booze will be flowing freely while I hang out with Falstaff and the BoyGenius at the Boathouse. I'll also put some sort of bounty on Gracie's head, only because I know there's no way she'll still be awake enough to even register.

Tournament: 13185806
Name: Riverchasers.com Tour Event #4
When: Thursday, February 22nd 9pm ET
Game: NLHE
Buyin: $10+1
password: riverchasers4

CC's Thursday Bash is over on PokerStars 30 minutes later for you two tabling SOB's or the donkey's knocked out in the first orbit (hand up).

Name: CC's Thursday Bash
Where: PokerStars
When: Thursday, 9:30pm ET
Game: NLHE
Buyin: $10+1
password: pokerworks

Cheers my friends. Pray for my liver and those of my friends. The phone is on and charged for dial-a-shots.

# posted by AlCantHang : 11:20 AM
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Wednesday, February 21, 2007

2007 ACHE World Tour kickoff 

What's that silly song lyric, "life is what happens when you're busy making plans"? Something like that. Seems to me that I've been doing but making plans for the last month. The super double secret 2007 Bash at the Boathouse plans move quickly then come to a screeching halt only to pick back up every few days. Plans have been made and altered. Everything changes except the infamous date when I hit a big number with a zero on the end.

Then there are the more immediate trips. As Mookie called it, "the beginning of the 2007 ACHE world tour, shirts should be printed". JDub mentioned an impromptu trip to Vegas, I tentatively agreed and he sent me the dates. Things seemed weird when I was looking at airfare prices until I realized that the trip is in the middle of the week. Next week. Nothing like waiting until the last moment. I kicked the idea around and finally booked my flight. I'll be in Vegas for a few days starting next Wednesday if anyone is going to be around. One guarantee is that I'll get together with Carmen for some poker and non drinking. I also need to begin my camera in the beer-repayment plan. Stories about hanging with Carmen should put the WaffleHouse on perma-tilt for a couple of weeks. Good thing he stopped playing poker.

Again.

He says he won't be playing for 9 months. I'll go ahead and set the over/under for him starting up again at early-April. The under is solid money.

The next decision was to make a run to Atlantic City the weekend of March 10th to meet up with Jordan again and Hoyazo for the first time. Not that big of a decision since it's only 90 minutes away, but BigMike had a bachelor party planned for that weekend and my plans were up in the air. Now I'll be heading down for that weekend for some booze, food, and to hopefully play in the Saturday WSoP Circuit event at Caesar's (impossible to predict such things due to the nature of the alcohol/hangover principle). Once again, I am not taking any backers for the tournament because there is exactly zero chance I will make the money. Now if someone wants to pony up some stripper/hooker/booze money, I'll guaran-goddamn-tee some prime grade-A photogs.

So all you NYC bloggers need to step up and get your ass to the crackhead capital of the world. And I'm talking to yous guys. Maybe even the WiffleBall can make an appearance and sit at the penny slots with the blue hairs while we play some poker.

There you have the first leg of the 2007 tour. The second quarter will probably include trips back to Vegas, Key West, and I still owe a trip to G-Vegas to donate some money in one of their many cash games.

~

And now for something completely different.

I was flipping through the channels last weekend, accidentally landed on the new vehicle for Jennifer Love Hewitt's breasticles, and saw an actress that looked familiar. After some searching I found her. She was the plain looking sister who played opposite of Nicole Eggert on Charles in Charge. She grew up nice and perty. Not skanky and Corey-diseased like the other one. Just another glimpse inside my completely warped brain. If any of my LA friends happen to know her, feel free to pass along my phone number. 1-800-DirtyOldMan

Naturally the BoyGenius was already aware ... "I've been all over this development for awhile now. She's passed Eggert by a country mile."

Click on the picture below to see how's she's grown up.



~

Don't forget about the Mookie tonight at 10pm ET and the next Riverchasers event on Thursday at 9pm ET. I'll be playing the Thursday night game from the bar with Falstaff in town telling my live and in person what kind of moronic lemur I really am.

Cheers.



Tournament: 13185806
Name: Riverchasers.com Tour Event #4
When: Thursday, February 22nd 9pm ET
Game: NLHE
Buyin: $10+1
password: riverchasers4

# posted by AlCantHang : 2:41 PM
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Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Mardi Gras Mourning, revisited 



Click to enlarge

Another year in the record books and another year I'm missing the biggest drunken gathering in the land. It's been 4 years now since I last made a trek down to New Orleans for Mardi Gras and the memories never fade. There is talk of making the trip again next year but we've said that for the last 4 years. I fear we may never go back.

For nearly a decade straight we made the trip south to party without stopping. Except for the occasional bar shutdown for a medical emergency or to walk a friend back to the hotel after he chugged a 32 ounce hurricane made with grain. We would spend 4 days doing nothing but eating, drinking, and bitching about the smell in the room. Have you seen the gutters on Bourbon Street? Most of the clothing never made it home.

A Lucky Dog with the works at 4am to keep the party rolling (best damned hotdogs in the world, in my opinion). Acting as puppet master with the beads from the Cat's Meow balcony. Pissing off the bouncers at the Dungeon just because the building might collapse and doing the Mardi Gras shuffle in traffic to lose those annoying friends. Emeril's, Brennan's, The Court of Two Sisters, and ACME Seafood were all nearly acceptable substitutes for Lucky Dogs or beignet's at Cafe Du Monde. Going to crazy parades only to get clocked in the head by gold painted coconuts or watch John Larroquette knock himself out hitting a tree branch on a Bacchus float. Trays of shots and carbombs and handgrenades. Bartenders who knew our names even though we only saw them once a year.

It was partying with a million of your closest friends and nearly impossible to describe. It's just something that needs to be experienced to believe. It was our Super Bowl.

Most people would hate it. We loved it.

Maybe I'll get to experience it again some year. We haven't been back to my favorite American city since it was destroyed by God and Government. That needs to change.

~

Two of my favorite pictures from my last Mardi Gras. The first one was an omen for the entire trip. Stepping off the shuttle the first day on Royal Street I was met by an old friend who would keep me warm and safe. If I had seen this later during the weekend, I would have sworn I was hallucinating.

The second picture was taken at Fat Cat's, the VIP upstairs at the Cat's Meow. By VIP, it meant access to the balcony and longer lines at the pisser. I have no idea who the girl is but we seemed to be having a good time. This is also the first picture Dr. Pauly posted of me on his site. Seems I've lost at least a half ton since those days.

~

3 years ago I started typing and I just can't stop. It's like an avalanche of stupidity. Unstoppable amounts of craptitude in one easy location. Thanks to everyone for keeping me entertained.

~

The next Riverchasers event is coming up this Thursday (password change). I'm thinking of just renaming it in honor of GCox for the way he's been running in them. 4 events, 4 cashes. May be time to put a bounty on his head. See you then and at the Mookie tomorrow night.

Cheers.

Tournament: 13185806
Name: Riverchasers.com Tour Event #4
When: Thursday, February 22nd 9pm ET
Game: NLHE
Buyin: $10+1
password: riverchasers4

# posted by AlCantHang : 10:45 AM
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Monday, February 19, 2007

Pale Man and Stripper Tilt 

It what bizarro world does my life make any sense? What kind of normal person goes from one day having surreal experiences with a strung out stripper in a low grade club to the next day eating brioche french toast at brunch and watching a subtitled movie favored to win the foreign film Oscar? The picture on the right is from the movie, not a picture of stripper chick.

Quick review of Pan's Labyrinth. Good movie. Tons of symbolism, not enough Pan. A scene that gives new meaning to the term "talking out of the side of his mouth". Worth a trip to the theater to see it on the big screen.

Thursday night started as the all do. Booze, drunken FTP poker, and trivia at the bar. It's a formula that's been working well and I saw no reason why it shouldn't again. There was a bit of an anomaly during trivia, in that we didn't win. Only the second time in 6 months I believe. Naturally you can hang that on me because I'm the idiot of the bunch. Drunken poker went well at the Razz tables and it's fun chasing my bartab money online. Normal players have to make their nut each session to stay alive, I just need to make enough money to pay for my booze and nicotine addictions.

Then someone had a brilliant suggestion, me again. Still reeling from my valentine's day strip club disappointment, I floated the idea of making a post-trivia run to the strip club which was rumored to have been upgraded.

It wasn't.

At least no more silly pasties.

Things took a turn towards the odd. One of those moments when I had to step back and say 'how the fuck did I get into this position'. I found myself doing shots of jager with one of the girls following a very enthusiastic lap dance. That morphed into prop bets on a couple games of pool with her. I was playing pool with a very tall blonde stripper, one of the very few girls that actually was worth looking out, betting cash and lap dances on banked one-handed shots. She was tall even before climbing aboard her stiletto stripper stilts. The other crackheads and cutters were onstage vying for the occasional $1 toke while I'm shooting a game with a 7 foot dancer. In the end, I broke even in the betting so no free lap dance for me. She was never very subtle with her attempts at distraction and they worked well. (and not a tattoo on her entire body, how very odd)

That may sound all well and good and just a tiny bit crazy but that's not it. That's not the truly bizarre part of the story. It was her name that had me on stripper tilt until just this very moment as I write this. We were in the club for all of 10 minutes before my new pool/shot/lap dance buddy was introduced to us along with the entire bar. When the DJ finished her intro you could hear one head hit the bar (mine) and 3 chuckles from the chuckleheads.

"Gentlemen, I want you to put your hands together for our next girl on stage.....

"... EVA!"

Well fuck me running.

# posted by AlCantHang : 10:41 AM
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