Thursday, December 07, 2006

RIP Dimebag 

2 years ago, just as we were getting ready for the first ever blogger gathering, Dimebag Darrell of Pantera fame was shot dead on stage as he was playing with his new band Damageplan. He's was a sick, thrashing, ear-smashing, drinking, smokin', guitar god from Texas. I was getting ready to meet my thrashing brother in arms when that crazy shit went down. Many shots were raised and I think we scared Maudie and G-Rob in the stretch limo on the way to the blogger tourney.

I asked BadBlood for his opinion on the top 5 Dimebag songs, and here you have them from the man himself.

Let him who hath understanding reckon the Top 5:

In no particular order:

1. Walk
2. Primal Concrete Sledge
3. Mouth For War
4. Revolution Is My Name
5. BONUS RARE: Light Comes Out of Black - from Buffy the Vampire Slayer Soundtrack, Rob Halford on vocals.


I'm just a quick nap away from hopping on a plane to Sin City for some hardcore degenerate good times with my invisible internet friends. I'm predicting 6 hours of sleep combined by Monday not including passing out on the plane coming home. I'll have the cell phone handy for anyone who might need a dial-a-shot. If you have my number, feel free to use it.

Rage on, my friends.
Rock out with your cock out.
Jam out with your clam out.
And pray for our souls.


Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Quiet Lion likes Waffles for dinner 

I suppose the list on the right will explain why MrWhipple doesn't have another "I own Richard Brodie" post up on his site today. For the second Tuesday in a row I found myself sitting at the bar with BigMike with the laptops open and logged onto FTP (new tradition methinks). After checking out the full micro-Razz tables, I found a couple friends online and Quiet Lion was back at the deep stack NL game. He was fending off his rapidly growing groupie fan base enough to grab a seat in another HORSE SnG. Seriously, I have no idea how he handles all the tardo chat including someone last night who was being sly and asking for a stake.

Waffles couldn't resist the pull of lemur laden HORSE and he hopped in with both feet. Then right back out just as quickly. Something about two tabling another SnG or some such non-sense. I sensed weakness and fear of my newly acquired Luckbox-like style.

Sure enough I managed to stick around to the money even though I had no business being there. It took some primo hose jobs on my competitors to get me there. It does get a little confusing playing that silly game when distracted at the bar. I'm pretty sure I folded the nuts when I thought we were playing Razz when in fact it was Stud. Hee fucking haw donkey.

I look forward to introducing Waffles and Richard in Vegas. Mayhaps remind Brodie that it was Waffles who made the 'electronic rogaine' crack about his avatar having more hair. Waffles promises not to avoid me in Vegas this time around so we shall see how that goes over.


Very disappointed in some of my geek friends out there. You should know that even this drunk monkey knows what that shitty Microsoft generic error means. I set up the geek joke waiting for it get knocked out of the park and I get actual advice. Buddy Laptop is doing well once I cleared up my driver mashup and all is well.

So here's the critical part of the error I was hoping more people would figure out.

74 6F 6F 20 6D 75 63 68
20 70 6F 72 6E 20 79 6F
75 20 73 69 63 6B 20 62
61 73 74 61 72 64


"A winning hand is never bad poker!!!! It takes more balls to stay and wait for that straight."
Actual words from a poster (about a gutshot no less) on Riverchasers forum. Starting to understand why I invite my blogger friends to the Riverchaser bi-weekly tourneys? I'm going to start demanding a taste of the action soon.


Polls are still open in the Battle of Jessica, vote early, vote often.

Jessica Alba pictures

Jessica Biel pictures

Jessica Simpson pictures



Don't forget about the Mookie tonight. Naturally I will give you a proper NOT SAFE FOR WORK bribe, and a safe for work pic also. Don't make me pull out Hilga again! Cheers and see you tonight.


Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Near death of a companion and Battle of the Jessica 

I've worked with these pieces of junk, servers, desktops, laptops, since around the time Bill Gates decided he wanted to take over the world. I've been elbow deep in all forms of hardware for well over two decades. I've seen all kinds of crashes, memory dumps, and bug checks. I've seen all varieties of battle in a tug o' war to the death between the OS and hardware. I've refereed some fine knock down fights with mismatches, mishandles, mis-whatever the fuck you want to call it. I remember when it was funny to put the blue screen of death screen saver on someone else's machine. I've even heard the slow death rattle of an ancient dinosaur.

I thought I had witnessed it all. Until this morning when I heard the death of a laptop. My laptop.

My laptop and I have a very symbiotic relationship. The thing is horrible but I still can't part with it, my laptop 'knows' that I'm a complete douchebag yet continues to kind of run the way it should. Hours upon hours I sit in front of it, countless characters scrolling across the small screen, attached to my skull via headphones blasting music too loud. I try not to piss it off and it tries to keep me from going completely insane.

I almost lost that companion today. Sitting here getting ready to cruise off into boredom work mode, head phones in, just about to fire up the day's list of crap metal to drown out my coworkers when all of a sudden I hear...



What the fuck!

I shot backwards across the room as I saw the bug check clear from the screen and the annoying Windows scroll began as my dear friend was trying to come back to life. I've seen machines crash, I've even smelled my fair share of those bastards getting burnt out. But I've never heard one sound like it just got shot with a hitman's .22 caliber right up side his head. And that sound was blasted straight into my eardrums. Decades of standing in front of 18 inch bass bins has caused me to have the speaker setting up a tad higher than your average tech head. I still have a bit of the heavy metal ear from the laptop 'imploding'.

I gave him CPR and finally got him back up and ticking. It was touch and go there for awhile but I think he'll be ok for the time being.

But let's see what kind of geeks we have out there. Anyone figure out from this one error what my problem was?

Event Type: Error
Event Source: EventLog
Event Category: None
Event ID: 6008
Date: 12/5/2006
Time: 7:54:13 AM
User: N/A
The previous system shutdown at 6:51:47 AM on 12/5/2006 was unexpected.
74 6F 6F 20 6D 75 63 68
20 70 6F 72 6E 20 79 6F
75 20 73 69 63 6B 20 62
61 73 74 61 72 64


Further tales from the IT shit hole. I bring you my latest faux pas. I found out how to bring a 20 person IT meeting to a screeching halt. Yesterday, from mine own mouth came forth the words,

"I'm not sure. You're going to have to ask Stephanie who's been hitting her box hard each night."
chirp chirp, chirp chirp.

Thank you, good night. I'm here all week, try the veal.


Now a word from my twisted side. BigSlickNuts had a post and poll up earlier that needs further data. PTI asked the question a couple weeks ago, who is hotter, Jessica Simpson or Jessica Alba? BSN threw in Jessica Biel just for comparison. So here's your chance to vote. Below are several pictures of each, click on the image to enlarge because some have been shrunk to fit. Of course, if you have better pics than I posted, feel free to upload them here and drop a line in the comments to let me know.

Jessica Alba pictures

Jessica Biel pictures

Jessica Simpson pictures



Monday, December 04, 2006

The countdown has begun 

Long time no blog. Friday was rough. Really really rough. There was a party going on at the Boathouse Thursday night, I stuck to my strict diet of no food for at least 12 hours before drinking, and we won trivia again which meant even more booze. Throw the Riverchasers tourney smack dab in the middle and I felt like a doormat all day Friday.

I was completely surprised to log into FTP on Thursday and see Michael Craig signed up and donking along with us. He was two tabling our tourney and one of the big guaranteed tournaments. Is was a nice addition to the series I've been throwing. We keep getting bigger, this time with 98 runners and another fine showing by the bloggers. We had Jason, surflexus, Drizz, and Gary join my friend Landow at the final table with Drizz and Gary chopping the top two spots.

I told you guys to take it easy on them...


I seriously planned on sitting down and pounding out some Vegas-themed posts for this week in anticipation of another liverbending weekend on Sunday. That's when I found out that my local Fox and CBS affiliates were going to stick me with two abortions for games. Jets/Packers and Bears/Vikings. That drove me right out of the house into the closest bar with the NFL Sunday ticket. Seriously, did anyone who watched the Bears/Vikings think they were watching their local high school tilt from Saturday afternoon?

And those damned Vikings singledhandedly lost me an FFL game since the guy I was going against had the Bears defense. Damned Bears D/ST practically outscored my entire team.


Pauly once again has his tips up for the Vegas gathering. Good stuff and I'll pull out two items to reiterate.

2. Sip, don't chug.

Pace yourself with your alcohol consumption. Al Cant Hang is a machine. His blood type is 180 Proof because Al is really an alien. He's not of this world. Don't succumb to the frission of being in a casino bar with all your favorite bloggers and foolishly attempt to keep up. If you do, you'll end up clutching the porcelain God at 4am wondering why the hell that cab driver punched you out after you yaked up your dinner and a half a bottle of Southern Comfort in his back seat. Surviving the Sherwood Forest bar at 9am on the morning of the blogger tournament was a moment I'll never forget. It's a badge of courage like a soldier who managed to get through D-Day without a scratch. I'm glad that we made it through an entire weekend of partying in Vegas the last two Decembers and benders in the last two summers without anyone getting their stomachs pumped at the hospital or landing themselves in the drunk tank at the Clark County jail. Let's keep it that way. Moderation is the key to happiness.
I'm not so sure how much I agree with the moderation part, I'm gonna be there to get fired up and take as many along as I can. But I'll be there to help with your journey through the mind numbing drinking experience, have no fear. Consider your hangover as a badge of honor, I will. Seriously though, there are several in this group that you are just not going to want to try and go shot for shot with. Unless you think you can, then go ahead and give it your best shot.

3. Water and Motrin are your best friend.

Las Vegas is in the middle of the fuckin' desert. Drink water. Lots of it. I used to try to drink one glass of water per alcoholic beverage consumed. In Vegas I do my best to double that amount. Sure, I'm pissing every eight minutes, but you're head will thank you the next day when you're experiencing a hangover-free morning. One of my biggest expenses in Vegas is my water tab, well that and trips to strip clubs with Grubby.

Motrin is essential for combating hangovers. During college, one of my friends' girlfriend gave me several Motrin after I complained about my bum knee. She took Motrin for cramps and it's a reliable pain killer. If you expect to going running with the bulls and attempt to go shot for shot with AlCantHang, you will most likely die of SoCo poisoning. If you do survive, you will have the worst headache on the planet and wish you were dead. Dr. Pauly suggests taking four Motrin every three hours after a night of heavy drinking.
Amen and amen. You will see me with water just as much as you will with Southern Comfort. Fight the hangover while you're drinking. Keep hydrated.

My best advice to you, pull a WaffleHouse move like he did at the July gathering. He just avoided me at all costs. Easiest way to stay sober and not find yourself curled up on the cool cool floor of the bathroom at odd times of the day. Seriously, he avoided me like a Soco carrying plague.

The first test will be at the MGM Sportsbook Friday night. In what's become an unwritten tradition, we break every possible rule in the sportsbook Friday night during the MGM mix game and they keep serving up the adult beverages. See everyone there.

Now go read the rest of Pauly's tips and prepare yourself. Just a couple short days until I get to see my invisible internet friends again.

Restating the Lewey mantra, "The liver is evil and must be punished!"