Friday, March 11, 2005

We're in..... officially 

A ton of stuff I want to write about. I'll get to what I can today.


I am officially booked into Vegas for the June gathering. I was defintely going but I have been trying to arrange some group rates for those of us degenerates staying downtown.

My official party headquarters this gathering will be downtown at The Plaza. I wrangled a two bedroom "Party" suite from them for a good price. Setting the partying record straight, that's me, Mrs.CantHang, Pauly, Derek, BG, and Bob staying down there.

If that's not a party, you haven't been paying much attention.

I'm still checking on a group rate but they're pretty cheap at the moment.


Last night the good doctor talked me into buying into the 11pm Omaha8 tourney on Full Tilt. Nothing major. A $5 buy-in 80-odd player tourney.

The about level 2, Erik Seidel gets a seat to my right.

(yeah, on Full Tilt, I'm an ASS)

I finished in 24th. Not bad considering I couldn't catch anything after the first break and the blinds killed me.

The highlight though was getting in one hand with "Rounders" Seidel and almost collecting the bounty. I pushed him down to the felt with T153. Of course, he ended up finishing 4th. The clueless ass monkey at my table who played




ended up winning the entire tournament.

While everyone was asking Erik a ton of questions, it was nice to have an AlCantHang contingent on hand making their "Bob" like comments. Pauly, Felicia, Joanne, Glyphic, and Bob.


Yesterday was very odd for stats on the site. Somehow 4,000+ unique visitors found their way here when my average has been around 400. They can't all be looking for Lindsay?

But I should have looked at my "Country" stats before offering up to travel. Heafy reminded me of that.

It sucks, I was supposed to be in Syndey sometime this year but the wife made me get all 'responsible' and buy a house. bah.

Here's the really odd list of countries that have visited this here crap-blog recently. Kinda weirds me out just a little.


The rest will have to wait for later. Currently making my plans for the evening.

They involve the standard booze/smoke fest, but with the added request. I told the wifey my goal was to get sloppy then hit the local diner for "shit on a shingle", pancakes, and my weight in bacon.




Thursday, March 10, 2005

BigMike, Drunk Penguins, and Scizzay Chaffin 

Bad news in the CantHang Crew. BigMike, ruler of Sherwood Forrest, took a monster header on the ice in the parking lot. Luckily it was in the work parking lot so I should expect the company name change in future to include the word Michael.

The bad news is that when he went down, the big guy broke his left arm.

He has been kind enough to inform me that it was his "non pitching arm". If you catch me drift.

He'll be in a full arm cast for the next 8 weeks. Unfortunately, the Key West trip is 6 weeks away.


I just got this email from a co-worker....

A friend of mine needs to sell six (6) tickets for the March 19 Ashlee Simpson concert at the Tower Theater in Upper Darby at 7:30 pm. They are eighth row, right orchestra.

If you have any interest, please let me know.
At first I thought it was a joke. But she sent it to the entire division.

I'm thinking I might have to take them. As long as I'm paid enough money. Just for fun. A drunk, long-haired, head-banger in the 6th row flipping the bird to little Miss Big Boobs-Can't Sing a Lick.


In real concert news, I definitely will be missing this show in Chicago due to Key West, so someone has to go and report back.

ANTHRAX have confirmed a one-off show at the House of Blues in Chicago, Illinois on April 30 with the classic "Among the Living" lineup, featuring singer Joey Belladonna, guitarists Scott Ian and Dan Spitz, drummer Charlie Benante and bassist Frank Bello. This will be the only U.S. show the band will do prior to their European summer festival run.

From Pinky at Fish-n-Chips concerning his upcoming jump across the pond:

I'll also be travelling between Boston and NYC if there are bloggers that want to hook up in any of those places but cant make it to the Borgata. I'll be in NYC from 28th-31st March. Or if you're anywhere near Harvard (21st-23rd), Brown (23rd-24th), Yale (25th)or Princeton (26th-27th) you should come and hear my a cappella group - one of our tenors does an excellent cowbell impression!
More Cowbell! As I wrote earlier, we'll be meeting up sometime in AC during the first weekend of April. Borgata, B-Bar, N.O.W, and the poker room. I'll be the one wearing Chelsea blue.


In my hungover mind, I can't help but mention how happy I am that Chelsea and Liverpool have advanced in the Champions League while ManYoo supporters and Gooners are talking about shitcanning red nosed Ferguson and the Arse.

Could be a VERY interesting bet between myself and Joe later down the road.


Last night was one of the times I wished Bob were around. He could have come up with some great lines. No camera but the rumor is the wifey caught some pics on the camera phone.

We walked into the bar extra early yesterday. Nothing unusual. The upstairs bar was pretty packed because of a party. Again, nothing odd.

Then we realized that the party involved about a half dozen girls dressed up like penguins.

(Looks like you blew a seal. Bing.)

It's took us a second but we finally realized they weren't penguins but real honest-to-god nuns, chugging beer straight from the bottle. I didn't say a word to them. I already know I'm going to hell but I'm certainly not looking to add any heat.

But Pete and the wifey couldn't resist. After downing several shots, they walked up to the group. Turns out they're beer swilling nuns from Wisconsin or Minnesota. One of those fly-over states.

Pete determined the head penguin err nun and god damn if she didn't knock back a big ol' shot of soco.

Hell is going to be a very fun place.


So you see I've know set up and affiliate with FullTilt Poker. I've somehow managed to avoid doing anything like this previously. I've always used other bloggers to pass the bucks around the guys that I read (BONUS CODE IGGY DAMMIT).

But it finally seemed like a good time. Hank joined the Full Tilt team (and now fhrwdh) and I thought this would help them out a bit. And now EVERYONE has an affiliate with Full Tilt. I predict by the end of the year, I'll have two signups. Landow and some lonely Lindsay Lohan fan from Baku in the Uuand Islands who hits her picture here three times a day (where the f#$% are the Uuland Islands anyway? If I really cared I suppose I could look it up.)

To change this, I've decided to run a contest. Midway through the summer, I will randomly chose a player who has used my affiliate, and the winner will get a surprise visit from the CantHang crew.

Here's what the winner gets.

We will show up to your house with a party in tow, bust into your liquor cabinet and drink all the booze, tear apart the fridge, pour sugar in your gas tank, and blow chunks on your front lawn.

Unless, of course, chunks is the name of your dog. In that case, I shall not be blowing chunks on the front lawn.

How's that sound to you? Can you handle dat?

Sign up now on the greatest poker site in the history of the world of online poker sites!


God, I think I just threw up in my mouth.

Just a little.


Finally, this site might be responsible for me making a little accident in my drawers. Translate any website into Gangsta! The CNN link is great but it takes awhile to load.

I couldn't resist and had to run Scott's last post through it. Enjoy.

Scott's original post.

Scizzay Chaffin's translated post.




Wednesday, March 09, 2005

60 degress and sunny on Monday. Tuesday freezing and a blizzard. Today 17 degrees.



I saw April link to this site and couldn't resist. You can blame her for a serious lack of posting today. Funny stuff.

South Park AlCantHang


No poker for me last night. The wifey took over and ran her new Full Tilt account up pretty well. (affiliate affiliate affiliate)

So I'll leave the poker post with the following from Ray Zee:

"Many of your opponents believe that O8 is incredibly complex, often citing that an O8 hand contains six hold'em hands, as opposed to only one. They also believe strategy options are virtually endless.

These beliefs can enable your opponents to justify playing too many hands, and to play some hands very imaginatively. They get trapped in pots that they have no business being in, and they don't understand the correct value of many hands that they play. In other words, the games are frequently very good."

You don't believe me, believe him. I'm still working my way through High Low Split Poker and it's already improving my game.

But do me a favor, don't play it. I like having a relatively shark-free game.


From the "What a light weight" Department....

21-Year-Old Man Dies After Winning Tequila-Drinking Contest

"The winner of the contest died. Ricardo Ivan Garcia drank more than 50 shots of tequila Sunday night at Santo Domingo's Blanc, Dance and Lounge discotheque to win the prize of $330 -- 10,000 pesos -- at a Mexican night celebration."


Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Chelsea advance in the Champion's League!


I'm a shill, just a lonely ol' shill..... 

Short but sweet today.

You may notice in the top right corner, I have an affiliate setup with Full Tilt Poker. Please feel free to use the link to sign up for the next WPBT event.

Full Tilt Poker
March 13th, 9pm EST
WPBT HORSE Tournament
password = thehammer

More shilling later.


Well, I did it again.

Took my seat for some O8 fishing. Third hand I got dealt AK23 two suited. The flop brings all low cards for the nut low. I have protection in my hand to help prevent it from being counterfieted. 6 people come along for the ride. Nice juicy table.

A king hits the turn.

A king hit the river and I'm thinking I've got a great chance to scoop. Sure enough, the entire pot slides my way.

But wait a second, it didn't show the qualifying low. What could that mean?

That means this dork you're reading was really sitting at an Omaha Hi table and was pushing the low when there were 7 in the pot. Then sucked out runner runner Kings to take down a big one.

Would MeanGene consider it ratholing since I immediately left with my profit when I realized my mistake.

For the record. My current winrate in Omaha Hi is 216.67 BB / 100 hands. Match that!


Check out Riding the F Train for the strangest poker tournament I've seen in awhile. Good stuff. Unless you win.


Just because it's still funny and I have limited time today. More goofy searches.

Yankees Dog Collar - Wait, wasn't it just October when that collar choked them?

Booze DT's

MonkeyBoy boobs?

People of smoke and drink

Finally, from Qatar of all places.... Drunk girls playing around.


Monday, March 07, 2005

Walking sausages and dropping The Hammer with ACHE 

"When I get pissed off, I beat up the windmill"
That was BigMike's response to a general discussion on golf and the worst thing we've done when angered of the course. I personally took all three woods out of my bag, snapped them in half, and threw them in the lake. Best thing to ever happen to my golf game.


Anyway, Friday started off well. Out from work early, which of course means early to the bar. And everyone was in a good mood. By good, I mean rowdy, "let's get ourselves ripped to the tits drunk and say fuck 'em all. "

That's also my way of submitting an excuse for no pics. By the time we changed bars, I was the drunkard that sober people were taking picture of. It was a stellar night of good music, good friends, good buzz, and several hundred Main Line college girls.


disclaimer: I am an ugly, fat, lazy, alcoholic man. I have no business busting on people.

Apparently someone left the gate open at the fat farm (and not phat with a ph). Dozens stampeding. One in particular I swear was planted there by the makers of Southern Comfort. And I've now sworn off sausage in any form.

She was dancing around, wearing something WAY to tight. Sausage casing tight. As she was dancing, the clothing is 'moving' and different parts were being squeezed out.

Bursting out.

Eva, being polite, just kept her head down and didn't say anything, Me? I ran right to the bar everytime it happened.

BG might have written 3,000 words on the subject, but that's it for me.


disclaimer AGAIN: I am an ugly, fat, lazy, alcoholic man. I have no business busting on people.

The night turned into a mess of thrashing, drinking, witnessing the world's largest handblown glass pipe (the good doctor would be proud), arguments over fire extinguisher (too long and too unbelievable to even write), customer-on-customer fights, bouncer-on-customer fights, bouncer AND law enforcement-on-customer fights.

So basically pretty much your standard friday night Hang.


Link number one of the day. She's no Jennie Finch, but she'll do.


Saturday we were supposed to go out to large club to see the band play. Further upstate with promises of bigger badder moshing, ear-bleeding decibels, slutty 80's rocker girls, and probably the last bastion of the killer mullets. (if you've never been to that website, check it out)

But alas, the wifey was not feeling well so it was a Saturday night at home crunching away at the O8 tables.


More great reporting from LasVegasVegas and the PokerProf during the Head's-Up Championship.

Scott Fischman defeats David Sklansky? What are the odds of that?

Oy. Make me stop.


Sunday I was invited over to Caucci's for a friendly single table NLHE tourney. And a cash game afterwards.

Off we went.

1: Phil McCracken
2: Kevin, Dutch, or Duncan (depending on the day and venue)
3: Crystal
4: Your favorite drunk idiot
5: BigMike
6: Caucci
7: EvaCanHang
8: Stormin' Out Steve

At the same time as this was going on, I was playing *cough* another online tournament. Running back and forth between the table and the pc to play the occasional hand.

Steve was waaaay up. Then gave it all away in three hands. Including tripling up the princess on his last hand. BigMike went out next, followed by Crystal.

I had far fewer chips than the other 4 playing so I was waiting for a good time to double up. I caught QQ, pushed my puny stack in. Eva calls AND Phil calls. d'oh

I had Eva's AQ ready to go down and Phil's J9o (!) dominated. A Queen on the turn made me ready to triple up when a T on the river gave Phil the magical runner runner straight.

Caucci was the next to go out on the bubble.

Kevin will be remembered by Pauly, BG, and Carter as the pants-dropping, booze-swelling, vintage Gibson slinging, guitar player from the AlCantHang Experiment who played during the last Bash at the Boat. (Duncan on lead vocals.)

I knew I was in trouble when he mentions right off the bat the he plans on playing a prominent part in posting about the tourney.

Well, he made a great effort. Dropping The Hammer with authority, drinking a bottle of Captain Morgan's, and smoking like a fiend. And also finished in the money.

That left Phil and Eva in a head's up battle for the win. Eventually they ended up chopping with Phil taking the win.

The cash game was just messy and I'd rather just put it all behind me.


Thank you.


The song of the day is brought to you by an unidentified individual who uploaded in to my site.

Tankman Blues