Friday, July 30, 2004

I've been avoiding posting anything all morning.  I've managed to find other things to occupy my mind (uh, work maybe?)  So here's what you get today.  Absolutely, positively zero creativity.


I refuse.  In return, I promise a nice weekend report.  Today's happy hour starts really early (benefit of being oncall all week) and will continue until the wee hours of Sunday.  I hope to play in the saturday and sunday micro-buyin multis, but no promises there.

I'll be going to see my friends play Saturday night.  I think they've noticed I haven't been around in awhile.  Below is the bottom half of their schedule email.  Could be a subtle hint.

Check out our new web site @ http://www.crystalroxx.com/
E mail the band @ theband@crystalroxx.com

Booking info Contact - Eli Sentmen or Anthony Baker @ AAA 610 328 6500 or e mail the band @ theband@crystalroxx.com
North Jersey Contact - Steve, Ryan, or Alex @ Stars Productions 973 300 9123


The last time I saw them at Maddies, it was crazy as hell and I came up with the following rule of marriage.
Rule #42235. If your wife is by herself in the midst of a crowd of strangers. Do not, repeat DO NOT, sneak up behind her and grab her ass. This is particularly important if your wife has been drinking (and a touch bit rowdy). One of two things are about to happen. 1. She is going to turn around one way, find the nearest stranger, and crack them over the head with her beer bottle. 2. She is going to turn around and crack you in the head with her beer bottle.
Now I think I'm being funny. I've got a couple of doubles in me, starting to wake up and enjoy the night. The wifey has gone walk-about and I find her near the front of the stage, off to the side. There are 3 or 4 guys standing near her. I sneak up and give a bit of a tweak in the backyard. She's got a few frosty beverages put back and working on another. She turns around with eyes ablaze, bottle in hand, looking for another soul to claim.
Luckily for me, two things happen to prevent a trip to the emergency room. My cat-like reflexes, honed in the finest rock establishments on the East Coast, gave me the skill and dexterity to avoid the blow. I'm sure the doubles made all the difference. Also, it didn't hurt when the wifey realized at the last moment that if she didn't pull her punch, she was going to spend the rest of the night in the emergency room waiting for her drunk, bleeding husband.
It promises to be another crazy night. A couple of the guys from Forty Ounces are coming up as well as the last night I'll be able to hang out with my friend Brad before he heads back land of a million goddamn lakes. If I'm alive come Sunday, I've been invited to a home game with a bunch of players new to the game. Yummy. I haven't feasted on fresh fish in awhile.
Last night was a nice, generic bender. I couldn't be bother with silly little things like promotions or meandering looking for innocent victims for MonkeyBoy Jr. Just good, solid play drinking.
We did have a suprise visit from Katherine who works for 'YSP.  She had fun working for them at the bar during the earlier promotion and decided to come hang out and drink some boozey.
No Tanya last night.  Very disappointed.  I miss Tanya.
LONDON (Reuters) - A poster campaign urging people not to eat smelly foods on London's overcrowded and overheated underground system has sparked a diplomatic incident with Italy.
The poster showing an overweight and Mediterranean-looking man lounging in an underground train carriage surrounded by hams, salamis and strings of garlic triggered a torrent of letters from angry Italians and even the Italian ambassador. "We considered this poster to be very offensive to the Italian image, Italian products and the Italian company that is clearly identified," the Italian Embassy's economic counselor Guido Cerboni told Reuters." It is a caricature of Italians."
Renee (Moe’s girlfriend): Really, you think I’m gorgeous?
Moe: Yeah, well the parts that are showing. I guess you could have a lot of weird scars or a fake ass or something.
Renee: You don’t talk to a lot of women do you?
That is all.  The best I can do with my limit brain today.
Thanks for stopping by this humble craptacular blog.  And welcome home from vacation Jerry.


Thursday, July 29, 2004

The making of a bad dream 

A quick rundown of my night last night. 1 pack of Marlboro Cowboy Killers, 30 pounds of raw fish, 16 ounces of rare filet mignon, ~half a bottle of SoCo, and 2 hours of Amish in the City on the bar TV.

My god, can you even imagine the kind of nightmares I had last night when I crashed?

Something along the lines of playing strip poker with Amish girls while the wife is beating me in the back of the head with a fish, and Pauly shows up with a bottle Southern that turns out to be empty when he pours it and I turn around to see my pocket rockets cracked by the hammer and the Amish girls are just sitting there waiting and I look the left to find Al Delvecchio shaking his head going "yep, yep, yep, yep"........

AAHHHHHH. And I wake up.

Good lord.


From the Poker Prof:

...and I fully expect to see you and Iggy at the WSOP this year... at the final table.

Iggy, maybe.  Me?  The only way you'll see me at the Final Table is if they hire me as the beer wench and I'm delivering a Guinness to the blogfather, pouring an Anheuser World Select over Hellm0uth, and bitch slapping Dutch Boyd.


I think I'm actually embarrassed that I enjoyed Amish in the City last night.  Maybe it was the booze goggles because I despise 'Reality TV'.  The Amish kids came across 100 times better then the city kids.

Alright, I'm willing to consider maybe it was the booze goggles.


Making the night even better, Manchester United lost to Celtic in Philly.  Plus, my tickets arrived for the Chelsea v. AC Milan match on Monday.

A little more Al info for ya.  I'm get almost as excited for the start of the English Premier League as I do for the NFL.  Sacrilege, I know.  But the truth.  Go Blues!


Have I mentioned the September 25th party yet?


Coming up on the Simpsons:

A character from The Simpsons is to be revealed as gay, sparking a mystery among fans over who it will be.

"We have a show where, to raise money, Springfield legalises gay marriage," producer Al Jean told fans at a comic book convention.

"Homer becomes a minister by going on the internet and filling out a form. A long-time character comes out of the closet, but I'm not saying who."

Anyone with a good guess?  I'm going with Mo.  Going all the way back to the Aerosmith episode where he created a drink called "The Flaming Mo".  It's gotta be him.


Hi Felicia!
I've been doing a lot of Felicia reading lately.  A looonngg time ago, I signed up on Yahoo to read your posts before moving to FeliciaLee.net.  I hadn't checked my Yahoo email in months.  Good god did I find a lot correspondence.

It was like grabbing your winter jacket on the first cold day and finding 50 bucks in the pocket.



"It's exciting. In some ways I'm better at this than acting. I mean, not that I think I'm bad at acting but I love this."

--BEN AFFLECK, quoted in The Washington Post, during a breakfast appearance with the Missouri delegation at the Democratic National Convention.


That should hold everyone over until tomorrow's hangover induced rant.

Oh well he's very popular Ed; the sport-o's, motorheads, geeks, sluts, waistoids, bloods, dweebies, dickheads. They all adore him. They think he's a righteous dude.


Wednesday, July 28, 2004

Anyone ever wonder how a troll like myself ended up with the beautiful Mrs. CantHang?  Check out the latest issue of Pauly's Truckin' literary e-zine.  More importantly, there are stories from 3 other poker bloggers.  Otis from Up for Poker, the Poker Penguin, and Pauly himself.  My favorite this month is from Otis.  It makes me want to head back to New Orleans right now.


Speaking of Otis, he left one of the funniest comments ever in my last post. 

...I'm starting to get weird looks from family and co-workers.In the shower, sitting at my desk, cooking dinner...all day long I'm mindlessly singing...Allll can't hang...Allll can't hang...It's really hard to explain to people that I'm singing the lyrics to an actual song about a guy I've never met but feel like I have partied with.

As soon as your liver starts making your decisions, then it feels like a party.


Welcome back to Sean from the left coast.  Looks like he did pretty well for himself at HP.  His last post is his completely unbiased (his words, not mine) rundown of the NFC this year.

Sean, we have a big crew hitting the Borgata on August 6th.  Wit me?

Go check out Boy Genuis' post about the next BG / Pauly wager.  Everyone can participate.

Felicia has a couple nice tournament writeups in her most recent post.

Of course, the blogfather is back with another semi-monster.


Since the patron saint of poker blogging has not answered my question, I will move right along with the last answers to my blogger questions.

Maudie posted her answer to my question on her blog.  Glad to hear I haven't offended her yet.

BadBlood has indeed hung the Pauly original.  Looks good to.

Johnny Flopboot puts BG as the favorite in the Poker Blogger FFL.  Good choice.

But the best answer goes to the Poker Prof.  He wanted an AlCantHang question and I hit him with a good one.  Here's his email response (posted with his permission)....

I got my 2004 press pass for the 2004 World Series of Poker when I just walked into the press room at the Horseshoe and told Nolan Dalla, public relations director for the WSOP, that I represented an Internet news service.  I have business cards that list me as a senior editor for LasVegasVegas, the web site we own and operate, and when we did a weekly news feature I was the senior editor.  I have since started the blog and post as the Poker Prof.  Nolan immediately recognized blogs as legitimate media, which they are, and issued me and my blogging crew press credentials.  We provided live coverage including hundreds of in-your-face photos of the 2004 WSOP and spent many hours at the Horseshoe everyday of the tournament.

I have a problem trying to choose one high point of the 2004 WSOP.  I suppose it would be the final minutes of the $10,000 Championship event when Raymer was heads up with Williams at the final table and security let me inside the inner barrier with nothing between me, the table and all that cash (ESPN had requested that only their people be allowed inside).  I had an opportunity to be right there for the final hands and got to take some once in a lifetime photos of the finish and post tournament interview with Greg.  I remember looking around and realizing I was the only still photographer inside, even Chris Ferguson was firing away with his point and shoot from behind the barricade.  Another high point was getting to play in the media tournament with the celebrities and realizing I was seated next to Clint Holmes whom I did eliminate.  Another of our people sat next to Penn of Penn & Teller so we had plenty to talk about at dinner that night.

I grew up in Las Vegas and have spent most of my life here with the exception of my college years so the WSOP is very special to me ( I remember going to the Horseshoe during the World Series with my Grandfather when I was in grade school).  This year was not only special but historically significant since it was the last year of the WSOP at the downtown Horseshoe Casino.  To have press credentials that allowed me total access to the tournament and to get to go to the 'Big Show' every day and hang out with the stars of the Poker was a dream come true.  The day after the WSOP ended I walked around suffering from WSOP withdrawal and depression until I realized that it is never too soon to start preparing for my coverage of the 2005 WSOP.

Great answer.  Ask a whopper question, get a whopper answer.  Thanks!  Who's scheduling the trip out for next year's WSoP?

(Now I don't want hear anymore crap about the horrible writing on this blog.  That's three of the finest paragraphs ever posted on this site.  Nevermind that I didn't write a single word of it.)


Thanks to another monster rain storm, not much happening at last night's booze-arama.  The weather scared away all the photogenic, energentic, groupies that we've come to expect.  I promise I'll work harder on Thursday.  Just for you, my dedicated reader.

Yesterday's lack of posting was a direct result of work kicking my everloving ass.  Two more nights of oncall and I'm back to normal.


I sure like to see someone with a 'can-do' attitude.  Get along lil' doggie.


If you get a chance, go check out Pauly's Truckin' blog today.  Then check out the rest on the right for some good reading.

Thanks for stopping by.


Monday, July 26, 2004

The song sure to hit #1 

I've mentioned it before, and here it is.  A local Philly band called Crystal Roxx wrote a song about me called (ironically) Al Can't Hang.  They hid the accoustic version on one of their CD's.

Enjoy.  I hope the sound quality is ok.

Here it is.


Why I like working for a German company.

LONDON (Reuters) - Germans are Europe's worst binge drinkers with almost one in five believing "the point of drinking is to get drunk," according to a survey Wednesday.


I almost quit my job.... 

Before I get into the weekend report. Check out Wil Wheaton's recent post. Iggy is contagious.


I'm exhausted. Deep down in my soul, mind numbing exhausted. Work kicked my ass this weekend (not kicked my ass like Scott got his ass kicked though), kept me from going to the bar on Friday, gave me about 5 hours of sleep, and made me miss the Phillies game yesterday. Yeah, the one where Milton had a no-hitter into the 9th. I called my manager when Milton made it into the 7th successfully and told him I was quitting if a no-hitter was thrown and I missed it. But he didn't, so I didn't.

I did, however, get to play some poker Saturday night. We played a single table NLHE tourney at FatAssBob's house with 9 players, 30 minutes levels, and rebuys for the first two levels. I promised myself that I was going to play looser during the rebuys and build up a nice stack, then tighten up and take advantage of those who don't. I wanted to put some nasty Lewey beats on Lewey himself. I don't think I did though.

I did one rebuy early then tripled up by the end of the rebuys. Tight/aggressive Al came out to play after that. I found Farally would stay in for any bet if he caught any part of the flop and used that to my advantage.

Nemesis #1, Lewey, was the second to drop out of the tourney and Nemesis #2, Mrs. CantHang did not last much longer.

Finally we were down to 4 players. Myself, Rich (friend of Bob's), Nicholas (friend Brad's stepson, another solid player from the great state of Minnesota), and The Mother-In-Law. The in-law was short-stacked and visibly irritated when I raised pre-flop (NO LIMPING!). Once she was gone, everyone left was in the money.

Three handed, I made my only three mistakes of the evening.

I called a big bet even though I was pretty sure I was second best, and I was. That cut me pretty deep.

I layed down the best hand to another big bet and he was kind enough to show me his crap cards.

Head's up, I called an all-in with my top pair against two pair.

But did I mention that I won the tournament?

The first crippled me but I made my way back up. The second mistake would have forced me all-in when I didn't think I had best. The third mistake was on the final hand and I hit my 3outer to take it all.

After getting crippled early in the 3way action, shortstacked, I found 66 in the hole and pushed all-in. Nicholas (Mr. BigStack at that point), called with AJ. When no help hit the board, I doubled up.

During the head's up action, being behind in chips around 2 to 1, I pushed in with 99. Rich was holding two overcards and I won another coin flip to grab the chip lead.

2 hours of tedious head's up action later, while we were discussing a deal, I called with K8. Flop comes out K-7-2. Rich immediately pushes all-in and I called. He flips over K2 for two pair. If he wins the hand, we're dead even in chips and it could go on forever. As I'm about to mention a deal again, my miracle 8 hits the turn and the tourney is over.

It felt good to play solid poker for the first time in weeks. And you know what? I was drinking.


Al + Sobriety = Bad Poker.

I didn't give the loose/passive players a chance to lay any bad beat by making it too expensive for even them to chase. I didn't give loose/aggressive Lewey a chance to push me around.

Overall, I'm very happy with the way I played and it felt good.

Did I mention that I beat Mrs. CantHang?


Has everyone gone and voted for Al in the "Name my Twins" poll? Go now, I want this very much.


It has recently been written that I tend to have diarrhea of the keyboard.

SirFWALGMan recently opined...

I only have a few hours to goof off Al! Do not deny it, I have proof: Al Word Count (3159), Sir (2300), and my post was longer than usual, and yours was shorter!

Yes Sir, you are correct!

What you get here at AlCantHang.com is quantity over quality. My goal is hammer out as many words as possible so that by the time you finish reading, your mind is numb and you are that much dumber for the experience.

If you want quality, you should hit Pauly, Grubby, HDub, MeanGene, or Felicia. If you want quantity AND quality, go to the man himself or BoyGenius.


If you haven't read yet, the Poker Penguin is moving on.  "Hibernating" as he put it.  He's heading to the mountains and it sounds like a blast.

Good luck Mr. Penguin, have fun with the hotties.  Happiness, what an odd concept.


How many words so far? No idea.

Thanks for stopping by.