Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Off we go once again 

From the ether in between
December 2009

Dropping one last note before jumping on a plane Thursday morning. While you are waiting for 200 bloggers to return with their tales of debauchery, you can still follow along semi-live 140 characters at a time. Several big names (plus my puny self) will be firing off their experiences into the internet airways via their Twitter accounts.

I've listed a few below to follow but the two best ways would probably be Gracie's WPBT follow list or just search for anything with a #WPBT tag.


I got lazy after just 8 links, go use the WPBT follow list and we'll be square.

It won't be long before I'll board USAir flight 435 to Las Vegas (does that sound like a crashing number? Can you hear a broadcaster saying "USAir flight 435 is down somewhere over a desolate flyover state"?) If these are my last words than let's go with

"He just wanted to preform The Procedure one more time."


"I'd like to order one large pepperoni pizza...."


Monday, December 07, 2009

Surviving Las Vegas 

'burbs of Philly
December 2009

Hells yeah, it's about time to shut this god damn laptop down and head west. Back to Vegas without worrying about covering a poker tournament, playing "dodge the lemur", or tracking down narcissistic players. There is even a possibility that I'll hop on that plane Thursday morning without my trusty computer companion. I spent the weekend working out my liver with the old Boathouse crew, plenty of triple Soco's and late night/morning bed times. I even warmed up some of my worst pick up lines for the occasion. It would be appropriate to feel honored should I use one of them on you.

I still have a shit-ton of stuff to get done for the real jobby bloggy over the next two days. Luckily I have plenty of time to get it done since my sleep schedule has been whittled down to crashing around 4am and waking back up at 7am. I'm beginning to feel damn near the insomnia level of the Good Doctor.

I mentioned in my last post that Pauly generally posts a list of tips for those heading to Vegas for the first time, especially if it's during the yearly donking of the bloggers. I'm glad to see he's not only re-posted the list but has added to it.

First my short little list of Do's and Don't's (how does one properly punctuate that line?):
- DO play Pai Gow at some point. Don't be intimidated, it's a piece of cake. There will likely be a few blogger dominated tables each night.

- DO play craps at the Casino Royale. There's a very good chance I'm going to get wasted at the IP on Thursday night and walk down the block for the game. $5 craps with 100 times odds. Can't be beat on the strip. I started playing the game at the first blogger gathering. "Press it Kenneth!" - BobbyBracelet

- Do play the IP dealer-tainer video roulette if a blogger "game" starts off. Especially if Freddie Mercury is on stage.

- DO drink freely. That doesn't necessarily mean try to keep up with me, but you should enjoy yourself with a cocktail or twelve. An hour.

- DO walk up to any damned blogger you see and introduce yourself. Chances are I'll be in the middle of buying my 1000th round of shots so join right in.

- DO NOT take a picture of Iggy and post it on the internet. That takes away at least two hours of my life just talking him off the ledge.

- DO NOT sleep unless you absolutely have to do it. You'll have plenty of time to sleep when you crawl your hungover ass back to Pennsyl-tucky or whatever flyover state in which you reside.

- DO NOT get rolled by a hooker. Dr. Pauly covers this little bit, but I feel the need to personally restate the obvious. However, if it does happen DO tell everyone about it because it will make for a fine story/blog post.

- DO NOT miss the mix games at the MGM and the subsequent drunken mess at the sportsbook around the corner. This has become one of the best impromptu places to gather and bullshit.

- Finally, DO NOT be offended if your real name slips my memory. I have a long history of alcohol abuse and my brain is sketchy remembering names of those I've known for decades.
Now that I've completed my tiny list, you should go immediately to Pauly and read his tips for Vegas. Print them out, memorize them, live them, love them. They will save your life in the end. And don't forget Tip #34.

Invading Las Vegas Tips Reprise by Dr. Pauly