Friday, May 15, 2009

Death Before Vegas 

The last few days I've been getting my ass killed by some nasty little flu that's destroying my mind. No silly jokes about the swing flu (although everyone is making funny with my love of bacon) but just a good ol' fashioned head pounding cold. Before last night I hadn't had a cigarette in well over a week and my alcohol intake shrank to next to nothing. I made up for it last night by hitting up the Boathouse with BigMike for an old timer drinking showdown. Huge shots and carefree conversation with old friends was the perfect cure to make me forget about the flu.

It also gave me a chance to relax before the craziness in Vegas.

I'll spend the weekend getting together with my friends in the area before disappearing again into the unknown. I'll drink too much and smoke too much and scam on every girl in my line of sight. I'll play a little poker and talk bullshit. I may even do something completely against my nature and have a good time. It'll be a stretch.

I'll drag the camera around and see what I can find for you.


Tomorrow I'll play in the Pokerlistings.com Run-Good Challenge: WSoP Edition with a bunch of bloggers in a winner take all freeroll. I'm not exactly sure how big the field will be but you should stop by and rail if you can the chance. I will be the lowest rated blogger for sure. The game is Saturday at 14:00ET on Poker Stars under the private tab.


Only a few tournaments left to earn your place in the BBT4 Tournament of Champions. Sunday is the small buyin Brit Blogger game which is one of the best chances to get in. Smaller buyin and smaller fields. See you there.

Tournament: Brit Blogger Game
When: Sunday's at 16:00ET
Game: NLHE
Buyin: $5+.50
Password: donkament


The Daily Crutch

Since I'll be spending the next two months in the company of Pauly Drama (copyright TheRooster) and figured I'd give you 5 pics of my favorite Entourage girl, Emmanuelle Chriqui. I love a girl that can rock a wife beater.


Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Blog Chop Suey 

I haven't done this in awhile and it's one of my favorite blogger-related activities. It's time to take a weed whacker to my blog list over there on the right. Dead, dying, stagnant blogs are about to see the recycle bin. It's not really that big of a deal, the dead and rotting blogs are long gone and won't get upset about losing a tiny spot on a now insignificant site.

I'll try to load up some links on the list that I now have in bloglines and keep my interest. I'll just randomly toss them in and see what happens. There is no method to my madness, the only spots that'll never change are those at the top.

You think you make the cut, drop a line.


Gracie, SSP and friends made a trek down to the Kennedy Space Center to watch the Spaceshuttle Atlantis launch. Check out her post for a shit-ton of pictures and stories. They definitely got better pictures this time then when I was in Gainesville.

"Look! A really bright star!"
"Nope, that's the rocket launching from 5000 miles away."

Gracie tells me the kid in the picture below was distracted by ice cream. I know the kids feeling.


The Daily Crutch

Here's how this damn thing usually happens. I'm a pig. I'm generally chatting with other like-minded pigs about piggy things. Someone says something and a dirty switch clicks in my head and the picture searches begin.

Today's smut is brought to you courtesy of Riggs. He got a look at on of the Michelle Ryan pics and said "that little underboob is GOLD!" So you know what you get today. What I didn't show below was the creepy animation, cartoon, and WTF underboob pics. All safe for work, just really weird. It was tough to settle on just five, but here you go.

Underboob pro lucror.

"I really love soccer" underboob

"Where's my breakfast?" underboob

"Just something about her" underboob

"Weekly Daddy asian girl" underboob

"Well hello!" underboob

Bonus: My next "girlfriend"


Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Get Me Outta Here 

Good god damn, nobody prepared me for ALL the crap I'm going to deal with leading up to Vegas, at least not the shit I've got going on over the last 48 hours. At this point I can't wait to get there so all I have to deal with is poker and work and booze and staying alive, staying alive. I'm getting Vegas extra early so I can hit my standard Vegas first 36-hour-raging-solo-bender before settling down for work.

The worst part of living in Key West is elminating my natural (ingrained, habitual, junkie) need to drink every drop available and bring the party. That can't happen over my two months in town so I'll need to get it out of my system early.


My apologies to the micro-limit button masher and push monkeys that I've been ragging on over at Poker From the Rail. They are naturally the lowest form of bad on the planet, but I got a little view into the play of those idiots at 10/20 LHE. Dr.Pauly was doing a hit and run so I silently railed to check the action. I can't LET anyone know I'm on the rail, I am the worst cooler on the planet.

It was the dumbest 10 minutes of online poker I've ever witnessed. I saw so many stunningly bad plays that I think I'm ready to bankroll Waffles in the game, it's right in his wheelhouse.


Tonight is the crown jewel in the weekly blogger games, the beloved Mookie game with deep stacks, big fields and almost witty banter. Pauly won, I won, The Blogfather ran deep. Who's going to carry the flag for us old fart poker bloggers who remember the day when Iggy had to beg sites to let us run a private game.

I want 100 players. Not a request.

Tournament: The Mookie
When: Wednesday's at 22:00Et
Game: Deepstack NLHE
Buyin: $10+1
Password: vegas1


The Daily Crutch - UK Edition

I never saw the new version of the Bionic Woman before it was canceled but apparently the chippy on the show was something else. I accidentally ran across a few of her pics the other day and figured it was worth sharing. Oh, she's a Brit and has been on Doctor Who for a bonus.

I couldn't decide between the picture about or this one. So yous gets both.


The Daily Crutch 

Julius the Goat pings me this morning and tells me I've been banging it up pretty well lately with the pictures. I feel the need to explain to him that the cutie pics are just the crutch of a weak-ass writer who isn't good enough to get things down in words but smart enough to do something to keep the masses appeased until something interesting comes around.

Yeah, nothing interesting today either. Perhaps once I jump a plane to Vegas things might start to liven up just a little.

Til then I sit back and wait for insanity to hit me. Ironing out all the details like travel and room and liquid fun money. I'm still trying to get my head around that I'll be spending 8 weeks in the Nevada desert with a town full of degenerates and drunks. Actually, it sounds just like my kind of place. Mardi Gras sans whimsy.

Pauly, Otis and other friends have been cool enough to give this hippy a little advice on his first full series. It's even money that I'll survive, I've already booked my return to Key West to recoup.


On a quick note, congrats to the Otis Family on the healthy arrival of Dos into the world. It looks like everything went smooth as silk with Mom, Dad and both brothers doing just fine.


It seems there just isn't enough dead money running around in WSoP freerolls this year. After missing out of the first two, Matt Showell from PokerListings.com invited me to join the Run-Good Challenge:WSoP Edition with a bunch of your favorite bloggers. Looking at the list I'm probably the longest shot on the board somewhere in the neighborhood of 300-1 odds.

But I'll play just for the chance to tilt monkey with some of my friends and favorite bloggers. I'll try not to embarrass myself along the way. The first tournament is this coming Saturday at 2pm ET on Poker Stars for anyone who wants to rail.


My other WSoP freeroll, of course, is the BBT4 Tournament of Champions. I've never been in this position before of being really happy to see BBT4 final tables now with players who've already booked there spot in the ToC. That means one less player I nee to donk my way through or more equity for my lone win. Donkey-killer Jordan won his THIRD tournament during the challenge last night. God damn.

You'll notice that the leaderboard isn't updated today. I made a critical error in judgment and I'm in the process of recreating the last few tournaments thanks to a backup mistake and not enough booze in my daily diet.

Everyone should show up tonight for the Blogger Skillz Game. Not quite as fun as Four Card Bingo, but this week is old school H.O.R.S.E. for your $11 buyin. I suspect there will be more than the usual share of chat cursing. If I gave anyone 500-1 odds on Waffles to win it tonight, would anyone actually take it or is that a bad price?

Tournament: Blogger Skillz Game
When: Tuesday's at 21:30ET
Game: H.O.R.S.E. (with Knockouts)
Buyin: $10+1
Password: skillz


The "Now" Daily Crutch

This might become a regular feature for The Boy Genius since I found a boatload of the lovely Laetitia Casta.

How did I miss Rachel Hunter in my MILF post yesterday?
I owe several more of her down the line.

I don't think I did justice to Salma Hayek yesterday so I'm adding another.

A thought a little reminder was due. Remember when Nikki Cox was stunning?
This was before she turned into some Daffy Duck-like monster.

Holy crap, a picture from just the neck up! Adriana Lima is worth it.


Monday, May 11, 2009

Riverchasers Tournament 

Waffle's new girlfriend (blind?) would like to remind you to play in the Riverchasers game tonight on Full Tilt. Only a few games left in BBT4 and spots are getting scarce.

Tournament: PPI / Riverchasers Tournament
When: Monday's at 22:00ET
Game: Deepstack NLHE
Buyin: $24+2 or token
Password: riverchasers


Mike Matusow: Check-Raising the Devil review 

“Daniel Negreanu says the players today are harder to read because they play so many hands. Maybe they’re better now. Or maybe they’re just tougher to read because they’re a bunch of idiots who don’t know what they are doing. Nobody folds now. They think every raise is a bluff.”

Mike Matusow: Check-Raising the Devil
Everyone around the poker blogging world should know by now the Amy Calistri and Tim Lavalli worked on the Mike Matusow autobiography coming out tomorrow. They were nice enough to get an advance copy sent in my direction so I could get a head start and post a review on the Full Tilt blog. Naturally I wrote it up and planned to drop it right before the book was available to the public. I waited too long because it's now out there in most book stores and Amazon shipped early.

Dr. Pauly was the first out there with a review and I've added my small voice to the discussion. Feel free to check it out.

Dr. Pauly - Check-Raising the Devil: The Mike Matusow Autobiography
Poker From the Rail - Mike Matusow: Check-Raising the Devil (Autobiography)

Amy and Dr. Tim also put out what was originally the opening chapter which was later cut.

Tim Lavalli - Matusow Chapter One
Amy Calistri - The Matusow Book: The Crossroads


Apparently something crazy happened on that Celebrity Apprentice show. Thank god Riggs was there last night to IM me the details, I was much too busy watching downloaded episodes of The West Wing season 2. I've never been subtle about my disdain for all things "reality" TV or "scripted reality" TV or whatever the fuck they call it these days. The only thing I've ever watched was Top Chef, and that's because I'm a lard ass who loves him some food. It seems Botox-zilla said some disparaging things about all us Nobel Peace Prize winning poker players.

I think it's almost adorable that people actually thought Annie Duke had a shot at winning. People getting all hot and bothered over a reality TV show where a leveraged-out-his-ass weirdo is the "final" judge. Duke could have raised 100 times Rivers for her charity and ran like god but there was no way she was going to be the poster child for an NBC show. The Twat-erverse is alive with calls for poker players to boycott Trump casino properties and other such non-sense. I guess they don't know Trump hates his casinos.

God I can't wait to spend 8 weeks in Las Vegas, I'm currently taking shrink referrals.


In honor of Mother's Day, I'll put up of few pics for your enjoyment.

She may not be a mother in real life, but she's given a brief moment of glory as the mother of Captain James T. Kirk in the new Star Trek movie. ZOOM IN!

I had a choice between two pics. Riggs wanted the one about. The other choice was this one.

Mookie's selection for the list. He should know about mothers.

Please god don't click on the picture for the full size version. Tough choice, The Superficial has the rest of the pics.

Scarlett Johanson isn't a mother yet? So sue me.