Thursday, July 31, 2008

"Child Bankrupts Make a Wish Foundation with Wish For Unlimited Wishes" 

Some of this stuff you would think I made up on the fly. The clip below from The Onion is funny enough on it's own, even better when you know how I found out about it last night. Just the premise of the story would let anyone with common sense know it was a joke even if it wasn't on their site. "Child Bankrupts Make a Wish Foundation with Wish For Unlimited Wishes" Seriously, who could think that was real. Well apparently a friend of ours (hiding safely behind her anonymity) thought the story was for real and wasn't that just a crying shame that this evil child was killing such a fine institution. The rest of us have had a fine 48 hours giving her the proper response, unbridled laughter.

Unfortunately for our society, enough people thought it was real that Snopes.com even had to put a post up about it. May god have mercy on our souls. I kind of think showing the kid playing cards with Darth Vader might have been a tipoff.

1 Pirate ship
1 "Real life" F14 Tomcat
Face carved on Mt. Rushmore
3 Trips to outer space
5 personal robot servants
138 hot dog lunches with Johnny Damon
All Batmobile EVER
(my personal favorite)

Child Bankrupts Make-A-Wish Foundation With Wish For Unlimited Wishes

RSS readers click through here


A belated happy birthday to my boy Brad living out in the Minnesota wilderness. Hope you had a good one my friend.



I'm slowing starting to get back into the swing of things are far as poker. I'm far behind in proper work that needs to be completed and poker definitely has taken a back seat. I can't tell you the last time I actually played in a blogger tournament including my own Thursday night game. Tonight I get back on the horse with the Riverchaser game. I've really let my little Thursday night tourney go to shit, next week I'll probably throw another small wrinkle in there. Maybe put some big bounties on Riggs and Waffles, probably just add a bunch of money to the prizepool. Who knows what my farged up head will come up with.

Hope to see you there tonight.

Tournament: Riverchasers Online Tour
When: Thursday, 21:00ET
Game: Deepstack NLHE
Buyin: $10+1
Password: riverchasers


Wednesday, July 30, 2008

More pros and cons 

I've found some definite pros and cons to quiting a real world job and doing nothing but online work. The most obvious con is losing access to the internet. Naturally that has a negative impact on everything. I'll have that problem fixed when a bouncing baby laptop lands on my door in the next several days.

Another con is day time TV. I've completely run out of crappy DVR'd shows to put on in the back ground and now forced to listen to regular day time TV or one of the music channels. God help me that I know now that the Backstreet Boys have reunited. I could have gone my entire life without every knowing that.

One very big pro is the pants situation. Not once since quitting my day job have I been seen wearing anything other than shorts. Even my week long binge at the pub required that comfy feel. Friday I actually ventured out of the house in jeans. Long pants, looking like a human being. Doesn't mean I acted like one, just looked similar.

Sunday afternoon I found myself doing some unplanned barhopping around my neighborhood. It was a great day outside and it seemed like a great idea. I was sitting at a different bar having an interesting conversation with a stunning blond 21 year old. The fact that she was talking to a monster like me wasn't the stunning part.

This outstanding example of God's perfection sat next to me quoting chapter and verse of just about every top poker book on the planet. Thank god she never got around to reading Pressure Poker or I'd probably be winging my way to Vegas to get remarried. Running into an attractive girl who knows poker in Vegas isn't strange at all, even in Atlantic City you can find the occasional skank who can talk the talk. But here in my little backwater suburb it just doesn't happen that often.

So I did what I do best. Stared at her cleavage, sat around listening to her while nodding at all the right spots (who says marriage didn't train me for something) while pouring drinks down her throat. I think I just might have an appointment with the Borgata poker room some time in the near future with guest. Stupid booze fog makes that questionable.


From ScubaSteve

Planning for the Bash is just about complete. Just waiting on some flyers from the printers and making some hotel arrangements. There was an inquiry from a girl throwing a huge bachelorette party that very same evening. Looks like we're going to have a bus full of drunken randy women adding to the ambiance. I warned them that The Rooster would be in town but they didn't even flinch. They'll probably be more excited when they find out that Otis is a confirmed attendee to the party.

Start making those travel plans. Tons of poker and booze plus your favorite blogger friends.



Sunday, July 27, 2008

This Week in Booze 

Just a small peak behind the curtain at the bar early Saturday morning, after all the mouth breathers were out of the pub. Terri Queen of the Bartenders was restocking the bar and got a look at the "booze room". I asked her to lock me in there for 10 minutes to see what kind of damage I could do. Something like one of those cash games where the wind blows the bills around and you get to keep what you catch. Only in the case the ending would be a lot more fun. She politely declined my request stating that their insurance premiums might go up when I died. I did get to snap a quick pic of the Soco bottles in backup for the rest of the weekend.

This week was rough without any real internet access. It's incredibly tough to get things done with my new gig when my best option is finding the local coffee house / internet cafe. Since I knew it was going to be pain in the ass I decided to sink myself back in the fun life of a professional drinker. Saturday night was the first of the week where I couldn't be found being the very last person walking out of the pub following the ugly light activation. Some of those nights were spent looped out of my gourd and others were more sane.

Tuesday night was an unplanned start to the festivities. I hadn't been able to hang out with BigMike for over a week. It was a relatively calm evening without any serious wackos showing up but I spent a lot of time and money getting everyone tuned up. One of those fine evenings hanging out with friends pushing the limits of social drinking, next thing you know it's last call and all the normal people are safely tucked in their beds getting ready for proper work the next day.

Wednesday involved the bar, the movies, the bar. The one upside of being walking distance to the pub and working from home is having the chance to go there whenever the hell I want. Knowing that I was going to see Hellboy2 later in the evening prompted me to hit the road early for a little pre-gaming. I assumed a little booze-up ahead of the movie could only help the experience. After the movie it was only natural to head back to the bar to discuss over many beverages. And another last call.

Thursday things got interesting. BigMike purchased tickets to catch The Dark Knight in IMAX that night. Once again pre-gaming was called for but I didn't plan to tie one on because I really wanted to see this movie. Best laid plans and all that rubbish. I was fairly ok when leaving for the show because knew I'd be fine, there would plenty of time to sober while standing in line. The crew we left behind, on the other hand, were at the front end of a big bender. Moments before walking there was a bar full of carbombs and jager bombs.

With only an hour left til last call, we walked back into the bar straight into a shit storm of drunkenness. I finally saw the Thursday night chaos through sober eyes and it was stunning. Everyone was feeding off each other to the point where the bartenders couldn't keep up with the shot requests. I never really considered what could happen if some poor fool decided to sing Bohemian Rhapsody in a bar full of raging lunatics. Standing outside I witnessed a girl with a pin cushion face sit down on the curb, projectile vomit then turn back to continue making out with her girl friend. There was a girl sitting at the bar wearing a red Soco wife beater (I really dig girls who can pull off the wife beater look), I raised my shot and said "you should give me your shirt". Without even blinking she stripped out of the shirt and tossed it across the bar to me. Being a chivalrous man I gave it back and told her she should get dressed.

But I am definitely adding that line to my arsenal.


Don't forget to sign up for Dr. Pauly's 5th year anniversary poker tournament with a sweet grand prize to the Borgata Poker Open Main Event. It should be a huge field with all your favorite bloggers and friends for a small entrance fee of $5. And as Change100 points out, "This should be a fun one and you don't have to write a ghey essay in order to win!"