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Thursday, May 29, 2008

I'm a moron! 

"...only morons play that game (Limit Omaha) over the long term I would guess."

Hoyazo - Omadraw, and the Mookie
I suppose it was only a matter of time before Hoy called me a moron. Most everyone else has felt the brunt of his words. Today must be my turn. Sure, he's not calling me specifically a moron and I might have cut a few dozen lines between the start and stop but I'm a moron.

It's not a great secret that my favorite poker variation and certainly my most profitable would be Limit Omaha/8. The great thing about LO8 is when you find players who take his attitude towards the game and the chips start sliding your way. I'm waiting for the guys who are calling bets when they are on shit draws that when they get there I'm better.
With four cards in everyone's hand, the number of draws in this game is sick. On the flop especially with two cards to come, you're getting frigging 10 to 1 or better to call in most situations in most games. 10 to 1 or better to call? You might as well chase with every stoopid flush draw (even 6-high) and two-pair draw (i.e., just a pair of 5s or something) for at least one bet on the flop. Everybody might as well chase on the flop.
That's exactly the player I want sitting at my LO8 table, the ones thinking about calling those bets on their baby flush draws or two pair. Those players are always going to lose when they constantly throw that "one bet" into the pot over and over again with practically zero chance of winning the hand even if it hits. It's a game that takes patience but in the end you can make a nice chunk of change if you can find the tables full of the NLHE push-pray monkies who have no self control or feel for the game.

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Holy crap, since I actually wrote a half dozen words about poker I might as well point you to the press release from Ultimate Bet concerning the cheating scandal that's going down. Yes, they could see your hole cards.
The fraudulent activity was enabled by unauthorized software code that allowed the perpetrators to obtain hole card information during live play. The existence of this vulnerability was unknown to Tokwiro until February 2008 and existed prior to UltimateBet's acquisition by Tokwiro in October 2006. Our investigation has confirmed that the code was part of a legacy auditing system that was manipulated by the perpetrators. Gaming Associates, independent auditors hired by the KGC, have confirmed that the software code that provided the unfair advantage has been permanently removed.
Nat Arem also has a 10 question followup with Ultimate Bet, taken with a grain of salt since he's working with them on their security.

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Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Bacon Porn 

I don't want everyone to have the impression that my entire existence is based solely on booze and the occasional glance at naked flesh, I will on occasion spend some time lounging around the house or experimenting with food. I'm definitely not BoyGenius or Astin in the kitchen but I'm no stranger to epicurean escapades. I've done some decent work behind the stove top and this weekend I went old school.

Mary Bacon Bikini, winner of my "essay" contest and member in the Bacon of the Month club, was kind enough to bring down 2 pounds of cured pork flesh last month for my pleasure. It's a hell of a woman who will give up her stash of bacon. My plan for the weekend was simple. Find a good morning where I could spend a little quality time making my belly happy and my arteries clog just a little bit more.

I did nothing fancy with this feast. I wasn't going to wrap it around a delicate fillet of Tilapia or find some foo foo way to use it. It would be steak, eggs and bacon. Here's what thick cut, hickory-smoked looks like before hitting the hot skillet, sitting in the hot skillet (oh may god bless the holy bacon fat) and the aftermath. With the bacon complete is was time for the eggs. Every good fat man who likes his steak and eggs knows that best way to fry up those chicken embryos is to use that very same bacon fat that's left over. And there's quite a bit of it left over after frying two pounds. Just drop those eggs gently into the hot grease and let the magic happen.

It takes about 30 seconds to get the eggs just properly done over-easy, runny and dippy like every good heartattacker likes it. The edges get all nice and crispy, the yolks bust with a whisper and that poor two-inch-thick top sirloin cut is covered in fatty greatness. It was a breakfast fit for the gods. Fat and happy, my friends, is my motto and the way I go through life.

You may be wondering to yourself right about now, where the hell are the shots of the plate piled high with different stages of animal undress? When I finished up cooking everything was ready to eat. So I did. Never even once considered stopping to take any more pictures. Call me selfish if you'd like.

There is also the question as to why in the hell I would fry up two pounds of bacon just for myself. I wasn't entirely truthful about not going fancy with the bacon. I do have some other pictures to share but you'll have to wait. In the last few weeks people have sent me emails detailing some crazy bacon shit going on (Willie the Wise and UWannnaBet started the onslaught). There are people out there selling CHOCOLATE COVERED BACON. No lie. Bacon and chocolate. Whoever heard of such a thing. I tempered some premium milk chocolate and began with the bacon dipping.

But I'm saving those pictures all for myself. Maybe I'll post the other pics later.

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The final Mookie of the BBT3 Challenge kicks off tonight at 10pmET with 3k double stacks and knockout bounties. I expect a monstrous field which may not get down to the winner until early Thursday morning.

Be sure to tune into Buddy Dank and company this evening as he celebrates his one year anniversary of blogger broadcasting. Should be a great time.

Tomorrow night for Riverchasers will be Pot Limit Omaha/8 just to give Drizz one last chance to qualify for the TOC.

Cheers.

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Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Surprise visits always welcome 



In honor of Cindy Crosby and his ongoing attempts to perfect the dive. The gents who developed NHL'08 game know what's going on. Click here for RSS readers.


I can post this youtube clip now that MeanGene is on his way to the WSoP and won't be reading anything around here for awhile. It's been a god awful boring first two games of the Stanley Cup Finals and I'm realizing there was a very good reason I didn't watch the sport post-strike. I'll stick with baseball, football and proper football.

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We had some special guests this weekend. BigMike and I entertained the wonderful couple of BamBam and Pebbles this Saturday at the Pub. They made a surprise dash across the border looking for invisible internet friends and vast amounts of weakass US beer. Bam's initial idea was to floor me by calling for a dial-a-shot then come walking in the door as I ordered from the bartender. Unfortunately for him, I'm rarely kept out of the loop when there are important people coming in my area. I had everything set up for a reverse BAM, the managers, bouncers and bartenders were all set for this mystery guy to walk into the bar and camp out in on my barstool. At that point his ass was going to get thrown out of the Pub in a most spectacular fashion.

Too bad neither of our plans worked out. He called, I got a shot then saw him walking through the door with a big smile on his face. No matter, we drank well and they were able to experience how the majority of my nights go. Drinks at the bar and conversations with good friends. No rockstar-groupie craziness or even CK lap dances. We just took over my side of the bar and exercised the bartenders chops at regular intervals.

There was the one minor moment where something really interesting could have gone down. Our area was invaded by two cougar-ish women, one pretty goddamn hot and the other looked like my dead grandmother (and I mean how she looks now, not the moment she croaked). Hot little cougar girl was sampling beers and paying no mind to the fact that she plopped her ass in the middle of four people holding a conversation. Stifler's Mom then got a look at BamBam and her target was acquired. She wanted a piece of his action. Naturally the only one who picked up on this was Pebbles because the guys were too busy drinking and smoking. Whatever Pebbles did, and I still have no idea what, but the MILF got the idea quickly and made her way to other hunting grounds. I think this also means Pebbles will be making the trip down for the Bash and definitely not leaving Bam alone in that target rich environment without a way to defend himself.

Always a great time hanging those guys, hopefully I'll be able to drink some more with them before the Bash. If not we'll just have to pour through the drinks with greater urgency.

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The clock is running out on the Battle of the Blogger Tournaments. Last night was the final MATH tourney of the challenge with 63 runners and first time TOC seat winner Bone_Daddy84 taking it down. Tonight is Skills Game featuring PotLimit Hold'em, suckouts and mini-rants.

I'm glad to see the worst poker player finally admitting that he has absolutely no idea how to play this game. Good for you Waffles, I'm proud that you've realized that you have no business ever sitting down to a poker table. You will be missed but at least we now know that you won't go completely broke and mortgage your kidney. Good luck in your future endeavors where you won't have to pretend to know what you're doing.

See everyone at the tables tonight.

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The Good Doctor has been pointing a lot of people over to the new post up on 2+2 Forums detailing the previous scandal with Absolute Poker and the growing evidence against Ultimate Bet. I've never played on AB but I closed my UB account awhile ago. I still can't believe I see intelligent players and even some bloggers just shrug their shoulders and continue to play on these sites.

I'll be interested to see if our blogger friends, who will spend the next 7 weeks covering the WSoP, can pull any kind of comment from Hellmuth about the situation. I don't expect the main stream media to give spider fart but maybe our boys/girls can get something solid.

UB Cheating Scandal: Notes from the Underground - Tao of Poker
Superusers and Silence: How UltimateBet let players get cheated for millions - Steven Ware and Cornell Fiji

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