Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Open For Business 

And we're back.

This comeback post is being written absolutely against the wishes of counsel. And that's not legal counsel, that's my favorite chuckleheads who ride shotgun on the barstools next to me while I duck every possible excuse to spend any time at home. They'd prefer I keep my big yap shut and my head low. You know I wasn't going to keep quiet for very long. I'd like to welcome a few new readers out there. Sit back, enjoy and feel free to click on my sponsors over there on the right to help pay my immense therapy bills.

The following is 100% pure fiction.

To say my last few weeks have been interesting would be a drastic understatement. Unfortunately the true Hollywood story will never reach the wires unless it's in my obituary or I hit the powerball (hell, I've got to have better odds at winning the lottery than Waffles winning a tourney and see what happened to him). I've spent the last month dealing with a half dozen situations mostly of my making, all beyond my control and none of them very pretty.

It was more of a hibernating than hiatus. I haven't read many sites and I really have no idea what's going on with inviso land other than my daily collecting of blogger game summaries and the occasional hit to CNN.com. I've subsisted on a steady diet of Red Bull, nicotine, chocolate and the odd pork rind (how is it that I've 40 years of live without once tasting these fried pieces of greatness?) which oddly enough has my huge fat ass down to human size. I've been watching the parade of lunatics through sober eyes and that really made want to get back to my only creative outlet. I'll never be consider a proper writer but some stories just need to be told.

On the other hand, there is probably a large chunk of people out there who were happy to see me go. Exactly how many drunken stories about loose women and degenerate gamblers are readers forced to endure?

I've had some pretty damned low moments over the last 4 weeks but also some decent moments. I power through the bad times and revel in the good ones with a fine collection of friends and good clean living. I've spent very little time online and even less playing poker. It's been rough sitting back watching all the juicy games go around and not getting my piece of the action. That will be remedied shortly.

Thanks to everyone who sent emails and called to make sure I was still kicking (except for the person who anonymously sent the number for the suicide hotline, that was a little cold). I'm still here and I'm getting back into the mix, not sure about the frequency or quality but you're stuck with me.


The BBT3 rolled along quite nicely without me. I haven't read any of the tournament summaries but I did see the disturbing fact that Waffles is probably going to win a $2k seat for the month of April and I'm dismayed. Do none of the players in these events have any dignity? It's Waffles for christsake! The worst poker player on the planet.

And who the heck is wormmsu? He/she only played two tournaments during April and won them both. Must be another Lucko ringer.

It will probably be another week before I'm ready to hop back into the games because just about every night this week will be spent finishing up the planning for the charity poker game this weekend. For that game, everyone who can make it to my tiny 'burg is welcome to join us. I already know that a certain bacon-bikini-clad temptress will be making the trek down from NYC to throw some cards and cook up some bacon. It will be my first chance to taste something for them Bacon of the Month Club.

Where: Tyler James Pub. 212 Bridge St, Phoenixville PA 19460
When: Sunday May 4th. Registration starts at 2pm, tournament around 3pm
Game: Deepstack NLHE with rebuy/addon
Buyin: $30 buyin / $30 rebuys / $30 addon
Prizes: email for details

Tournament: MATH
Where/when: Full Tilt Poker, Monday 22:00ET
Game: NLHE 6-Max
Buyin: $24+2 or Tier I token
Password: hammer

Tournament: Blogger Skills Series
Where/when: Full Tilt, Tuesday 21:30ET
Game: Rotation between non-NLHE games
Buyin: $12+1
Password: skillz

Tournament: The Mookie
Where/when: Full Tilt, Wednesday 22:00et
Game: Deepstack NLHE
Buyin: $10+1
Password: vegas1

Tournament: Riverchasers Online Tour
Where/when: Full Tilt, Thursday 21:00ET
Game: Bi-weely rotation of NLHE and non-HE games
Buyin: $10+1
Password: riverchasers

Be sure to check out Buddy Dank radio at the Borgata, a nice little adventure for the boys and I can't wait to see what great new things they're up to. Of course they will still be broadcasting live during the blogger games as well.