Friday, January 04, 2008

Good bless them, every one 

"I hate what we've created."
You have to admit one thing about our Riverchasers games each week. They are chock full of dead money just filling up a prizepool waiting to be snatched. You just have to be very good at video poker, close your eyes and pray. It's not really difficult to gather chips, you just need to moderately hit your flop and you'll get called down with air. Steals and moves are irrelevant as things such as $VPIP and position mean nothing to those who don't take them into account. Cold decking is just something you have to sit back and take while the field drops like Waffle's jaw at a free-for-all buffet.

92 runners last night. That's a crazy number for a non-BBT event these days. I only imagine that people are flush with their 2008 welfare checks and food stamps. Time for a little yahtzee!

I picked up chips here and there with some flops and some weak play by others. I was cruising along down to 2 or 3 tables when I ran into the classic RC play. Player limps UTG, I pop it up with AK in the BB, UTG pushes with Q8. The Level 8 limp/push play. Crying call of the lemur #3 is "but they were sooooted". My flopped Ace goes down in flames to Queens up. Just a stumbling block. Then a BB walk with AA, lose a big coin flip and I've gone from player to spectator.

Good times as always. Next week's Riverchasers game is Deepstack Limit Omaha/8. That should take approximately 12 hours to complete. But donkey chips taste like tears.


I think I'm finally over the disappointment of not being able to take up the offer from FTP to drag my ass down to Australia. For two weeks. Winter here, summer there. Maybe I'm not quite over it but mass quantities of booze should take edge off. Who even knows if I would have survived 2 weeks down there with Pauly and crew trying to destroy my liver one shot at a time.

Here's hoping April, Dawn and Mary have a blast. Rip the country apart like you are my little ambassadors of drunken stupidity. I want pics.

Good luck to jeciimd as he represents the BBT players in the Aussie Millions Main Event, make us proud.


I'll spend the weekend watching the bowls and NFL playoffs from my comfy seat at the pub. Food, drinks and some donkey poker are all lined up. Cheers all, go Jaguars!

Steely McBeam for MeanGene. Blatantly stolen from the700Level


The Squirter by Paul McGuire
Joey was the cream of the crop circa 1992. But now her looks have started to fade and she's slumming in the afternoon shift. The booze perked her up a bit and she told me the horror stories about the last few days. Cowboys in town for the rodeo didn't tip and took up all the seats. They liked to look but not pay... More

2. Blackouts by Garth Elliot
Once or twice a month I experience another blackout. Usually I wake to find myself lying on my bed, still in the clothes I went out in, shoes and all. Other times I've woken up curled up in some park somewhere. More than once I have come to on a beach, usually when I am on vacation. On the rare occasion I wake up in a stranger's bed... More

3. The Ring by Johnny Hughes
Cody was a hero in the fifties. A perfect bopper. Heavy greased ducktails. The Chevy. Sandy Kay. Football. Cody peroxided his hair for the Gold Team. Cody Slaton was a James Dean impersonator long before the hoard of Elvis impersonators sought to clone the King... More

4. Vaguely Moving by Andy Harbuck
I spent precious minutes of wakefulness in the dirty restroom, contemplating buying the studded condoms for added sensation. When I got to the car and mentioned the close call to my girlfriend, she looked relieved. I'm not sure if it's the studs that scare her, or just me wanting sex... More

5. Vegas Virgin by Kajagugu
I just picked up the dice and threw them to the other side of the table. One bounce. Hit the wall. Roll back and stop. That bead of sweat now rolled right into my eye and blurred my vision. I tried to wipe my eye clean but all I could hear was a huge burst of applause and screaming and before I knew it the Texan was lifting me up in the air in a huge bear hug... More


Thursday, January 03, 2008

The rest of the weekend 

My previous makes it seem that my entire weekend was a complete waste. Nothing could be further from the truth. Just Monday night.

Saturday was spent entertaining a visit south from the Boy Wonder Genius. A full day and evening spent bullshitting at the pub, followed by pounds of raw fish flesh, finally ending back at the bar to witness Eli being Eli. That night was monumental in that the mighty BG outdrank me straight up. He was throwing back Southern like it was his mission to make up for my lack of consumption. He's a good company line boy.

Sunday was spent watching "proper football" and pointless NFL games. I compounded the day by playing completely uninspired poker throughout testing the limits of my puny laptop trying to fit as many SnG's in at once. I was tilting worse than Waffles with a bankroll. It was almost as bad as setting a rebuy record in Kat's rebuy madness Friday evening. It was a fine way to ring out a shitty year.

As is common 'round these parts I'm seeing a lot of 2007 retrospectives and goals for 2008. I won't bore you with my thoughts. I will completely ignore the 51 weeks of 2007 that bounced around between craptacular and barely scratching average. Instead I will chose to remember the one week in September that I spent a week in paradise when a couple dozen friends went out of their way to join me for my birthday. A week of bacchanalia to offset a year of borderline anti-social behaviour.

My goals for 2008 are simple. Forget 2007 and celebrate New Year's Eve next year.


Although I should have bet the Don't Pass Line early inn 2008. My momentary excitement at the prospect of hanging in Aussie-land for two weeks was replaced by the cold hard facts that it wasn't happening. Logistics-wise it just wasn't in the cards. But have no fear, the seats aren't going to waste. The first two were given up to long time blogger California NOT April and her friend. My two seats went to deserving NYC hotties Dawn Summers and Mary Mary Bacon Bikini. Hell of a couple of months for Mary, free bacon for a year and now a private plane to Australia.

While I am disappointed to not be joining my friends down under, I'm pretty excited that I'll have friends going along in my place. As long as Full Tilt keeps giving me crazy shit to give away, I'll keep passing it along.

There is a Riverchasers game tonight at 9pmET for anyone interested. For BBTwo we bumped up the Riverchaser games to once a week and we're going to keep it that way from now on with one wrinkle. Every other week will be good old fashioned NLHE push and pray poker. The opposite week will be a non-NLHE game. I think Chad was dead-on when he decided to push the non-hold'em games to expand the knowledge and abilities of the group. With the Blogger Skill game on Tuesday, there will be weeks when there are two non-NLHE games along with the MATH and Mookie.

I will post the schedule once everything is set in stone.

Cheers to all and enjoy the ASU girls throwing the shocker (props to Mister Irrelevant.


Wednesday, January 02, 2008

2007 can bite me 

2007 went out with the same whimper it began with. I spent it dutifully sipping various non-alcoholic beverages trying to keep my about me while walking through the Land of the Lost Monday evening. It's not often that I can look around a room and feel like the most normal person of the lot. It was just like every other amateur night except this one seemed to be straight out of something produced by Tarantino. Drunk idiots, drunk suicidals, drunk hoggers and their prey. I sat with my back to the wall avoiding eye contact with everyone outside of my little group. Head down, eyes forward, water in the glass.

I couldn't think of a better way to say goodbye to a year which saw me drunk most of the time, sleep walking through much of it trying to be as numb as possible. I rang in the new year in a brand new way. Somehow I became the voice of reason beneath the shouts of moronic ideas. Explaining that driving to Atlantic City at 2am on J.Johnny LawEnforcment's wet dream holiday after drinking several bottles of champagne wasn't really that brilliant an idea even if they "knew" one of the 5,000 managers at the Borgata. Alternating between beer, champagne, and Sambuca also not smart and borderline psychotic.

It's nights like this that I recall a brief conversation with Dr. Pauly in Key West. We were sitting in Teasers surround by strippers, pockets full of expendable loot, and a table full of empty shot glasses. Pauly said to me, "You know that all the readers think this is how you spend your entire life." If you only knew.

I spent my New Year's eve with the outcasts and desperate. A tweaked out crackwhore making her rounds (more likely a meth-head but crackwhore has a better ring to it) while her john sat at the bar with the 1000 yard stare. The monster at the end of the bar trying to make conversation with me making it very difficult to keep myself from reaching over the bar and chugging a bottle of the nearest hooch. The tiny midwestern boy who looked wasted, sounded mentally weak, and decided that landing the monster at the end of the bar was right in his wheelhouse. I hope he thanked his sober wing man the next morning for saving him.

When all was done, it wasn't a good night. It wasn't a bad night. It was just another night.

Fuck 2007, bring on 2008.


My apologies to anyone who called me on New year's Eve. I rarely have my phone handy and especially so on that night. Only one person gets a call from me on New Years and that's my boy Brad in Minnesota, ya. He's put up with my shit longer than anyone else. I'm not one who puts much stock in the changing of the year, it's just another day. I'll put 2007 behind like a bad dream and move on.


Quick hitter with some links and calling it a post.

- If you haven't caught it yet, Derek always has one of the best post-vacation posts. December Vegas is one of those.

- Pauly has his year in review post part 1 and part 2 as well as his video recap. Last year I was at the beginning of the video, this year I made an appearance at the end.

- Iggy posted a recap of Vegas from Johnny Hughes which shouldn't be missed.