Friday, October 12, 2007

Sundays with Dr. Pauly 

It didn't take very long but I think real life has finally sucked the last bit of island vibe I had left in my system. I desperately trying to replace it was mass quantities of alcohol and anti-social behavior. Last night at the bar was a near Road House experience. He didn't seem very drunk but some gentleman from Texas went from zero to apeshit in under 3 seconds. Brother was ready to rock and roll at the drop of a hat. Unfortunately for him, it was Blair the bartender he decided to do his crazy whack drunk guy act on.

Next thing you know there are cops and incident reports. And more drinking on my part.

So much for trying to stick with the mellow attitude for longer than a week back in the real world. Drunk stupid people piss me the fuck off.


To date I have yet to jump into the new Fantasy Sports Live site, not because I didn't want to help a few brothers out, but because I am horrid recently with anything dealing with fantasy sports. I'm in 3 fantasy football leagues and my combined record is 3-12. That's pretty god damned hard to do.

But the good doctor is kicking off a ten week run of games on the site and the degenerate in me can no longer stay away from a chance to earn some of my money back. Even though most likely I'll be at the bottom of the list.

The contests are similar to a 10 person SnG. You don't have to beat the entire site, just the 9 other people in your game. Click on the banner below, create an account, then look for the Sundays with Dr. Pauly games.


Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Random Key West notes and something else 

I think I've just about run out of big stories from my Key West trip. I have one more that I'm saving for Truckin' and the rest of the time was spent relaxing and trying to recover my soul. The stories from the other bloggers are listed in previous posts and I suggest you check them out.

Here are some random thoughts left over that never made a post.

- Friday I awoke thinking I just might have died during my birthday binge. The Roving Metrosexuals made their appearance at the compound with a special unexpected guest. The Blogfather himself made the trip to celebrate with us. Making this just a little more interesting was the fact the he chose to come party with us instead of going to the Playboy Mansion that weekend. No lie. If I was given another opportunity to go back to the Playboy Mansion that weekend, I might just have bailed on my own party. Cheers to Iggy.

- One drunken evening I started making dial-a-shot calls at 5am. No one picked up. 5am another morning I received a dial-a-shot call from a very happy Garth. I picked up and we crushered the shots.

- There's just something classic about sitting in a strip club on the very last night in Key West and watching Drizz compare inner thigh bruisers with a dancer. Inner. Thigh. Bruises. They both said it was from riding the mechanical bull but you just never know when that crazy Drizz is in town.

- Sure the Phillies may have crapped out in the playoffs but one of the great joys was watching a replay of the Mets loss on Friday night at 4am. Legs up, bottle of Lager in my hand, and the stench of NY desperation coming through the 72 inch HDTV.

- My liquid only diet for the past two weeks managed to knock over 10 pounds off my fat ass and I'm on the notch of the belt. The AlCantHang diet, hardcore booze and no food, try it. Luckily I'm back to work where I can get my large daily intake of pork products.

- I've stated it privately and now I'll state it publicly. I was completely stunned by the number of people from around the country who flew thousands of miles to some tiny island to celebrate my birthday by drinking their faces off and lap dancing their way to hell. God bless the invisible interwebs. Thank you my friends. Drinks are on me at the December blogger gathering.

- I posted a picture of my new favorite bartender yesterday not remembering that The Rooster took a picture of her the last night. Here she is posing with my favorite bottle. It didn't last very long.


Mookie will not only be throwing his weekly tournament tonight but he will also be a guest on BuddyDank radio during the tournament. Join us as I attempt to defend my Mookie title from last week. It should be titled "Lemurs Sometimes Win Invitational". Since the Puncher of Donkeys is in town I will probably be playing from the bar with too many shot in me. Getting right back on that boozy horse.

Tournament: The Mookie
When: Wednesday. 10pm ET
Game: NLHE Deepstack
Buyin: $10+1
Password: vegas1


One last thing. It may be time for you to start stocking up on those Tier I and Tier II tokens for the near future.


Tuesday, October 09, 2007

10 Good Minutes 

With all necessary props to Dr. Pauly. Not even 10 good minutes. More like "relatively decent avoiding work" minutes between the times I sit back with my eyes closed and when I actually do some work. I'd say I'm at about 5% capacity which is too much. I've tacked up a big picture from Key West right above my laptop screen where I can zone out.

This place is really trying to fuck with my island vibe of not giving a shit about anything except my next drink with feet up. I'm even avoiding pumping any music into my head that would normally keep me going. I'm staying away from the decibels and sticking with mellow and mellow.

Yesterday was the first day in a week that I left the house for something other than a smoke or to walk the SuperPuppy. I went the entire week without an alcoholic beverage with no ill effects to my psyche. After 60 minutes back in this hell and I was counting down the seconds until happy hour.

I just drank a few beers. I didn't even sniff the bottle of Soco which might seem odd to some people. I had a couple beers with my feet up on the other barstool avoiding anything resembling responsibility. Another bar patron actually watching broadcast news said "hey, did you see a 10 year old kid stole a bus and went on a police chase for 50 miles?".

I said, "who are you?" and finished off my second beer.

My only goals for today are to finish cleaning up my Truckin' story for Pauly and convincing JDub that it's a 4pm bar day.


Until then I'm just going to keep going by looking over the 100's of pictures from the Key West participants. Thank gods that everyone else had the presence of mind to snap a few pictures off, I barely remembered I had my camera along. I've loved reading everyone's take on my favorite tiny town. You were warned. Change100 has her thoughts up and finished it with my favorite line. "...smelled like stripper". Tasty.

I think it's time to plan my next trip down there. Rumor has it my friends band is in the process of booking a week at Sloppy Joe's. See you there. For anyone wondering what the hell I was doing in a country bar at 5am on my last night in Key West, here's one very good reason. She is my new favorite bartender.

Be good kids, go hug your beer and take a relaxing break on me.

10 shitty steam-pile minutes with a drunk guy desperately holding onto his mellow.


Monday, October 08, 2007

Work is for suckers 

This seriously blows goats. I've sent the same email a half dozen times.

Work is for suckers.

I wish like hell I knew how to play poker so I could do it full time.

For the first time in two weeks I awoke to an alarm clock. For the first time in two weeks I'm wearing something other than shorts (and still not a lick of color on my pale white skin). For the first time in two weeks I need to drink instead of want to drink.

Do you think if I went to the doctor and was officially declared a raging alcoholic that the doctor could write a letter to the big guys saying work has a negative influence on my health?

I'm just saying that it blows. Hard.

Screw 'em all. Go read Drizz and DerekMcDrunk (who absolutely positively without a doubt did NOT find me sitting in a country bar at 5am my last night in Key West.)

I'm just going to think about the picture below and that moment in time.