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Friday, September 21, 2007

No time to write. Busy packing. See you on the other side when I'll officially be old.



JDub and friend in Key West


Blogger Donkament
Full Tilt, 9:00 PM EST
Password: donkarama
$1 + $1, rebuy + addon, NLHE

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Thursday, September 20, 2007

Avoiding stripper drama 

"Stripper drama. Same as all the other drama." I don't know who said that the last time we were down in paradise but it fit the bill. You spend enough time in these places and you get to see the signs. You know who the girls are trying to pay off their dealer, the ones dancing off their rebellious side, and the ones that are actually paying their way through college (hones to god, we found one of them). You also get to see some primetime stripper drama.

Take JDub for instance. He had a front row several years ago. Minding his own business by getting his 10th consecutive lap dance, he found himself in the middle of a stripper through down. One girl pissed and another behind the tacky beaded curtain separating the lap dancer and the general public. Lewey and I were minding our own business, one of the few opportunities Lewey took time off from his consecutive lap dance streak, when we heard the high pitch yell of strippers in distress.

All we could see was various elbows, arms, and legs popping in and out of the curtain. Screaming until the bouncer pulled the girls out. JDub walked out of the backroom with that "6-inches of vision" stare and made his way around to us. We tried to pry the information out of him because the shrew harpies were gone and nothing was coming from them.

JDub just choke his head and said "that was the best lap dance in the history of the world!!!" This coming from a guy who licked stripper toes in the middle of a binge on a dive strip club floor.

My friends, the freaks. Wouldn't have it any other way.

~

I was asleep on the couch by 8pm, back up at 9:30, unregistered from the Mookie shortly thereafter. I pushed the boundaries of sleep deprivation and alcoholism to far. Insta-coma.

Tonight I have no choice for the Riverchasers event. I'll be continuing my Irish Kevin's training. See anyone wants to find action on this bet. I'll set the over/under on the number chugged Guinness at 2.5 and the fastest time at 5 seconds. Battle it out, you'll know when I finally show up to the poker table with a head full of beer and Soco.

~

DIS-GRACIE! (let's get that nickname to stick. There has been talk of Gracie + lap dance if it happens)

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Friday - Transformers is re-released in Imax format.

Saturday - Pre-gaming for vacation like a worlds friggin champion.

Sunday - the standard toast, "Mother F@#^ing Key West!"

Monday - the cheerleader returns





Answers for yesterday's baseball shadow figures will be posted tomorrow. See everyone tonight and don't forget about the WPBT event on Tuesday (time corrected).

Tournament: Riverchasers Online Poker Tour
When: Thursday September 20th, 21:00 ET
Game: NLHE Deepstack
Buyin: $10+1
Password: Riverchasers

What: WPBT Event #9, NL-DS
When: Sept 25th - Tuesday
Time: 9:30pm EST
Where: Full Tilt
How Much: $24 or token
Restrictions: Bloggers only, please.

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Wednesday, September 19, 2007

2 more days, 2 more days, 2 more days 

"It is the policy of this establishment to limit credit card transactions to
$5,000.00 per day per customer."

Sign at Teasers, 2005

Q: So how much did you spend the first night?
A: Do you mean in cash or credit?

Conversation with Lewey, 2005
I was up on nearly 2am working and watching the Phillies pull to within 1.5 games of the Mets (luckily they'll choke that up sometime while I'm on vacation, drunk, and barely caring). I woke back up at 5am for some more work and things have gone down hill since. There is no end in sight to this day but I suspect it finish up on the bad end of a bottle then playing poker.

Maybe should rethink the drinks and Guinness chugging from last night.

This place is going to suck the last bit of life out of me before I get my fat head on a plane. I'm starting to like my semi-brilliant idea of taking off the week after Key West. Now I have the option of not coming back anytime soon. I just may fall in love with a stripper (again? really?) and get a job as a mate on a charter fishing boat. First thing I would do is throw this shitty laptop overboard.

There is bitchfest 09/19. The world can get bent.

~

From Awful Announcing, seems the Atlanta Falcons have signed Byron OJ Simpson Leftwich. Congrats.

~

No nudie pics today so how about shadow puppets? I can't remember exactly where I got this little baseball quiz. Can you name the 10 players?




Cheers, see you at The Mookie, Riverchasers, and WPBT events.

Tournament: The Mookie
When: Wednesday. 10pm ET
Game: NLHE Deepstack
Buyin: $10+1
Password: vegas1

Tournament: Riverchasers Online Poker Tour
When: Thursday September 20th, 21:00 ET
Game: NLHE Deepstack
Buyin: $10+1
Password: Riverchasers

What: WPBT Event #9, NL-DS
When: Sept 25th - Tuesday
Time: 9:30pm PST
Where: Full Tilt
How Much: $24 or token
Restrictions: Bloggers only, please.

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Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Moving on up 

"The Royal Australian Navy is under pressure to explain why it has spent tens of thousands of pounds paying for female sailors to have breast enlargements."
God bless the Australians. I already knew that was a fine country because they're about the only ones left who don't totally despise Americans and they gave us such fine examples of humans as Paul Hogan, Bon Scott, and a footy player in D.C. I almost feel the need to post a picture.

~

On top of my barely concealed desire to ignore this space on the web for a few weeks, I found out yesterday that I would have even less time to write this week than I imagined.

Seems I'll be moving out of my dank basement dwelling (which resembled Dan Aykroyd's space in Spies Like Us. Now there's a stretch). I was very pleased when I first saw my new digs. Moving on up to a nice corner office complete with sunshine and a near 180 degree view of lovely Chester County. That didn't last long when they realized that I wasn't Dr. Van-such and such. That was the closest I'll ever come to a C-level office as long as I continue with this shitty attitude and come to work sweating out booze from the night before.

I'm back to an interior office although I have much better access to the smoking area and the privacy factor has gone way up. But that works out for you, my little scumbags. I now have much more time for scanning dirty perverted pictures to post.

Things just have a way of working themselves out for the best.

~


Below is a picture that I've had for about a week ever since Sean forwarded them to me. He was doing an appearance at the local Hooters and had a couple of the locals line up for pics. I naturally decided to wait until after the Phillies/Mets series was over. Sean is a Mets fan and we had a bet going on who won the season series. I expect that I'll have a nice bottle of Soco show up sooner or later. We may not make the playoffs but we owned the Mets. If we can find a way to sneak into the playoffs I certainly hope we see them.



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I've added the next WPBT event to the schedule of online tourneys. It's coming up next Tuesday. I'll likely be nose deep in stripper parts but that doesn't mean you shouldn't show up.

Tournament: The Mookie
When: Wednesday. 10pm ET
Game: NLHE Deepstack
Buyin: $10+1
Password: vegas1

Tournament: Riverchasers Online Poker Tour
When: Thursday September 20th, 21:00 ET
Game: NLHE Deepstack
Buyin: $10+1
Password: Riverchasers

What: WPBT Event #9, NL-DS
When: Sept 25th - Tuesday
Time: 9:30pm PST
Where: Full Tilt
How Much: $24 or token
Restrictions: Bloggers only, please.

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Monday, September 17, 2007

I drink beer goot 

The beer drinkers will be proud. Even BartenderBlair was stunned with my choices on Friday. I knocked back 3 or 4 Guinness and a half dozen Yeungling Lagers throughout the course of the evening. I stayed away from the Girl's Lite and but kept up the Key West shot training program that should have me hitting peak tolerance this time next week. For the record, my warm up for the Irish Kevin's Guinness chug contest went down in 4.5 seconds cutting a full second off last trips effort.

While doing all this redonkey drinking I managed to take down two HORSE SnG's but donk out of Kat's game with a patented horrible read on my opponent.

After the stupid consumption Friday night, the rest of the weekend was pretty low key with only a Boathouse trip for the charity event to force me out of the house. Just for the girls (and Joaquin), here's how I spent my Sunday morning getting ready for football. Tao of Poker, NFL Countdown, and a 50 pound lapdog. Not seen in the picture is his left paw squarely on my nutz.

Bonus picture as Zeke easily agrees that Keshawn and Emmitt are both toolbags.

The majority of the weekend was spent chasing good chinese food with bad pizza and following the fish around to different Razz and O8 tables. The food was good, the fishing was better. Another weekend like this and I could have made the Key West trip a freeroll. Everyone else can enjoy those silly little Texas two card push and pray game.

~

Going into the Saturday football games there was only one major debate. Who did we really want to go 0 and 3? Michigan or Notre Dame. I made the call that since Michigan already had their Appalachian embarrassment I'd rather see Notre Dame take the donut for the third straight game and they didn't disappoint. Is a winless season with zero offensive touchdowns really too much to ask?

~

I am brilliant, you can admit it. Getting ready for one of my fantasy football games this week I wasn't feeling real comfortable with my defense and decided to pick up the Bengals against a crappy Browns team. Fantastic 51 points given up. Go ahead and engrave my name on that trophy right now.

~

Not that anyone does, but don't expect much from me this week. I have short timers disease pretty bad as I prepare for two weeks of debauchery. It takes some logistical effort to organize and plan for a decent number of drunks when it's all happening 1000 miles away on a tiny island. Both fishing charter boats and strip club managers require large deposits when sitting up private affairs. That and the smell is about the only thing in common.

If the Eagles game is out of control early tonight I hope to play in the MATH.

Click to embiggen me. It's worth it.



Tournament: Mondays at the Hoy
When: Monday. 10pm ET
Game: NLHE Deepstack
Buyin: $24+2
Password: hammer

Tournament: The Mookie
When: Wednesday. 10pm ET
Game: NLHE Deepstack
Buyin: $10+1
Password: vegas1

Tournament: Riverchasers Online Poker Tour
When: Thursday September 20th, 21:00 ET
Game: NLHE Deepstack
Buyin: $10+1
Password: Riverchasers

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