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Friday, August 10, 2007

Proving Otis 

"However, it goes without saying, I think, that it takes just as much--and maybe more--talent to excel in cash games. There are so many variables that come into play in cash that don't in tournaments that one could reasonably argue that cash game play takes--if not more--at least a very different kind of poker talent."
Otis - Tournaments, cash games, and skill
Proving Otis, but not really. It's just the title that jumped into my sleep deprived head. I get to kill two birds with one stone. Link up to another fine post by Otis and tell you the tale of some lemur winning his own damned tournament.

So I played the lottery last night and my numbers actually hit. I can't recall whether Hoy or Mookie have ever won their own tournaments but I managed to win mine last night. As you might imagine, friends and family are pouring out of the woodworks now that I've made a big score trying to hog the limelight and ask for "loans". Christ, Waffles even requested for a new chew toy.

Since the common theme amongst the bloggers who win HUGE MTT's like this monster, I will lay my vast knowledge upon you in hopes that you too may someday hit the jackpot like myself.

- Sit out for the first 6 levels - Phil Hellmuth has nothing on me when it comes to showing up late to tournaments. My bar obligations keep me busy until at least 10pm, a full hour after the tourney start time. No sense getting myself knocked out in the first hour against crap. Thin the herd I say. Thank god I used my brilliance to make this a deepstack tournament and I was only down to T2500 from the original 3000. Brilliant!

- When near the chiplead late, leave the table - I was second in chips to Hoy with less than 18 players remaining. Whacko, the wifi connection takes a much needed break leaving me with a laptop about as useful as a $1000 door jam. 15 quick ride home from the bar and a tourney break shoved in there. By the time I get logged back in I was back towards the bottom and still at two shorthanded tables. But I'm the second best short stacked specialist amongst the bloggers so I'm gold. Feel the genius!

- Get lucky. A lot! - Everyone says there is a certain amount of luck and gambling necessary to win these huge field/huge buyin tournaments. And I don't mean the kind of luck hitting a flop with overs against an underpair. Monster suckouts are the key. I might have set a new standard for luck last evening. As Waffles would say, "I knew I was going to win, KNEW!", when I pushed my shortstack all-in from the BB. The action ahead of me was raise, all-in, all-in over the top. I was looking to quadruple up with the all powerful QJ ooooffff. Luckily for me I was only going up against puny AA and KK. They were no match for the J flop and J turn. The rest of my suckouts were small by comparison.

My inbox has been flooded with interview requests and questions about what I plan to do with the money. The pressure is starting to take it's toll so I think I'm going to get away. The money will be put to good use. There is this little villa in the south of France which caught my eye. I think I will take a portion of my winnings and purchase it as a vacation retreat. The rest I will use to become a venture capitalist.

So there is proof of my theorem that MTT's require so much more skill than cash games. Any lemur can sit back at a cash table and try to out play people. It takes pure skill to roll the dice (queue the Journey music)

just one more time.....

~

The first person to take the above paragraphs seriously will get a swift kick to the ol' mommy/daddy button.

~

Seriously, thanks to everyone who came out to the Riverchasers game. It was a smaller field but that's mostly due to my mistake thanks to problems outside of my control. This is the 3rd Riverchasers tournament since the second half began. I have a 1st and a 2nd. Blinders came in 3rd after his 1st place finish in his only other RC game.

I couldn't get logged into FTP until nearly an hour late. Got myself shortie not long aftewards and did the ol' push and pray hoping my QJ was live. They were alive but on a ventilator. Then two table left and it became necessary to make a quick dash home for a viable internet connection. It was pure hellfire luck from that point out as I have absolutely no skill at this silly little game.

~

Several bloggers have been making a splash in the current FTOPS series. Hoy (and cmitch, I believe) both cashed in event number 1 and Heather who finished 28th out of 1,000+ in event number 2 last night.

Congrats to all.

~

Now go out and get drunk for christsake. You know I can't and someone needs to support the alcohol makers and distributors while I am gone.

Cheers.

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Thursday, August 09, 2007

Hooters and cooters and poopers... ooooh my 

Circumstances dictated a change of venue away from the comfy confines of the Boathouse. That didn't stop us from pre-gaming at the Boat to prepare our plan of attack. We needed to find a dive. Somewhere that our lives might actually be threatened by disease if not by an actual person(s). The eye candy needed to be young and on the trampy side. The less conversation, the better. Last night wasn't to be about socializing. With his reservation on the CantHang couch booked, this was about getting JDub sloppy drunk in a shit bar surrounded by knuckle-dragging mouth breathers. If that place happens to be a strip club, so much the better.

With the plans set in motion, JDub casually spits out a classic "Hooters and cooters and poopers, ooooh my."

We found the perfect dive bar with a great staff who dress like they are working the corner. On a very serious note, I would like to thank whoever decided that short shorts and tube socks were the new fad on girls. God damn I likey. If JDub could have gotten his head under the tap they might have had to order a few more kegs of Yuengling. We minded our own attention as we kept an easy conversation going between ourselves and semi-tard behind the bar while watching the Dallas Cowboys 2007 story on a loop with a Romo-tastic ending.

The only socializing we ended up doing was with a couple sitting next to JDub. It wasn't socializing so much as it was ragging on the poor girl for coming from Pittsburgh (at least her name wasn't Steely McBeam). Her beau was drinking some nasty looking concoction that looked a lot like radioactive glowing smurf piss. As the night progressed he kept knocking them back at an impressive rate with his "champagne of beers". Impressive until I learned that it was only 35 proof and you have a better chance of getting a buzz from the local tap water.

The end was near. He was displaying the classic drunken six-inches-of-vision and a bit of a sway on the barstool. His chippy was prattling on as she must by nature and her boy's head kept getting closer to the bar. JDub and I both happened to look over at the exact moment Mr. Hypnotiq decided to empty his stomach down the front of the bar. Keeping in mind the entire bottle of nuclear looking liquid in his stomach, the barmaiden was not pleased.

"Parties over!" said JDub as we beat a hasty exit.

I really wish I could tell you that the night ended up with us dumping loads of middle class food stamps in the g-strings of third class stripettes while ducking the occasional broken pool stick fight. But I can't.

~

Is that a understandable excuse for missing The Mookie last night? JDub really needed a night out and who am I to deny such a request.

Tonight is the bi-weekly Riverchasers tournament. Not sure how many we'll draw since I got the notice out late. I'll be online as soon as I finish up my bar duties.

Cheers.

Tournament: Riverchasers Online Poker Tour
When: August 9th, 21:00 ET
Game: NLHE Deepstack
Buyin: $10+1
Password: Riverchasers

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Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Reason to Hate Corporate Life #8664 

Not that I really need another reason to despise working in a corporate environment. Crap pay, over-worked, under-appreciated. That's standard operating procedure for big business, just pushing everyone through the old play dough fun factory until someone breaks and they are replaced with an intern from for the former Soviet Bloc. I've come to accept my role in the meat grinder and drink heavily to compensate. Remember, I'm the pro-active drunk. I don't drink because of what happened today, I drink for what might happen tomorrow.

Today they topped it all and I should have known. The 11pm newscasts all led off with a story about the weather. After a fairly mild summer the dogs days were getting here. This area is quite well known for it's oppressive humidity once August rolls around. Today is to be one the hottest days of the summer with ridiculous humidity. I've stated it before, fat men like myself aren't real fond of this kind of weather. If I'm going to sweat this much I better be in the process of tagging a deaf/mute supermodel.

Things are nice and cozy in my sub-basement dungeon-like office. Crunching away at the morning issues and remembering fondly the bacon fat recently consumed. In a genius move I should have seen coming, the fire alarm goes off in the hallway and the gestapo immediately demands everyone leave the office for a fire drill. I swear to christ, if I saw them loading us onto box cars I would not have been surprised. Did I mention the record setting temperature and the humidity?

They finally gave the all-clear notice which involved a security lackey blowing an air horn within a yard of my head. I successfully resisted the temptation to punch him in his vagina.

Just one more reason to get out of the rat race.

Postscript: it got even worse. Upon my return I was immediately prompted by my system that I was late for a meeting. Unfortunately for me, two other men in the meeting were also in the firedrill, outweigh me by more than a metric ton, and smelled like the ass end of a back alley hooker at the end of her shift. Thank you Mr. Corporate Man.

~

I was really in a good mood when I rolled into work this morning. I was able to get some reading done last night and spend some quality time with my lazyboy. This morning I even cut my pork fat intake by half and actually ate something for breakfast that did not consist of fried animal flesh. I think I got too much sleep last night, that's the only explanation.

So I bring you 4 links you check out this morning/afternoon/evening/ever.

- Two links that I found over at Awful Announcing (fantastic sports blog by the way, you should grab the RSS feed in your readers). I haven't watched much of the X Games recently. They spent a few years peddling around Philly and causing the old folks to shit themselves. Apparently some crazy shit went down at this years game.

The first one is a skate boarder who managed to walk away from a 50 foot fall. It's pretty sick, especially wait for the replays at the end of the video. Second, apparently backflips on motorcycles are common place now (don't know if I want to live in a world where kids do backflips on motorcycles but I'm an old man). What the hell is this guy doing? Hanging from a motorcycle that is flying rubber side up. Survival of the fittest I suppose.

- Nothing that major here. Just one of the few sites offering up a Michael Vick Dog Chew Toy. I'm ok with the death penalty if you need to know.

- Finally, I am way behind in my Otis praise. Every poker blogger out there has probably already read it but maybe somebody missed it. TLDNR by Otis is tops in my books. I can think of a handful of young poker players that should read and learn.

Party well this evening.

Tournament: The Mookie
When: Wednesday. 10pm ET
Game: NLHE Deepstack
Buyin: $10+1
Password: vegas1

Tournament: Riverchasers Online Poker Tour
When: August 9th, 21:00 ET
Game: NLHE Deepstack
Buyin: $10+1
Password: Riverchasers

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Monday, August 06, 2007

REBUY!! 

Steve left a funny comment last week when I mentioned that I was making my annual trip back to the wagon in an effort to lower my alcohol tolerance and bring some sanity back to the bartabs. Last year he gave up all booze for Lent and I took great pleasure in giving him grief with countless dial-a-shots and general ragging. He gave it up for organized religion and I guess to try to somehow save his soul. I don't get the whole Lent thing because I'm a heathen (according to BigMike). I'm assuming Lent doesn't let you have do-overs.

Luckily for me, my stint is strictly voluntary and non-binding.

Thank god, for I got ripped to the tits Friday night.

Bad timing on my part really. I completely whiffed on a challenge offered up by the Boathouse that involved both myself and BigMike. Simple enough challenge. Basically how many people did we think we could get into the Boathouse between 10pm and midnight on a Friday night. Being typically an after-work Happy Hour hangout and not much in the way of a night club, they were trying to draw interest and patrons.

Since there isn't going to be a Bash at the Boathouse this year we decided this was a good chance to get our friends together. With less than a week to prepare, somewhere in the neighborhood of 100 to 150 of our closest drinking friends showed up and put a serious hurting on the booze stock. By the time the bar closed it was feeling like a Bash all over again. Bartab long enough to wrap around BigMike and cotton mouth from too many cigarettes. It was a 10 hour shift at the bar filled with drunken girls falling out of their dress and getting flagged, many poor college girls showing up for free booze and acting extremely grateful, and the incident at the end of the night involving girls comparing nipple piercings.

Camera batteries dead.

So how about August 6th is now Day 1 of being on the wagon. If this one doesn't stick we'll just move along. September is out of the question because every single weekend of the month is booked solid with out of town friends and a big killer birthday trip.

I am a weak man and the bartender's mortgage company sends us birthday cards.

~

The girls have been asking and Joaquin even sent an email request. I haven't posted any Zeke picture lately. Here you go. 7 months from when he was this big and now full ripping full of energy..

He's learn to shake, still a demon dog, and will occasionally slow down enough for a picture lying down. He's also taken to acting like the cat. 60 pounds of puppy deciding that the perfect place to lounge is on the back of the sofa. Naturally never stayed still long enough like that when I stood up to take his picture.

~

"Tournaments require more skill than cash games."
Hoyazo
A very strong statement made by Hoy the other day. He even bolded the comment to make sure that you completely understand in no uncertain terms. The only problem with his statement is that it's completely wrong.

I'm not saying it's wrong in the sense that tournaments take more skill than cash games or the tournament players overall require greater skill to be successful. The problem is the "end-all-be-all-this is how it is" tone of his statement. In his mind, there is absolutely no question that tournaments require more skill than cash games.

I will always have a problem with any statement such as this. There are very few absolutes in this game and the skill discussion is definitely one of those. I fully planned a writeup about this age old debate but it's such an old abused topic that I deleted most of it. Certainly sounds like a "hey you kids get off my lawn" post.

This argument has been going on longer than you can believe. Before the poker boom and Chris Moneymaker luck boxed his way to a title. Before ESPN started broadcasting the Main Event final tables and most likely long before some of you were even born.

The argument between cash games and tournament play is always valid. I prefer more discussion with reasoned arguments and bold statements (and don't involve the tactics of Waffles/Chad acting girlish). Debate is good and discussion with the sharper minds will help others gain a better understanding into this silly little game we play. I encourage more of it as this topic runs it's course and other issues pop up.

As for my two cents on this age old issue, tournaments require a different skill set than cash games, not necessarily more. I could line up some top end cash game players that will tell the tournament players to keep on playing the lottery. The blind squirrel and the nut, as they say.

Cheers

Tournament: Mondays at the Hoy
When: Monday. 10pm ET
Game: NLHE Deepstack
Buyin: $10+1
Password: hammer

Tournament: The Mookie
When: Wednesday. 10pm ET
Game: NLHE Deepstack
Buyin: $10+1
Password: vegas1

Tournament: Riverchasers Online Poker Tour
When: August 9th, 21:00 ET
Game: NLHE Deepstack
Buyin: $10+1
Password: Riverchasers

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