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Friday, June 15, 2007

"Bacchus hath drowned more men than Neptune."

Dr. Thomas Fuller
It was one of those odd nights that occur on occasion as I spent 6 hours in the bar and barely did an adult beverages cross my lips. My liver put in a vacation request which I granted, he needed the time off. Only 3 or 4 doubles managed to sneak through however the Marlboro Man picked up the slack. After everything was settled later in the evening, I sat around the bar watching a bunch of teeny boppers celebrate a chippy's 21st birthday.

Sooner or later they will learn that frantically dancing around in a loose fit dress cut down their navel does nothing other than attract the attention of the Dirty Ol' Man Club. Of which I am the regional president. Unfortunately sober Al didn't take the change to snap off a few pics for the national audience. Mea Culpa.

"That head attached to those boobs really pisses me off." Just a throw away comment I made at the bar last night as the cute little girl walked away after suckering another round of shots out of me.

Million dollar body commanded by a 2 dollar brain and a 1 cent tongue. Such a shame.

~

I made it very late to the Riverchasers tournament but that doesn't mean it wasn't interesting. I was late finishing up the trivia contest in the bar so I wasn't able to log on until the first break was just ending. I was sitting with just a little over T500. I doubled up quickly by winning an ugly race with my QTsoooooted versus LJ's 88. Another quick double up shortly after when I flopped a set of 3's against the big stack's TPTK. I went from 500 to 3300 in two orbits and settled in to actually play instead of autopushmonkeylemur style.

Then Full Tilt locked up and kicked everyone out. Apparently they needed to reset my kill switch because when it came back, I quickly went to the rail in 19th. Apparently the rule when playing online from the bar is not to call out the cards you are dodging. I went in preflop ahead against K9. All I said was "No King no 9, No King no 9, No King no 9" all they way to flop of 99x. Yeeha, Jester's dead.

The defense department regrets to inform you that your sons are dead because they were stupid.

The story of the night though was BBT killing machine bayne. Already sitting on top of the leaderboard with a nice lead and BuddyDank putting some pressure on thanks to his win in the Mookie, bayne beat out a field of 71 (again?) to win his second title during the challenge. He has final tabled nearly a third of the events and the rest of the top players will have to go on a nice heater to catch him.

There are 7 events left in the challenge to try and catch bayne, make the money, or get qualify for the freeroll. It's also time to start hitting up the Tier II token frenzies in anticipation of the final Blogger Big Game hosted by MiamiDon. That will be the last tournament in the Challenge. If we can get 73 players for that tournament on July 1st, it will be a $5000 prizepool to pad some bankrolls.

Check back this weekend for your "Joe Speaker Wins" thank you links. I'm taking requests.

Cheers.

BuddyDank Radio

Tournament: Mondays at the Hoy (MATH)
When: Monday. 10pm ET
Buyin: $24+2
Password: hammer

Tournament: The Mookie
When: Wednesday. 10pm ET
Buyin: $10+1
Password: vegas1

Tournament: Riverchasers Special Event #5
When: Sunday, June 24th, 16:00pm ET
Game: HORSE Deepstack
Buyin: $24+2
Password: riverhorse

UPDATE: As if you've ever needed a reason to question Waffles decisions, he makes this post. Naturally it took Captain Mookie Photoshop a minute to take advantage. From the brilliant skills of The Mook, Waffles Uncovered! (I've thrown up 4 times just from accidentally looking. Now I really owe you some real pics.)


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Thursday, June 14, 2007

The "Not Really Live" Blogging the Bender 

Obviously there was no "Blogging the Bender" last night. If there had been, it would have been something terribly exciting like this:

5:00pm: Arrived at the bar. Young Turk must be running late, no sense getting a head start on him.

6:00pm: Still no sign of the guy and I can no longer wait. Cheers.

7:00pm: Obviously his smart friends and sober mind talked him out of it. Holy crap, look at the set of cans on the lead singer of tonight's band! (this was said in the most respectful, considerate, complimentary way. Naturally.) I've given up on tonight's sacrificial lamb, but I struggle on without him in my pursuit of liquid heaven.

8:00pm: "Don't forget Jim, you have to leave by 9pm to get home in time to play the Mookie. Here, have another shot."

9:00pm: "Jim, you've got to go, stop talking to her boobs. Here, have another shot then you have to leave."

9:15pm: "JIM!"

9:30pm: "Jim, your fooked. Leave now and you'll only get blinded down a little. Here, have another shot for the road."

10:00pm: I love it when Old meets New. I wish every night ended like that picture. Empty bottle, new bottle. The end.

It was a normal, quiet, nice little buzzy kind of night. Fewer patrons than normal thanks to the now daily thunderstorms. I camped out at the back bar to bullshit with Jim and for easier access to the booze. BobbyBoathouse is good people. We relaxed until the Mookie kicked off and that was about it.

No excitement, no drunken yuppie fights, no young gun harking in the bathroom. Good times.

~

Team AlCantHang/BigMike finally on the board! Go figure, I always knew I'd be happy when a German kicked it, just figured it would be someone close by and has the title of Developer.

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JoeSpeaker Wins! JoeSpeaker Wins!

You know what that means, I owe you a crap load more pics which I'm working on now. I think this puts him into the Final Four and that will be some work. For me.

~

71 players last night in The Mookie. Not the 80 that I'm practically demanding at this point (don't make me stop linking girlie shots!) but a fine turnout. We are starting to see some bleedover players from the Riverchasers games and vice versa. I think Mookie would be happy to average 70 players from now until eternity.

My play was middle of the road leaning more towards they shitty side of town as evidenced by my middle of the pack finish. I remember very few hands and went out with a whimper instead of a roar. Congrats to BuddyDank for winning his first blogger tourney and the rest of the players at the final table. The BBT Leaderboard has been updated and the top spots are starting to get very tight with Buddy's win and Iggy's final table cash. Still anyone's game.

Also a very nice job to Buddy for the radio broadcast last night during the tourney. He teamed up with Sean and it's a fantastic addition to the poker blogger tournaments. (although I could probably do without the Abba. Who requested that?). They played songs, gave bustout information so I didn't need multiple tables open, and just generally made it more enjoyable. The downside was that I looked even more like a nuge than normal sitting at the bar playing poker on my laptop with the good ol' ear buds in. I'm a douche.

Tonight's Riverchaser tournament is the last BBT tourney of the week and I'm hoping for a big turnout. I've put a bounty on myself and Riverchaser Jim (riggstad). Nothing big but knock either one of us out and I'll throw you a shirt from the FTP Store (and NOT a jersey, that's mine). I'll be playing from the bar again tonight, so please remind me tomorrow if you knock me out.

Update: I completely wiffed on posting this. Here is the current Riverchasers Leaderboard. There are three more RC event for the first half of the year. The Top 100 players will be entered into a $2000 freeroll put up by them. That freeroll is completely separate from the BBT freeroll. Plenty of time to get in the Top 100, just give a look at spots 2 through 6.

BuddyDank Radio

Tournament: Riverchasers Online Tour #12
When: Thursday, June 14th, 21:00pm ET
Buyin: $10+1
Password: riverchasers

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Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Forget Politics, Vote For Speaker 



Click to Vote!


There's something wrong in this world when a schlub from Steel town can actually hanging tough "The Speaker". 1200 votes and they are separated by only 6. Unacceptable. So I ask a drunken request of Mookie and he responds as usual. He came up with a top notch banner in a matter of moments. A vote for Speaker is a vote for America!

This bar girl REALLY wants you to go vote. I never really claimed to be very subtle, did I?

And if you don't want to vote for Speaker, well here you go.

~

I'm not really looking forward to the bar trip after work today. It's actually going to feel a little bit like work and I don't think I'm going to have a lot of fun. I'm committing a cardinal sin against all pro-drinkers. I've never been a guy who counts shots/drinks as some sort of barometer of the evening. Amateurs do that.

Sure we'll check the Soco bottle count at the end of a rather spectacular bender or the one time I documented each bottle as it died during a "Live Blogging the Drunk" post during St. Patrick's Day. But that's the exception to the rule. I don't drink to get drunk, it just happens to be one of those happy little side effects of my preferred social interactions. And I'm a raging alcoholic, but that's besides the point.

Following trivia on Thursday, this young turk bought me a couple shots and somewhere in the course of the evening decided that he could drink with me. Shot for shot. I laughed it off the first half dozen times he said it but got to the point of being pretty god damned annoying. He started to insist that he was going to show up sometime this week, sit with us at the bar, and drink a knock back a shot of Southern every time I did. I told him no, his friends told him he was being stupid (poor kid was already wasted), and he couldn't find a single person who thought it was a good idea.

Two hours of listening to him later and a person in the bar sets the ground rules. I only agree to do this as long as he promises not to die (in the bar), he has a ride home, and the first one flagged has to pick up the tab.

Consider it a Public Service Announcement on the dangers of alcohol. It will be pathetic and I apologize to all the professional drinkers out there for breaking the code. I'll have the camera handy for some before and after pics of Junior. The over/under on him crashing is Sunset. I'm considering a "Blogging the Bender" tonight so check back if you wish.

~

What can you do while I'm busy making a poor kid cry for his mama? You can play in the Mookie. I realize the turnout has been a little slow in the blogger events the last several weeks. I'll chalk that up to the Memorial Day holiday, beginning of summer, and a bunch of Waffle disciples herding off in Vegas. But all of that is done now. The biggest turnout so far in the Mookie was 77 players. I like to crush the 80 player Mendoza line.

Also, tune into BuddyDank radio during the tournament as Sean joins him for some music, commentary, and unusual prop bets. This see how many people his server can handle.

Cheers

Tournament: The Mookie
When: Wednesday. 10pm ET
Buyin: $10+1
Password: vegas1

Tournament: Riverchasers Online Tour #12
When: Thursday, June 14th, 21:00pm ET
Buyin: $10+1
Password: riverchasers



Gratuitous picture of Joanna Krupa before the boys at Wicked Pork Chops find it.
mmmmm Pork Chops. Click to make bigger und better.

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Tuesday, June 12, 2007

For the Love of Waffles, Vote for Speaker 

We all know that Waffles is much better looking than Joe Speaker. That's just a universal truth. He certainly uses more 'product' and the girlies can't get enough of him. Unfortunately the WhiffleBall doesn't have a sports blog which is the only explanation why the girls over at Ladies... have chosen Speaker over the Great American Troll. Mr. Speaker easily made his way through round 1 of their sports blogger "tournament" and he's moved onto round number 2.

For the girls out there, plenty of men to look at on their site. For the guys, I suppose I'll need to bride you to go vote for Speaker.

If you go vote, these girls will really thank you.
If you go vote, this girl will have much less on next time her pic gets posted.
If you go vote, these girls will take you to the beach.
And finally, if you go vote, I'll find someway for this girl to pour you a drink.

~

Hellmuth wins his 11th WSoP Bracelet. That's all well and good, but TripJax has the story behind the scenes. "Phil Hellmuth, Jr. Takes Monumental Dump En Route to Just Another WSoP Tournament Win"

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Cruising right along in the MATH last night, 40 minutes into it and getting a feel for the table, then BOOM goes the dynamite. The all powerful two outter on the river. I owe you a dollar. It happens. I just sat around to watch the rest of the tournament and cruise through the endless see of reruns on TV.

The next event is The Mookie on Wednesday. I neglected to mention last week that BuddyDank began an internet radio broadcast during the Mookie with the help of Sean. I'm not sure how many people actually know, but that's right up Sean's alley. Check him out, ladies.

So during the Mookie tomorrow you've got BuddyDank and a real live working radio DJ on BuddyDank Radio for your listening pleasure and commentary. I'll be there.

Tournament: The Mookie
When: Wednesday. 10pm ET
Buyin: $10+1
Password: vegas1

Tournament: Riverchasers Online Tour #12
When: Thursday, June 14th, 21:00pm ET
Buyin: $10+1
Password: riverchasers

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Monday, June 11, 2007

Sopranos > Ocean's 13 

While some of my friends were tooling around Vegas looking for the blue light special on hookers and the softest games in town, you would figure I would try to do my best to keep up with them back here in the land of zzzzzzz. Instead of pounding away at the amber liquid and choking off my lungs I spent another quiet weekend in front of the TV and downloading pr0n of the tubes. I also kept my cell phone handy for the those dial-a-shots to come pouring in. I had a bottle of Soco on the counter and a bottle of Limoncello in the freezer so I had options depending on my mood.

And my phone never rang. Not a single drunken Waffles call.

Sunday I managed to get my fat ass out of the lazy boy long enough to hit up the movies with BigMike. Unfortunately we went to see the steaming terd pile that is Ocean's 13. Wow, Ernest Goes to Camp might have been a better movie. Right after the movie my thoughts were "eh, not that bad" but my mind changed after some thought. It was so bad that Brad Pitt owes me a shot at his wife's ass.

I'm all about the 'suspension of belief' when heading out to the movies. It's entertainment. But I'll be quicker to believe that's a real fargin dragon flying through a Harry Potter movie than god damned Don Cheadle can get the tunneling machine that worked the Chunnel in operation under Vegas on 24 hours notice. And that was one of the more realistic ideas during the movie. Everything was telegraphed long before it happened, casting Pacino was a waste, and the only female to look at was Grandma Barkin and her 70 year old cleavage.

Luckily I got home in enough time to watch the Sopranos finale. It will be splashed all over the web so I won't spoil it for anyone. I will tell you that after the initial surprise of thinking my damned cable went out, I have to say that I liked the ending. "Wild Bill" Guarnere whacked Phil Retardo and the truck over the head thing was a nice touch. Christopher the Cat. Journey blaring as the family sits together in a diner full of people who might/might not be there to stick a barrel to Tony's head. Cut to black.

I liked it.

~

Three events this week for you BBT Challege fun. Only 10 events left to get in the top 50 or 20 events played to qualify for the freeroll. It's down to crunch time.

Tournament: Mondays at the Hoy (MATH)
When: Monday. 10pm ET
Buyin: $24+2
Password: hammer

Tournament: The Mookie
When: Wednesday. 10pm ET
Buyin: $10+1
Password: vegas1

Tournament: Riverchasers Online Tour #12
When: Thursday, June 14th, 21:00pm ET
Buyin: $10+1
Password: riverchasers

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