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Friday, May 11, 2007

Just another night 



The exact opposite of anything that happened at the bar last night

An unremarkable spring day at the bar last evening. No major happenings except for the one employee struggling to stay upright when confronted with the option of the cool cool floor. You can already feel the weather changing over. The last few years, the spring season has been short and abrupt. We'll get a few weeks of cool/warm weather with decent evenings. Before too long the humidity moves in and makes the place sticky. The air turns to pea soup and us fat trolls don't like that very much.

Last night was the first muggy night and it's come too early. No talent at the bar, just a bunch of meatheads in cheap softball t-shirts clamoring for their free wings and cheap beer. They mostly avoided Terri's wrath and I did not witness any beer pitchers being thrown around. I was very much sober which could have twisted (or not twisted might be the case) my perception because I did not partake in the nectar as much as normal. I smoked like a fiend, but not much in the way of booze. It just wasn't happening. This too shall pass. It was just a momentary set back in the grand scheme.

And that's about it in my neck of the woods. No major plans for the weekend involving bottles and amateurs. I may hit up the HQ game this evening to add some more padding to the bankroll but that's the extent of my weekend. Time to recharge the batteries and look forward to next week when I'll continue my streak of anti-social behavior and slow controlled death by enjoyment.

~

Have you signed up for the private Bracelet Race on Sunday? I know you haven't because there were only three this morning. Kat, Dr. Pauly, and myself. I'm the third best poker player out of that crew. Signup and join brdweb who won the blogger bracelet race. My poker playing friend from down south begs you to join her on Sunday. See you there.

Cheers and have a good weekend.


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Thursday, May 10, 2007

Bacon and Soco 

Just a little proof over there that I am true to my words. That's a fine example of dinner on the deck. Scallops wrapped in bacon with a Soco kicker. Toss in some cowboy killers, drunk monkey girls, an inflatable pool full of pudding (tapioca for traction), those little chocolate jimmie things and you've got a party. It's a complicated life.

Yesterday was one of the rare days when I actually received a very unhappy email about my Iggy birthday post. Too many nekkid womenses and not enough solid content. Like I've ever been known for solid content. The email was anonymous so I won't respond. I was due to offend someone sooner or later.

But in the interest of fair play, here are a couple of pics for the girls out there. Three pics of him laying in bed. I also have a couple of his first trip to the beach. Does that satisfy all my female critics out there? Equal time for all, I say.

The lovely and talented Mr. Allin aka PokerBitch aka The Girl Who Can Instantly Tilt Otis tagged with some sort of meme. I've yet to ever respond to one of these things but I'm afraid she'll kick my ass. So here you go, I'm not sending it to anyone else so you are off the hook. 7 completely random facts off the top of my head.

1. Except for one crazy unexplained year when I lived just off the campus of the University of Delaware, I have always lived within an hour of where I was born.

2. I have absolutely zero skills with any musical instruments. I once played the piano when I was in elementary school but it didn't stick. I'm not a rockstar, I just play on one the internet.

3. I once smoked a big ol' fatty joint with Sebastian Bach of Skid Row standing onstage during a Metallica show.

4. I attended an uber-conservative Baptist prep school. I mean CONSERVATIVE. God damn Bob freaking Jones spoke at my graduation ceremony. Shocking that I turned out the way I did.

5. As much as I love Southern Comfort, I find it completely undrinkable when chilled or on the rocks. I would sooner drink a shot of cheap ass rail vodka from a plastic bottle than Soco chilled. Savages. Turn bottle, pour contents into glass until glass full, turn bottle back to full upright position. Simple enough.

6. Maybe the most disturbing random fact? I once attended a Mr. Big show at the old Hammerjacks in Baltimore. Shameful. But come on, Paul Gilbert and Billy Sheehan.

7. Blood alcohol level of 0.46 and lived to tell about it. That's the 10 word story behind the CantHang nickname.

~

I working to update the BBT leaderboard this morning. 75 players with a ton of old time bloggers out and about again. Congrats to Bayne who took it down and the others who made the money. There are no more BBT events until next weeks Monday at the Hoy but we do have the private bracelet race coming up this Sunday. Also, it's time to start hitting up the $75 token frenzies for MiamiDon's Blogger Big Game on the 20th.


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Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Happy 40th Birthday Blogfather 

Leave it to Iggy to not let me know his big 40th birthday was upon us. That's a big honkin' round number. So I honor The Blogfather is the best way I know how.

A very VERY Not Safe For Work post. Short and to the point. Since he turned off comments sometime around the death of bulletin boards, feel free to leave a comment below.

Seriously, if you are offended by the female body, do not click any links below and don't give me any crap.

~

The birthday boy always need to have some to unwrap on his birthday. It just a little pair that we got for you to play with. Try not to suffocate.

There are several things an old man like Iggy could do on his birthday. He could either take a ride out on his boat or take a trip to the beach. He could hit the pool or hit the shower, either way he needs to take a dip. There's always the option to drink and drink some more and take a hit like Pauly (there is always Mardi Gras later).

But since he's just turned 40, he'll probably curl up in his lazy boy with a good DVD or maybe watch some soccer.

No matter what he decides to do on his big day, lift a glass tonight to the blogger who brought most of us together either directly or indirectly. Cheers to Iggy! (just don't pass out)

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Crashing and burning early 

Short but not so sweet today. Spending the day babysitting a bunch of shaved apes as they push magic buttons to get a banana delivered. The joys of sys arch. I'll be waiting for another deck night full of testosterone pumped, beer drinking, wing eating, softball players and their cute little neglected girl friends. I'll try to stay sober and ever vigilant for pic opportunities.

Nothing much going on last night other than a quick jaunt to the bar before the MATH event. This time I remembered to register before only half drowning myself in drink and Heroes. The only difference between my outcome last week when I didn't play and last night was that my bankroll is now $26 lower with nothing to show for it. I got a shorty stack shortly after the first break and was forced to try to steal with the almighty KJh and a micro M. Unfortunately NewinNov cracked my monster with his wussy little AA and I was forced to the rail. When is it my turn to crack someones aces?

The leaderboard has been updated and we have a new guy on the top. One of those new bloggers no one has ever heard of. THE Blogfather had another big finish (3rd) and jumped both MiamiDon and oossuuu. We're coming up to the halfway point in the challenge. It's time to start looking at your numbers to see what you can do to hit the end of challenge freeroll. Remember, it's the top 50 point earners PLUS anyone who has played in 20 events or more. The way that I'm playing, I'm certainly only going to qualify via events played. Another two miscellaneous challenge numbers to throw out there. With the Mookie coming up, we will top the 1000 player mark for all the events combined. We've also had 227 (hammer!) individual players throughout the challenge. I've been floored at the turnout. None of us expected it.

Don't forget the Mookie coming up on Wednesday and the Blogger/reader/Riverchaser Bracelet Race coming up on Sunday. I've seen some posts recently that seemed to think that MiamiDon's Big Game is this Sunday. That's incorrect. The Blogger Big Game is on Sunday, May 20th.

Tournament: The Mookie
Where: Full Tilt Poker
When: Wednesday. 10pm ET
Buyin: $10+1
Password: vegas1





For anyone who scrolls this far down



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1. 60 Hours in Amsterdam, Part I by Paul McGuire
I was worried that the Air France ticket agent in Nice was going to send my bags to Paris. He kept asking me if I was going to Paris and I responded with "Amsterdam" everytime he asked... More

2. Stuck in Monte Carlo by Otis Dart
It was actually the sea that I had stepped out on the balcony to see. I'd only been on the ground in Monte Carlo for a few hours. The moment I crashed into my room at the brand new Monte Carlo Bay Resort, I'd fallen into the most comfortable bed in the world... More

3. Emilio Estevez Loses His Tooth by BTreotch
Four minutes earlier, Emilio Estevez was beating his kid-brother Carlos while he was hog tied and strapped to the top rail of their swing set with cheap-itchy yellow rope... More

4. Confessions of a Man by Sigge S. Amdal
I should have asked her for a date. Any date at all. 4th of March, 6th of April, didn't really matter. As long as we could go and have a dinner, or see a movie or something. It's not like I'm craving a relationship, I've got too much to do already, but it stung inside of me knowing that I'd already lost a chance. A chance. Singular term. There could be more coming... More

5. A Grand Day Out by Susan Bently
On the other side of the road sat this German guy's car with a huge dent on the bonnet and his family sitting in the car, wife and children looking wide-eyed and pale. The bleeding carcass of a moose lay next to the car, dark patches of blood over the centerline... More

6. City of Sins by Clay Champlin
People head to Las Vegas for two reasons: salvation or condemnation. Those looking to be saved from their mundane Midwestern lives bask in the perpetual glow of the strip or gawk skyward at downtown's Freemont street experience... More

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Monday, May 07, 2007

Pigs, HORSE, and Truckin' 

I knew I shouldn't have jinxed myself with the previous post. Talk of the hot drunk slutettes staggering around the bar and buying them drinks. Like shooting the proverbial fish in a barrel. Friday afternoon was a beautiful day. The kind of day made for sitting on the deck without worrying about silly responsibilities like work the next day or being able to speak English by the time we are done. Landow and I bolted work early to get our prime spot. Close enough to the bar so we didn't have to wait for the waitress and on the deck enough to enjoy the traffic as they stream into the bar. We grabbed our adult beverages and took our seat to wait.

And wait.

The ugly convention must have been back in town. My usual disclaimer.... I am not an attractive male, there will never be a line of super models clamoring around for my attention. So I know ugly when I see it. And god help us, we saw way too much of it on Friday. Ugly women, ugly men, pretty monsters. If a tribe full of Sleestaks walked into the bar wearing mini-skirts and halter tops, the hot quotient would have gone up dramatically.

So we did what every reasonable person would do. We kept drinking and drinking and drinking until they got hot. The infamous beer goggles are not necessarily involuntary. It's just too bad that they don't have that much booze at the bar because we never got to that point. We kept right on drinking until we gave and decided that it would be a great idea for our drunk asses to hit up the crazy Riverchasers HQ game.

That game is insane enough without walking into it with a head full of booze and a pocket full of cash. Luckily two big hands were all I needed to walk out a winner. A flopped set of tens early on to stack one player then a turned nut flush in PLO later in the night to complete my mission. BigMike and I both walked out with a nice chunk of change and a huge pending hangover.

Another typical night.

~

I knew not many players were going to be able to show up for the Riverchasers HORSE game last night. Between me forgetting to pimp the damned thing and the Riverchasers live TOC going on at the same time, I was happy to see 17 players when it started. Well, 16 plus Waffles who donated and sat out the entire tournament. I have to say having his dead stack to my left definitely did not hurt my chances.

Short story shorter, I finally made the money in one of these damned things but only came in second. I lost head's up to Eva. I'm still tilting from that. But at least I finally got that stupid blank spot away under the money earned column. Jim from Riverchasers rounded out the top 3 payouts. I doubled checked the calendar and all BBT events are listed including MiamiDon's Blogger Big Game coming up the 20th.

The leaderboard has been updated and there are only two events this week. Plus, don't forget the blogger/reader Bracelet Race that is coming up this Sunday.

Tournament: Mondays at the Hoy (MATH)
Where: Full Tilt Poker
When: Monday. 10pm ET
Buyin: $24+2
Password: hammer

Tournament: The Mookie
Where: Full Tilt Poker
When: Wednesday. 10pm ET
Buyin: $10+1
Password: vegas1



~

Finally for some good reading after several hundred words of complete shit. Pauly has the latest edition of Truckin' up and posted. Enjoy.

1. 60 Hours in Amsterdam, Part I by Paul McGuire
I was worried that the Air France ticket agent in Nice was going to send my bags to Paris. He kept asking me if I was going to Paris and I responded with "Amsterdam" everytime he asked... More

2. Stuck in Monte Carlo by Otis Dart
It was actually the sea that I had stepped out on the balcony to see. I'd only been on the ground in Monte Carlo for a few hours. The moment I crashed into my room at the brand new Monte Carlo Bay Resort, I'd fallen into the most comfortable bed in the world... More

3. Emilio Estevez Loses His Tooth by BTreotch
Four minutes earlier, Emilio Estevez was beating his kid-brother Carlos while he was hog tied and strapped to the top rail of their swing set with cheap-itchy yellow rope... More

4. Confessions of a Man by Sigge S. Amdal
I should have asked her for a date. Any date at all. 4th of March, 6th of April, didn't really matter. As long as we could go and have a dinner, or see a movie or something. It's not like I'm craving a relationship, I've got too much to do already, but it stung inside of me knowing that I'd already lost a chance. A chance. Singular term. There could be more coming... More

5. A Grand Day Out by Susan Bently
On the other side of the road sat this German guy's car with a huge dent on the bonnet and his family sitting in the car, wife and children looking wide-eyed and pale. The bleeding carcass of a moose lay next to the car, dark patches of blood over the centerline... More

6. City of Sins by Clay Champlin
People head to Las Vegas for two reasons: salvation or condemnation. Those looking to be saved from their mundane Midwestern lives bask in the perpetual glow of the strip or gawk skyward at downtown's Freemont street experience... More

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