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Friday, April 13, 2007

Booze and Bracelet Races 

We attempted a nice slow evening last night, I swear to all the is holy. The camera was there but the only picture taken was of me from across the bar. We had our old friend Andrea show up to keep our boozy selves company. Andrea is famous for being the short term object of affection for a tuned up Otis at a Bash and then helping JDub with his bass. You can also check her out for about 30 seconds on the season finale of Bam's Unholy Union at the wedding. But you won't see me there because she wouldn't take me as her date. Thanks to her appearance, the shots started rolling with purpose and any thoughts of a slow night were crushed.

So we drank.

And nothing really exciting to report from it. Same as it always was. It's just now there is a 12 week old puppy waiting for his late night walk when I get home. My neighbors must love the sight and sounds of a drunken hippy walking a tired puppy then getting the drive heaves from handling puppy poo. They'll probably want to elect me king of the home owners association soon.

The highlight of the night, by far, was my late night conversation with my Texan Big Brother. So many times as a player and a blogger we are forced to deal with any number of raging assholes, tool bags, and fucknuts. People who take themselves way too seriously and need a healthy dose of 'shut the fuck up'. It's nice to be reminded of the good guys once in awhile. So I threw back some more booze and dialed him up. We talked it up for awhile and I'm pretty sure I made sense for most of the conversation. So cheers to Scott, balancing out the equation with the toolfools. I'm still waiting for his Mookie profile. Edit: and here it is.

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Hoy beat me to the punch this morning. I don't know how he does it. The private Blogger-only Bracelet Race is set up and ready to launch. For the small price of $24+2 and giving up your soul by having a blog, you can satellite yourself into the $1500 WSoP* event of your choice. The tournament information is below and it is ready for registration. This event is only open to active bloggers.

* I'm currently sticking both middle fingers up at you, Harrahs. Pricks.

Tournament name: Blogger Bracelet Race
When: Sunday, April 29th, 7pm ET
Game: NLHE Deepstack
Buyin: $24+2 or token
Password: email blogger_wsop@yahoo.com with blog URL for password

"But Al", you say, "You moronic bloggers are a bunch of exclusionist look-at-me-and-my-WSoP-Bracelet-Race douchebags. What about the readers!?!"

I'm glad my inner voice is talking to me because no one else will. But have no fear my smart friends (for those without blogs are smarter then us), I have something for you too. Why set up one private Bracelet Race when you can do two? So here you go, this tournament is open to bloggers/readers/stalkers/serial commenters. I might even get crazy and let Waffles come out and play. For entertainment purposes only of course.

Tournament name: Chasers/Blogger Bracelet Race
When: Sunday, May 13th, 7pm ET
Game: NLHE Deepstack
Buyin: $24+2 or token
Password: riverchasers

To clear questions up before I'm even asked, both tournaments will show with a regular MTT payout structure until we hit the $1500 prize pool mark.

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Don't forget about MiamiDon's Blogger Big Game this Sunday. This tournament counts towards the Battle of the Blogger Tournaments challenge and will have a very healthy prize pool. Remember to hit up the nightly 21"45 ET Token Frenzy MTT for your Tier 2 token (and the 19:45 ET Frenzy for Tier 1).

Tournament: Blogger Big Game
Where: Full Tilt Poker
When: Sunday, April 15th. 9:30pm ET
Buyin: $69+6 or token
Password: donkey

Cheers my friends, this weekend I continue my never ending search for the perfect porn site.

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Thursday, April 12, 2007

Alive again and The Fat Guy wins 

Every single thing in the universe conspired to keep me from playing in the Mookie last night. I was home well before noon with dreams of soccer moms and fluffy pillows in my head. Instead of getting any sleep, I came home to a psycho puppy, work, and more work. I have 4 hours of extra work to do today just to double check that I didn't royally fook something up during my semi-coma. No sense anyone dying because I lack the responsible gene to make me get proper sleep.

I finally crashed hard after 8pm and I woke up some time in the early morning to realize I was still fully clothed and the light was shining bright. I usually reserve this kind of stupidity for when I'm flat out wasted. Just a little peak into how my brain was working yesterday. It feels like I lost an entire day.

When I finally made my way back online this morning, I was happy to see another large turnout for The Mookie. 77 players including a blogger celebrity or three. I was even happier to see that Scott won the whole damned thing. He also won an original "blogger" tourney way back in the olden days when we bloggers were forced to type our posts up on old typewriters and wire them with Morse code to the home office. In honor of my Texas big brother winning, I'll give you a picture from the summer blogger gathering in 2005. Scott is the guy with Heather's tiara and his mug hidden behind a mug pint of beer. He should also get bonus points for knocking out Waffles who didn't even realize who he was playing. I really can't wait for his Mookie profile after his win.

I will make my triumphant (and unprofitable) return to the blogger tourneys on Sunday for MiamiDon's Blogger Big Game. Remember to hit up the Full Tilt token frenzy tournaments each night. Easy way to get your Tier 1 token for the Monday Hoy and Tier 2 token for the Big Game. The Tier 1 token frenzy is at 19:45 ET and the Tier 2 frenzy is at 21:45 ET. Good luck and hopefully I'll see you on Sunday. I'll be updating the Battle of the Blogger Tournaments leaderboard later today. * Updated now

Tournament: Blogger Big Game
Where: Full Tilt Poker
When: Sunday, April 15th. 9:30pm ET
Buyin: $69+6 or token
Password: donkey

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The combined age of the starting pitchers in the Mariners/Red Sox game last night was 47. The starting pitchers for today's Phillies/Mets tilt? 86 years young. That's some old fart pitchers today. Time to put away the radar gun and pull out the abacus.

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Tonight continues the BigMike Birthday Bender with another late night trip to the Boathouse and bars beyond. The phone is charged for any random dial-a-shots and I'll probably be throwing away multiple buyins at the micro-limit tables. Look for me late and get in for the free money giveway that I call my poker game.

And when the hell is summer getting here? I'd settle for spring at this point. I can almost feel the summer breeze here pushing us back down to the shore. Is it beach time yet?

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Wednesday, April 11, 2007

End of the Bender 

Consider this a warning. The following is the rambling of a mad man who hasn't slept in over 24 hours. Those 24 hours contained little food and much booze. Between the start of the post and now, I managed to pass out on the crapper a few times. I have no idea if it makes sense and I don't care to re-read. So move along somewhere else if you must, I won't be offended.

As much as I keep saying that I'm losing my mind, today might prove to be that final straw. I've begun having hallucinations and I can't remember whether I've consumed my daily ration of pork products yet*. I started writing this post shortly after watching the lovely sunrise from across a conference room table here at work. I knew I needed to get into work early today, it was on the schedule. 3 in the morning just for shits and giggles. What I didn't count on was a BigMike birthday bender that would last until a mere 2 hours before the alarm was set to go off.

Hangovers suck. They really suck when you go from buzzing to hungover without the sweet ignorance of sleep. It's easy enough to go 36 hours without sleep in Vegas, don't those fookers pump straight oxygen into the casinos? I went from home to work to the bar and back to work with just a short visit home to freshen up and do some reading. I didn't even try to get some sleep. There's no way I wake up if I put my head down.

The bottomless rocks glass of Southern Comfort made it's triumphant return last night filling quickly and often. Did i mention that I forgot to eat yesterday? Take it from me. Never let a little thing like nutrition get in the way of some good boozin'.

I'll probably be dead and crashed by the time most of you read this. I hope I wake in enough time to play the Mookie. Too play it safe, I'm going to super glue my cell phone to my forehead and set the alarm on vibrate. That should do the trick.

Happy Birthday to BigMike, hopefully I wake up early enough for some Wild Boar and more bar time this evening.

* Bacon intake confirmed mid-way through this post. Twice. *

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Take some time for a hop on over to Dr. Pauly and congratulate him on his new gig. He's hit the big time and now works for the Worldwide Leader as their poker correspondent. It couldn't happen to a nicer guy and I look forward to the first byline from Dr. Pauly on ESPN.com. Imagine the insider dirt he should be able to get now at the WSoP*.

Conrats my friend and good luck.

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Token Frenzy

Token Frenzy

I should keep repeating that phrase until it clicks in your head. You should be hitting these nightly token frenzies on Full Tilt for the easiest way to pick up tokens for bigger events. The fields are ridiculously soft and the play is horrible. How bad is the play and how soft are they? Soft enough that I got my Big Game token on my first frenzy last night while sitting at the bar with a belly full. Need more proof? Waffles and I were in the top 5 for a large chunk of the tournament.

Hoy had a great idea and I concur. I think we should make a huge run at these MTT's and grab as many as we can. That should make for one hell of a prize pool and player lineup for the Blogger Big Game this Sunday.

See you tonight at the Mookie and hopefully another token frenzy. I have a bounty on my head this evening for the Mookie that only gets bigger as the number of entrants go up. I'll let Mookie explain because I seem to have forgotten what I told him last night. But it seemed pretty sweet in my mind.

Cheers

Tournament: The Mookie
Where: Full Tilt Poker
When: Wednesday. 10pm ET
Buyin: $10+1
Password: vegas1

Tournament: Blogger Big Game
Where: Full Tilt Poker
When: Sunday, April 15th. 9:30pm ET
Buyin: $69+6 or token
Password: donkey

* Eat shit Harrah's mother f!#$^!@ers. Breathe.

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Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Demon Spawn and MiamiDon 

"A wicked person, swayed by evil motives and evil actions, is described as a demon."
Our own person little demon was missing for many many months. It is an ugly creature full of evil and decent. It masks itself inside the shell of a female human but is easily recognized for it's true nature. For months we haven't had to deal with it around the Boathouse until last Thursday. The monster caught our scent early though the bar was completely packed and I couldn't see the person two spots down. The first attempt at contact was thwarted mercifully by the massive throng between us. But the monster is a crafty patient thing.

It goes by many names. Legion, hell spawn, or horse-humping-hose-beast. A succubus in name only because it lacks the looks and subtly. One who just sucks the souls of unwilling men. We just call her The Zebra from the tales of our past. Every few months it will crawl out from under whatever rock she happens to be married to at that point and destroy whatever cosmic bonus points you have built up. Buy it drinks, it won't go away. Ignore it and it gets pissy. And won't go away. I even took a big karmic chance and passed it off on to a friend only to have the torture come back to me threefold. What kind of monster gets furious at a poor guy passed out on the deck after his own "I'm off to Iraq" going away party?

This cock juggling thunder c*nt is evil and should be destroyed but I fear that is not possible. We thought we rid ourselves of it once before. Once, Pauly caught it on film molesting a poor passed out blogger at a Bash. A blogger from DC who really likes his kickball. I have that picture. It is my talisman against the thing that walks amongst us in a lady monster suit.

I've been on tilt ever since. Since I first thought about writing this down, my laptop has crashed twice, the network completely shit the bed, and my bacon was undercooked. Undercooked! Hopefully it will stay hidden for another 12 months but I'm not counting on it. She/it got a taste of fresh meat on Thursday.

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ALL SLEEP AND NO BOOZE MAKE AL GO LOOPY
ALL SLEEP AND NO BOOZE MAKE AL GO LOOPY
ALL SLEEP AND NO BOOZE MAKE AL GO LOOPY
ALL SLEEP AND NO BOOZE MAKE AL GO LOOPY

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MiamiDon is just showing off now. 4 tournaments played in the Battle of the Blogger Tournaments and here are his stats: 4 times in the points, 3 times in the money, 3 final tables, 2 wins. That's pretty damned sick. I might have to make an offer to Jordan for our wager. Pay me double the bet now, we'll call everything off, and it will never ever be mentioned again.

I played horribly last night. Again never getting comfortable and playing like an uber-tight pansy. Maybe it's the lack of booze or because I play the MATH from home instead of the bar. I snuck into the points but nothing major. Hoy attracted another huge crowd. 52 players with $1,248 in the prize pool. We've pulled $360 in the rake pool after just 4 events and are on pace to get around $3,500 back from Full Tilt at the end. That makes for a great payoff to the leaderboard and a nice sized freeroll at the end.

Below are the next two events come up. Be sure and hit up those Token Frenzy daily tournaments. They are super juicy and MiamiDon's Blogger Big Game is this weekend.

Tournament: The Mookie
When: Wednesday. 10pm ET
Buyin: $10+1
Password: vegas1

Tournament: Blogger Big Game
When: Sunday, April 15th. 9:30pm ET
Buyin: $69+6 or token
Password: donkey

And stayed tuned.... Blogger Bracelet Race announcement coming up this week.

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Monday, April 09, 2007

Reading, writing, and MATH 

After a crazy hectic Thursday night, this weekend I flew under the radar and kept my head low. So low I ended up missing Kat's $1 rebuy madness Friday night even though I was on the tables before it began. I spent Friday and Saturday between gambooling, puppy playing, cleaning up old shows on the DVR (down to 60% capacity thank you very much), and catching up on my reading.

I go through spurts where I read non-stop but then lose steam. I now have 6 books queued up after finishing one this weekend. Three of these I need to get cracking on. Band of Brothers, The Tender Bar (BG or JoeSpeaker recommendation which has been sitting cold for awhile), and Dead Money which the auther Rudy Stegemoeller sent my way to review. My brain is back in reading mode so if you have any more recommendations, let me have 'em in comments.

Sunday was spent with the family units. Large amounts of roasted meats and vegetables backed up by too many sweets. Time was spent in the backyard playing catch with the nephew where I had flashbacks to my younger days as he plastered a few fastballs firmly upon the siding on the back of the house. Must be nice to be the grandson. I'm assuming that's the only reason my mother didn't come screaming out of the house to tell the kids to knock it off. I would have been a dead man back in the olden days of yore.

I also ate my weight in picked beets. Most people can't stand them, but they provide this odd comforting feeling of being young and having not a problem in the world.

After watching countless hours of Disney World video replays from their January trip, I made it back to the safe zone of my lazyboy just in enough time to catch back to back Planet Earth episodes and the Sopranos premier. Good days and good timing.

Now it's back to the old grind of work, booze, poker, and slow painful death. I wouldn't miss this for the world either. Sometimes it's a jar of beets, sometimes it's a big ol' bottle of Southern Comfort. Odd choices for an odd person.

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Stop on over and give your congrats to Flipchip at LasVegasVegas. He earned himself a seat in that big main event poker tournament being held at the Rio that everyone knows about. (WORLD SERIES OF POKER, there I said it and a big fuck you to Harrah's). He won a satellite at good old Sam's Town, home of the original WPBT live event way back in December aught 4. Now someone else will have to cheat the system to get the best photos during the Main Event.

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For those not aware of why I send a big "eff you" to Harrah's, any affiliate on Full Tilt Poker received the following information via email.
With the World Series of Poker a little less than two months away, Harrah's has recently introduced new guidelines regarding the use of its trademark and logos in online and off-line advertising for the event. Violation of these rules could result in our Full Tilt Poker pros and online qualifiers being prevented from wearing our logo at any of this year's televised tournaments, which is why we are asking that you fully read and follow these new guidelines.

Specifically, as a Full Tilt Poker affiliate, YOU MAY NOT:

* Use either the WSOP's poker chip logo or stacked logo, or any image of a WSOP bracelet in any of your advertising or in any communications to your players.
* You may not use the words World Series of Poker or the WSOP acronym in the official names or headlines of any contests or promotions you are running on your site, or in the titles of any websites, pages, press releases, advertisements, or articles.
* The words 'World Series of Poker' and the 'WSOP' acronym may not be used more than TWO TIMES EACH PAGE in any written material, whether online or off-line, provided that use is part of a textual sentence.
* All usage of the words World Series of Poker* or WSOP* must be marked with an ASTERISK (*), and the following disclaimer must appear on every page where these terms are used, in a location and type size that is reasonably likely to be seen and read by consumers: World Series of Poker and WSOP are trademarks of Harrah's License Company, LLC ("Harrah's"). Harrah's does not sponsor or endorse, and is not associated or affiliated with, ________ [company name] or its products, services, promotions or tournaments.
God bless the corporations and all that they stand for.

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The Battle of the Blogger Tournaments starts back up again this evening. The MATH event kicks off at 10pm ET for $24+2 or a token. Hoy has also increased the starting chipstack to 3000 for the bigger buyin. The leaderboard is up to date (and soon to be beautified by Kat), the links are getting corrected, and be sure to check out the calendar on the BBT site for upcoming events.

Cheers and I'll see you at the tables.

Tournament: Mondays at the Hoy (MATH)
When: Monday 10pm ET
Game: NLHE - Deepstack
Buyin: $24+2 or token
Password: hammmer

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