Friday, April 06, 2007

Blind squirrel finds a nut 

So how the hell does someone miss their own tournament? Naturally it involved mass quantities of alcohol consumption but this time it happened to be someone else. Shocking.

The bar was mobbed when we made our entrance. Apparently I missed the memo that declared the Thursday before Good Friday as the new amateur night. There were too many swinging dicks and elementary ed students blocking our access to our drinks. I have found that if you fire enough shots down their throat, they peter out quickly. We crushed our way through the standard Thursday night trivia game and I was getting ready to login for the Riverchasers game.

Until I couldn't get a wifi connection. Perfect time for their routers to go down in the bar. Easy enough to fix, just a quick run home and I should still have chips left.

Then we noticed a friend losing his battle with gravity. There was a happy hour drinkfest for a friend and coworker who is getting deployed to Iraq soon. The shots were flowing. Snakebites, three wisemen, and a wolf pussy. I'll bet that's a shot you've never heard of. Around the time I was getting ready to fire up the laptop, we saw he wasn't doing well and a passout was imminent. None of the guys who were his ride could be found so Landow and I took turns making sure he was ok. We tracked down his ride after many calls.

By the time we got him hooked up and carried to the parking lot, the Riverchasers game was well underway. There was nothing I could do about it at that point. I made a few calls to check my status and do some dial-a-shots. Sean and MiamiDon were both drinking well right along with me and they told me that my dead stack made the points after I rivered an all-in 4 flush. The Blind Squirrel Theorem.

So that's how one misses the tournament they are hosting. Bad wifi and making sure a friend wasn't abandoned.

Congrats to Pattakake for winning last night and MiamiDon for making another final table. StB also made the final table giving me two more in my wager with Jordan. It almost doesn't seem fair at this point.

I'll have the leaderboard updated on the Battle of the Blogger Tournaments site.

Cheers and I'll see you Monday for the MATH.


Thursday, April 05, 2007

Don't Play Drunk! Episode #652 

This terrible rambling post is brought to by the effects of Southern Comfort. Reader beware.

Even though I said I planned to go hide in a bottle of booze last night, I was only semi-serious. I certainly didn't need a repeat of last Thursday and we were just going out for a few drinks. When Landow left to go play some soccah, BigMike turned and asked me if I had any specific time to get home. That clued me in that I would playing the Mookie from the bar and with a belly full of booze. God bless bartender Billy, he seems to take offense if the bottom of my rocks glass is visible.

And that didn't happen very often.

I fired up the laptop while watching this year's nominee for Mother of the Year drag her two young kids to the bar. The young'ns were sitting at a table in the no-smoking section with their coloring books while mama was knocking back pints of beer with gusto. Before I said anything I would regret at the police station, the internet came to my distraction.

First up I tracked down Waffles to see how his cash game was progressing. I found him sitting at a .25/.50 PLHE 9-handed game and he seemed to be doing well. Not long after I started sweating him, he got hit with a monster hand worthy of a Waffles rant. He didn't have to lay much crap on the poor guy very long, for I was Drunken Al The Berater. Feel free to tag this fish for harvesting later. He deserves it. I know you hate hand histories and I hate hand histories, but here is the first half chopped up to the naugty bits. It goes POT, POT, POT, ALLIN!

Full Tilt Poker Game #2139062190: Table Proud Eagle - $0.25/$0.50 - Pot Limit Hold'em
Seat 7: YZF1000 ($20.25)
Seat 8: SirFWALGMan ($51.70)

*** HOLE CARDS ***

Dealt to SirFWALGMan [Kh Kd]

FEIGN calls $0.50
YZF1000 raises to $1
SirFWALGMan raises to $4
FEIGN folds
YZF1000 raises to $13
SirFWALGMan raises to $40
YZF1000 calls $7.25, and is all in
SirFWALGMan shows [Kh Kd]
YZF1000 shows [Tc Ah]
Do I need to post the rest of it? I give Waffles endless amounts of shit for no other reason then I enjoy it and because he gives it right back. I have to say it was something spectacular to see one of his Waffle-beats in person. I stuck my head back into the bottle and waited for the Mookie to kickoff.

And it kicked off with a bang and a buzz. A record 78 players showed up for his tournament. Plenty of new and old 'faces'. I wasn't real happy with my first table. The old adage from Rounders was in play for me because I was the sucker at the table. There were some top notch players looking at my drunk ass like a grade A prime chunk of meat.

Seat 1: FishyMcDonK
Seat 2: JL514
Seat 3: NightRanger
Seat 4: Bone_Daddy84
Seat 5: BadBlood
Seat 6: brdweb
Seat 7: cracknaces
Seat 8: Easycure
Seat 9: AlCantHang

I started off on fire early and FishyMcDonk got a taste of my weak ass game. I doubled up on the very first hand (KQ is the new nutz!) through no skill of my own. Encouraging words from MiamiDon in the girlie chat, "do something with those chips tonite!" because I failed to do just that during the MATH tourney on Monday. It wasn't meant to be. Soon we turned into the table of death. A player would fill an empty seat and quickly be busted. 30 minutes into the tournament and we had 3 of the top 5 chip stacks at our table making to going tougher than normal.

I played my standard horrible game and fluctuated between 3k and 6k for the first few hours. I knocked out quite a few with my horrendous calls and I hit most of my coin flips. I also spent time on the phone doing dial-a-shots with Daddy and Garth who were attempting to drink every drop of booze in the DC area. Things were chugging along nicely until...

LAST CALL! Fuckin' aye.

I needed to pay the tab, shutdown the laptop, and get back home before my decent sized stack went the way of the doodoo bird. By the time I got back in I was down to T1555 at the 250/500/50 level. Found JJ on the very first hand. Not enough chips to push out the weak aces and lost to a runner/runner straight. 16th out 78 players and 7 places from the money.

As always, it was a great time at the Mookie with good play (except for myself) and good rail chatter. MiamiDon took his own advice and went on to win back-to-back Mookie's. Very impressive and, dare I say, somewhat Dan Harrington-esque.

The Battle of the Blogger Tournaments site has been updated with the current leader board plus the results of the first two events. Check the right side links. I'll be improving the TLB and results page when I have half a second this weekend.

Feel free to swing on by tonight for event number 3. I will once again be playing from the bar so I apologize in advance for the bad beats and bad play. Come take my chips.

Tournament: Riverchasers Online Tour
Where: Full Tilt Poker
When: Thursday. 9pm ET
Buyin: $10+1
Password: riverchasers7


Run now, go say happy 40th birthday to DrChako.


Finally, "Down goes Frazier!"

Uncalled bet of $19.75 returned to SirFWALGMan

*** FLOP *** [8s Td 8h]
*** TURN *** [8s Td 8h] [Ac]
*** RIVER *** [8s Td 8h Ac] [Jh]

SirFWALGMan shows two pair, Kings and Eights
YZF1000 shows two pair, Aces and Tens
YZF1000 wins the pot ($39.45) with two pair, Aces and Tens


Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Cuckoo for Cocopuffs 

My decent into insanity has been well documented and witnessed by quite a few people. Work, booze, poker, work (worth mentioning twice), and various other things have done a great disservice to my mental well being over the past year. I've been driven there on occasion but most times I just get there all on my own. I'm seriously looped. Today I want to shove myself a lobotomy to get this damned song out of my head.

It's peanut butter jelly time,
Peanut butter jelly time,
Peanut butter jelly time,
Peanut butter jelly time....

Non fucking stop.

Don't know where it came from, don't know how to get it going somewhere else. I've blasted my ears out with everything from Rage Against the Machine to Public Enemy. Nothing is helping. Suicide, homicide, or some other -cide is certainly pending. Right now the only option seems to be a Soco dunking of mass proportions. Who's with me?

At least my kids aren't having sex in front of their classmates. Stay classy New Orleans! And where the hell where those girls when I was in fifth grade?


I'm on a dial-a-shot roll this week and looking for more tonight. Monday night I got a call from a very happy Drizz at the Bellagio. He seemed to be well into his Cap'n Cokes but not nearly wheelchair bound yet. I'm sure he was very happy with his monster wager on Florida for the NCAA finals.

Yesterday I received a call from MeanGene. It was the middle of the afternoon and he called to rub it in. He was sitting in a new Irish pub, drinking something dark, and watching the Liverpool Champions League match. Meanwhile I was stuck humping along at my god awful job. Dark thoughts abound.

But Daddy no longer calls. He must have moved on to bigger and better dial-a-shot.


Tonight is event #2 in the long marathon that will be the Battle of the Blogger Tournaments. The weekly Mookie tournament has always been one of my favorite events due to the buyin and large fields. Always fun watching Waffles go apeshit on an unsuspecting player or letting Fuel rip on me because he didn't have the forethought to get shitfaced pre-tournament. Always a good time.

To confirm what commenter Golden Richards asked, these tournaments are open to everyone.

Can we reach the 100 player mark for two $1,000 prize pools to start off the challenge?


Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Good start and some linkage 

It was a fine start to the Battle of the Blogger Tournament challenge last night. About 3 hours before the start I saw that MATH was up to 20 players and it was looking good. Getting closer to the start I girlie-chatted with Hoy and quipped semi-seriously that we just might hit enough players for a $1,000 prize pool. Sure enough, there was a run of buyins at the last moment and we kicked off with 47 players and $1,128 in the pool.

For some reason I never felt totally comfortable at my table. I spent too much time chatting up other tables and keeping up with the others. I got lucky pretty early to triple up with AQs TPTK against a flush draw to take a temporary chip lead. At one point Waffles and I were 1/2 in chips but that can never end well. I played a weak ass game unable to get into my comfort zone and finish a very mediocre 20th out of 47 when my almighty hammer was cracked by the eventual winner.

IslandBum1, ScottMc, and Wes chopped evenly after playing nearly an hours 3 handed with ebbs and flows in the chip count but no one going away. They played out for the challenge points with IslandBum1, a newcomer as near as I could tell, winning top points. My bet with Jordan started off well with both Wes and Columbo making top 4. Bayne, MiamiDon, and Mookie also made the points. Mike from pokeronamac.com has made it his mission to defend the Nintendo systems he's putting up. I look forward to against him often. We even had an appearance from blogger legend Scott who looks to use the challenge to get his tourney legs back under him and play some blogger events.

It was a excellent way to start what we hope is a great challenge to find the top players in the blogger hosted events. $94 in the juice-back pot right off the bat makes me happy also. I'll have the Tournament Leader Board ready to go over on the challenge blog sometime this afternoon and will update it after each event. If you see your name on their and your blog is not linked, just drop a line in the comments.


4 links to get you through the day...

- I'm always floating around them there interwebs looking for pics to keep the boys coming back for more, this time I'm just going to give you 500 at a time. Take your time boys, there are plenty to go around. CLICK ME! (the set is work safe unless you work in Amish country but I don't suppose you'd be surfing if you were).

- The lovely Gracie hit me with this link knowing I would 1) spooge my pants and 2) spread the link around to the masses. Here you have it. Hot dogs. Stuffed with cheese, wrapped in bacon. Grilled THEN deep fried with beer batter. Sweet merciful crap.

- Biggest. Beer. Bong. Ever.

- Finally. Alanis Morissette comes out of her maudlin shell to record a cover and film a video version of the Fergie/Black Eyed Peas anti-classic My Humps. Instant classic.


Cheers and we'll see you tomorrow night at the Mookie

Tournament: The Mookie
Where: Full Tilt Poker
When: Wednesday. 10pm ET
Buyin: $10+1
Password: vegas1


Monday, April 02, 2007

Booze, Wagers, and the BBT Kickoff 

After spending the last four weekends blowing my brain out with booze, this weekend was spent in quiet introspection as I watched basketball and caught up on my DVR recordings. I played a few tournaments here and there with breakeven results. I donked out in Acornman's UK blogger event yesterday when I became distracted by nekkid beauties dancing across my screen.

It was nice to go a few days without doing anything really stupid. I've become quite the expert at moronic activies and pressing my luck right up to the edge. Thursday was no exception and those stories will have to wait until I am sitting at the bar drinking with you. Some things just don't get blogged. I did have a great time at in impromptu blogger mini-table that night. By the end of my donating I was paying more attention to the female Tool lover sitting next to me at the bar than the poker table. I don't really want to go back to look at the hand history and realize how many all-ins I called with junk because only 2% of my attention was on the table . Hopefully I was giving my money to bloggers instead of the trolling bottom feeders who lined up on the waiting list looking to hit the ACHE lottery.

Then several hours after the blogger game and I found myself....

You'll just have to buy me a shot sometime and find out.


I think I found a sure fire way to boost traffic to my site.

I'll post these for the guys. And these for the girls.


Thanks to everyone who has shown interest in the Battle of the Blogger Tournaments. It was really just an idea I kicked around with Mookie a couple months ago and set in motion after a few Cap'n Cokes with Hoyazo in Atlantic City. I'm looking for some top of the line competition and hells fire smack talking. Maybe someone can back Waffles just for entertainment purposes?. It all kicks off tonight with a New MATH on Full Tilt at 10pm. $24+2 or token and my free money is already registered.

I also needed to come up with my 8 player roster for Jordan's bet. It was a tough call because I'm not sure exactly who will be playing in most of the events. The eternal question of quality versus quantity. I really wanted to put Smokkee and Gnome on my list but wasn't sure how many tournaments they would play. When it's all said and done, here's the list I came up for my wager in random order.


Come on guys, hook a brother up.

See you at the tables tonight.

Tournament #15938486
Tournament: Mondays at the Hoy
When: Monday 10pm ET
Game: NLHE
Buyin: $24+2 or token
Password: hammmer