Friday, February 09, 2007

Your weekend reading list 

Below is a list of sites you should be reading instead of popping in here just to see if I've fallen off the wagon yet. Or to see if I have new pictures of women in various stages of undress (I'm looking at you Scarlett Johanson). Or to hear the story of Landow demolishing my ass in Chinese Poker at the bar last night. Seriously, was tabling boat-boat-kings really necessary when already crushing me?

I'll be tracking down a private party this weekend at the boathouse that should be chock full o' young ones. Landow and I are bringing two cameras. Maybe even some video evidence. BobbyBoathouse has been warned.

So click the links below, read and support.

- JoeSpeaker has a writeup from the US/Mexico friendly. Good stuff. Mexico, held scoreless in the last 8 matches on US soil. Still whining that they have a better side and that whole Texas thing.

- For those who haven't heard, Jen Leo and AussieSchecky will be forming the next great poker power couple. Amy has a nice writeup over on Pokerworks.

- I actually stopped a second to work and found this story over on Deadspin.
"A volunteer waitress and a widowed great-grandmother who tends bar at the Lake Elsinore Elks Lodge are due in court later this month after pleading not guilty to misdemeanor charges of operating an illegal gambling operation.

Margaret Hamblin, 73, and 39-year-old Cari Gardner, who donates her time as a waitress at the lodge, face up to one year in jail and a $5,000 fine for allegedly running a $50 football pool at the facility, the Press-Enterprise reported."
Still feeling good about that Neteller money when grandma is getting busted over a $50 football pool? As BigMike said, I give up, the terrorists have won.


Pauly has the latest issue of Truckin' up and published. Check them out.

February 2007, Vol. 7, Issue 1

1. Big Day Out by Paul McGuire
We did not have a hotel room in Surfer's Paradise with fewer than 18 hours before we were scheduled to board a flight to Coolangota Airport on Australia’s Gold Coast. We were caught up with work in Melbourne and waited to the last minute to book a room... More

2. A.M. by Nick Cantwell
Disoriented at first, then a realization. Lisa. No Liz. Yeah that's it - Liz. She's naked. Sound asleep... More

3. My Clog by Gracie Logan
When my film's start time drew near, my clogs and I said good-bye to the sunny afternoon. We purchased one ticket (my clogs travel free) and entered the inviting cool darkness that is the lobby of the Music Box Theatre... More

4. Emilio Estevez Is Born by BTreotch
Joe Estevez was in a pickle, he knew Janet was in the midst of some invisible shrimp tickle. Scooping her into his arms, Joe got an erection and asked where the ladies room was... More

5. Title by May B. Yesno
On the inside boiled and roiled the heathenish and brutal trail of mangled flesh, from every direction, tokens of small bottles of human - and sometimes, from the early days, animals - blood... More

If you are around this Sunday, here's where I'll be in the afternoon. Grab a token or buyin and join the deepstack HORSE fun.

Cheers, have a good weekend.

Name: Riverchasers.com Special Event #1
When: Sunday February 11th, 2007 2 pm ET
Game: H.O.R.S.E Deepstack
Buyin: $24+2 or token
password: riverchasers


Thursday, February 08, 2007

The New Anti-Christ (same as the old Anti-Christ) 

"Today, (Yoko) Ono is still widely misunderstood in popular context. Her work as a musician and songwriter is criminally overlooked and under-appreciated for reasons that can be chalked up to the same sexism, racism, scapegoat hood, and plain ol' ignorance she was originally addressing and combating 34 years ago."

Suicide Girl News Wire
I subscribed to the RSS feed for the Suicide Girls News Wire awhile back. Mostly because friend o' bloggers Slick Willy writes for them as a Geek editor and I'm kinda fond of chicks with the tats and piercings. Their news wire keeps me up to date on some musical news that the mainstream media shies away from. That's also why I subscribe to the feed for Blabbermouth. Where else can I find out that Metal Church found a new drummer, John Bush isn't ready to commit to Anthrax again, and Buck Cherry is playing on Leno March 2nd?

But then I came across this post about a new CD Yoko Ono is putting out which caused me pause. Someone at Suicide Girls actually wrote out the words, and I sure as hell hope it was with tongue firmly planted in cheek, "Her work as a musician and songwriter is criminally overlooked and under-appreciated...". Criminally?

I personally think she sounds like a cat being tortured and should be condemned to spend eternity as Saddam Hussein's dick cozy. I wish I had the stones to actually download some of her music for you but I might get flagged by big brother as some sort of reprobate. I contacted several high level music critics for their response to the post and give me a quote. Here are their thoughts.

"The only difference between Yoko Ono and a bowling ball is that Yoko Ono has a horizontal vagina." - Daddy

"Or that she's a shrill harpy who broke up the Beatles?" - The Boy Genius

"I'm don't hate Yoko Ono for taking John Lennon away from The Beatles. I hate her for keeping him away from Cheap Trick." - ScubaSteve (bonus points from Steve if you actually get his quote.)

"She should be a washy washy girl." - BigMike

There you have it. Straight from the mouths of the experts. More thoughts on the subject, comment away?


Thanks to everyone who came out to the Hammer Day Event. Mookie gets most of the credit for the turnout because of the solid base of regular players in his Wednesday Mookie events made it easy to draw a large number of players. 158 is ridiculously large number for one of the events. Of all those players, I ended sitting at a table with two local regular home game players, FatAssBob and Royce. Between the running around to tables to chat as a proper 'host', I think I managed to find my way into a half dozen hands. But not before I hung this one on a couple players.

In true Waffles "any-crap-I-play-is-the-nutz" style, I open/raised then got over 5 to 1 to call when two shorties went in afterwards. (crying call of the Lemur, "I HAD ODDS!") I apologized to them before I even called. I managed to fold/limp/pussy my way into the money during my multi-tasking functions.

Unfortunately, St. Grubby was not able to attend the tournament in his honor. In confidence he told me that he was deep in the dungeons creating a slot machine based on The Hammer. Or he was otherwise occupied. One or the other.

Congrats to Gary who has now made the money in all three events this year and jumped to the top of the leaderboard.

Again, thanks to Mookie, everyone who played, and everyone who pimped. It was a great time.

Look forward to 7/2/2007 for the next Hammer event. Assuming online poker hasn't gone the way of the Dodo bird, I'll be setting up a $2.70 rebuy tourney for that date.


There are a few people I've met via this stupid corner of the interuniverse that I consider friends. Some that I can call (and have, repeatedly.) when things haven't been going well or I need to blow off steam. Some are people I'd fly across the country or ocean just to sit down at a bar for a few hours of booze induced craziness. Some are so talented that I just want to shut down this steaming pile of ooze.

Otis is one of those guys. I'm a little late in pimping his last two masterpieces. Please go check them out now. You may never come back here.

The Last Poker Game

The Syndicate


Before I get to pimping two more tourneys, I found this picture floating around the net. Now I really wish I made the trip down to Tunica. Click on the picture at your own risk.

I love me some southern girls.


Tonight CC is throwing his Thursday night Bash (my fingers keep wanting to type Bash at the Boathouse) over on PokerStars. Unfortunately I won't be able to make it thanks to Bill Frist and the fact that my entire roll is sitting over on Full Tilt. I'll pop in for some railbirding after we when the Boathouse trivia contest tonight.

Name: CC's Thursday Bash
Where: Pokerstars
When: Thursday, 9:30pm ET
Buyin: $10+1
password: pokerworks

For anyone looking to add a weekend donkey tournament to their list, I'll be throwing a Sunday afternoon for Riverchasers. A deepstack $24+2 or token H.O.R.S.E event at 2pm ET. Stop on out if you've got the time, money, or token.

Name: Riverchasers.com Special Event #1
When: Sunday February 11th, 2007 2 pm ET
Game: H.O.R.S.E Deepstack
Buyin: $24+2 or token
password: riverchasers


Wednesday, February 07, 2007

St. Grubby's Day aka Hammer Day 

I fully intended to fill up my corner of the blog world on this holy pokerblog day with fabled stories of hammers dropped and grown men crying. I was going to give a telling of the history so that those who come behind us will know the origins of the Hammer.

But then I snapped out of it when I realized someone much better than myself already has it written. Pauly has a fine post with some fine stories and history. How many current bloggers knew that Grubby first brought the hammer mystic to the blogger pages? Did you ever compete in one of the early Grubby Hammer challenges? I would dare to say that most of the current bloggers did not know of this when it was going on and may not have even been playing our beloved game at the time.

The following is blatantly stolen from Dr. Pauly's St. Grubby's Day post.

The Hammer

Definition: 7-2o
Creator/Credit: Grubby

The specific definition of the Hammer is 7-2o played out of the blinds for a preflop raise. 72s is the "Suited Hammer" although I've often referred to 72s as the "Swedish Hammer."

The Hammer came from one of Grubby's home games back in DC before he moved to Las Vegas. One regular played 7-2o a lot and the other players decided to call that hand the Hammer because it happened to be that guy's last name.

When I first started reading poker blogs in late 2002, there were less than a dozen. Grubby's The Poker Grub was one that I read everyday because his sense of humor and excellent writing skills made him an instant favorite read of mine. I couldn't wait to read about how many SNGs in a row Grubby played before going to bed or what he ate at Wendy's that day.

Grubby also held cool contests on his blog like the Hammer Challenge. If you got 7-2o online and played it in any ring game, won it at showdown, and typed "Hammer!" into the chat, you would won the jackpot if you emailed Grubby the hand history. The progressive jackpot started at $5 and increased $5 everyday until it was hit, capping at $250. Grubby also threw in a wallet and a T-shirt to the winner. He only held few of them, and every possible poker blogger did their best to drop the Hammer during the ring games. Intrepid Card Player, Stick & Move, and The Poker Penguin each won Grubby's Hammer Challenge. The longest it went was almost 2 weeks when the Poker Penguin won $65. It was usually cracked in 3 or 4 days.

"I knew The Hammer officially made it when I saw it mentioned on Wikipedia," Grubby said in a recent interview with the NPR.

The Hammer is also a philosophy and a reminder that especially in No Limit, you do not need playable cards to win. Playing the Hammer and showing it is also a great way to mix up your playing style and getting other players on tilt in the process.

The Hammer has become a mantra for some bloggers, a part of the logo for the unofficial logo for the WPBT, and an original contribution to the world of poker. I will get wicked goosebumps the day I hear it announced during a televised poker tournament.
I can't believe there was a time when it would go so long between bloggers dropping the hammer on unsuspecting fish. It's become the bane of blogger existence ever since.

I met Grubby the same place/time as Pauly. We were having late morning drinks at the Borgata when Grubby finally drug his ass down from his room. We spent hours on the same poker table where he brutally out played me but I more than made it up by getting him plastered on rum and cokes. We finished the 'night' by ordering a $12 shortstack of pancakes and some drunk hippy (not me) slot machines. Pauly links to a story about that night at the table where I put Pauly on tilt for awhile but also made some kid cry at the table. Grubby was in disbelief as the kid pulled the hoody over his head and sobbed for an entire orbit.

So cheers to the man who introduced "The Hammer" into the blogger lexicon. St. Grubby, the patron saint of the 72o. Check out Pauly's post for more stories and the True Hollywood Story of The Hammer.


What kind of nuge accidentally deletes 95% of his mp3 files while cleaning up his laptop?

Me, the douche.


I can't imagine what kind of silliness is going to go down this evening. I'll be wearing my teflon-graphite-titanium sack protector tonight online. This could get ugly. Cheers.


Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Super Bowl, Super Poker, Super Ugly 

"When you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose; it's how drunk you get."

Matt Groening
If I told you I spent this weekend in 2 different bars, played in 3 home poker games, and watched the Super Bowl without a drink harder than a RedBull Friday, would you believe me? Have I completely lost my mind way on the road to redemption.

I think so.


The Friday night plan was to celebrate Landow's birthday for the 12th time but the happy hour quickly turned into a bar crawl. We hit the downstairs of bar number one and it seemed someone might have dropped a steaming pile of crap somewhere in the bar and no one bothered to fumigate the place. At least that's how it smelled to me and I'm sticking to it. It was retched.

We made the move over to the boathouse. Always the fallback of choice for our group of degenerates and malcontents. Unfortunately my camera stayed firmly in it's place due to lack of talent in the room. There seemed to be an ugly convention in town.

Yet another disclaimer. I am not a man burdened with the stress of good looks. I feel overly qualified to judge levels of ugliness. I see it in the mirror every day.

After a few hours of running up my bartab on shots for those worthy, Landow decided he had enough of staring down death in spandex and called for an impromptu shorthanded cash game. I couldn't get my tab paid fast enough to get out the door for some pizza and poker. That's where my life has gone, looking forward to pizza. Someone help me.

I donked into doubling up my stack by 3am while the 5 handed table became a battle to see who could push more chips into the other stacks. I managed to stay out of trouble. Astonishing, I know. 5 o'clock in the morning I found myself sober, online playing poker, and annoying the neighbors with Metal Mania playing at unlawful volume levels.


SuperBowl Sunday. Time for poker, 5 gallons of chilli, and some irresponsible gambling. We played 6 hours of NLHE with seats opening all the time because of people busting out. I can't exactly say it was poker that was being played. The gambling bug seemed to have hit everyone on this most precious of the non-religious, non-patriotic national holidays. Hammers were dropped with impunity including a monster Crusher on me by the Boy Genius my first hand rejoining the table. Draws were played like they were the nuts and gutshots were golden. BG became the king of thelive straddle and Lewey was there. Enough said.

As the game got closer, block pools and prop bet sheets where spread about. By the end of the game I would have erased my earlier poker loss by hitting 12 of 15 over/unders but whiffing on every other bet (except for my fictional Up For Sports parlay. Indy -6.5, Vinatieri over 8.5 points, and Grossman over 2.5 combined TD's/interceptions. For zero money, naturally.). BigMike almost swept the -EV block pool with only BG taking money from him.

Then the SuperBowl got out of hand. BigMike started to play head's up Omaha/8. Then it got three handed, then 5 handed and luckbox poker was back in the mix. Shorthanded-limit-Omaha/8 easily turns into slot machine poker when a case of Amstel has been consumed along with a magnum of low grade hooch. You would figure my sobriety would give me some advantage but I just managed a push in that game.

I sat down at the home game table 3 times this weekend. 1 win, 1 push, 1 lose.



On a completely unrelated note, I'd like to thank VH1 Classic for their Metal Mania show. I just can't get enough of Steelheart, Savatage, and Bonham. God what rubbish.


Tomorrow is Hammer Day. Feel free to join Mookie and myself as we host a poker tournament for the special day. We've added $100 to the prize pool as incentive to donk around with your fellow bloggers, readers, and riverchasers. I hope to see you there. Also, I have a Riverchasers event set up for this Sunday now that football is over. A $24+2 or token deepstack H.O.R.S.E tournament at 2pmET. Again, all are welcome.

Name: Riverchasers.com Special Event #1
When: Sunday February 11th, 2007 2 pm ET
Game: H.O.R.S.E Deepstack
Buyin: $24+2 or token
password: riverchasers


Thank friggin christ I was able to get the site updated to the new blogger without everything assploding. I think that means people are going to have to resubscribe to the RSS feed but who knows. Damned free apps, you get what you pay for.

Last bit before I go, happy birthday to Glenn today. The old man turns 40 today and that's 60 in Felicia years.

Cheers to my older brother.


Sunday, February 04, 2007

One step closer... 

...to getting royally fooked. I was only waiting for just under a grand from neteller (a withdraw I requested before all the shit went down) but I know there are some friends and bloggers waiting for significantly more.

"FBI Agent Neil Donovan says funds from Neteller are being held in court as potential evidence. Some customers may get their money back, but he did not provide a timetable."

USA Today

Click the picture below for the article from the onlinewire where the FBI says "no comment".