Friday, January 19, 2007

Patriot and Cowboy fans huggle 

"A fourth Super Bowl victory would legitimately put the Patriots on par with any other dynasty in the league. It's bad enough that Patriot fans are acting like Patriot fans. Now imagine Patriot fans acting like Cowboy fans. It will be that bad."

Kissing Suzy Kolber
The football discussion 'round the bar, office, and intranetweb is which team to pull for. Indy or New England. It's a lot of fun waiting around to see how Manning is going to choke this time. But Patriots fans are just too much (plus they beat the Chargers). There's already one group of football fans who's first, last, and only line of defense is "hey, look at our rings". I've gotta pull for Indy to overcome their god given right to choke it up in a big game.

Plus, I'm sure the upcoming Friday edition of The Sports Guy will be late as Bill Simmons rubs one out to a picture of Tom Brady huggling Belichick. (Update: There you have it, a 2000 word New England handjob. "Why don't you like me the Patriots anymore?)

Also, I'm going with the Saints +2.5 which certainly means everyone else should go the other way.


The clock rolls on towards the afternoon and my apathy grows as the minutes move by. I've stopped pretending to do anything constructive today other than setting records on various game sites (non-poker thank you very much to my employers) and reading various ramblings. Sudden sobriety doesn't do much for my state of mind but I don't care about that either. Have no fear, drunken adventures will continue eventually, it's just slow time/down time for the liver and brain. It's been nearly a week since I tested the floor strength of the bar with my face and I haven't seen the inside of a proper drinking establishment since.

Say it ain't so.

This week reminds me that my knees still really hurt and my head is somewhere on Pluto showing no signs of coming back anytime soon. It's not time to sell your Southern Comfort stock but I'm sure the bar will notice when they don't have to over-order their stock next week. "Pain is temporary..." It's not helping my state of mind that I have friends heading down to Key West to play at Sloppy Joe's this coming week and I won't be there.

All that being said, it's with a clear liver and muddled brain that I'll be hoping onto FTP this weekend trying to token up for the FTOPS and trying to take as many fish in the cash games before the pond dries up.

Who's with me? Sober poker, who would have thought such a thing was possible.


Cruising around the web I found this beauty. I wish I hadn't missed this chat session on USAToday. Jeffrey Pollack, "WSOP Commissioner" or whatever the fuck that means was chatting with some mouth breathers yesterday. Pretty bland session but one question in particular brings back the reasons why we all play this game. The fish.

san francisco, ca: how do I go about turning pro? do I need to complete any paperwork or register with anyone?

Poor guy is broke before he even knows it.


A few gifts to apologize for my shitty ass mood. 5 random pictures I managed to come across in the last couple of days.

Coochie Coo. Ouch.

Remember Ms. Parker from The Pretender?

I don't think StB could get through all this booze.

or this booze.

Finally, just for Daddy.

Cheers my friends. Have a great weekend.

Head's up for Gary, 23skidoo, and Mr. Subliminal, your ATM tourney is set up and ready to go. Time to build the bankroll.

Name: Riverchasers.com Tour Event #2
When: Thursday January 25th, 2007 9 pm ET
Game: NLHE
Buyin: $10+1
password: riverchasers


Thursday, January 18, 2007

Who knows... 

"Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?"

George Carlin
Is the sky falling? Is it merely shaking a bit? I'm not sure what is the answer to those questions but I know that I'm troubled. I will go forth and open another account at another vendor but how long before those guys get grabbed and each get shutdown one at a time. Will the other sites follow suit in order to keep their executives our of the big house? Even if they shutdown right now, would that prevent the government from going after them anyway since they "aided and abetted" at one point or another?

A ton of questions, very few know the answers and I'm not the guy smart enough to pretend to tell you. Float around the different blogs, everyone has a different take. You can start and keep up with the developments over at PokerNews where super sleuth (and mother of all cleavage) Amy Calistri is on the case.

Neteller Founders Charged with Money Laundering Conspiracy
Neteller Founders Detained: New UIGEA Precedent or Old School?
Neteller Suspends Online Gaming Services to US Residents
Opinion: Online Gaming: The Sky Isn't Falling….Yet

It also seems a little weird that I haven't seen any stories on the mainstream news sites. You figured it would be out there somewhere.


As usual, I've been hopping over to Pauly and PokerNews to see how everyone is making out down at the Aussie Millions. I'm interested in how the players are doing and how Pauly is holding up halfway around the globe. In one of his latest picture dumps he has a picture of Brandon and Gavin playing together on Day 1. My immediate thought was to the last time I saw these two guys together.

Bash at the Boathouse 7. Both were ramped up on 'fun juice' and the band called them up to sing along. I'm going to have to find some way to get these two together again next September.

Gavin and Brandon at the Aussie Millions.
Picture from Dr. Pauly

Brandon and Gavin (with help from Carter) sing with the AlCantHang Experience.
Picture from Falstaff


I missed the Mookie last night but that didn't stop me from donating to the cause. I was already signed up earlier but my internet connection at home was shot. I don't think it was my ISP because I wasn't even able to do the respectable thing and steal another wifi connection. Seems that I finished 29th out of 55 which is a better showing then if I had actually played.

That and other things have me in a foul mood today so I'm just going to dump some links on you and be done for the day. That cool?

- This post up on the Poker Stars blog about the Aussie Millions got my attention just with the title. Jimmy Fricke: Luckbox or Boy Genius?. He's neither. This is the luckbox and this is the Boy Genius.

- From Scott we find out scientists have proven what we've known all along. Women talk three times as much as men. No shit?

- Kissing Suzy Kolber has an "interview" with Patriots running back Corey Dillon.

- And just because SirFrapprHouse is starting to finally catch up to me, do me a quick favor. Click here and sign up on my Frappr map. The bribe this time? For every new pin on the map, I'll give you another one of these (or even better ones next time). If you happen to be of the female persuasion, I'm sure my girls can come up with something interesting for you. It just won't be posted here.

Cheers, more tomorrow when I'm not ready to throw my laptop against the wall or myself off a high structure.


Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Hammer Day Poker Event 

"Brandon Schaefer and Carl Olson were shitfaced and came over to railbird me. They were hilarious."

Email from Dr. Pauly
The cell phone started ringing early on Saturday morning after an unexpected marathon 3 bar tour with Landow the previous night/morning. When I saw the number pop up as "private" I just assumed it was someone from work, not so silently cursed them for waking me, and rolled back over. It never occurred to me that Pauly's cell from Australia shows up as private also.

He was calling from a bar in the Land of Garth after winning a private PokerNews SnG while sitting at the feature table. He sounded in full voice as he was knocking back shots with Brandon on the other side of the world. Tequila and Soco. Nice combination. A little dial-a-shot hair-of-the-dog would have hit the spot right around that time. Then again, I was just a few short hours from completely obliterating myself. Maybe it all worked out in the end.

Check out Pauly's coverage from the Aussie Million over at PokerNews with AussieSchecky. You can catch beauties like Brandon getting slow rolled by a random asshat.


I wish I had the screen shot or hand history from the other day. Playing a Full Tilt SnG the other day when I correctly laid down a middle pocket pair to an all paint flop with a crap load of action ahead of me. Easy lay down to a couple monsters out there.

Then to watch when the turn and river would have brought me running quads to crash a set of kings and a set of aces.

LOVE this game.


Here's the announcement absolutely none of you have been waiting for, but you're getting it anyway. With this being 2007 Offsuit: The Year of the Hammer, I got together with the infamous Mookie and put together a special tournament for Hammer Day, 2/7/2007. Mookie already hosts one of the best regular blogger tournaments out there so it just fell into place with the date landing on a Wednesday. He's also badass with the photoshop skills where I often fail miserably.

$100 added to prizepool. Other bounties and prizes will be added to the mix as we get closer to the date. Pass it along and join us for some donkilicious brogger 'tardness. (Note the different time from the regular Mookie. 9pm Eastern for the Hammer Event)

And don't forget the regular Mookie tourney tomorrow night. Cheers!


Monday, January 15, 2007

Death by Misadventure 

I found myself sitting around early Saturday afternoon flipping around the channels and landed hit up VH1 Classic to see what they had to offer. Not much of a choice on the other channels unless I wanted to here more talking heads talk their shitty talk about football. VH1 Classic came to the rescue when I got there in just enough time to see them start playing an old concert from the BBC in 1977 featuring ACDC. Good stuff if you've got the taste for no nonsense ball crushing music.

Eva asked me some questions about the early years of the band and I told her the fate of lead singer Bon Scott. The man certainly loved his booze and it was his downfall. The inquest classified it as "Death by misadventure". Seems a much nicer way of saying the man drank himself to death. Partied too hard, died too young. It's unfortunate and a waste of talent. But like the rock stars say, better to burn out than to fade away.

24 hours later, those words came back to me as I woke up stuck to my living room floor. "Death by misadventure".

The glamorous life I lead. I'm a moron. This is for you kids out there. Don't be me.


On Saturday night, an epic battle was fought and ultimately lost. And I'm not talking about the Eagles game.

We spent the afternoon in the crowded bar watching the clusterfuck game between the Colts and Ravens. Drinks were consumed and pictures taken. The bar crowd continued to grow with several annoying Eagles fan leading up to the kickoff of the Eagles game. You know them, the 1% of the fans that give the other 99% of us a bad rep. Landow, the Giants fan, was describing various ways he would like to dismember the 'tards and he started to get pretty creative.

Long story short, Mrs. Andy Reid forgot to pack her husband's balls for the trip to New Orleans and this season ended the same way they have since I've been alive. All throughout the afternoon and evening the drinks flowed like water. Then it happened.

Seems that I must have pissed off the Gods of Gravity by continuing to flaunt my abilities to remain vertical. A shoelace, a barstool, a wisp of air, a tiny forgotten coaster. Who knows what actually was the cause. The last thing I remember thinking was the Howard Cosell line. "Down goes Frazer!".

Then the lights went out in Al-ville for the duration.