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Thursday, November 30, 2006

:Mindcrimes, Poo-holes, and a driveby 


Who can ever tell where inspiration will come from. Certainly not me and certainly not on these pages. I've been in a bit of funk lately (if anyone actually noticed) and my music selections have joined right up in the fun parade. A couple times recently friends have hit me up with some good selections. Scott got me listening to some Hank III and Caucci reminded me about Social Distortion - Live at the Roxy. Last night we found it buried in the middle of a karaoke song book.

Backing up a bit.

I worked from home yesterday with plenty of time to catch up on shitty afternoon TV programming and more work documentation. That also meant no happy hour after work and the lazy boy was feeling goot. Things were going well and I was all ready to play in last night's Mookie tournament when the phone rang. If the phone rings that late at night I know there is a bar proposal in my near future. Sure enough Caucci was heading to the bar and would I care to join him. It had been nearly 24 hours since I was last in a bar and my hands were starting to get clammy.

Weighing the option of losing more blogger money against the opportunity to hang out with girls who have no self-esteem and questionable morals, I guess you know who won out. I regretfully unregistered from the Mook and cowboyed up for some stupidity. I was not to be disappointed.

Usually by the time they kick off the karaoke at the bar, I'm well into my bottles and I find it humorous. Painful, but still funny. Listening to it when sober is just down straight pain. While looking through the book for equal ear shattering songs for the chuckleheads to sing, we came across Operation Mindcrime. Great CD but can't imagine anyone actually signing it. While we didn't convince anyone to sing Jet City Woman, it reminded me that it's been awhile since I've put that particular album on play.

Operation Mindcrime is currently thumping it's way through my head as I write this.

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How's that for going a long way around just to explain the music I'm listening to today and why I didn't make the Mookie tourney last night? I am the DoucheFather.

We did get to see a nice little scrum in the bar last night. One really big guy versus one very small guy. Big guy outweighed little guy by close to 80 pounds. Seems that 8 hours of drinking was one too many for the big guy who thought the small guy was moving in on his chippy. The chippy who, by the way, had no idea who the big guy was.

Without dropping a bit of beer from his pint glass, big guy had little guy jacked up over the bar with hand by the throat. Would have good entertaining stuff if it hadn't caused Blair to stop pouring an order to take of the fucknuts. Booze > neanderthal style ass whoopings.

Always good times at the bar. It just doesn't seem to be a complete night unless someone is getting messy. Usually it's me but not this time.

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Hey Joaquin, at least you still have Romo to cheer for. The Arse are done.

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Will you forgive me for getting up on my sports soapbox for one small minute? It's only baseball for christ sake.

"I see it this way: Someone who doesn't take his team to the playoffs doesn't deserve to win the MVP," Pujols said in Spanish at a news conference organized by the Dominican Republic's sports ministry.
Albert Poo-holes
With the big ol' two middle finger salute, I say screw you. I say a team that only wins 83 games shouldn't be eligible to go to the playoffs ya douche. The Phillies won 2 more games then the Cards but weren't lucky enough to be in a division full of girl's softball teams.

One thing I'm surprised that has never been mentioned from the World Series other than a couple of tiny posts here and there. Poo-holes pulled a major disappearing act in the Series. How do you like these lines from the best player on the team? Eckstein and a Molina brother had a better slugging percentage than the god of thunder. That's not even the good Molina brother (not that I really know). Wee man Eckstein with twice as many RBI. At least Alberto had a better batting average then Encarcion and Taguchi. I guess it wasn't a total choke job.

I won't even comment on his Hall of Fame quote. Seems that the real Poo-holes is starting to show through. Flaming Fucking Asshat.

Thank for you humoring me. Now back to our regularly scheduled crap.

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For anyone who's interested, I'm running another Riverchasers tourney tonight on Full Tilt. I'm in the process of working with them to set up some sort of regularly run tourneys tracking points and such starting in January, assuming everything works out properly. Many of the bloggers met Jim, the owner of Riverchasers, at the Bash this year. He was the guy running / dealing the Gavin Smith charity tourney and provided the table and chips for the raffle afterwards. He also provided Gavin with the prop bet that ended up with a particular female friend of ours showing 'the girls'. Good man. He'll be with me in Vegas getting wicked drunk trying to figure out how the hell any of us actually function in the real world.

Feel free to stop on by tonight if you have the time. Did I mention that it's mostly populated with bar freerollers? Just don't hurt 'em too bad.

Full Tilt Poker
Tournament #8647662
Game: NLHE
Date: November 30th, 10pmET
Buyin: $10+1
password: riverchasers

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Finally, as a public service announcement...

beware where you point your digital camera, you just never know what's going to happen.

Cheers, that is all.

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Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Lemurs, donkeys, and Lions 

Has it really been nearly 6 months since the last trip to Vegas? Seems like yesterday. Between Bash planning, summer shit, and other complete craziness, it feels like I was just there binge drinking like there was no tomorrow. Between then and now I've sold and given away my soul for a few duckets here and there. I've found that souls are a dime a dozen and overrated.

Now I find myself prepping for another gathering where I get to hang out with my invisible internet friends. Raging solo per Otis and searching for the bottom of a bottle with anyone willing to come along for the drunken ride. Who knows, maybe I'll even get some proper poker in during the weekend. I'm looking forward to what has become the common ground for getting together. The bar at the sportsbook in MGM will turn back into blogger central on Friday night when we take it over.

I'll promise once again to stay relatively sober so that I'm not a mess at the tourney on Saturday, but fail miserably as Garth and I try to reason with Joaquin about his pathetic Gooners. Speaker already knows Liverpool is shit. Saturday I will play like a complete ass in the tourney but make up for it by drinking Caesar's out of Soco while I'm still in.

It's almost that time.

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Last night was fun. I found Richard Brodie crushing the guys in the big limit game. I never can remember who convinces who, but we always end up playing a HORSE SnG after I gather as many bloggers for the ride. The first attempt to get a table went terribly wrong but the second attempt got myself, Brodie, and SirWiffleBall. Click on the link to see how he ended up. Knocked out Quiet Lion and finished second.

Me? Two tabling HORSE SnG's is a real pain in the ass. Trying to remember which table was Razz and which was Stud was made all the more complicated when you realize that I was in the bottle at the bar. I bubbled out in both. I don't lie when I say that I suck.

For more blogger goodness, please stop by and donk away at The Mookie tonight. I promise to give away my chips as usual.


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Monday, November 27, 2006

Caught in a mish mosh 

At least a dozen times this weekend I was asked about how the Eagles season was going to end up. Now we know. So be it, they were picked in the pre-season to finish 3rd or 4th which is where they will probably finish up. At least now I can sit back and enjoy the choke-fest that is Eli Manning. Spec-fucking-tacular. Eli looking like he stopped caring since the day he was drafted and Coughlin having a stroke right there on the side lines. Great stuff.

I even managed to pull out a fantasy football game with the swiss cheese Philly defense giving up career numbers to Addai. Lord the Eagles suck.

Now that we've hit the traditional Eagles swoon I can really concentrate on the Blues. Check the table on the right, nothing like seeing Liverpool mid-table and Arsenal battling with Reading and Pompey to make themselves respectable. Chelsea is through to the knockout stages in the Champions League and will win the group with a result against Levski Sofia on the 5th. ManU got a nice little spanking by Celtic last week and I'm not sure if Div realized it or not. Kidding of course, good to see Div celebrated by drinking a bottle of Southern Comfort to the bottom. Cheers.

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I did nothing this week other than some world class pigging out on Thursday. I ate more pie than turkey since the mother unit managed to bake apple, cherry, and pumpkin pies for over two dozen family members gathered at my aunt's house. Screw the turkey, bring me some pie and ice cream. Fat boys love them some pie.

The rest of the weekend I spent catching up on my DVR recordings, books, and the occasional blog entry. I even did some non-blog writing and other entries that I will post at a later date. I started reading Sean's NanManBloContest entry. Congrats to Sean for finishing up his 50,000 words before the month is over. A month which included a stay in the hospital for him.

I also gave Sean a call on Wednesday at work. While he was on the air. So whoever happened to be listening to Rock 101 in Lubbock on the way home from work got to hear my shitting voice. Sorry about that, hope I didn't spoil your appetite.

Drinking rule #657,365 subparagraph 10: Situations when you might not want to do a drunken dial-a-shot. When you know the guy on the other line is working at a radio station and tells you to call "the other line" so he can record it. You think it's bad getting on Pauly's recorder in the middle of a binge, that's nothing.

Other than that, nothing spectacular this weekend other than pissing off some friends, burning my retina from TV, and eating a BoyGenius inspired stromboli (mozz, sauce, ham, pepperoni).

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If you are heading to Vegas for the December gathering, and I hope you are, April has the details of the blogger live event on the 9th.

What: WPBT Holiday Classic III
When: Saturday Dec. 9th at 1:30pm
Where: Caesars Palace
Format: NL with one rebuy
Buy-in: $80 + $50 rebuy (1500 chips for the buyin, 3000 chips for the rebuy)

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Online tourneys coming up this week that I'm going to try and make, open to bloggers and readers alike. Hit them hard and show your support, I'm quickly learning what a pain in the ass it is organizing them and I only throw one every other week.

Monday - Hoyazo hosts his weekly blogger friendly tourney, MATH (Monday's at the Hoy) on PokerStars. Monday's starting at 10pm ET. $20+2

Tuesday - Slick Willy has his weekly WWdN on PokerStars Tuesdays at 8:30pmET (not 100% sure of the time) for $10+1.

Wednesday - The Mook is the tourney I'm most likely to play in weekly due to it's day and time. Wednesday's, 10pmET, $10+1

Thursday - I have my bi-weekly Riverchasers tourney on Full Tilt, 10pm, $10+1, password is riverchasers.

Thursday - CC's Thursday poker bash. 9:30pmET, PokerStars, $20+2, NLHE.

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Finally, just to show you the brilliance we are dealing with here in Philly, here's a story about Philly's beloved thug, crook, jagoff mayor. Ryan Howard wins the National League MVP award and is just about the only positive thing in Philly sports these days. So to honor the occasion, they throw him this big celebration and the mayor steps up the podium and....

calls him RON Howard. Not once, but 4 times. Fucking brilliant.

I wasn't even going to bring this up but I got into a discussion with ScubaSteve and he had to throw his two cents in.


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