Friday, April 28, 2006

3 cheers... 

Aussie Aussie Aussie!

No real reason for that, just felt like doing it. Cheers to Heafy and my other brothers from down under.

The brain is real mush today and that usually spells trouble for anyone who happens to stumble upon this mess. It also means trouble for my co-workers in a very olfactory kind of way. oofa. It was a late night at the bar complete with trivia, booze, and the random drunken 22 year old birthday girl who took great pleasure in molesting my wife's breasticles. Seriously.

Near the end, hers not ours, she made every effort to plant a big honkin' lip lock straight on my dear and patient spouse. Eva put the juke on the girl who ended up air balling every kiss attempt until she finally realized that there would be no hot girl-on-girl action on this night. At least not with Eva. Before drunk girl's night was through, she was seen dry humping a pool cue on the table in such as way that table may now be unusuable without a thorough cloroxing. Did I just make up a new word? Cloroxing?

Royce spent a large chunk of the evening with his head firmly planted upon the bar in a valiant effort to make everyone think he was dead. God bless the cool cool granite bar and it's affects on the overheated drunkards like us. Eva was playing DJ after Scuba Steve's shift was over by plugging her monster iPod directly into the bars sound system. I challenge anyone to prove that I don't have the coolest wife ever. The Gourds and Anthrax and everything in between. Except for Journey. Terry the bartender is very assertive in her belief that Journey "is for pussies".

We made our way home at closing after I mainlined another 3 red bulls to fight off the very feeling I have at this moment. I've got that familar weight on my chest like I smoked two whole packs of cowboy killers (which I don't think I did) and all is right with the world. Now maybe I'll have to order some chinese takeout just to really piss off the co-workers.

It's the weekend boys and girls. Have fun with it.


In other news...

I found this over at Bobby Bracelet (who found it via Da Roosta) and thought it was worth putting up here. A writeup from ESPN's Steve Rosenbloom that includes the following about the effort Gavin Smith is putting in to help out the charity drive Bobby has been mentioning. If you've forgotten, Bob is doing his soccer-a-thon this weekend. Feel free to drop him a big blind or ten.

Gavin Smith got knocked out of the World Poker Tour Championship on the first day, and that's when the winner of the WPT's Mirage Poker Showdown made some of his best moves.

The gregarious character from Canada scoured the Fontana Room and the Bellagio poker room, hitting up fellow pros for items to be auctioned off to help a little girl from Smith's native province of Ontario.

Peyton Novoa, a 2-year-old from the Toronto suburb of Richmond Hill, Ontario, lost her mother to small cell ovarian cancer. Natasha Novoa, 29, was a single mother who was diagnosed with the aggressive form of cancer in December. She died in March, leaving Peyton in the care of her grandparents.

"We're getting a bunch of stuff from the poker community to auction off and try to raise some money for her in the next month,'' Smith said. "People will be able to bid online. Go to the Web site www.forpeyton.com to get the whole story.''

Some of the items that Smith had gathered were a Phil Ivey FullTiltPoker jersey, a Bellagio room/show package, a Mark Seif Absolute Poker jersey, a Phil "The Unabomber'' Laak hoodie, a Daniel Negreanu Full Contact Poker jersey and a jersey from Michael "The Grinder'' Mizrachi.

"If you don't want to bid on an item, you can still make a contribution,'' Smith said.

Nice to see that poker has a conscience, and a heart.

Cheers to everyone and I hope the poker gods don't deliver you a punch to the face.


Thursday, April 27, 2006

Movin' on up... 

Where have I gone? Nowhere really. I don't usually go a couple days between posts during the week but who gives a crap why. I've been busy in some stuff going around the workplace (which I wasn't able to write about until now) and Bash at the Boat stuff (which I still can't talk about).

On the job front, I've been nosing around another department within my company and was offered a position. After much thinking and talking and bold ideas from my current group, I made the decision to take the new one. It's not a major move other than it gets me off the god damned oncall pager and I might be able to have a life (as opposed to what I've been doing. Travelling, gambling, drinking, partying, etc. Poor me). I kept it out of here because several co-workers swing by here every once in awhile to check out what's been happening. Get back to work Miller. That works fine for me. It kind of acts as a way to keep the stories in check and prevents me from slipping into hardcore hyperbole or downright fiction.

It's not tough to be brutally honest when my story fact checkers are all within 20 feet of my desk. If I tried to pull a fast one, there would be plenty of local people calling 'bull shit'.

So there, I'm moving jobs. Moving away from app/systems work to straight up hardcore system/system/systems work. It'll be interesting and I'm ready for the switch.


As far as the Bash stuff that's in the works, I'm just waiting on the OK to release the information. If you're smart enough, you should be able to patch it together by reading this and this and check out this.

And that's all I can say for now. I'll spell it all out as soon as I can. But you might want to start making travel plans to the City of Brotherly Fights for the weekend of September 23rd. I know these guys are. And at least half of G-Vegas.

Not to be outdone, Gracie goes and cracks me up with her plans for the Bash. Apparently just dragging sweet sweet Pablo north again for more debauchery isn't good enough, she wants to get Wil and Rock Star Shane Nickerson out the philly burbs for some poker, bands, and general craziness. Click on the link below and see how high we can get the number for the Bash.

Thank you blogger for being douchbags and not allowing scripting. But thank god for Heather. Heather > Blogger.


Surfing around with no particular place to go, I found a blog from a local who made me laugh. She might be the female version of Daddy (should he ever decide to rejoin us). Such gems as...

"...I had it the worst of anyone. First off, it should be known that I scream when I vomit. For 3 days I was throwing up and shitting ass water simultaneously."

"...I realized just how much we both are vehamently against human-animal sex. This perplexed me. If I don't care what anyone does to gratify thier sexual urges - natural urges people are born with such as taking it in the ass - who am I to place judgement upon those who like to screw chickens."

There you have just two of the quotes I found while surfing around. So go over and say hi to Jessa for a good laugh (and you might just learn something).


Finally, I putting up a couple of songs (and hiding them zipped up from the prying eyes) for my man Brad out in the great flyover state of Minnesota (ya, you betcha).

Bruce Springsteen - Cadillac Ranch
Bruce Springsteen - Jersey Girl

It's spring, time to start thinking about the good ol' times down at the Jersey shore.



Monday, April 24, 2006

All over the place today... 


That's how my weekend was. Uneventful. Just the way I like it. I spent my time putting a large dent in the lazy boy that looks remarkably like my fat ass. I spent very little time surfing the interwebnetthingy and kept finding myself flipping over to AMC to watch the non-stop Godfather marathon. I caught up on my DVR'd episodes of House and Dr. Who. I played in that silly little AOL tourney and managed 173 out of 1000+. Only 172 from the big prize. I'm an idiot. Never again.

How many Dr Who fans were very disappointed to see the Dalek hovering? Half the fun of the Daleks was them being able to destroy worlds but not climb a flight of stairs.

We did see something very disturbing for a couple in their brand new townhouse in the brand new development. Firetrucks. 5 firetrucks to be specific and one ambulance. All lined up on the street in front of our house. I ran outside (in the rain, bitches) and found they were running into the building next to ours. Apparently some middle aged rug rat left her big girls lunch in the oven too long and started a fire. No worries but not a very comfy feeling seeing all the fire-type people milling around. At least there was a little excitement this weekend.

I lost a good size post that I started writing up on Saturday. I can't blame blogger or my laptop or anything like that. Closing down notepad, "Do you want to save changes", and I say no. Moron. It was a fine tribute to the 30th birthday of the one and only Bobby Bracelet. Head over now to give you condolences congrats. 30 is the new 21, he'll survive.

Pauly's got his mojo back and is writing at the top of his game. Leaving the clinical details to the others and laying out the scene in his unique voice. It makes me want to hop on a plane and sit at the hooker bar for shots and war stories. The only thing missing would be Otis hitting video poker quads, Grubby trying every possible drink combination, and the hooker who "moonlighted" as a real estate agent during the day. Speaking of Pauly, I was wondering how many readers/bloggers these days actually know how Pauly got his honorary doctorate. I know some of the old timers will remember, but what about the newer bloggers?

My title is easier to remember. The honorable Sir Arne bestowed my knighthood upon me in August of 2005 before the Bash and our wedding anniversary...

Arne, son of Norman, son of Hans, by proclamation and Right honorably titled Sacricola Altus, Reverend, Doctor Divinitatis, Professor of Metaphysics, Liber Cogitari, and Healer by such learned bodies as the Univeral Life Church, the Universal Ministries, The Wicca Delubrum, the Church of Secular Humanism, the Church of the Apathetic Agnostic, the Taokan Temple and so forth, to all Nobles, Knights, Esquires, Mayors, and free men, as well as all officers, servants, and subjects whomsoever to whom these presents shall come, Greeting.

Whereas the well-beloved and trusty Hang clan, composed of the right honorable AlCan't and EvaCan of these United States of America, have honored all with the utmost of trust and support that they could and have long served in uprightness, steadfastness, diligence, and all other excellence by which strengthened and adorned, it is fitting that This clan should be raised to higher honour and more illustrious titles of dignity upon the occasion of their 5th anniversary of matrimony.

Know therefore that We, considering the premises of Our especial circumstance and certain knowledge and with mere motion have promoted, preferred, created, and established the aforesaid AlCan'tHang to the higher state, rank, and style, dignity, title, and honour of Knight of the Order of Saint Arnold, this Order having been newly established by Us, and by these presents We do confer, grant, and bestow to him, the said AlCan'tHang, the name, state, rank, style, dignity, title, and honour of Knight Commander of the Order and to have and to hold all and singular pre-eminences, privileges, precedences, honours, and all other things belonging or appertaining to the state of Knight Commander of the Order unto Him and the heirs male of his body lawfully begotten.

Furthermore, by our especial powers, We hereby have promoted, preferred, created, and established the aforesaid EvaCanHang to the higher state, rank, and style, dignity, title, and honour of Dame of the Order of Saint Arnold, having been newly established by Us, and by these presents We do confer, grant, and bestow to her the said EvaCanHang, the name, state, rank, style, dignity, title, and honour of Dame Commander of the Order and to have and to hold all and singular pre-eminences, privileges, precedences, honours, and all other things belonging or appertaining to the state of Dame Commander of the Order unto Her and the heirs female of her body lawfully begotten.

And We further and by these presents for Us as Reverend, Divinitatis Doctor, and Liber Cogitari of the Universal Life Church grant to the newly created Sir AlCan'tHang and Dame EvaCanHang that these Our letters patent shall be sufficient and effectual in the law to distinguish and invest the newly created Sir AlCan'tHang and Dame EvaCanHang with the name, title, rank, dignity, style, and honour of Most Reverend and Divinitatis Doctor of the Universal Life Church and that without any investiture, rites, ornaments, or ceremonies whatsoever in that behalf due and used, which for certain reasons best known to Us We would not perform, these presents are to be made whole upon receipt and completion of such acts that would make these presents whole.

In witness whereof We have caused these Our letters to be made patent and Witnessed by Us in Pasadena, Maryland, of the year MMV.
I topped it off by getting ordained in the Universal Life Church. Hence the Sir Reverend or Reverend Sir, whatever damned order it goes in.

I can legally marry anyone with a valid marriage license. Do you think my friend Fat Ass Bob asked me to do the honors when he gets married on the beach at the Jersey Shore this summer? Hells no. Although he was kind enough to throw this picture up on his wedding site. That's me guest bartending at the Boathouse. After I crushed the bar with overflowing patrons, they ended the guest bartending gigs for good.

I seem to be doing a fine job of bouncing all over the place today, eh?


Now here's what you've got to do with the rest of your day...

Go read Brandon's blog as he makes his tour of Major League stadiums this season. So far he's made it from Seattle, down the left coast, and now sitting in Tex-ass after the Mavericks game. Hopefully he's building up his tolerance a little before hitting Philly in May.

Then go sign up for Jordan and Tripjax DADI-WSoP satellite tonight on PokerStars. There are a ton of cool giveaways besides the $1500 WSoP seat. Hopefully I'll see you there.