Friday, April 14, 2006

More random stuff 

We got robbed. Big time.

It's been a month since I stopped by the Boathouse on a Thursday to hang out with friends and play some trivia. BigMike and I had not lost a single week when we were in attendace. For the most part due to Mike unless we got lucky enough and the category was 80's metal. But this week we got jobbed and robbed.

How the hell are we suppose to defend out title when the final two rounds are Beverly Hills 90210 and Sex in the City. I can guaran-goddamn-tee I've never seen a single episode of 90210 and probably the only show I've seen of Sex in the City were because Eva was catching with missed episodes that I was forced to watch.


We had to sit back and watch two mouth breathing idiots take an hour just to get 5 questions right.

At least we had the booze. And the cell phone for dial-a-shots.


For lack of any real post, I need to point out two events where you, Joe Reader and Jim Blogger, can help out where it's needed.

Easycure set up a tournament benefitting the American Cancer Society. Sign up now!

Hammer Out Cancer... a WPBT-POY Circuit Event

What: NL charity tourney (Tournament ID 3381723 under the Private section)
When: Sunday, April 16th
Time: 9pm EST or 6pm PCT
Where: Full Tilt Poker
Cost: $10 + $16 ($15 goes to American Cancer Society)
Password: dahammer
Next up is a request from The Bracelet...

Unfortunately, in December Peyton's mother Natasha would be diagnosed with an extrememly rare form of Small Cell Ovarian Cancer. Just threemonths later she would lose her battle with this disease.

I can't just sit on the sidelines for this one.

I'm asking for anyone who reads this, knows me, knows Christian, or just has a heart backed up by the ability to give, to sponsor me in a fundraiser to help ease the burden on her family and daughter Peyton.

Here's how.

On April 29th I will be playing 8 straight hours of mediocre soccer during a fundraiser. I'm looking to walk in there with two things.

Level 3 (and degrading quickly) Soccer skillz


More money than anybody else to help support someone I know in need.
Hit the link above to read the rest of the story. If this doesn't get you, then you have no heart. Give what you can.


Did you know the DADI team of Jordan and TripJax have set up a WSoP satellite? Details are here. They have a lot of cool prizes besides the WSoP seat. What are you waiting for?


Finally, in honor of the holiday, another reminder of the Bash at the Boat.


Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Mongolian Beef and Poker Girl 

I am fried at the moment. It's nearly 7:30 in the AM here on the East Coast and most people are preparing for work. Grabbing their coffee, breakfast, newspaper. Me? I've been sitting here in the office since 3 o'clock this morning. Seriously fried. While others are searching for breakfast, I'm trying figure whether any of the Chinese delivery places are open yet. Nothing like the smell of a little Mongolian Beef wafting through the air as my co-workers try to choke down their day-old crawlers.

The only intelligent thing I did yesterday was blow off the normal Tuesday night poker game. I would really be a mess right now. I'm sure it went late since it was BigMike's birthday and there was a bounty on his head (bottle of Soco courtesy of the Landow). That bottle would have been empty before I staggered home waiting for the 2:30 alarm to go off.

Which never happened either. I crashed around 10pm (can't miss House) and set the alarm on my cell phone so I didn't have to bother Eva with the alarm clock. Great idea if I had actually set it right. Which I didn't. Luckily my paranoia at missing the system maintenance caused me to wake not long after the alarm should have gone off.

So far today I've destroyed a couple of fresh Boston Creme donuts and I'm really wishing I had a taste for coffee. Maybe that would snap me out it.

Hopefully by the time the rest of you are searching your local cafeteria for craptacular food, I'll be nice and comfy in my bed at home.

But I know that's not gonna happen. Til then, let me share a couple of images with you.


I don't know if this is going to cause the morons to call this another sign of poker becoming too mainstream, but ESPN now has a poker section in the highlight area. Right there with all the mainstream 'sports'.


I rarely look at my statcounter numbers because I really don't care how many hits I get. If I really cared, I might learn how to do this better. But I don't, so I don't. I did notice that someone had finally passed Iggy and Pauly at the top of my referrers list.

I was very surprised to see google searches piling up looking for "poker girl". Remember poker girl? I posted her pic back in July for the second time. Here you go, just as a reminder.

I've received emails, IM's, and comments all asking who the hell she is. I also got a couple asking how to contact her. Well, you're all outta luck. I have absolutely no idea who she is. Back when I found the picture, I was doing my own google image search in my quest to fulfill my "chippy obligation" to Jerry and just happened to find her.

Now, if you do a google image search on poker, she's the first image you see. How the hell did I become the top image search for 'poker'? Beats me. But that didn't explain why I was suddenly getting all these hits to the image. Then I got an email from Shumpy which explained everything. Apparently someone took a screenprint of the google page and sent it to break.com because of the image that shows up #2 next to poker girl. Here's the break.com image...

Can you see what's there? Very disturbing. Just for you, I'll short cut the search for you. Check it out.

Now feel free to gouge your eyes out. Quickly.


Cheers, pray for me and my sanity.


Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Happy Birthday to BigMike 

Today is BigMike's actual 40th birthday. Feel free to leave your wishes for the next 40 days years of his life.

Let the drinking begin! Shot?!

In Dr. Pauly form...

Five Ten Random Places I've partied with BigMike:

1. The original Hammerjacks in Baltimore
2. Any random coffee house in Amsterdam
3. At the pool in St. Martin (drinking in zero gravity rules)
4. Irish Kevin's in Key West
5. Teasers in Key West (priorities)
6. Mt. Otis, G-Vegas
7. Früh am Dom - Cologne Germany
8. Sherwood Forrest - Excalibur
9. The stretch Excursion driving down the Vegas strip at 9am
10. The Boathouse! \m/


Monday, April 10, 2006

BigMike's XL Bar Crawl 

I'm gonna try my best, really, to regale you with tales from the BigMike Bar Crawl. Things are fuzzy near the end, but I'll take you from bar to bar and see what I can remember.

The bar crawl started at 3pm but we decided to head into the city and eat at Fado's before hand. One of the few wise decisions made.

I hope you enjoy.


Fado's - The first bar was an Irish bar (common theme throughout) with great food and replays of the weekend EPL matches. The first couple of shots started the day off and some good thick food to prepare for the long run. The Blonde had let us know before hand that she wasn't going to be able to make it out but there were a couple of presents waiting for us behind the bar.

Two bottles of Soco and a nice T-shirt. "Dallas sucks... but T.O. swallows". Perfect. Must have been tough for her to buy that shirt.

About half the crew made the first bar, about 30 at this point, and we all had the bright yellow shirts designed for the occasion. This would make it easy to identify which knuckleheads were with us.

The Good Dog - The second bar was only a half block away and had just opened when we stormed them. It was small bar and the bartender did not seem at all happy to see us walk in. This quickly changed when he realized we would only be there for about 50 minutes and he would make his booze quota during that time.

More shots. Some Soco, some tequila, and the bar was buying BigMike drinks by the time we left.

Dirty Franks - The best dive bar of the tour. You just don't see that many bars with hub caps on the walls anymore. The linoleum bar was warped in different places and I'm pretty sure there was a faint chalk line on the floor from some past homicide. A hand full of natty ol' regulars took our invasion in stride and had fun with it. We ran into the first guy who was able to figure out what "Nunc Est Bibendum" meant and he gave us several other latin quotes for future tours.

I was hanging out with Gracie and Sweet Sweet Pablo in a booth when I noticed what was standing in the corner. A classic standup version of Ms. Pacman. Pablo's eyes lit up and we made our way over. He quickly showed me that I was outmatched as he destroyed the game. While he was playing, one of the crusty regulars stumbled over and angrily tapped his finger on the game.

"You guys think you can just walk in here and start messing with MY game," he said.

"AND take my high score!"


We realized quickly that he was just having fun with us and Pablo began giving him pointers of the fine art of Ms. Pacman.

Tavern on Camac - Our first "friends of Dorothy" establishment. I rolled out of Dirty Franks about 5 minutes early to make sure I was able to get some drinks before the crowd showed up. By now we were pretty much at full strength. Well over 60 people strong and making quite a scene at this point.

As soon as I sat down at the bar, I warned "Nancy" the bartender that he was about to get very busy. He didn't seem happy but god damn if he didn't know how to pour a proper double shot. Gracie and I had our first tag team dial-a-shot. She was on the phone with BG and I had BadBlood. BB had been kind enough to ship off some cash via FTP for shots and we were using it well. Cheers to Blood.

At this point BigMike and I make a logistical decision. We're at the fourth bar and might be in trouble if we keep up the 6 double shot per bar pace. Not that it couldn't be done, but there was quite a bit of walking involved PLUS stairs. I'm fat, I'm drunk, and I would look like a big yellow avalanche if I caught a heel going down one of those stair cases.

I decided to take off early and make the next bar before everyone again. I would secure a place in the corner to avoid the next 7 people who wanted to buy him a double shot.

Irish Pub - very nice bar and the bartenders were happy to see us. I found a spot at the front corner of the bar to duck BigMike well-wishers for one bar at least. Someone still managed to slip a double jager in for good measure, but we made it out with no major hits to our very delicate, teetering sobriety. I got out with only two doubles and the one jager for Mike.

He's begun to main line RedBull but we're 5 hours into the crawl and still going. We were at least 70 strong at this point and moving on to the next "Dorothy" bar.

Dirty Franks and the Irish Pub are my two favorites so far as we hit the mid point of the crawl. God help us because the camera's really started to flash and I'm sure there are some interesting pictures floating around after the crawl.

12th Air Command - Who knew? Apparently it's "don't ask, don't tell" at the good ol' 12th Air Command. This place is flashy. Way too flashy. I'm talking Saturday Night Live bar lit up flashy. Once again, the bartender proves what I've been saying. These guys know how to pour a shot. All the decision-making about deflecting shots away from Mike has proven to be a hit for me. At this bar I intercepted several shots for Mike including one purplish shot that looked like it came from the Star Wars cantina.

Funny how easy it was to get his shots. Why would anybody who knows me, trust me to take a double soco to Mike and expect it to actually get there. The big guy was cruising right along. He may or may not have downed a huge Scotch and water. I think I started hitting on my manager. Is it ironic that this was the bar where I see the first girl flash. Stories have been floating around that some tranny left a huge bag of coke in the bathroom.

You just never know what you're going to get.

McGillans - Now this is a great bar. Huge pub with two floors and plenty of bar/table space to get your drink on. This is where things start to get a little fuzzy around the edges. The bar was pretty crowded so the group was forced to split into whatever corners they could find and drink up. The "mikey mikey mikey" chant may have started here but I could be wrong. Drinking had become as natural as breathing. No idea how many shots were done here but like I said, fuzzy started setting up camp for the duration.

Other pub crawlers seem to be of an intelligent mind because I see some of them eating. 7 hours of booze since my last bite to eat. That's me, the guy with the problem.

Fergies - A couple of us showed up 5 minutes early again to scope the place out. Very tiny. We could have been in trouble until someone mentions that they also have an upstairs. We find the upstairs bar to be practically empty and swimming with empty tables. Perfect.

Shots and pints and all the same. Wash, rinse, repeat.

I'm pretty sure I started becoming annoying Al around this time although everyone is pretty much toasted so I think I'm ok. Either people thought I was funny or they weren't going to remember. I decided that standing up on a chair in the middle of everyone for a toast was a brilliant idea. Not sure if it actually was, but I did it anyway.

So far we had confirmations of pukers, flashers, one classic victim falling off the tall barstools at McGillans, and the first punches thrown. It's no guarantee, but if I could just manage to make it past the final bar without falling, I'd be golden

Woody's - I may have to wait for others to write this one up. I was definitely gone by then. There was some questionable dancing then the fall. I think I'm starting a new falling record to rival the famous Otis. The only thing keeping me upright for the rest of the evening was the huge crowd. I couldn't have fallen again even if gravity demanded it.

I thought it would be a great idea to run out into the street across from the bar to have pictures taken from everyone sitting in our group on the second floor. Rumor has it that I was chasing a black tranny down the street to get a picture, but that is yet unconfirmed. All I do know is that they were not letting me back in. So there I stood on the other side of the street, looking up at my drunken friends in the second story window. Does anyone come to see if everything is ok? Nope, they just kept snapping pictures and waving.

Eventually our friend Shane was able to convince the bouncer that I would be a responsible drunk after I was force-fed 3 bottles of water and proved that I could stand upright longer than 5 seconds.

I stayed responsible and upright but the night was winding down for us drunkards. We gathered up our belongings and cohorts for the ride back to reality.

Bright, shiny, "what the hell did I do last night" reality.


Did that make any sense? I don't think so but thank god I kept the schedule to help with the writeup. There are certainly more stories that could and will be told, but that's the best I can do with my limited writing abilities and my mental defects.

It was great getting to meet a new blogger, PokerWolf, and hanging out with old friends Gracie and Pablo. Someone made the suggestion that we need to do this again soon.

God help us all.