Thursday, April 06, 2006

It's alive! 

The laptop is back. Nothing like a fried motherboard to make it act a little wonky. It came back too late to save me from redoing all my work yesterday but I do have the draft of the Bambi v Julie post and I'll throw that up tomorrow. Until then I'm just going to duck and cover for the rest of the week. I must prepare mentally and physically for the bar crawl on Saturday.

God I'm getting too old for this.

So you get random crap today. Feel free to skip on by. Or go see what Shumpy says.


The Phillies dropped their second game last night after Tom Gordon did his best imitation of a batting practice pitcher. Can't we break machete-wielding Ugueth Urbina out of jail? At least Jimmy Rollins extended his hit streak to 38 games.

On a personal note, I gotta tell you that I'm a huge Harry Kalas fan. He's been calling Phillies games since I was a kid. He is the voice of the Phillies (and NFL Films for that matter) and I'll always associate the two. But when Harry K calls Jimmy Rollins, J-Roll, I want to shove needles in my ears. Someone please make him stop.


Did I read somewhere that the NFL is going to schedule the T.O. led Cowboys to play IN Philly Christmas night? What kind of fucknut came up with that idea? At least we won't have to hear about the snowball / Santa Claus incident after this. Cowboy fans, do not DO NOT come to this game. You aren't that tough.

Of course T.O. could have himself suspended from the team by then...


More stories on Internet gambling

House committee divided in Internet gambling debate

Two things were clear from the committee's day-long examination of the Internet Gambling Prohibition Act on Wednesday:

• Representatives are divided on issues such as prosecution vs. taxation;

• Even if prosecution is ultimately chosen, any laws created by the act might not be enforceable.

Eva sent me this classic April Fools Day website.

April 1, 2006 - Motion Picture Association of America, Inc. (MPAA) chairman Dan Glickman and Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) president Cary Sherman today announced the historic merger of the two organizations. The newly-created entity is being called the Music And Film Industry Association of America, Inc....

As a part of the merger, the RIAA has agreed to drop all pretention of actually representing artists and stick to representing the record companies as they have been throughout their fight against online music piracy."
In honor of the new organization, "move over rover, and let Jimi take over."

Cheers til tomorrow.


Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Double damn 

Unbelievable. 3,000 word client document and, more importantly, the Bambi v Julie post are both down the drain. Last night my laptop shit the bed and took everything with it. Practically brand new. Bastards!

"But Al," you say, "aren't you an IT guy? Surely you had everything backed up, right?"

Screw you. Of course not.

So now I'm buckling down trying to fit a weeks worth of research and writing into 4 hours.

While waiting around... I was wondering if Daddy had any plans to move to India.
"Loyal" donkeys better than wives

NEW DELHI (Reuters) - A textbook used at schools in the Indian state of Rajasthan compares housewives to donkeys, and suggests the animals make better companions as they complain less and are more loyal to their "masters," The Times of India reported Tuesday.


Tuesday, April 04, 2006





Rest in Peace you crazy son of a bitch.


Crazy is as Crazy does... 

I had every intention of posting another Playboy Mansion story but work has gotten in the way. I'll be writing technical documents for clients instead of explaining the Bambi story or how I came to tell Julie McCullough things that you should never really tell an attractive blonde woman while standing in the middle of Hef's backyard. 3000 miles from home and too many bottles in the gullet.

I can't possibly write both at the same time. I'm liable to end up telling a client how to pleasure themselves to 80's sitcom stars and the Bambi writeup would have nothing but specs (36-24-34, IQ of -EV, Suggested Work Around "Get the hell outta dodge").

Tomorrow I will present "Bambi vs Julie" if full detail.


Drizz made an April Fools Day suggestion that bloggers write in the style of other bloggers for fun. I neglicted to mention two of my favorites.

DrChako wrote one as me guest blogging. PokerWolf has my top selection. Big Mike Can Hang!


Baseball is back and I'm very happy. Ryan Howard is on pace to hit 162 homeruns this year. Albert Pujols 324 jacks. Scott Rolen 648 RBI. And the Phils are looking to give up 2,106 runs. 82 syringes thrown at Barry Bonds. Brilliant.

All in jest, before the comments start pouring in.

I will tell you one thing I will definitely miss. Did anyone catch the monster homer from Thome on Monday? He was a blast to watch the couple of years he was in Philly. Enjoy him while you can White Sox fans.

I don't have any plans to hit a Phillies game until next month when Brandon rolls into town on his baseball stadium mega tour. Maybe I should contact McFadden's about uping the Soco stock for that game? Maybe we'll have a Blonde siting that day. You just never know what might happen.


Congrats! to Lucko21 and myradiohead for securing the next two blogger spots in the World Series of Poker joing the fabulous Gracie in Vegas.

Two tournaments and three seats given away. I think these satellites are only going to grow in popularity. I certainly hope The Blogfather understands our appreciation. And that was before he throw his own money into the prize pool to get the second seat last night.

The structure looked fantastic last night. 5000 in starting chips with 30 minute levels. It took 7 hours to grind down 93 players into the final two.

Cheers to Iggy. BONUS CODE IGGY dammit.


"Who the hell you callin' crazy? You wouldn't know what crazy was if Charles Manson was eating Fruit Loops on your front porch."

Suicidal Tendencies - You Can't Bring Me Down

Crazy today is brought to you my the past exploits of Kirk Cameroon. Proof the he was retarded long before we knew....


Monday, April 03, 2006


This Saturday, April 8th, we will be celebrating BigMike's XL birthday (XL works on a couple levels) with a Bar Crawl through center city Philly starting at 3pm. We already have several bloggers on their way into town. If you interested, shoot me an email and I'll give you the details.

1 Fado (1500 Locust) 3:00 - 3:55

2 The Good Dog Bar (224 S 15th) 4:00 - 4:40

3 Dirty Franks (347 S 13th) 4:55 - 5:35

4 Tavern on Camac * (243 S Camac) 5:45 - 6:25

5 Irish Pub (1123 Walnut) 6:35 - 7:15

6 12th Air * (254 S 12th) 7:30 - 8:10

7 McGillans (1310 Drury) 8:25 - 9:05

8 Fergies (1214 Sansom) - 9:15 - 9:55

9 Woody's * (202 S 13th) - 10:05 - ?

* Friends of Dorothy Establishment. That's right, be ye prepared for all kinds of craziness that could very well involve some random hot lesbian action and confused straight girls. And those guys know how to pour the heavy drinks. But if you're not comfortable, jump ahead in the schedule.