Thursday, December 29, 2005

Standby for post.... 

I think I've got some of my mojo back. Maybe it was Tuesday sitting around with a semi-buzz that did it. Not plowed but not sober. I've written the "I'm ready to come back" post 5 times so far.

And scrapped every damned one of them.

They were too wimpy, too serious, too light, too controversial, too idiotic, too drunk, too sober.

I've often come close to shutting it all down, starting it back up, and converting it to a website dedicated to uniting overweight men with either super-models or cross-dressing, Vietnamese hookers of exceptionally short stature.

30-something, single, morbidly obese, white, man with short temper and bitterly cynical sarcastic outlook on life seeks mute, twentysomething supermodel for hot, passionate, monkey sex followed immediately by some light domestic duties. Only serious offers need apply, all others "SHUT UP! SIT DOWN!".
But it soon became apparent that shutting the site down wasn't going to happen. The thousands and thousands of perverts hitting the site daily for Lindsay Lohan pics would go apeshit.

I think I found myself taking this silly stuff way too seriously. I write a blog (and blogs are gay). I write a blog about poker (which I suck at) and drinking (which I have some ability at) and I can't believe I get anyone to actually stop by for even a glimpse.


I took time to go back and read some of my archives. I never ever do that unless I'm looking for an old post for content. I seem to have forgotten how much fun I had last year and it all started last January. G-Rob, BoyGenius, Eva, and myself took a crazy last minute trip to the PokerStars event in the Bahamas to surprise Otis. Other than Otis doing his job, there wasn't one serious part of that entire trip. G-Rob and I ran the Atlantis out of Southern Comfort, we got in trouble with the Bahamian Gaming Commision for creative prop betting, walked ridiculous miles between poker room and casino, blew off Damon Wayans because he wasn't a poker player, I embarrassed and offended BG on separate occasions, ROSHAMBO with Otis at 4am, Ted Lawson hit on Eva, Eva hit on Greg Raymer, Otis hit the ground.

And we played a little poker.


I plan on starting back up next week and trying to get back to my old self. Look for serious posts someplace else, we're all out here.

I'm going to bring in some guest bloggers.

It's gone way too long since BigMike wrote anything and that has to change. Daddy is always welcome to throw an anonymous entry on here if he needs to vent. There's also a rumor that someone is going to write a post from the perspective of my shot glass. Could be interesting.

I'll make a deal with ya. You ignore the fact that I'm an idiot who talks about nothing but booze, boobs, and... whatever other B-words would fit and I'll promise to keep it stupid. Drink way too much. Take random pictures of hotties around the bar. Play retard poker with the bloggers. Supply Jerry with a regular supply of random internet cuties. And have way more fun than a fat, bloated, drunken, hippy has any right to.

Until next week.....

Cheers and have a drunken New Year's Eve with the amateurs.


Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Checking in... 

Just checking in. Everything is alive and kicking in the CantHang household.

I still have no desire to start back writing but I wanted to update with some things going on and links. Whatever gods happen to look over bloggers has been having fun with me. I have a shitload of material from just a couple of days but I just can't do it. I don't have writer's block. It's more like writer's apathy.

Like when I told my old man that at the first sign up senility, I was going to get someone to tattoo "D N R" across his chest as my sister and I divide up the inheritance. Ah. Good times.


I took the time to update the blogroll on the right. I was missing a ton of 'old timers' and I added some new ones. And they are in no particular order, so don't get all lippy on me.

Please. If I'm missing you on the right, drop me an email here.

Also, Jordan from High on Poker is hosting a tourney on Stars Wednesday. I plan on being there.


While you're patiently waiting around for my muse to show back up (THE BOOZE IS MY MUSE!), I'm linking up Pauly's newest edition of Truckin' for your reading pleasure.



1. Sunset by Tenzin McGrupp
In my grandmother's eyes, she was in Hell's waiting room and she couldn't get out. She asked God to take her right there on the spot but refused. She's been pissed off ever since... More

2. Saving Time by F Train
We'd have been able to revisit that hour, again and again, whenever we wanted, twisting and turning it like a Rubik's cube, marveling in an unexpected combination or viewing its myriad colors from a previously undiscovered angle... More

3. Lost Time by Change100
The next thing I remember is being in a cab sandwiched between two big black hookers. The hookers were talking to each other about my state of conciousness and I think one of them sort of poked me to see if I was at all alive... More

4. The Birthening by Bobby Bracelet
I distinctly remember hanging out in my dad's left nut with all my buddies. All the cool sperms hung out on the left side. The right side was where we all agreed the potential fags, cripples, and uglies hung out... More

5. Life Memories by Armando Huerta
It's always disconcerting to put your items on sale subjecting them to ridicule, harsh comments or just plain disinterest. Every time someone comes by to see something of yours for sale that you're treasured for years it's rather unnerving to see them roll their eyes or say something rude... More

6. Walk: The Second Step by Scuba Steve
Jake had woken up that morning with a sort of foolish optimism that there really was such a thing as Christmas magic and that somehow, this year, there would actually be presents under the tree... More

7. The Raise by Daddy
Before the words had even left my lips Jake stood up, and started to unzip his faded blue jeans. With his left hand he dug deep into his boxer shorts, jostled things around a bit, and finally pulled out his old worn out nutsack... More

8. A Typical Friday Night by Mr. Subliminal
One last look in the mirror. I tighten my belt one more notch, but there is no avoiding the Homer Simpson-like side profile. No matter, if this is the price I have to pay for maturity and a modicum of sophistication, then so be it... More