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Friday, November 04, 2005

I was in a fix. The place was closed but Mike and I were sitting at the end of the bar shooting the shit with the staff. It was another one of those nights impossible to explain because if you weren't there, you won't get it. Dial-a-shots were made and forgotten. ScubaSteve was taking song requests from 600 miles away and bloggers were punishing me with ELO. A cell phone battery killing conversation with the blogfather where I'm not really sure I made any sense. One hit wonder trivia and free booze. Talk of CIA agents and boobs. Fathers and good fathers and godfathers and grandfathers (who are really just fathers of fathers after all).

I found myself standing under a great bright light when the brilliant idea pops into my head. Maybe it was the booze talking or possibly the 93 Octane fuel I was huffing (how I went from sitting at the bar to pumping gas into Mike's car is a mystery that might never be fully explained), but I now knew how to write up the night that would convey how things went in a way that everyone would 'get'.

"Mike! Mike! Wake up! I'll write the entire post without any punctuation! It'll be brilliant and innovative! The ultimate stream of consciousness. It will hailed by all as the greatest post ever."

"You're an idiot."

As always, BigMike is right.

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Thursday, November 03, 2005

Thursday slob 

Welcome to the miscellany post. Everything you wanted to know about nothing at all. Rubbish from top to bottom.

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One thing that got lost in the mishmosh of moving and Vegas planning and boozing was BigMike and I taking some time off to catch a movie.

Doom!

We've worked together for over 15 years and started our careers working in our afterhours department. When the Doom game was released (preceded by Wolfenstein and followed up with Doom II), it was not uncommon to find a bunch of folks playing deathmatches at 4am on servers DEFINITELY not meant for this purpose. We generally used the excuse that it kept our minds sharp and eyes open. Realistically we just liked blowing the ever loving shit out of each other.

When they released the movie, there was no doubt that we needed to see it as a group. My quick review....

Too much talking and too much plot. Not enough blowin' shit up. But to be honest, it was worth the price of admission for a 10 minute segment near the end. Karl Urban (Eomer from Lord of the Rings) gets juiced up, grabs his gun, and takes off down the hallways. Big deal, right? But it's filmed from the same first person perspective as the game play. The gun movement as he's running, the shots, blowing up things, killing everything in sight. And then the chain saw. I was laughing like a schoolboy on Christmas morning.

Throw in the slow motion, 360 degree shot of the BFG with The Rock saying, "That's a big fuckin' gun!" plus a very lovely Rosamund Pike running around in the lab (which obviously was very chilly *cough*) and you have the recipe for an Oscar. Move over Citizen Cane!

ok, maybe a little overboard. But it was a nice way to waste away an afternoon.

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For everyone asking me why I chose DSL over cable? Easy. I despise DESPISE Comcast cable. I also have no desire for satellite so I'm stuck with them for my TV needs. I can live with DSL. When fiber is available, I'll switch up to that but I'll be damn skippy if I'm giving Comcast any more of my money.

And I made that decision long before the move to the new house. You know what, one week later and

STILL NO FUCKING CABLE.

Comcast can eat my cake hole.

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Luckily I won't have to worry about money anymore. It seems in the last 2 weeks, I've won some sort of lottery 6 times.

MEGA LOTTERY INTERNATIONAL
PROMOTIONS/PRIZE AWARD DEPT.

Ref. Number: 132/756/4107
Batch Number: 538901537-BB67

EURO PACIFIC FINANCE AND TRUST AGENCY(ACCREDITED LICENSED AGENT TO MEGA INTERNATIONAL AGENCY) Ref. Number: 132/756/4107 Batch Number: 538901537-BB67 Sir/Madam.

We are pleased to inform you of the result of the Lottery Winners International programs held on the 2th of Nov, 2005. Your E-mail address attached to ticket number 27511465895-6410 with serial number 3772-510 drew lucky numbers 7-14-88-23-21-45 which consequently won in the 1st category, you have therefore been approved for a lump sum pay out of US$ 500, 000.00(Five Hundred Thousand United states dollars) CONGRATULATIONS!!! Due to mix up of some numbers and names, we ask that you keep your winning information confidential until your claims has been processed and your money remitted to you.
My favorite part of the email is a line that says, "This promotional program takes place every three years."

I think we have the replacement for the 419 scam emails.

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I'm surprised nobody is harping on me for the Chelsea loss to Real Betis. I'm reading some conspiracy theories saying Jose lost the match on purpose to make it tougher for Liverpool to qualify. I can't worry about that because I'm too busy laughing at ManYoo's disastrous crash. Good times.

And for those who care (and I know there aren't many), here's a good article from John Nicolson at football365.com about Chelsea.

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Yep, I'm using my love of the EPL to avoid any relevant discussion on Philly sports at the moment. Move along.

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Good lord, three days, three poker tournaments. Sign up and join along.

WWdN: Donegal Invitational on Poker Stars
Friday 11/4/2005, 7pm EST
$10 + 1 NL
Password is monkey


Saturdays with Dr. Pauly on Poker Stars
Saturday 11/5/2005, 1pm EST
$10 + 1 NL
Password is hiltons
Tournament #14338880


WPBT Shootout on Full Tilt
Sunday 11/6/2005, 3pm EST
$10 + 1 NL
Email Bill for the password
All but the Full Tilt tourney are open to everyone. Even if you can't play, stop on by for some fine blogger railbirding. You never know what Daddy might say.

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While you're at it, go check out Pauly's writeup of the Day Before Vegoose. Hippies, high rollers, and poker.

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Tonight is Thirsty Thursday. I swore off calling people on Tuesday but Thursday's are fair game. If I have your number, don't be surprised. Otis gets a free pass because I harassed him already this week and he's busy writing a novel in a month. I will definitely attempted to re-establish the dial-a-shot connection with G-Rob and I'm going to have to get Landow on the phone with The Blonde for a little Vegas pressure.

Thanks to the new wifi access at the bar, you can catch me for an IM-a-shot. AlCantHang on AOL and Yahoo.

Booze ahoy!

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Does anyone find it odd that the spell checker for blogger does not recogonize the words "blogger" or "google"?

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Quick links before I go.

God bless my boys. Wetherspoon pubs to open their doors for 9am drinkers.

And I know I have more readers on that side pond. Go sign up.

Finally, I was looking for a nice picture to post at the end. I took the very first image I found when I did a Google image search on Yummy.

Enjoy. Cheers.


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Wednesday, November 02, 2005

The New Rat Pack 

God damn it. I've got to stop this bad habit I have.

No, not the drinking. Don't be silly.

It's making calls after I'm drunk on a Tuesday. Thursday's I can get away with because it's close to the weekend. I have got to start remembering that most people are not getting their booze on this early in the week. One of these times Otis is going to tell me where to shove my shiny new cell phone. Christ, I'm the douchebag that woke him up at 4am in London right after he got over there. I am severely and remarkably retarded.

But I had news and wanted to share it.

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The bar was practically empty. It was just down to myself, BigMike, Lewey, and JDub. We were celebrating Lewey's second place finish in the Boathouse tourney with many alcoholic beverages. Celebrating might be the wrong word. It was a freakin' freeroll so what's the big deal. But we were drinking and toasting none the less.

I'm not sure how much of the good stuff we went through but I do know that Lewey had the bar down to their very last bottle of Jameson's.

BigMike and I were trying to convince Lewey to make the Vegas jaunt. I think he was close to deciding when the scene played out something like this.....

"Alright Lewey, you ARE going to Vegas." BigMike put his fist firmly down on the bar.

"OK OK, I'll take care of it tomorrow." Lewey has finally seen the light.

"Screw that. It's happening right now, what's your frequent flyer number" BigMike is cracking open his laptop again. This is a tale of booze and wifi access and silly ideas.

"Wha?!" Lewey is just looking at Mike. Not blinking. Not talking. Nothing.

"Dammit Lewey, give me your frequent flyer number. I'm booking it right now." Chirp chirp. Still nothing from Lewey. He's got six inches of vision and can't believe what he's hearing.

"Fuck it. You can take care of that at the airport when you check in." Lewey is now shaking his head so we know he's alive. He finally speaks up and hands over the necessary digits to receive his FF credits.

"There! You're booked. Congratulations. See you in Vegas. Now, will you require a penthouse suite or will the regular rooms do?" Lewey is now laughing his ass off. We have no idea where this started but we know how it ended. Lewey just chuckled and killed another Carbomb.

"Now about you JDub....." JDub's head snapped around.

Without going into those sordid details, within a few minutes JDub was on the phone with his wife and another member of the CantHang crew was on board.

One month ago I wasn't even sure I was going to Vegas.

2 weeks ago I knew I was going but that was it.

Now we've got the crew coming along. Last time this happened I was seen riding down the Strip at 9am with my head hanging out of a stretch Excursion head banging with the old frightened couple in the next lane while G-Rob was shitting himself thinking about his "morality" clause and "would that idiot please get back in the vehicle". Sweet mercy. I can feel the hangover from here.

I sure hope Bill warned the Imperial Palace that we were coming.

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For those at the Bash in September, you might remember JDub as the beer drinking, shot knocking, chatterbox bass player from ACHE. His lovely wife Kenna will be joining us and you'll recognize her as the girl with the anti-gravity shirt. It just wouldn't stay down.

Lewey is a legend. Trust me on this one. He actually put Pauly on tilt for a month after their first meeting.

Now I've just gotta get Landow on board.......

And maybe Phil again to take care of Iggy and sing the Chargers fight song during football at Mandalay Bay.....

And maybe somebody should buy me these pants for the trip. OK, scratch that one.

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Tuesday, November 01, 2005

I heart the Internet 

Sweet sweet internet. Oh, how I've missed you.

Verizon, in their infinite wisdom, have informed us that it will take between 5 and 8 !@#%&!@&% business days to get our DSL set up in the new house. Mother fu....

The geniuses from Comcast show up yesterday (on time, go figure) and it takes 2 techs, 1 supervisor, and a trip for a special tool an hour away just to get cable TO the house. Not IN the house. Just to the house. And once it's in the house, can they send the signal to program the DVR box? Of course not.

I can't friggin' believe I have to come into work just for internet access. Unless you count last night when I was on BigMike's laptop at the bar. Booze and internet make one happy Al.

The wussy assed delivery guys refused to carry the brand new washer all the way upstairs so it's currently residing in our living room like a couple hundred dollar paper weight.

If you're mentally challenged like I am, it takes an entire day to install a garage door opener. Aren't there peasants around to do this for me?

How come nobody warned me about this crap? Does everyone go through this crap when they buy a new house? Give me a duffel bag and an AMEX card and I'll see you in Vegas or Amsterdam or London.

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What's been going on while I've been on my semi-unscheduled hiatus....

- I was very happy when I read that MeanGene is making his way to Vegas in December. If I wasn't going before, I would be now. This is excellent. Now maybe I can talk him into starting up the MeanGene / AlCantHang ballot for the 2008 election. The VP gets all the free booze he can drink, right?

- The Eagles stink. Horrible. I don't even want to talk about it.

- Go over and say Happy Birthday to Felicia. It was yesterday and I did an IM-a-shot with her from the bar. I don't know what she was drinking but I wasn't feeling any pain.

- I got home too late to play in the Wil Wheaton friday night tourney but I was able to watch later on. You all should be embarrased for letting G-Rob win. Go flog yourselves right now.

- I went through blogger withdraw. My bloglines account is full up and it's like I have a month's worth of reading. I knew I had to get back to blogging because something would happen and I wouldn't automatically say to myself, "ow, I gotta write this down." Blogs are gay and addictive, so sayeth the blogfather.

Finally, I wasn't sure if I was actually going to link the following site. I really don't want to give any kind of traffic to them. This application is the work of the devil.

The Autoblogger Pro System takes articles syndicated via RSS and posts them to your site automatically, then using our Relinker autolinking system the system creates links from whatever word, or phrase you specify, and automatically hyperlinks them. Any number of words, or phrases can be added.
There ya have it. Are you too lazy to actually write your own content? do you enjoy stealing others work? Buy Autoblogger Pro System and become the most hated vile creature on the internet.

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On a lighter note, the link of the day IS NOT FROM SCUBA STEVE. Definitely not from Steve.

A song about big, hairy, 70's-style snapper...

Cheers and I'll catch you tomorrow. Where you at?

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