Friday, July 22, 2005

Hell week, the beginning 

"Where have you gone!" was the theme of a couple of emails I received yesterday. Damn, I don't post for one day and the site is languishing already.

The last couple of days my liver has been put in dry dock. Not for any of the normal reasons though. Not for health or wealthfare. Not for cash savings. (Eating 5 pounds of raw fatty tuna belly last night wasn't easy on the bankroll. Toro!) Mainly because starting today will be the beginning of a hardcore drinking binge that will last for nearly 10 days. Twice a year my friend Brad makes the long drive from Minnesota to the east coast and it's that time of year.

I haven't seen Brad since January when I made the crazy decision to fly to Minneapolis during one of their coldest streaks ever. -30F before you factor in the wind chill. During the trip I was able to meet Halverson, Drizz, and Chad for the first time while we watched the Eagles spank the living crap out of the Vikings (eff T.O. the ungrateful, selfish. prick) and get my drink on.

This time Brad is coming here and it's never pretty. By the time he leaves my liver will be screaming at the thought of another bottle of Southern. I'll be coughing up a consistent stream of lung butter from chain smoking cowboy killers. My ears will have the constant ring familiar to anyone who's spent 10 straight days standing in front of 8 foot bass bins pushing brain crunching metal. By the time he leaves, my dear faithful reader, I will have made the decision to go on the wagon again.

Have no fear. It will only be temporary. The girls at the Boathouse call me "Fun Bobby" when I go on the wagon and I have no idea what that means other than it has something to do with the show Friend's. This is a standard cleansing process after 11 hard months of traveling and drinking with the rich and famous.

Why, you ask, is Brad coming into town such a big drinking deal? Good question.

Brad is the single main influence into why I toil with this horrible, despicable behavior of boozing. Back in the day, it was nothing for us to hit a different bar/rock club for each day of the week. No big deal if our friends are playing in Long Beach Island a mere 3 hours away and we have to work the next morning. We can always sober up on the drive home. I've spent more time in more bars with Brad than anyone else I know. And that includes BigMike.

The time came when he found out his company was closing the local office. They made him an offer he couldn't refuse and he moved off to the land of Nordic hotties and something called "Minnesota Nice". Ya, you betcha.

Now when he makes the trip back here, it gets tougher and tougher to fit 6 months of partying into 10 short days.

But we still try. Oh boy, do we ever try.

Pray for me.


Here is your homework assignment for the weekend.

I'm going to work with BadBlood and everyone else to come up with a comprehensive CD of the greatest thrash songs ever.

One of my favorites, Anthrax - Indians




Wednesday, July 20, 2005

A.C. Day 2 and other collected junk 

"My point is, you never know when nut-cutting time is going to hit."
Scott gets quote of the day. And it has absolutely nothing to do with farming.

Ruthless Jack gets the "crushing work productivity" link of the day. God damn online Battleship keeps me from working OR posting. By the way.... I'm the greatest at the game. EVER. I'm just waiting on a call from the DoD. (RJ asked what club I support.... check out the jersey, ignore the buck-toothed Elvis. Chelsea since I was a kid.).

Thanks to Ferris for pointing out this article about Champions League matches being shown on the internet.

Finally, I'm going to agree with Halverson and recommend One of a Kind : The Rise and Fall of Stuey "The Kid" Ungar, The World's Greatest Poker Player by Nolan Dalla and Peter Alson for your reading pleasure. An excellent read.


Now don't everybody get all nuts and crazy on me, but nothing but poker in the post from here on out. (and of course some booze)

"No shit!", you exclaim.

No shit.


Last night was the weekly Boathouse freeroll. Nothing major but it's fun to sit around, play retard poker, and drink to my hearts content without worrying about blowing my buy-in in a booze induced spurt of uncontrollable aggression. No buyin, no worries. The worst that could happen is I spend a couple of hours in the bar, pay my tab, and bolt home. Shit. I'd be doing that anyway. Best case scenario is one of us wins, we sit around the bar for a couple of hours, then use the winnings to pay off the bartab. It's a win-win situation.

Between 45 and 50 players started off last night. I grabbed a seat with JDub and Landow on my left. A couple of chippies in their softball gear across the table. One player to my right who seems to know what he's doing.

JDub, Landow, and myself spend the first couple of levels just beating the crap out of each other. No soft playing here. Then I find that friggin' hand that screwed me in the blogger tourney. QQ. Softball chippy number 1 and I both ended up with all the money in the middle and my queens held up against 77.

The very next hand? QQ again! and another all-in against a baby pair that stands up. I've got a very nice stack of chips when another big stack is moved to our table. Next thing you know, all our chips are in the middle with me ahead and him drawing for a 4 flush. Naturally it hit the turn and I'm left with only $6 of my starting $100. Not even enough for the BB. (Players start with $100 and blinds start at 1/2 and go up every 30 minutes.)

I pushed "all in" in the dark 4 straight hands and won every single one. I picked up enough chips where I could start playing real again.

2 hours later I was sitting at the final table with JDub, Landow, the Princess, and 4 schlubs (including the douche with the 4 flush). I made it from "down to the felt" to 3rd place and picked up enough loot to cover half of my bar tab.


So what can I say about the poker room in the Resorts Casino in AC. Fishy, touristy, fishy, fishy, fishy.

I wasn't having any luck hopping on an O8 table at the Taj so I took the long walk again down to Resorts. They looked juicy the day before and my logic was that any real poker player would be next door at the Taj and Resorts should have nothing but tourists looking to burn through some Benji's.

Man, was I right.

I only sat for about 4 hours but my win rate was $40/hour at 2/4. Craziness. With a slight hangover kicking around, I chose limit over the 1/2NL to keep myself from steaming off a couple of buy-ins.

How did I know it was going to be a good table? One gentleman sat down and the dealer tells him he's in the Big Blind. Mister "I am gonna give you all my money" asks the dealer, "What does that mean?"

Bingo. Bells and alarms are going off in my head. This guy burned through more $100 bills than I thought possible in a 2/4 game including one monster where he was raising my trip 10's with....

Bottom pair, bottom kicker.

No kidding. The all powerful 82o.

During my frequent smoke breaks I checked out the other tables and they were all playing the same as mine. Very loose. Very passive. Very little pre-flop raising from the fishes. There were two decent players sitting to my right. We managed to stay out of each others way and enjoyed our fast food fish sandwich.

For a new and very small poker room, I was really happy with the way it was run. The floor managers were helpful, the dealers ran the games very well (including one dealer almost laying the smackdown on a moron who actually reached into the pot thinking he was owed change), and the cocktail service was quick. I was never left with an empty glass.

The bad parts weren't really that bad. Obviously you're not going to this room looking for a huge game selection. It's a fun place to relax and troll. There is no cashier near the 'room'. Every player buys their chips directly from the dealer. The problem arose when I tried to color up for the walk to the cashier on the other side of the casino. The dealer only had 4 $25 chips. I had to make the trek with $300 in red chips and did I mention that they don't have any chip racks. And I was drinking.

Luckily I made it to the cashier without dumping reds across, under, and behind the ancient slot machines.

I would recommend their room if you're looking to blow off a little steam at the low limits with very soft opponents.

Just for -EV, I'll mention that apparently I was the first to ever call out "LIVE 4!" in their room.

Cheers for beers. Have a good day.


Pardon the Interruption 

The following is offered without any additional commentary....

FIFA World Rankings


Tuesday, July 19, 2005

A.C. Day 1 

First things first....

Happy 25th Birthday to the Poker playing Penguin. The Kiwi, playing a Canuck.

And congrats to Blu on the upcoming Lil' Blu.


Joaquin sent me this link and I had to post it just for JoeSpeaker.

Given the myth and mystique of Los Angeles as a place where dreams come true, it is only fitting that soccer's own version of a dream team arrived in the City of Angels late Saturday night. I'm referring, of course, to the perfectly coifed, manicured and Armani-tailored superstars of Spanish outfit Real Madrid, who are in town to play an exhibition game against the L.A. Galaxy.
Metro-sexual JoeSpeaker plays for Real Madrid? Who knew?


The trip to AC came up at the last minute and I really had no plans for the trip heading down. A little booze with BigMike, some juicy Omaha/8 action at the Taj, maybe even some Bobby Bracelet-style craps. We figured we'd swing by the new beach bar, Nikki Beach, at Resorts since our drink mistress Bridget moved there from the Boathouse. Bridget kept us regularly sloshed during the football season and we thought we'd return the favor.

The ride down the AC Expressway was remarkably event free considering it was a Friday afternoon. Everybody and their mother should have been heading for the shore but we must have gotten the jump on them. In no time flat we were checked into our hotel and headed towards the Taj. While the girls darted towards the Grubbyslot machines, BigMike and I started the hike between the Taj and Resorts to check out the bar. The walkway/labrynth between the two reminded me of my first time walking from the Excalibur to Mandalay Bay. Drunk. I spent 40 minutes wandering around the Luxor trying to find the connecting walkway.

I knew the name was "Nikki Beach Bar", but who the hell figured it was actually ON the beach. My fat sweaty ass is built for air condtioning and climate controlled environments. Unless I'm 40 miles out to sea with a fishing pole in my hands, Mother Nature can screw herself. We had to cross the boardwalk and actually walk across the beach to get to the bar.

Nikki Beach Bar is apparently the new hip and happening place in AC (if that's actually possible). A large odd shaped bar sitting on an constructed board walk-style floor. The bar is surrounded by couches, lounge chairs, and BEDS all made up in white. Everywhere you look. White. The bartenders and waitresses. All dressed in white. The place had girls dancing around in skimpy suits drinking their mojito's and acting like they didn't have a care in the world. I'd love to show you some pictures, but the gorilla-sized bouncers (in white, of course) did not look too friendly.

We found out that the 'beds' and couches were reserved for VIP's. You too could be a VIP for the small price of their bottle service. Buy a bottle a person and you can have the run of the place. $200 minimum per bottle of course.

Girls not included.

For Mike and I, we figured that was pretty reasonable considering we were paying $13 a shot. All for the privilege of sitting around with a bunch of good looking, self important people.

Bridget was not working which put us in a surly mood but drinking many many shots sitting in the sun put us in a drunken happy mood. Very confusing.

We decided to take ourselves back into Resorts. While researching the location of the beach bar, I came across the following announcement on the Resorts website....

There's a brand new poker room at Resorts. It's the place to play your favorites - Texas Hold 'Em and 7-Card stud. And it's located right in the casino, in front of Platinum Place Slots. It's all poker, all the time.
What the heck, why not check out a new poker room? Might be good.

Resorts poker room consisted of exactly 6 (six) tables with only 3 running at 6pm on a Friday and only 2/4 LHE. It looks like they just moved a couple rows of slots out of the way and put in the tables. With a nice buzz going and no desire to sit at Resorts, we decided to track down a good craps table.

The 3 craps tables running were packed solid with grandma and pa's pissing away their kid's inheritance or, more likely, their Social Security checks. And the rocks were never leaving. I gave Mike the opportunity at the one spot open and off he went. He built up a nice stack until some Red Foxx looking character started yapping and cooled the table off like you wouldn't believe. 5 straight rollers each with only two rolls. Establish a point, then crap out. 5 times in a row. Mikey busted down pretty low and the buzz was wearing off.

One of the other plans we had made for Friday night was a trip to the Borgata to hang out with Johnny Dee and Billy Childs. You may remember them as the drummer and bass player from over-the-top hair band Britny Fox. They're both playing in a good cover band and I thought you, my faithful reader and hair band lover, would appreciate the story.

Alas, it was not to happen. As we were hovering around the hallway in the Taj, I ran into none other than Vinny Martello formally of Crystal Roxx. No one outside Philly knows these guys, but he was the guitar player and writer of the original Al Can't Hang song. Click for the accoustic version.

With Vinny and his new band playing at the Casbah deck overlooking the boardwalk, we decided to stay for the night. Our lovely Bulgarian waitress Svetlana was cute as a button but was having a hard time getting the orders correct. Once we got the Soco working, when we tried to order a double shot of Grey Goose for Vinny, she brought us 2 (two) Grey Goose and grapefruit. Wha?

Here's what the table eventually looked like after ordering the first round. Two double Southerns, two double Grey Goose, two Grey Goose and grapefruit (ech).

Fat belly dancers, old grandma's hitting on me in front of a laughing Eva, many more $13 shots of Southern, a huge vat of brownies and ice cream at 4am (don't ask. really) and 3 sets later, Princess Eva carted my drunk again ass back to the hotel.

I had alot to do the next day. Poker dammit. 12 hours in AC and not a single hand of poker.

Next up.....

Resorts Poker Room, can it really be the live version of Party Poker?


Monday, July 18, 2005

Click here to see how to lose a nearly $12,000 pot in a blogger tourney.


Back soon with a trip report from Atlantic City this weekend.....