Saturday, July 02, 2005

Craziness. I had every intention of coming back on Thursday and writing up a proper post. Obviously I got ratholed by work. Then the last night of oncall really drove it hard and deep. Up at 2am and work straight through until they kick me out of work in the afternoon, presumably because I started speaking in tongues and smelled like the dock at low tide.

But the pager is in someone elses hands, I've spent some quality time with my couch, re-energized, and slapping together a rare weekend post. Which no one will read because the number of hits on the weekend are practically nil.

I'm writing this up as Live 8 is rolling along 30 minutes down the Skuykill Expressway from my house. MTV and VH1's coverage blows so I'm streaming it live. You couldn't get me down there for anything. Too hot, too crowded, and lacking in decents acts for me to put up with 6 hours of preaching.

Kayne West. Anyone get a look at the mandible on this cat. Good lord. And getting preached at by someone who shows off his garage full of Bentley's on Cribs ain't gonna cut it. Next!

So I managed to get some poker in last night playing in a cheap Omaha8 tourney on Stars with Felicia and a slightly intoxicated Gracie. Of course, Gracie on queue out lasts us both. I was in the land of suckouts and maniacs. For once, I was the one laying the suckouts on the maniacs and built a nice stack. ~200 out of ~700. Gracie just missed the money.

Big Willy time in Philly. He had to do Summertime or else their might have been a riot. Heard the first E-A-G-L-E-S Eagles chant.

Hype Park looks a bit different from when I was there. For a guy who's been noted for his spontaneous trips, the craziest was deciding in November 2001 to take off for London on 4 days notice. Just for the weekend.

We flew out of Philly on Thanksgiving Day and returned that next monday morning. I memorized the entire London Underground map (bah) and off we went. Of course jet lag kicked us in the stones as soon as we got there. I knocked back a Guinness and the hotel lobby and the Guinness knocked me right back. By the time we actually got moving that first day I found the disturbing fact that London pubs close insanely early.

We spent one entire day wandering through the British Museum gazing in wonder at the treasures plundered from other countries.

We took the tour of all the touristy type places (Look kids, Big Ben) and drank plenty of Strongbow. Question for my UK friends, does that make me a wuss? Drinking Strongbow? I'm not sure.

Update: According to David, yes, that makes me a wuss. Probably a monster wuss at that.

I'd also like to thank the brilliant person who decided it was a good idea to paint on the ground which direction I should be looking at the cross walks. That saved me several times from getting runover by a black cab.

We spent two short days running around, drinking, and eating. In no time flat we were back on the plane heading home.

It was one of craziest ideas that ever popped in my head but now I have the urge to make a proper trip back across the pond. If the wifey wants to, of course.

A supposedly live cut from Philly to Coldplay (aka Songs to Commit Suicide To) live in London. Except I saw this performance earlier. And it's behind schedule already. Rumors on the radio that Bob Dylan or the Rolling Stones will be closing the Philly show. We'll see.

I think Bob Geldof died 10 years ago but his corpse is still walking around. ech.

Loving Madonna's new fake English accent. You can have her.

Did I mention my fine dinner on Thursday? Of course I didn't. I haven't been around to mention it.

As the immortal BG says, "Baby animals taste yummy." I also had the BG Baby Animal Exacta. Veal for lunch and a bad ass, food coma inducing, rack of lamb for dinner.

I ate so much fine food that I couldn't even stay at the bar afterwards for the traditional thursday night blinding drunkfest.

And a good thing I didn't, because just a few hours later would be the first page of the early morning that would crush my will to live.


More thoughts about Live 8 as it goes along. Not that anyone cares at least it will keep me somewhat interested.

- Dave Matthew's Band in Philly sounding stoned off his ass. Is he a stoner or just stupid? I've heard conflicting reports. Both maybe. I think he has 20 minutes to play. Which means he'll have to cut his ONE song off very early. Whatever they're doing now, I could imagine a trippy Dr. Pauly and The Red Jacket digging it. (but he doesn't dig Dave Matthews.

- Had to delete a very tastless joke about the very tasty pizza I'm currently eating.

- Joss Stone in London. Yummy.

- Holy shit, a rock band who's last hit wasn't 20 years ago. Linkin' Park. Not a great start but they picked up. Where's Jay-Z?

There he is.

- Switched over to the London feed for Velvet Revolver. Paris Hilton shown off to the side of the crowd. How 'bout throwing some of that inheritence to Africa? Maybe the proceeds of One Night In Paris?

- Back to Def Leppard in Philly. Man, just not the same without the mullets in my opinion but they sound decent.


Enough of this rubbish. I'm gonna sit back, play some poker, and watch a crappy ass movie.



Thursday, June 30, 2005

Wow, turn into a comment whore and see what happens. Pretty friggin' cool.

For Christian in Denmark who came for the pics and is waiting for more.... how 'bout Jessica Alba at this years MTV Movie Awards?

For the rest of you, enjoy the song of the day. I never really had a chance to enjoy SouthPark along with everyone else. Whenever it was on, I was generally up to my man tits in booze and never got around to watching them. Thanks to the new DVR, the wifey has managed to record every damned one of them (at least it seems that way). The episode we watched last night was the FingerBang show. Listen to it twice.

Hopefully back with more later.


Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Who knew? Bobby Bracelet keeps talking about his huge junk, I guess we now know how it was confirmed. And if Officer Francis 'Ponch' Poncherello says it's true.... who am I to argue?


I've been doing some occasional surfing around the internuts checking out other blogs. I'm here to tell you there is some prime-time hardcore junk out there. But I have come across some good stuff.

The above was found at Ruthless Jack who cracks me up.

Come on, if this and this aren't my mind numbing sense of humor, what is?

By the way, if you want to make your own Gaylord page, http://your.name.isagaylord.com and replace 'your.name' with any you wish.


I don't know if this is real or not but it was the first thing I saw this morning and I thought of all the people I know out there who have to doing a ton of air travel. I found it at GiggleChick.

Seat 29E Complaint

"...or is it the passengeres asses that seem to fit into my personal space like a pornographic jig-saw puzzle?"
A very odd thing occurred when I tried to leave a comment on the blog including my URL. I got a message saying...

Your comment could not be submitted due to questionable content: poker

Wha?! Me, questionable content? Fuck that.


Two tales coming to you from New Hampshire. One good, one very very disturbing.

The first will give Scott a chuckle. Effing Supreme Court says it's ok to take your land? How 'bout a little payback...

"Weare, New Hampshire (PRWEB) Could a hotel be built on the land owned by Supreme Court Justice David H. Souter? A new ruling by the Supreme Court which was supported by Justice Souter himself itself might allow it. A private developer is seeking to use this very law to build a hotel on Souter's land."
Then you turn around and get this fine upstanding citizen of the state....

Man Pulled From Women's Outhouse Tank
Teenager Reports Seeing Man's Face In Toilet


Enough link dumping. I actually did get to play some live poker last night. OK, it was live but it was just a crappy freeroll at the Boathouse last night.

Quick summary. Card dead forever. Maniacs at the table but I get nothing to play back with. Get shortstacked and push with KJ and get beaten by a nekkid Ace.

Game over.

I spent more time dealing to the table after I was knocked out than I actually playing.

After sucking down some Redbull and Stoli to wake me up then some Soco to put me in the proper frame of mind, BigMike and I headed back towards the House of Eva for some DVR reruns of American Dad and Family Guy.

Now THAT'S the exciting kind of life I live, ladies and gentlemen.


Before I sign off for the day....

Checking my stats, I'm getting a shit load of hits from outside North America. I'm fishing for comments from somewhere other than North America, the UK ( my only confirmed reader from the UK is the infamous Pinky) or Australia (Heafy the Poker playing film buff).

Do I have to assume all the hits from Finland, Sweden, and Republic of Korea (I'm not shitting you here) are hitting my site just because they're pervs and searching on a certain picture or two?


Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Weekend insanity 

While a bunch of poor saps were struggling through their workday, I was able to take some time to play a round of golf. And this was fun golf. It was a charity best ball golf tournament with mostly bar type folk who are completely offended by an 8am tee time. The weather started out nice. A little overcast but that kept it from getting too hot and my pasty white ass from getting too sunburned.

Our team included BigMike, FatAssBob, and Terry fromm the Boathouse. And don't you know we finished in a tie for 3rd? A stellar 6 under 64. I'd try to bore you with some details because who cares. The best part about playing in a Boathouse charity tourney is the free booze back at the bar after the round. BigMike and I started knocking them back around 1pm and I was looped by the time the wife showed up at 5.

They had a raffle during the party where I managed to win a prize which is about the most useless thing in the world for me. Our favorite kiwi turned canuck may think it's great, Pauly and MeanGene may like the beer..... but when am I ever going to use this? A damned snowboard? Are you kidding me. Give me a hundred degrees, some sand, and bikinis before you'll catch me on a mountain freezing my hippy ass off. (at least I managed to avoid winning the mountain bike. Now that just would have been stupid)

After finishing off god knows how many Soco's, my eyes are starting to drop and BigMike hands me my new second favorite alocholic drink. RedBull and Stoli. And not one of the tiny little foofoo cups. A big 24oz cup with 50% red bull and 50% vodka. Nice. Now I'm wide awake, getting drunker by the minute, and the wifey is giving me that "oh crap, don't do this to me again" look. Just before the sunset, we decide that enough is enough and head back to Casa de CantHang. I do think the wife needs to stop giving me the phone when I'm drunk. That will avoid any further drunk calls to famous people trying to do their job.

Once again I went all day with only a breakfast sandwich for my belly and the sleep deprivation really didn't help.

I did manage to get a pic for Jerry (it's been awhile) and the rest of the pics are here.


A round of golf yesterday was the only positive thing to occur since my last post. When I wrote that this was going to be hell week, I never had any idea it would be this bad. From Friday night until Sunday morning, I was averaging about 3 hours of sleep a night. This doesn't include the several times I found myself snapping awake while sitting up on the couch with the laptop sitting in front me with it still dialed into a client. It got to the point that I was afraid to look at the pager for fear of waking it up.

With the wifey in upstate PA helping BigMike with more family business and tearing up the town, I was left to my own resources for survival. The AC was cranked up hard core and I never saw the outside world with the exception of my meals being delivered by the hard working crew of the various local eating establishments which included one incredible stromboli, one passible pizza, and one completely horrific chinese meal. The stromboli didn't last long, the pizza made a decent breakfast on Sunday, and the chinese was so bad the nasty crazy cat next door wouldn't even touch it and I've seen it eat it's own excrement.

The weekend was one big blur. I managed to find time to play in a small Omaha8 tourney with Felicia, Drizz, and BG. I can't remember if that was Saturday or Sunday. The structure was so rough, in the later rounds you couldn't afford to miss a hand with second best. My cripple job happened when I flopped a set and the nut straight only to get flushed on the turn. I made it through more than half the field but that's not really saying much in these tourney's.


Some miscellaneous thoughts from this weekend of sleep deprivation....

- how is it that Jennifer Love Hewitt didn't win an Oscar for I Know What You Did Last Summer? At least her torso area somewhere between her neck and stomach should have won the Best Supporting Oscar. I'm just saying.

- The Poker Superstars Invitational II or whatever they call that crap on FoxSports has to be the worst poker slop in the history of crappy televised poker slop.

- I think Otis needs to go give Isabelle that europian double cheek kiss thing shortly or I'm going to have to out there and do it myself. Don't tempt me. I'll do it.

- And for Otis, three words. Brad-o-ween. Is. Booked.

- Johnny Fucking Chan, ladies and gentlemen.

- When did HBO late night become the new Skinemax? I'm not complaining but good lord what a surprise that was at 4am.

- I have officially seen every episode of Law and Order franchise and I'm that much dumber for it.

- The new Headbanger's Ball is complete rubbish


That is all for now.

Cheers to the handful of readers left.