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Saturday, February 12, 2005

I'm sitting here on a Saturday. The wifey has left to go spend money. Damageplan is on MusicChoice, and BadBlood's Slayer DVD is going in shortly (the wifey doesn't particulary care for it)

This is what I do for you, my faithful reader. Sacrificing a perfectly good Saturday to catch up on everything from the week past that I was forced to bypass.

Ok, I'm actually really happy to be doing nothing but sitting on my couch instead of a plague infested airplane.

My surprise trip that never got off the ground? I was so close to heading down the Green-vegas for Otis' job-change party. A couple of more days notice and BigMike and I would have been dropping shot for shot with the SC contingent. As it was, I did spend the night doing dial-a-shots with G-Rob, BadBlood, and Otis throughout the night. The last one was around 1:45 this morning when I could hear the band in the background dedicate a song to My Man Otis.

Rumor has it that Otis was very "ill-equipped" at that point but you can never tell with these professional drinkers. I never did get a phone call from a stripper named Amber so I'm guessing they never actually made it that far.

Next time! I swear I'll be there for the next shindig.

~

Just 'cause it always cracks my ass up, I tend to keep the bartab from big nights just to see how we did. The last time I did this was the Mandalay Sports Book during the blogger tourney.

Here's our bartab (minus silly stuff like food) during the Super Bowl. The number of shots can be directly tied to the number of dial-a-shots being done. BadBlood in SC, Brad in Minnesota, Tony in WestChester, and Pauly in NYC (psuedo-dial a shots, heheh). The shots also tended to build up as the game got closer to finish.

28 Double Southern Comfort
21 Miller Lite Draft
8 Yuengling Lager
3 Guinness Draft (god bless Iggy)
2 Soda (wha fook?)
2 Miller Lite Bottle
2 Amstel Lite
2 Cuervo (Lewey!)
1 Mich Ultra Bottle

Our lovely waitress was probably worried about how much she'd make on the day when we invaded the bar and took over a good chunk of her section. She needn't have worried. Especially when BigMike hit the final score on a $20 block pool.

Anyone interested in a $100 SuperBowl block pool for next year? Payouts by quarter, $1000, $2000, $3000, and $4000? Just throwing it out there.

~

If you can't laugh at this..... I seriously question whether you have a funny bone.

~

I started this post Saturday morning, promptly had a nasty relapse of the flu, and spent the rest of the weekend in a drug-induced coma.

Then got a call saying to be at work promptly at 6am on Monday.

Ugh.

I tried.

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Friday, February 11, 2005

Hell week 

From the Dero wing of the research center, single day renaming rights to Boston's FleetCenter.

My ideas....

The AlCantHang Center (yawn)
BonusCodeIggy Center
The Patriots Can Eat My Ass Center

From BG:

The Boston Can Lick New York's Balls Center

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Wow.

So here's how my days have gone.....

I'm guaranteed to have 4 or 5 senior management type people at my desk no later than 8:30am. For the next two or three hours they will hover and poker at me. Like little kids poking the poor animals at the zoo with sticks.

Once they are gone and I can actually work, now I have to figure out why everything has gone to complete hell.

I haven't had a solid drinking night since Sunday. My liver is feeling neglicted.

It also feels weird to have a Friday roll around and I have absolutely no plans to travel this weekend. Apparently I'll be having a 'get reacquainted day' with my couch.

What sucks is that I was ((this)) close to having plans to travel today. It would have been a fine surprise blogger visit but, alas, the plans have fallen through.

Who's next on my list? No more travel plans until Key West in April.

~

Blogging all day tomorrow and Sunday. I still have stories and pics to post from the Super Bowl weekend.

Here's a funny one to tide you over.

BigMike and mini-Mike (FatAssBob) from the weekend.


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Thursday, February 10, 2005

I would have loved to posted yesterday but I'm shortstacked at work.

I would have loved to mention the psuedo-blogger Omaha8 table Tuesday night. After drinking a bit of the nectar following a crappy day of work and a sad imitation of Mardi Gras, Sean asks about playing some O8. Not long after, CJ, Otis, PokerGeek, and Felicia are sitting around playing the silliest game ever.

And I tilted worse than ever before when a fishy fish hit his one outter on the river. I didn't so much as tap on the glass as I put my hand through it and choked him.

I mean come on, eff mother variance. I haven't played many hands in the last week yet 3 times I've been hit by 2 outters than the 1 outter Tuesday.

That also caused me to switch gears. You think loose crazy in HE is fun, try it in Omaha. ANY FOUR CARDS! Actually ended putting a nasty beat on Felicia in the process.

The table was joined by two players who's least interesting fact was that they both have read this here blog. The most interesting? We were joined by RonJeremy and DirkDigler (name's changed slightly). How cool is that? Roller girl didn't make an appearance but that really would have been funny.

~

The best comment/email I received from my silly little "Dutch Boyd" wannabe poser eBay auction.....
"I met Al in the Bahamas at a bar outside the poker room. He was entertaining my girlfriend and her friend on smoke breaks while pounding double shots of SoCo. I thought i would never hear from him again, but now i have an opportunity to stake him in a tournament. Sign me up... I just hope i can be there to bring him Southern Comfort every half hour. Long live Al and the Hammer!"

For those who might remember that little Bahamas trip, G-Rob and myself spent a large chunk of time at the bar where G-Rob decided that he owned a bar in Aruba.

Just making friends, that's all we're doing here.

~

I can't take it anymore. I need to find someone who's owns a company and is looking for an overpaid, under qualified slacker to take their money.

Or maybe an old bat on her death bed with money to burn. That might do also.

Absolutely zero time to post. So I guess I'm gonna get yelled at again.



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Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Happy Mardi Gras! 



Happy Mardi Gras.

It's a very odd day for me. For the second year in a row I am not standing on a balcony overlooking Bourbon Street playing puppetmaster with 5cent trinkets. I should be just staggering myself out of bed looking for the first Hurricane of the 'day'. Hair of the dog is a common theme for the 4 crazy days.

We'd have the secord or third monster Hurricane upstairs at the Cat's Meow by 11am and hanging over the rail. The first drunk will be thrown out by noon. The first arrest by 2pm.

The best arrest story I have from Mardi Gras involved the Cat's Meow on Mardi Gras Day. One of the big problems during the drunken stretch is properly timing your restroom breaks. If you wait to long, it could be painful when you get stuck in an hour long line for the one mens room upstairs.

One poor guy just couldn't do it.

While JDub and I were standing on the sidestreet section of the balcony of Cat's Meow, the bouncers under the balcony come running out, pointing up to our section of the balcony, and talking on the their radios. We look around and see a guy taking a piss in the corner of the balcony. The same corner which is located directly over the entrance to the upstairs section. Seconds later, two monstrous bouncer grab the guy, get him under control, and out the door. He's turned over to the police who are set up right outside the place. He's cuffed, rebuffed, and obviously obliterated. The best part is when the bouncers are seen whispering to the officers.

The officer smiled, shook his head, and walked away from the handcuffed man. Bouncer #1 grabbed the man by the handcuffs and walked him back under the balcony.

Directly underneath where his, ahem, 'sample' is still draining down from the balcony. Wow, was he one pissed offon camper. But I'm fairly certain he learned his lesson about urinating in public.

~

Here's the very first thing I saw the last time I was at Mardi Gras. I thought I was hallucinating.



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A crazy time this last weekend although I'm still not ready to talk about the game.

Sunday I was doing dial-a-shots with what seemed like half the country. South Carolina, Minnesota, NYC, and Philly.

I'm waiting for the pics but they should be interesting when they're ready.

~

I've finally kicked the nasty flu except for a naggy whooping cough probably brought on by my refusal to stop smoking the cowboy killers when I can't breathe anyway.

I'll be finishing up some odds and ends in the personal life and we should be back packing a punch later in the week.

Cheers.

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