Friday, June 18, 2004

Thursday night recap 

Last night turned into one of the classics. Started with an office party for our new C-level and ended with Anthrax. Everything else in the middle is just a tad blurry.

Thank god for digital cameras so I can rebuild my evening one step at a time.

A couple of weeks ago I was asked to set up a party for our new CSO who coincidently was my group manager. And a regular at my past poker tournaments. So of course I set the party up at my normal boozefest bar.

Generally speaking, drinking with upper management is usually not a good proposition. These guys can drink though. I have pictures that I can't upload because it could be detrimental to my career. They took over the entire bar and drinks were flowing freely. (truly free). Not thinking about the long term, I consumed right along with them nevermind that I had a contest to run (drinking the entire time). Usually I leave right after the contest but I forgot that these work gatherings generally go until someone gets an angry wife call at 4am while we're sitting in the diner eating pancakes and 'shit on a shingle'.

This is where is gets a little fuzzy. Tanya from WYSP (seen here with DJSteve) shows up and we start the contest. Somewhere along the line, Landow made a new friend. No idea what her name was but she was helping out Tanya most of the time.

The work party started to slow down when Gil shows up with the wifey (the girl on the left). More drinks became readily available and I actually, momentarily, considered stopping. Almost. Even MonkeyBoy got involved.

All morning people have come up to me asking how everything went, what time did everyone leave... I honestly have no idea what time we left the bar. So please stop asking.

There were some things I remembered though. Maudie, this one is from the wifey.

And finally, Jerry, after so long. This one is for you. Say hi to Adrienne.


At this point, I've pretty much resolved myself to the fact that there is a whole new level of hell just waiting for us.


Honest to god, real freakin' poker will be played tonight at Lewey's. Lewey won't be there but the knucklehead is actually giving me a key to his place so we can go play without him.

ah boy.

So I will actually be posting a poker post tomorrow assuming I can see straight.


Thursday, June 17, 2004


Pauly has published the June issue of Truckin'. Check it out. Pauly, BoyGenius, PokerPenguin, and myself have stories in this issue.

Thanks to Pauly, again, for putting my rubbish on the 'net.

For those wondering, yes, the band Spooge really did exist. Here's a pic from my party last year where they re-united for one show. The bald guy is FatAssBob.


Wednesday, June 16, 2004

My apologies 

I'm going to apologize right off the bat. I do not wish to offend anyone and it's all the wifey's fault. It was her idea. Punish her, not me.

Before I even get into it, someone brought me a pack of Marlboro from the Duty Free shop at the airport. Philip Morris finally has a proper advertising campaign. For us non-breeders, it's perfect.

Happy Hour started off nice and slow, for me anyway. Mrs. Can't Hang wasn't feeling real well and dealt with it true family fashion. Shots.

Landow left his camera hanging around (after he was apparently attacked by a shark) and the girls started having fun. Even some MonkeyBoy spanking occurred.

Note: The following pics may contain graphic cleavage. Beware if you are at work. How's that BG?

They began practicing taking pictures from interesting angles (Danielle). Finally, the elusive redhead made an appearance. Again, I must repeat that this was not my idea and I did not take the pictures. Blame the wifey.

Jerry, you're just going to have to take my word. She was a redhead.


Now that all the pervs are chuckling (gotta give the hijenny.com guys a peek), and I've insulted the rest of my readers, let's continue.


The first leg of my casino whoring is complete. +$226 including the bonus and the cash popped into my account last night. I've loaded up River Belle and I'm ready to make some more money. Many thanks to Grubby for posting the information.


From the Poker Penguin:

Wanted: One Nemesis.

I'm getting jealous of the Boy Genius - Pauly weekly competition. I want a rival too. But since I don't have one right now, and paying off my losings my be problematic (unless it gets to $50, in which case party inter-account transfers can come to the rescue).

I have officially offered up myself in the role of challenger.

If you haven't seen Pauly and BoyGenius' bets, you should go check them out. Pauly is up 3 to 2.


Enough of this rubbish for now. Maybe more later. I have to go study up on Formula 1 racing! Does Alain Prost still drive?


Tuesday, June 15, 2004

Sri Lankan Peace Ceremony 

Oh good Lord, this can't be a good sign.

Dead dove prompts Sri Lanka probe

The doves were handed over by soldiers to dignitaries and politicians
The Sri Lankan authorities have ordered an inquiry after a dove freeing ceremony intended to symbolise peace went disastrously wrong.

One bird was dead before take-off and "dropped like a brick" soon after it left the hands of the public security minister at a ceremony last weekend.


ZZZZZ another boring post 

As the days roll by and my entries continue to build, I find myself struggling to find new, fresh material. I've been spending a lot of time browsing other blogs including (gasp) non-poker bloggers. But I feel my entries have become predictable and, according to the lovely Missy, quite dull. Of course, she's personally witnessed most of the stupid acts from the bar I've written about.

I won't have any poker content to provide this week due to bar commitments but that will give me more time to track down the elusive red-head.

And for Maudie, I have informed Mrs. Can't Hang that she is on beefcake patrol to find you a good pic from the bar this week.

Speaking of Maudie, a couple answers to comments a couple of posts ago.

- No, I don't ever kick the cat. That's just a crude reference to my frustrations. Wifey would kill me because he is her cat. He was there before me.

- 'YSP is a local Philly radio station. 94 WYSP. Melissa is a radio personality from the station.

- Yes, I do have a shitload of hair.

In one of her recent posts, Maudie mentions a very impolite PartyPoker player who was very rude to our fellow blogger. I am calling upon my brethren and sisters to find this lowlife and remove from him the burden of his bankroll. And as the poor sap is crying in the corner, please be sure to remind him in chat that he "should behave himself when he is in the presence of a lady" His username is SWAT5 (if that's wrong, please correct me). For some of our bigger stacked bloggers, when the horrible grind of low limit 15/30 gets to you, why not track this fine example of a human down. For you, it will be like a little batting practice before the big game.

Just for shits and giggles, I'll even put a small bounty on him. I'll pay 50c on the dollar for the amount he lost on the hand that busts him to zero on that particular table. If you bust him from $20 to $0 on the NL table, I'll transfer 10 whole American Dollars to your account. Don't forget to let him know he shouldn't be rude to our friends. Send me the hand history and it's all yours.


Answers to other questions in my comments.

MD2020, yes, I am working on several local tournaments right now. One, a two-table high-buyin tourney and another 100 player tourney at a local VFW.

Sloejack, I use www.sitemeter.com for my web stats. I may try out BoyGenius' suggestion of www.statcounter.com and see which is best.


As promised, here's the beginning of my next story for Pauly's e-zine, Truckin'. It should be published shortly and I will post the URL here when it is completed. If you want to read the origin story, here's the link. Let me know what you think.

Stories from the Bar: Road Trippin' with the Band

"Jesus Christ, FatAss look at the rack on that girl."

There was a broken down van and another car on the side of the highway. She was sitting on the trunk of the car in a bikini.

"Shit Al, she's not a girl, that's fuckin' Kenna."

And that is how the worst road trip began. Making a day run with a band from Philly to play somewhere south of Baltimore. The band with the coolest un-bookable name in history. What kind of bar manager is going to put SPOOGE on the their marquee?

The van left hours before us, yet there it was sitting on the right side of I-95. We were four lanes to the left doing Mach2.

Many thanks to Pauly for putting my insanely silly material out there for the world to see. Rumor has it that BoyGenius and the Poker Penguin also have stories getting published beside Pauly's regular contributions. All much better at this than me, but I am having a blast.


Some new bloggers that I haven't pimped yet...

Sloejack has been blogging for a while. He linked to a hilarious cartoon about blogging.

JackNineOffsuit started blogging this month and posts regularly. A big plus in my book.

Daniel is from Rosny sous bois, France and started his poker blog. He recently played in the 2004 WSoP.


Thanks for stopping by my abbreviated lunchtime post.

Have a good day.


Sunday, June 13, 2004

Al Can't Hang referrals 

Since Pauly started posting these, I find some very interesting referral links.

1. Someone actually googled Al Can't Hang. Check it out. Pretty cool.
2. Someone looking for HDub. Here's his real link if you want it.
3. Real mom vs mom catfights. This one hits Pauly too.
4. The always popular hijenni.com Perverts.
5. And my all time favorite. "guys watches while his girlfriend has sex with another guy for money". Not only will you find me, Scott is on the first page and Iggy is further down.


Poverty Saturday 

I think I've finally proven to myself why I play poker. Obviously it's not the money. I'm more cheesed off at losing my $25 buyin at the Party NL ring game then I am about the $650 single hand loss at the Borgata. At least at the Borgata, I made the proper play. 3 times yesterday I made horrible plays and paid for it each time.

Hand 1

AK vs 99. Flop came out A 9 x. I opened for a good size bet and the only other guy in the pot came way over the top.

Let's go see what Brunson says, shall we:

If I get some help on the flop (by catching an Ace or a King), I'd make a reasonable bet at the pot from any position....

When someone plays-back at me in the above situation... I'll either move-in or release my hand. In order for me to move-in, I'd have to put my opponent on a hand where I thought he was drawing.

There was no flush or straight. I didn't move-in or release my hand. I called his large bet and did so to the river for a huge loss. Fairly certain I was beat, I just couldn't put it down.

A hole in my game previously locked down. Apparently not permanently.

Hand 2

...or how Pauly put me on tilt.

QTs in MP. Folds around to me and I make the min raise. Folds around to Pauly in SB and he just calls. BB also calls but he won't be around long enough to talk about.

Flop - 4h Qh 8c

Pauly bets out $3. While BB is folding, Pauly writes in the chat, I got the nuts. I took a little while and just called the bet trying to figure out WTF he had. Pocket Q's or a nut flush draw with the hearts? A rag on the turn and he puts out another $3 bet and my mind is still trying to figure out what the hell he has. If had QQ he would have come over the top of my min raise. A-x hearts and I was still leading with my top.

What did I do you ask? I let the clock rundown because I couldn't wrap my mind around it and I let him take the pot.

What did HE have? QTd. It wasn't the size of the bet that made me lay it down. I let Pauly talk me out of a pot that would have been split. Not a big loss $$$-wise.

Next time, you better have the nuts, 'cause I playing back and put you to the test for all your chips. Wussy Al just left the building.

So now I'm steaming and it's only a matter of time before I catch a moderate hand and lose the rest of my buy-in. I should have gotten up and grabbed a smoke, or kick the cat, or have the wifey hit me over the head with a pan.

Instead, I just sat there waiting.

Hand 3

A5h. Flopped the top pair. Open the betting, someone came over the top, I moved-in and got outkicked exactly the way I should have.

Thank you for playing, have a nice day, remember to tip the waitresses.


Alright, enough of all that. I punished myself for my bad play last night but forcing myself to watch Terminator3. Was that movie supposed to be a comedy? And damn, if the Bud rep Lindsay doesn't look a lot like the female terminator in the movie. (Without the smile, of course)


I've uploaded some pics from Thursday's boozebest. Including pics of myself and Landow with Melissa from 'YSP. She decided to just wear a bandanna on Thursday. God lord.

I found a redhead for Jerry but couldn't get a good pic. Damn it.


Yesterday, the wifey and I signed the contract of sale on the new casa. And it won't be complete until June 2005. D'oh. That's a long time to stress over the details.

But, and very big but, I confirmed that the basement will be big enough to fit three full poker tables. Anyone ever see Boiler Room?

We'll be celebrating our new found poverty by going out for some sushi tonight.


Thanks for stopping by. I think my readership has dropped to 3. And one is my wife making sure I'm not writing anything nasty about her.

If you haven't seen this yet, go check out the Shana Hiatt outtakes. Thanks to Iggy and HDouble for pointing it out.

If off to write my second bar story for Pauly's Truckin' e-zine. Check back later for a preview. Here's a link to the first one.