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Friday, June 11, 2004

TGIF rambling 

Report: Alcohol abuse up, but fewer alcoholics

WASHINGTON (Reuters) -- More Americans are abusing alcohol than in the 1990s, but fewer are technically alcoholics, U.S. government researchers.

Technically? I guess I'll have to start going to the meetings now.

OK, maybe that's not the nicest thing to say but eff it. If it offends anyone's sensibilities, deal with it. It's my problem. The alcohol version of Keith Richards. A fine, run of the mill, functioning alcoholic.

No particular rant today. Another fine evening during the Can't Hang family boozefest. Mrs. Can't Hang even tied a nice one on last night. I'd love to show more pictures but Landow was too far gone to bother uploading them last night. Alright, I told him not to bother until today. Since when does anyone listen to my drunkass?

Speaking of drunk and Al, BoyGenius wrote a great post that you should go read now. I'll be here when you get back. He made a reference to Coltrane, Louis Armstrong, and AlCantHang.

I don't believe that those three emotions are the complete wellspring from which all genius has flowed since the dawn of man. I've listened to too much Coltrane to discount "faith." I've heard plenty of "joy" out of Louis Armstrong's horn. And I certainly have read enough Al Can't Hang to believe "drunk" can be a factor.

Damn, that's pretty cool. Obviously BG tips a few back himself if he sees any 'genius' in my pathetic excuse for ramblings. But thanks for the compliment. BG is a top-o-the-line scribe. Well worth the trip.

As I poke around the huge blogging world and it's subset of poker bloggers, I have found an incredible group of writers. Analysis, commentary, information, and humor in quantity and quality.

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Anyway, all tangents aside, thanks to DJ Steve from last night. He stayed overtime because the party wasn't breaking up. Rumor has it he was there for a long time. I wouldn't know because we bailed around 11. A small 6 hour fest after work. Didn't I write earlier that the binge/bender was over? Damn.

Things should really change starting tomorrow. Me and the Mrs. sign our contract for the new house and then wait 12 months for it to get built. Funny, I've spent my whole life avoiding this kind of responsibility. Now that I'm 'mid-life', aren't I supposed to be spending money on boats, new Harley's, and cherry red 'Vettes? At least I've managed to get around becoming a breeder. Imagine the poor grammar school teacher that would get my ADD, Ritalin overdosed, punk of a son. But God wouldn't give me a son. He'd punish me with a daughter.

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Here's the funny thing about hungover/drunk rambling and ranting. The going back and re-reading the post and having no idea what the hell you were trying to say.

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Anyone care to join us in November in St. Martin? Still one room open and you get to spend a week taking Lewey's money at the poker table. I've never been there. I hear they have casinos but I can't find any info about poker rooms. I wonder if the Dutch side of the island is anything like Amsterdam.

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Did I ever mention that my good friends Big Mike and Caucci took me to Amsterdam for my bachelor party? For a week. Y'all can have your Vegas bachelor parties.

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Kimmel show pulled for comments. Host makes fun of Detroit, later apologizes

Here's his apology:

"What I said about Pistons fans during halftime was a joke, nothing more. If I offended anyone, I'm sorry," he said. "Clearly, over the past 10 years, we in L.A. have taken a commanding lead in post-game riots. If the Lakers win, I plan to overturn my own car."

Being a philly fan, I've become accustomed to being ragged on because of my city. Three words for whoever pulled the show. GET OVER IT.

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Last night I continued my BonusWhoring and I managed to find a way to lower my EV with this scheme. I left it running and went to watch some tube. The wifey hit the pc just as it finished up the latest batch of autoplay blackjack. The bankroll had increased until she decided she wanted to play some video poker.

D'oh

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Thank god this concert isn't scheduled for when I'm down in AC for the Maxim party. It would have been a dilemma!

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Is it just me, or does anyone else think Scott should have his own syndicated TV commentary show? On cable! I'd pay for that.

Glad to see he made it through the biblical Texas flooding.

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I actually received an email from a bartender asking why she wasn't in my small, upstart, Bartender Hall of Fame. By the way, if anyone would like to submit someone for the Hall of Fame, just let me know.

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Lewey just picked up a new, stainless steel dealer button from dealerbuttons.com and I just dilemma AlCantHang card protector. Pretty friggin' cool.

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Another re-read and what a load of crap I am.

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Alright, I'll wrap up this rambling, disjointed, dump truck of a post. I apologize for wasting everyone's time. I'll buy you a shot next time you're in the area.

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Rest in Peace


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Thursday, June 10, 2004

Random sober post 

I finally received the pics from the NYC trip. Nothing really spectacular as I was hoping. But this pic cracks me up. I don't know if you can see it the first time. They are holding the one girl back (mama-tard) but you have to look at the peroxide blonde in the Mets shirt. That's the other girl involved, she's got a shitty look on her face, and she's holding this, a big clump of mamma's hair. (That is NOT me holding it up).

Also, we have a pic from Yankee Stadium when they announce Reagan's passing. Then they lowered the flag to half staff.

I made fun in my previous post about my friend Jeni breaking her foot (and not really believing it). Well, turns out it real was broken. Poor girl climbed these stairs at Yankee Stadium.

Again, nothing spectacular in the pics. If you want to see the rest, here they are.

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I thought the WPT broadcast last night was pretty entertaining. The Canadian friends were funny, the Iranian guy was just sitting there watching the craziness, Suzie homemaker had everyone cheering for her (especially when her 8's beat Gordon's 9's), and Phil Gordon was very camera friendly. I liked his table manner.

But my favorite part was Moneymaker pissing off Gordon (if only momentarily). Going over the top All-In on Gordon's big raise when he was holding AQh to Gordon's 99. I thought Phil's head was going to explode when he saw Moneymaker's cards. When another 9 hit the turn, it was priceless.

Other bloggers with better skill can explain it better, but I believe that's just a small example of professional B&M players having a tough time with internet players. What online player hasn't had someone reraise with suited paint against your pair? Happens all the time. Internet players also have the opportunity to play more hands and more tournaments that someone who only plays live.

Would any of my fellow, well-written blogger friends like to say it better?

The goofiest thing of the whole night was Van Patten and Sexton mentioning that Moneymaker had won a 'major' tournament. I know that ESPN is broadcasting the WSoP and they're the competition. But the WSoP was around before ESPN began broadcasting it so why wouldn't they mention it by name. Gutless. They were double tongue-tied because they couldn't mention that Gordon is the co-host during the Celebrity Poker Letdown (copyright McGrupp, my quarter is in the mail).

Also, in the day and age of the chest-thumping, homerun-watching, endzone-choreography, look-at-me attitude it sports, it was nice to see a gracious winner. It was a nice change from crybaby.

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While poking around on Hellmuth's website, I came across this quote in a 2004 WSoP writeup. The article is about the tournament elimination of the 'pros'.

World Champion of Poker Russ Hamilton went out about 135th or so. Russ says, "I just couldn't accumulate any chips, every move I made, they came over the top of me, and the blinds and antes just kept going up....

I wonder who they were? Damn internet players.

Another whiney quote from Hellmuth:

Here is a taste of my WSOP run in 2004 -- brace yourself for some bad beats. Day 1 I just seem to lose pot after pot and I'm down to $4,175 on the first break. I'm almost in tears as I call my parents at the break, but they pump me up, and I come out smoking after the break and get back to $10,000.

Are you kidding me? He also talks about the hand Iggy linked to earlier:

Halfway through day 1 I pick up K-K and the action is raise to $600 by the first position, then second position makes it $2,200 to go, and third position calls. I say, "You better keep those ESPN cameras rolling boys." I decide to merely call before the flop.

Now I can't stop myself:

What the heck is going on here? This guy was going to bluff me, Phil Hellmuth, on the sixth hand of the tournament?

Chucklehead.

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Is this turning into a blogfather size post?

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While I was watching the WPT last night, I took my recent gain on PartyPoker and began my classes in the Grubby CasinoWhoring101. So far, so good. As long as I don't pull a Halverson and get greedy.

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Now it's time for the pimpin'. Read them, they're much better than me.

MeanGene has a writeup about his shortstack play.

HDub has a post responding to some comments on his blog about the fishes. No offense to the chuckleheads, but if HDub calls them fish, I'm going to believe it.

Pauly and BoyGenius still have their prop bets going. All tied up a 2 each after BG hit the under on DeadHead bloggers.

Also, Pauly seems to have been hitting some big hands recently. His first Royal Flush followed up by quad Aces. Thank god I wasn't playing with him at the time.

We had an interesting table on Party the other night. StinkyPants, Iggy, Maudie, Pauly, HDouble, and MonteCristo were all on the table at some point. (Thanks to the Igg-meister for trying to loosen up the table and donating to my drinking fund). There was big fat stack sitting at the table but we couldn't get much off of him before he bailed. He was up to +$250 from the initial $25. And I wanted it.

Pauly just updated Tao of Poker. Here's the final paragraph:

Poker, sex, drugs... the only things in life that make me dizzy. Add Katie Holmes to that mix and I think you got a decent four of a kind. Maybe Katie will start reading my poker blog too.


I just saw in BoyGenius' comments that he turns 30 on June26th. I happen to know something else going on June 26th that might be worth a trip east. There's a definite possibility that there might be some moderately attractive women in attendance.

And if you can't enjoy Scott's blog, well, I'm pretty sure you have no sense of humor. Don't be embarrassed, it's been known to happen.

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For anyone wondering where I made the pics in the earlier post, I did them at letterjames.de



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Finally, good vibes and thoughts going out to Iggy and his cat Monty. Get well soon. The wifey and I went through a similar problem last year and it sucks.

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Tonight, the search for the elusive red-head continues.

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Tuesday, June 08, 2004

Some recent pics! 




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Monday, June 07, 2004

NYC Day 2...... 

.....or Ouch, that's my liver!

After the Mets game, we crashed back at the hotel. More beers but I made the decision to save everything for Saturday. I had a feeling it was going to be a long day. Mrs. CantHang was already down for the night and everyone was just rehashing the stories from the game.

I spoke with Pauly and we made plans to meet up at Yankee Stadium at 2pm, 2 hours before the game for some pre-game drinks.

After a tasty room service breakfast, we arranged the car service for the trip from Queens to the Bronx. Then everyone dropped out. Jeni Broken Foot was still feeling horrible and Becky Hangover was, huh, hungover. Me and the wifey said screw 'em and took the ride across the Triboro Bridge.

Waiting for us at Yankee Stadium was the McGrupp-ster. He took us to a bar across the street from Yankee Stadium and the boozefest was underway. We sat for a couple hours talking, trading stories, and listened as Pauly described the ghosts of Yankee Stadium. Imagine being a current Yankee player and being on the same field as Ruth, DiMaggio, Mantle, and Maris. I was excited to go and I'm not a Yankees fan. (which I kept to myself in the stadium after the Friday night mayhem).

Oh yeah, we drank some too. I was very pleased when the bartender bought us a round of drinks before the game. Another bar conquered.

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After several drinks, we decide to head into "the House that Ruth built". The Yankees were giving away visors on Saturday. Pretty nice but it wasn't an ice cube tray. (note: the Mets Ice Cube Trays are going for $15 on EBay)

After enlisting the help of a sherpa, we made our way to the tippy tippy top of the stadium behind (kinda) home plate. Actually, we were 5 rows from the top but this fat man wasn't real happy. Add SoCo to the near vertical walk plus some beer and I was dreading the "trip" back down.

Pauly pointed out some interesting things around the stadium that you just don't get when watching on television. My favorite tradition (I have no idea how long they've been doing it) was the Roll Call. When the Yankees go out to play defense in the first inning, the bleacher fans start chanting the players names during the inning until that player turns and acknowledges them. It was pretty cool and something I would have missed had it not been pointed out to me.

Midway through the game, Pauly's brother calls and tells him that Reagan died. Shortly after that, they had a moment of silence during the 7th inning. Very eerie 'hearing' that many people being silent. It was followed by a recording of Kate Smith singing God Bless America. It was then I was able to convey a little Flyer's tradition to Pauly. (There's a Kate Smith statue outside the Spectrum where the Broad Street Bullies played)

9 innings rolled right along with the Rangers beating the Yankees making some fat guy really happy. Immediately following the game, they announce they would be showing the Belmont race on the big screen as soon as it was completed. Unfortunately, we received the bad news after the race and before they showed it. And the 30 fans in left field groaning and leaving beforehand might have been a clue also.

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After the game, Becky StillHungover and Jeni on Crutches decided they were done for the day and grabbed a cab home. Pauly, Mrs. Can't Hang, and myself were just starting.

Editor's note: Things are going to get a little fuzzy. Hopefully Pauly remembers more.

We hit the bar across from the stadium again for another drink and map out our game plan. Here's what we come up with. Manhattan for dinner, then booze. Simple and to the point.

We hit the subway and were off. Thank god for Pauly. The only subway system I've ever used for any extended period of time was the Tube in London. The subway in NYC can't compare. Pauly had us moving from one place to the other like the well trained mouse in the maze and he knew exactly where to find the cheese. Eventually we popped back above ground in Manhattan and I could smell the booze.

After giving us several options, we settled on a place called Jackson Hole. Walking past the grill, I knew I was going to eat well. 7 friggin ounce Angus beef hamburgers to make Scott proud. Humungo burgers, good conversation, and yeah, more booze.

Early on, before the game, I made the claim that I was actually going to try to count how many shots I did. At least 6 doubles before the subway and then I forgot to count. Then it didn't really matter anyway.

A couple more at Jackson Hole and we moved over to the trendy bar nextdoor. You know the place, tries to be ultra-hip, playing 80's pop videos, and comes across as plastic. But what did we care, we got a table, a waitress, and a plasma screen to watch the Calgary/Tampa game.

At this point, the great McGrupp (scholar, author, poker player) joined yours truly in a double SoCo. In the haze, I kinda remember him doing another but that might just be the demons in my head.

We were rolling now. More shots for me, more beers for Pauly and the wifey. Somehow, in the fascist city that outlawed smoking, I managed to smoke an entire pack of cowboy killers. Ready to move on after the Calgary loss, we decided to head to another part of town. I'd love to tell you where (upper lower east west side).

Ehh, Pauly promised a good local/dive bar and the best 75c hotdog in the world. Gray's Papaya. I'd never heard of them and I was going for it one way or the other. It was good but nothing will ever compare to a Lucky Dog with the works in New Orleans at 4am.

I can't even remember the name of the bar he took us too. But it was one of those bars that just pulls you in. Comfy. My comment to Pauly was that if this were my local bar, I'd be the guy in the corner sitting there every night just watching.

Good music, good booze, good conversations. I'm not real sure about the conversations at this point. One of the last things I remember is talking to Pauly's brother Derek and trying to convince him to come out. At 2am, I made the move for the door, it was finally time to end the 12 hour binge. I wasn't getting any arguments from Pauly or the wife. Everyone was spent.

Just one more bit of excitement. We grabbed a cab for the ride back to the La Guardia Marriott. As we're pulling away, the cab driver informed us that he had no idea how to get to where we wanted to go. I can't see 6 inches past my nose, so the Incredible (never drove in NYC before Friday) Mrs. Can't Hang gave directions to a NY cabbie on how to get to La Guardia. Something along the lines of "Just get me to the Grand Central Parkway you friggin' tool and I'll take it from there".

Or it could have just been the booze talking.....

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Good times, good times. Many thanks to Pauly for showing me around his city. We had an absolute blast.

I always said the bender and binge will dictate when it's completed. I think it's over. Started way back in April with Key West and ends with a blowout in NYC. I'm going to take a nice breather and prepare for the Maxim Fantasy Island Party at the Borgata.

Thanks for stopping by.

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NYC Day 1. Mets game. 

Friday started off pretty odd. The standard issue hangover was nowhere to be found. Thanks to work and a desire to traverse Manhattan rush hour hangover-free, I didn't too much liquid fire Thursday night.

Pauly gave us some sound advice. If we planned to cross Manhattan to get to La Guardia, we better be through before 3pm. Since we were going to a Mets game Friday night, someone had the ingenious idea to stay at the La Guardia Marriott. Me and the Mrs. packed everything up at work and headed off at the crack of noon.

The wifey on occasion has been known to have a heavy foot. We made it from King of Prussia, PA to the Lincoln Tunnel in 90 minutes. I'm told that is quite impressive. I don't know. My eyes were shut.

We drove straight through Manhattan on 34th St. Cliffs of concrete and steel. Past the Empire State Building. Very cool. As we were entering the midtown tunnel, I made a mental note to drink that little town dry on Saturday.

We made our way to the hotel and immediately hit the bar. We were at least 45 minutes ahead of the rest of the our crew so why not a little drinky. Now is the first time it really hits me that I'm in NYC. The bartender might as well hit me over the head with the sign behind him. NO SMOKING. God this was going to be a long trip.

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After a couple drinks and meeting up with our friends, we bribed the airport shuttle driver to drop us off at Shea Stadium. It was going to be a pain in the ass during the weekend with 6 people trying to get 2 cabs.

We hit the game early enough to pawn off our two extra tickets and collect the coveted NY Mets Ice Cube Trays. EBay here I come.

The game was moving right along, nothing major. Then the 7th inning. Between the 7th inning and 9th, we didn't watch a single bit of baseball.

We had great seats, behind homeplate on the Loge Level, first row. Easy access to beer and dogs. There was a small section in front of us that seemed to be corporate boxes. In this box was a delicate young flower with bleached hair, nasty face, and huge assets err tracks o' land.... ah, you know what I mean. They were out there for the world to see.

Somewhere around the 7th inning, she gets in a heated discussion with the woman sitting behind her, directly in front of me. The woman was there with her two daughters and what I assumed was her husband. The husband was nowhere to be found. We just sat there and watched the argument grow and grow until it exploded into one of the most fierce catfights I've ever seen. Fists and hair were flying all over the place. Security pounced down on the scene and immediately escorted Little Miss Big Boobs out the door with her boyfriend.

Mother and two girls were sitting there talking to security when the father finally shows up. He missed the entire thing. (During this time, two security guards were arguing and looking like they were going to throw down also.)

Finally, they start to take the family out of the building when mom and another woman starting lipping off. Security has had enough and picks her up and moves her towards the gate. Apparently father-tard didn't like being left out of the action and starts fighting with another guy in the section. More fists but no hair this time. Security comes running back in and just starts tossing anyone out who makes eye contact. Since we were in the first row behind that section, we had security or strangers in our lap the entire time. Half the section has already been tossed out for fighting.

For a moment, the place starts to settle down. There's still a big buzz in the area but calm is being restored. Then the next moron steps up to the plate.

In all the mayhem from the fights, a 'GO METS' banner had been left behind. A fan from a different section runs over and grabs it. The place started cheering until they see he is wearing a Marlins jersey. And starts shredding the sign.

The place went completely ape shit. All kinds of crap was raining down on the kid's head. From every level. Security quickly swept him out to prevent a riot.

Note: don't be a moron. If you go into the opposing team's stadium, try not to be an ass and get yourself killed.

The last blowup involved a poor old man who happened to show up in a Marlins World Champion shirt in the psycho section. Three guys in the upper level dumped their entire beers down on his head. The security guys in the area just shook their heads and off they went.

The total count. At least a dozen people from the section below us. Another 10 or more from our section for throwing and dumping crap on the Marlin sign ripper.

And that, my friends, is my first visit to Shea Stadium. (I think the Marlins won)

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Leaving the stadium, we had some bad luck. Our drunk friend Jeni twisted her ankle walking down the stadium ramps. It didn't seem that bad a first but she was unable to walk on it.

She stumbled, limped, and finally was carried the couple blocks we were told to go in order to catch a cab back to the hotel. The cab's never appeared and it seemed our only option was a grumpy fellow willing to take us the mile and a half for $40. After Mitch told him where he could shove the $40, we decided to take him up on the offer.

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How's that for a first night in the big city. And we still had Saturday afternoon, the Yankees, and Pauly waiting.

For the record, the grand total number of shots of SoCo consumed by yours truly on Friday. Zero. Zilch. Nada. God, I really hate beer.


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Sunday, June 06, 2004

NYC preview 

I'm back and alive. A grand time was had in lovely NYC. I'll do a full writeup tomorrow because I don't have the proper pics to back up some of the stories.

But here's a quick rundown.

The Mets game resembled the 700 level at Vet Stadium in Philly in the 4th Quarter during an Eagles - Cowboys game and someone showed up in an Aikman jersey. No less the two fights (one involving girls) and a ton of ejections just in the section in front of me.

One girl probably broke her ankle leaving Shea. We're not sure because we kept drinking and figured we'd worry about it when we got home.

We got killed on a 1 mile, $40 ride back to the hotel and that was not our best option, it was our only option.

Saturday just consisted of one big 12-hour binge with a Yankee's game in the middle.

Pauly took us to a place called Jackson Hole (get it, Jack's in the hole?) for the best, biggest damn burger I've ever eaten.

More booze in a couple of boro's and the longest ride home ever.

More to come later. Go check out Pauly's site for a small writeup and check out the Royal Flush he hit today.


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