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Friday, May 21, 2004

..... but it's only 2am! 

Before I even get started, this comment was left yesterday. If anyone cares to translate...

"just to confarm if uyou sale keys for soccer pool/coupon(for this assue season).
if u you do, give me full details
Chris"


huh? Someone's been hitting my bottle of SoCo and not telling me.

~

Random thoughts on the boozefest last night.

Let me say, right off the bat, that drinking large quantities of hard liquor does something strange to your internal body functions making it difficult to perform in a corporate environment. Someone is going to hit you.

If you don't know of what I speak, go booze it up.

Last night, I was really looking forward to meeting and working with Tanya from WYSP. Man, what a festering ......... ah, nevermind. She was definitely not the most pleasant person in the world. Puddin', go look cute and sign some autographs. Let me do my job.

But I love her now. I had a bad night. Can't someone please tell her that. smooch, smooch, smooch.

DJ Steve, however, was on top of his game. He basically played out the soundtrack for the last period and overtime of the Flyer's game. He definitely had the place rocking and going nuts. Great job and see you next Thursday!

Weirdest statement overheard during the evening was made by our friend Doogie. "It's not that he played a WHAM! song, its that be played a bad WHAM! song." Wha? Get out right now!

Poor Landow has gone on the wagon. We've been on a serious binge since Key West and he thinks it's time to slow down. I tried to explain to him that the binge will dictate when it's done, you just can't force these things. I feel very strongly about this. The over/under for that to end is 4pm tomorrow. During our poker tourney. Any takers? Mike's best quote of the night, "I think Al is driving the wagon I'm on." Pass me the booze! I'm on a mission.

Completely unrelated hockey stat. Keith Primeau had 9 goals in his first 110 playoff games before this year. He has 9 goals in the playoffs this year.

The promo I run on Thursday's is a lip synch contest, nothing special. Last night we had this little troll-like girl perform to "I Touch Myself". Very disturbing. Especially for poor, sober Landow. He's still talking about. She was either a really ugly person or a really pretty monster. Copyright BigMike.

My huge apologies to Jerry in Miami. There was not one single redhead in the bar all night.

I'm 75% sure that I'm still drunk. If there were a breath-alyzer handy, I could confirm. I hate when the hangover kicks in halfway through the day.

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ugh, no can type anymore. Where's that damn Chinese food!

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News Flash! It looks like I get to meet the great and powerful Oz, err, Pauly this weekend.

Phillies game in the afternoon, poker after the game. I'm going to sick him Lewey (the most frustrating player ever). I can't wait for a real player to show up and take Lewey's money.

We may bypass the home game and go straight to the Borgata.

Who's wit me?

~

That's the end of my drunken / hungover ranting.

Chinese food is here, gotta go eat. (There's just something special about Chinese food on a hangover. Lovely.)

Go read a real blog. Hank is on his way to the WSoP. I can't wait to read his writeups. If he can survive hanging with Iggy.


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Thursday, May 20, 2004

WSoP quote 

I was reading the tournament reports from the WSoP and came across a great quote from Thomas Keller, a 23 year old from Arizona who won the $5000 NLHE tourney in his first ever attempt at the WSoP.

"The internet is a great teaching tool," Thunder said afterward, "The players there don't get enough respect."


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...and more random thoughts 

Nothing major to write about today.

Unless you want to hear about the hippy who had to do a parallel OS install to fix his piece of junk pc?

Nah, me neither.

But when I finally got it back up and my DSL connected, I felt like the happiest man on earth. I was free to browse the world again.

First thing I do (after deleting the porn spam from my inbox), hit the blogs. Starting and ending with the blogfather. Shortly after finding out that he's heading to Vegas, he pops online and I send a fine string of profanity his way. Pure jealousy. I wish I could pick up and head there right now.

Good Luck, Iggy!

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On that note, I've decided to set some serious goals for my poker playing. I never really set any goals other than to constantly improve my game. I pretty much gave up on playing limit hold'em. The grind is brutal and it doesn't fit my personality.

My goal is to improve enough to play in at least two of the NLHE tourney's next year during the WSoP.

How's that for a goal?

I have a lot of work to do. I brought this up with Hank the other day, "You could be good, if you wanted to." d'oh. Is that good or bad?

So if there are any NLHE experts out there who want a willing student, here you go. Any advice is welcome.

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Interesting email from a co-worker today. He asked if I was on PartyPoker last night. Of course I wasn't because I was bringing Lazarus back from the dead.

He informed me that there is a player on Party with a username of AlCanHang. WTF.

I won't be on Party for the next couple of days, but if someone can confirm that for me, I'd appreciate it. Tag the mofo and take all his money.

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When looking at the ESPN WSoP Broadcast schedule, it looks like they're showing the final table for each tourney. Should be pretty cool.

Maybe we'll see Felicia on TV (much to her chagrin).

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Tonight is the traditional CantHang household booze-fest. I've fulfilled requests from BoyGenius and Pauly, who's next?

~

Just to give everyone a head's up, I wrote a story for Pauly's Truckin' ezine. It's about the origin of my nickname, Al Can't Hang.

I'll let you know when it's up.

Cheers, catch you tomorrow.

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Wednesday, May 19, 2004

Random thoughts 

Before I even contemplate writing another crappy word, go read HDub's, A year in the making: the development of a poker player.

Then go read BoyGenius, Anna and the King Queen Suited.

Pure blogging goodness. Two great quality examples of the writing being done in the real poker blogs. Stellar.

Go ahead. I'll be here when you get back........

~

No more blogging from home until I fix the old piece of crap pc. Which also means no poker.

I somehow managed to find some killer spyware that broke through every type of protection loaded. It managed to avoid detection. Then someone (who shall be nameless) fragged the machine trying to hunt the little sucker down. Killing a crap load of system files in the process.

I may actually have to skip the bar tonight to fix it. Oh the Humanity!

Everything is setup for my 2 table tournament on Saturday. This one is small because my 10 table tournament was forced to postpone due to scheduling problems. I've managed to avoid playing in any of my own games and this week will be no different. Unless someone bails out on me.

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Did anyone else happen to notice that Phish tickets for August in Camden, NJ are going on sale this weekend? I understand it's a quick hop from the venue to A.C. hhhhmmmmm. I've never seen Phish before.

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From BigMike's non-poker 48 hours in Vegas this weekend. Poor guy got 'stuck' in Vegas when he got bumped Sunday night. 'Poor' is literal. Imagine being stuck in Vegas with zero in your pocket. ech.

10 Things he observed in Vegas when not playing poker:

1. "I never eat a pig 'cause a pig is a cop." (House of Pain were in town and stopped by at the Beach to sing. Pick up their Best of album Shamrocks and Something...). Don't you have to have more the one hit to put out a Greatest Hits album?
2. There is a 3 hour time difference between Vegas and Philly. Dial-a-shots from your late night are dial-a-shots to east coast breakfast tables. Imagine getting a 7am dial-a-shot call from BigMike!
3. The Fugok (our friend), like many large cloven hoofed animals, can sleep while standing upright.
4. There are over 100 kinds of Vodka in the world. DEELICIOUS!
5. Women love Boogie Knights the 70's band.
6. My brother gets motion sickness in Star Trek shuttlecraft simulators and I do not. But I get air, boat, and car sick and he does not.
7. Vegas was better when the mob ran it.
8. On average, about 1 person per day gets hit by a car on the strip. Obviously, there are no open container laws.
9. If you get in a taxi, visibly intoxicated, with a female companion, and DEMAND to be taken to a wedding chapel, the cab driver will deposit you and your lovely bride to be at the Olympic Gardens strip club where he will receive a $10 bounty. (I guess to get bridesmaids?)
10. Boxing fans are not a pleasant as you might expect. Mike experienced Mandalay Bay on Fight Night.

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Tuesday, May 18, 2004

Sean is back! 

Welcome back to the poker blogging community Mr. Anisotropy (or however the hell you spell it).

Now get to work.


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Monday, May 17, 2004

More weekend junk 

Work has been horrible, which means I spend less time at night playing or writing, which means less posts. Not that my 5 readers care. I'll just send a bottle of booze to apologize.

This morning I won a $10 SnG instead of writing and it was one of my favorite wins.

3 down and the remaining 6 players (plus myself) were super tight. Not many flops were being seen and the river was almost non-existent. I was solidly in second place and getting late for work. I decided to post and fold. When I check after work, maybe I folded into the money.

Then craziness ensued. 4 players dropped quickly. And I was in the money.

I clicked on post and fold then got ready for work. When I was ready, I looked in to see how I was doing. I was at T1500, second was T2000, and first had the rest. I got there just in enough time to get dealt A8c in BB. SB raised all-in and I called.

Sure enough, the flop came out AA8. I crippled him and he went out quickly. So what's a hippy to do? I sat down, rammed and jammed my way and kicked the crap out of the big stack to win.

It didn't hurt that I got middle pocket pairs 6 (that's SIX) times in a row to bust him out. Is that what people mean when they say they were getting hit in the head with cards?

Is that a shaddy win? Should I apologize for hitting blind/fold once I was in the money? I don't know these things. That's why I count on my faithful readers.

~

Onto some wedding highlights.


The wedding weekend started off on an ominous foot. I was nearly killed. (in the event of my untimely passing, I bequeath my blog to Pauly and Landow).

With Landow driving to the rehearsal, crossing the always busy Rt 202, a car blew the red light doing about 60. If Landow had been a little quicker leaving the light, or the jackass had been 2 seconds later, we would have been t-boned right on the passenger door. Where yours truly was sitting.

After getting through that (and checking my drawers. I was fairly certain I shat myself), we hit Chestnut Hill for the rehearsal early.

Did I mention the hangover. ehh.

Nothing eventful at the rehearsal other than the Reverend (is that what you call a female Episcopal priest? or is it priestess? maybe priestette?). It certainly seemed like this was her first wedding and things were a little disconnected.

Nothing extraordinary at the rehearsal dinner other my lack of alcohol consumption. I needed to be on my toes for the wedding.

~

Landow picked me up bright and early on Saturday morning, we need to be at the house and dressed in our monkeysuits a full 5 hours before the wedding. It was blazing hot on Saturday making the prospects of 12 hours in a tux unbearable.

So I had Landow pick up some booze on the way. He grabbed me a pony of Southern. 375ml instead of the full 750. Me, my monkeysuit, the pony, and Kevin.

That little Southern was gone before the first person walked down the aisle for the wedding. Great way to spend a wedding in an non-airconditioned church with 7 layers of clothes and 15 pounds of hair. This is me with half a fifth of Southern in me. And MonkeyBoy makes his first appearance.

Now here's the weird thing. The bride and the girls loved the monkey. Not even getting the irony that the monkey only exists because Kevin was forbidden to go to KeyWest by said girls.

Quick hit highlights from the wedding:

1. It was 500 god damned degrees in that church. Hey sister, mother, or whoever, how about hooking a brother up with some AC?

2. Reverend Sister Twister had an honest to god nervous breakdown 5 minutes before the wedding. Something about the song being played reminding her of someone. Very, very disturbing to see the person about to perform the ceremony run down the back hallway crying hysterically. It is impossible to make the shit up. She settled down and only screwed up twice as many times as the Over/Under I had set at 10.

3. If the only fan in the church blows out the Unity candle, is that a good sign?

4. The boyfriend of a bridesmaid got the best laugh from us. We heard him refuse communion because he was on the Adkins Diet.

5. Any time, ANY TIME, that I'm the most responsible guy in a wedding party, there are some serious god damn issues. Landow dropped his metal flask on the wooden pew. Echoes all around. Shawn is spending the whole time trying to get the Flyer's score on his cell phone. The church is made of stone and metal, no signal jackass! Joe and Greg are letting off the nastiest hangover air biscuits ever to be smelled. Russ is hitting the flask. The only reasonable one of the bunch.

~

More on the reception later. More craziness.

But I'm getting diarrhea of the keyboard and it's time to wrap it up.

Go read someone else now.

HDouble the extraordinare has another great poker post. Really, really, should just write a book so he can get paid for his writing. My junk is free 'cause it blows like a $2 hooker in Tijuana at the 'special' show.

BoyGenius and Pauly have stepped up their gambling to whole new levels. I think Pauly just won a bet because Tony Randall died.

And Scott at TheFatGuy.com has invited a few bloggers down to Texas for some good music and good poker.

Cheers and see you tomorrow.

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Weekend Part 1 

I have a bunch of stories to go over from the weekend so let's get right to it. I'll start off with the next stop on the World Poker Blogger Tournament held at Pacific Poker last night.

~

I felt pretty confident going into the tourney last night. My NoLimit game has been pretty solid and I was looking for a decent showing. I was pretty sure I wouldn't be in the bottom 5 like the last two tournaments. By no means did I expect to win it. I expected to improve my play, and thus my standing.

The tourney had everyone start with T800 in chips and the blinds were going to move pretty quick. Luckily for me, I found a way to double-up early.

4th hand of the tourney. The blinds are 10/20 and Coyotej in LP raises from 20 to 80. I'm holding JJ and limp in. By the way, I hate JJ because I lose it most of the time. I was worried about a high pair so I just called. Everyone else folds and I see a flop of J88. ok, breath. I figure I'm golden. If he has a bigger pair than me (insert your own joke here), I'm ahead. I wasn't thinking that he raised 4xBB with pocket 8's.

So he opens for T130. It takes me a second to think. I didn't believe he had 8's so he's probably betting pocket A, K, or Q's thinking he's ahead with under cards on the board. I re-raised over the top looking to see if he'd push all-in. He just called and a rag came out on the turn. Now he pushes his last T412 in and I call.

When a rag hits the river, I busted out the first player when his QQ are beat by my Jacks full of 8's and nothing helps him on the board. After 4 hands, I've doubled up, knocked a player out, and have the chip lead.

Very strange position for me to be in. If this were a live tourney, the whole table would have thought I stroked out. The wifey thinks I'm having a convulsion, the cat's hiding under the bed, and the neighbor closed her windows.

I sat on my chips for awhile, getting frostbite from the instantly cold cards.

Then my first and only mistake. And it was a big one.

The blinds and hands were flying by. I'll have to check Pacific's crappy game history but it felt like I folded 20 straight hands.

Blinds are 25/50. MeanGene is SB and I'm BB. Everyone folds to Gene who raises to 100. I'm holding AQo and I only call. The flop comes out AKK. Very scary. Gene checks and I open for T200. Gene just calls. Turn is a rag and Gene checks again. This is the first time it jumps into my head that he's holding a King. So I check. River is another rag and Gene puts his last 516 into the pot. I have him covered and will still have T700 if I lose.

Alarms going off, KING KING KING KING.

So I called like the dumb little fishy I am.

Do I really need to type it out?

K9 and I'm down to T700

While treading water with my micro-stack, I find out that Chris Halverson, Pauly, and Hdouble are out. I outlasted three legends of the poker blogging community. ok, I know, the structure made the whole tourney pretty much a crap shoot. But let me have this one thing.

The blinds are huge and I finally see a pocket pair, 5's. I pushed all-in and it comes around to Gene. Of course. While using his full allotment of time, he took a moment to chat and ask me if I had a big hand.

In BB, he called the extra T400+ and knocked me out with his 77.

I finished 12th out of 30 for a pretty decent showing. The one huge hand that I should have laid down really crippled me but I feel pretty good about the way I played every other hand.

I told Iggy that I offered up a bounty on my head which was a copy of Wil Wheaton's Dancing Barefoot. I guess it's good that Gene knocked me out when I was shortstacked since he's the one that made me shortstacked.

Gene, shoot me an email and I'll get that out to you.

BoyGenius finished in 3rd. With MeanGene and Otis battling heads up, we were guaranteed to have the first repeat winner.

Congrats to Otis for holding off Gene. I don't know how he did it since Gene had all my money.

I had two guys playing from my site. FatAssBob finished in 16th and Landow finished in 9th. Good job.

~

Running late so no time for wedding stories. I'll post those later.

Preview, MonkeyBoy got to meet the bride who was responsible for making us take him to KeyWest.


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Sunday, May 16, 2004

It's finally over! 

The wedding I've been dreading is over. Hopefully this is the last one I have to be in. Full writeup coming shortly.

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