Saturday, April 10, 2004

Turning Stone report 

The day at the tables did not do anything to improve my self-confidence. But it did reinforce the notion that my wife plays 100 times better than myself.

We started off the day bright and early at 8am. The tourney started at 11am with signups starting at 9am with preference going to active ring players. There was a long line at 9am for the tourney so I sat at the only table with an open seat. A weird 1/3 HE table with an outrageous $3 rake no matter the pot. I muddled around catching some hands and built up a little stack (even after my AA got cracked by a MoFo 36o calling my raises).

After a couple hours, it was time to hit the tournament. This tournament was designed for the fishes. $25 buy-in, $10 entry fee. For this you get T300 in chips with the blinds starting at 25/50 and doubling every 15 minutes. There were $5 rebuys that got you T500 in chips. After the 4th level, there was a $10 add on for T1000 in chips. This setup screamed for maniacs of which I try not to be one. The blinds are flying and you couldn't make any kind of move because you would always get at least two callers going all-in because it only cost them $5 to get T500 more. It didn't help that I was getting frostbite from the numbing affects of cold cards. Brutally cold cards. I was half tempted to go all-in with any face card.

I just couldn't change gears and get inline with the nut cases. I know I should have taken some big shots but I was getting absolutely nothing. The only two pots I raked in two hours were enough to keep me ahead of the blinds but I was dead meat after level 4.

My first pot was a classic Grubby would be proud of. I'm in the BB and amazingly everyone limps to me. I'm holding the almighty Hammer. The most beautiful Hammer flop hit the board. 7-2-7. I checked and waited for a maniac. Nothing, check all around. Then I got what I was looking for. An Ace hit the turn. I checked and two players made big raises. Hmmm, I wonder what they had. I pushed them all-in and they couldn't wait to get in the pot. Unfortunately, they were short-stacked and I didn't get paid as much as I wished. But I did get my max EV from the hand.

A couple of hands later, I pulled my last pot. QJs in LP, 3 limpers, and I made the min raise (no idea if that was the right move) with calls all around. The flop was 10 - 9 - x. Checks around to me. I took a shot at the pot with a 2x BB bet. Only MP stays in the hand.

(Disclaimer. When I read other bloggers putting players on hands, I feel stupid. I've never put a player on a hand with any accuracy)

That being said, I put this guy on a straight draw. Doesn't seem that complicated, unless he paired the rag on the flop, I'm assuming he would have opened or check/raised me. Plus, I'm on an open ended straight draw so it wasn't strictly a bluff at the pot.

Rag on the turn and it played out the same way. He checked and called my 2x BB bet. The river brought an A and now I'm a little concerned. I didn't hit my straight. He checks and I'm really thinking about checking because I'm worried about a check/raise. (moron, it's a rebuy tourney!). But I was feeling pretty confident he didn't make his straight so I pushed all in. About a 4xBB bet.

He couldn't muck his cards fast enough. I didn't find out until the break that he was holding QJ also. I lied and told him I had trips. Is that wrong? Does that make me evil.

At that point, the cards completely froze up. I was forced to go all-in with K8s UTG and the blinds would have finished me off anyway.

I finished 71st out of 150 players. Not as good as I hoped but I feel pretty good about staying that long when I was only able to pull 2 pots and one was on a bluff.


Now for the wifey. She has never, ever played in a casino before. Home games and occasionally online. She kills in the home games but not to confident when playing with strangers.

While waiting for me, her and my mother-in-law sit down at the same crazy 1/3 HE table. Mom-in-law apparently sucks at poker. $60 buy-in at a 1/3 gone in 40 minutes. Is that even possible?

The wife sits down with a bunch of neanderhal mouth breathers. She looks like a rose in a garbage heap (she is quite stunning if you ask me). She has no problem letting those sitting near her know that this is her first time at a casino poker table. I was sweating her after the tourney and the nice guy to her left is just shaking his head. She's up $40 from her $60 buy-in. I hit the buffet for breakfast (it's 2:30pm at this point). When I got back, she was still treading water, maybe down a little from the last time I saw her. NG on her left is still happy to have a girl sitting next to him, with all her teeth, and no restraining order. The guy to her right, however, did not seem to be very happy. Who knows what I missed.

Awhile later, as I'm watching the remainder of the tourney, she gets my attention because she's ready to leave. As I'm walking over, she's starts raising like a maniac. hhmmm, something big is going to happen one way or the other. She's not even being subtle. She looks at me at the rail and smiles. I made a beeline for somewhere else because I didn't want to be accused of any misconduct. I walked back over to see the showdown and watch her rake a huge pot. Some poor sap with his head in his hands.

On her last hand, Mrs. CantHang got dealt KK. Flop came out Q-Q-K. Poor sap bets and there's a raising war between the two all the way to the river. What did he have you ask? He caught a straight on the river. He was actually cocky when he showed his hand. Being as cool as she actually is, she shows her hand and calmly says, I got the boat.

NG to her left is beaming like he was Mr. Miyagi and she was Daniel-san. The guy to the right looked like he stroked out. Poor sap was looking around for a gun.

So she racked up her chips and called it a day. +160 for a couple hours of work (at the most).


Once again, as usual, she finds a way to cover my losses by taking other guys money. What a great relationship we have.

Now if she'd just stop ragging on me about!


Friday, April 09, 2004

Someone rescue me! 

I'm stuck in hillbilly hell in upstate NY. Who knew? This town is full of Italian hillbillies. I've never heard of such a thing. Have you ever seen an IROC-Z with Yosemite Sam Backoff mud flaps? Now I have. No gun rack in the back window so it's not that bad. Yet.

I'm stuck with my 4 yearold nephew asking every 5 words what I'm typing. Ugh.

I should have been sitting at the Turning Stone 3 hours ago but the wifey has gone on a bit of a shopping spree. My wallet is getting lighter and I don't even have the privledge of getting AA cracked to show for it.

So please, send someone to rescue me. Send reinforcements (I'm out of SoCo already)


Seems like I missed a fun time at Party last night according to Pauly. Check out his account of the poor guy getting the verbal tag-team smack down from Iggy and BoyGenius. Poor Tiltboy had no idea what he was getting into.


I hope to be on the tables within a couple hours. Hopefully the old fish and their money are still swimming around.


Thursday, April 08, 2004

Headin' to the sticks 

Even though I've been the perfect husband, I'm still being forced to head up to the in-laws tonight for Easter weekend. It's not the in-laws that I have a problem with. First, it's the 6 hour drive in the environmentally-unfriendly, gas-guzzling, suprisingly-uncomfortable SUV. We'll get there so late, I won't be able to hit the Turning Stone Casino tonight. And when I finally make it to the Turning Stone, it is the most god-awful situation for a poor drunk bastard.

A dry casino. I'm worried what might happen if I go up there and start winning. Does that mean I have to stop drinking when playing? Say it ain't so! Hopefully I'll take enough Social Security money off Grandpa and Grandma Hillbilly to make the trip worth it.

I have no idea what kind of games they spread at the Turning Stone but I do plan on playing in their NLHE tourney Saturday morning. I wonder if I can sneak our for the sunday super satellite, hhhmm. Mother-in-law will love that.

I may be a little lax in my posts this weekend due to the lack of real internet connection. By I should have couple good trip reports after the weekend.


Big Happy Birthday to Hank today. I'm lifting a virtual shot to you right now (the real shot comes later).

Pauly has a great writeup of his experience playing in the WPT Super Satellite on Party.

Grubby has Part II of his post up today. Fun with tourney side bets and anonymous rail activity.


That's about it today. 6 hour ride ahead of me with Super System and Pauly's "Sweet Nothing" novel for the trip.


Wednesday, April 07, 2004

He's back! 

The great and powerful Igg-meister has returned with another Guinness-fueled post.


Strange Days 

This may turn into a super-duper uber post. Iggy-style.

As a matter of fact, the story at the end is for Iggy. May the reading of it give him another chuckle.


I'm tired. My head hurts. My brain is all foggy.

And I don't have a hangover to thank for it. I had a quick drinky after my poker meeting and then home for dinner and the WPT Super Satellite. I was pumped and ready to win. Bellagio here I come.

Ah, crap. I'm not playing, I'm watching Pauly. Living my poker life vicariously through everyone else. I'm better at the rail than at the table.

Watching this tournament was like watching a 12 round heavyweight fight. Pauly kept battling from level to level. Taking some beatings. Getting off the canvas and giving 'em right back. At one point, late in the tourney, he was near the short stack for the whole field and survived some all-in's to get back over the stack average. One early memorable all-in had Pauly's Ace out kicked pre-flop and it looked like the end for our hero. Fate intervened and two pair hit the board and the pot was split.

Alas, my dream of joining the Pauly Poker Posse at the Bellagio will go unfulfilled. He was able to hang on and play his big cards to keep pace but eventually ran out of steam. Even though he didn't make the money, hopefully he'll get some comfort in beating out 300 other players without stellar cards to build his stack with. (Unlike one player who pulled AA and QQ twice in 6 hands).

I'm sure Pauly will have a nice long post-tournament post/rant later today. What really impressed me was the number of railbirds cheering him on. It seemed like every break in the action had another poker blogger wishing him luck. It was very impressive.


My favorite blog quote of the day come from Richard Brodie at Lion Tales.

"I entered the $2600 Omaha Hi/Lo event the next day but then I remembered I didn't know how to play that game and was out quickly. I flew back to Seattle to get clean laundry......"

I need a new job.


Not that anyone cares (especially Scott), but Chelsea beat Arsenal at Highbury to move on to the semi-finals of the Champions League.


I have a tentative date for my next private, live tourney. May 22nd in West Chester, PA starting at 11am. The buy-in will be $50 and I'll be finalizing the details (payouts, blinds structure, etc.) later today.

Email if you are in the Philly area and interested in playing.


Here's a post of an email I sent to a few other bloggers. I'm posting with the blessing of Mrs. CantHang. You just can't make this stuff up. Time to start writing my memoirs.

We went to my favorite bar last night as usual for the Thursday night binge. Typical of most Thursday's. Shots of SoCo and Grand Marnier (ugh) were flying all over.

I got talking to a bunch of people which is normal when I'm at my buzziest. Two girls were there for the first time. I take great pride in making people feel at home and decided to give them the tour. (After a couple of Mind Erasers). We head out to the big empty deck and I begin to explain to them how much fun occurs on the deck during the summer.

I turn around to see if they're getting my sales pitch. There they are, making out like the world's about to end. Oh, I forgot to mention that their husbands were inside. So I did what any drunk pervert would do. Enjoy the show.

That's when Rod Serling kicks in. I've never been a big hit with the ladies. I think the wifey married me because she has a vision problem and a hair fetish.

I started walking back into the bar when girlie number 1 grabs me and lays a big ol' lip lock on me. I'm completely stunned when girlie #2 grabs my junk.

Now I'm drunk at this point. But not so drunk that I have no common sense. I did what I was supposed to do. I got the eff out of Dodge.

Strange days indeed.


Thanks again for stopping by.


Tuesday, April 06, 2004

Blog quote 

My favorite blog quote of the day. Grubby talking about his new laptop.

One drawback: the mouse being cordless leaves it susceptible to being thrown at the wall in the event of a bad beat. At least with the cord, it would bounce back and dangle.

Good stuff.


WPT Super Satellite 

What kind of fellow blogger am I? I forgot to mention that Pauly is playing in the WPT Super Satellite tonight at 9pmEastern. If you're around, log on and give him support.

Oh yeah, Mrs. CantHang said if Pauly gets a seat in the big game, I can go to Vegas and be part of the Pauly Poker Posse. I'll be the ugly biker type body guard pushing the paparazzi away and making sure Paris Hilton has full access.



Every time I think I have any skill at writing these (usually when I'm drinking), I find another great post from one of our fellow bloggers.

Today's pimping is ---------> Boy Genius

"I still don’t really understand the billboards though. They all feature the head of TedNugentJesus, and are all wearing the proverbial crown of thorns. Of course, no blood."

Another great post. TedNugentJesus, Mormons, NLF draft, and 80's fasion.


More random thoughts 

So far only one entry in the "I can play better than Al" contest. If I don't get any more entries, I'm tempted to just let our cat play. Stick some catnip on the mouse and let him click away. He'll probably do better. Shoot, ShiftLeft wasn't logged in and finished in 12th. Blind / fold. Very nice.


Mrs. CantHang decided this weekend that we were going to buy a house. She looked at the write-up for a new development in our area on Friday, yesterday we put the money down and signed the papers. Oy.

I should have seen this coming. She's a touch on the spontaneous side. Black Friday in 2002, the wifey heads out for some insane Christmas shopping. As she's leaving, I ask her in my most understanding voice, "please don't go crazy".

5 hours later she calls and asks me if she can buy a Pathfinder. Not a toy Pathfinder for the nephews. She's at the fargin' Nissan dealership to "look around". The next day we pick up her shiny new toy. (and all the tree-huggers can go pound sand).

I've managed to get through my life on the fringe of responsibility. I've had two real jobs my entire life. The first one died in 1990 when the bank went bellyup and I've been at my current company ever since. 14 years for a drunkard and moving on up. The money I've made has financed a very satisfying existence consisting of lotsa travel, parties, and general merriment. (When I was 25, I made a bet with my mother that I wouldn't live to see 30. At my 30th birthday party, she actually made me pay up.)

The investment side makes a lot of sense and I'm not having any doubts. I'm just in a weird state of shock.

On a very positive note, I figure I can easily fit 3 full Hold'em tables with plenty of room for a bar in the finished basement!

Of course, my fellow bloggers can help me out. If I'm in a pot, just fold to the poor sucker being pulled into unrelenting servitude.


Enough of the whining.

Thanks to Pauly, now the whole world, and not just the poker blogging community, can see what a (fat) pig I am. He linked a picture from my Image Gallery from Mardi Gras 2003. (note: the wife was just outside the pic so everything was kosher)

By the way, I just received Pauly's second shipment. Sweet Nothing arrived yesterday. Can't wait to read it.


Good news on the local poker tournament front. I have a meeting after work with an organization asking me to run a NL Hold'em tournament for them. It's been in the works for a couple of months and I'm meeting them at the site. They say they can hold at least 10 tables of 10. Hopefully everything will get finalized tonight.


I received a strange call from the promotion director at Flanigan's Boathouse in Conshohoken last week. They've asked me to be a guest bartender on a Thursday in the next couple of months. I did this once at my regular bar, and I hated it. I'm built for comfort, not for speed.

When I just grabbed the link, I found that they have my sited linked on the bar webpage. That's how much of a regular I am.

They offered a week-long beach house rental at the Jersey shore to whoever draws the most customers. I won the last one easily but that was on my home turf. And it is only the Jersey shore. If we were talking about OCMD......

But I think I'm going to do it for one, simple, economic reason. Free booze for the night. Now we're talking.


Did anyone notice that Wil Wheaton commented on Chris Halverson's post requesting Vegas info? Pretty cool.


Wow, that was a dis-jointed rambling post.

Blogging at work = crappy posts.

Thanks again for stopping by.

Now go read a real blog.

Eeeney, meeney, miney, mo.


Monday, April 05, 2004

Poker Player Wanted! 

That's it. I give up. I'm going back to gin rummy. Penny-a-point gin rummy at that.

With all due respect to my illustrious co-bloggers, eff the long term results. I blow in the short term. Maybe a couple of years from now I'll be able to look back and think it was all worth dropping the cash for these 'lessons'. But damn, my ego is taking a kick in the ass.

So I'm going back to what I do best. Bankrolling.

So here's my new contest. Email me and tell me why I should let you play for me in the next tourney. It's easy enough to pretend to be me. Just fold alot. Play small, off-suit, dis-connectors to the river. Make dumbass comments on the rail when you're out early. Booze doesn't hurt either.

Easy $20 for anyone interested. We split the winning's 50/50. You don't make the money, it's a wash. I'll take the entries and post them for a vote.


I was cruising right along in Felicia's tourney on Planet last night. Playing solid, had the chip lead at the table for awhile. The table was very passive to begin. Lot's of steals, not many flops. I grabbed a couple and picked up some decent starting hands.

Then the poker god bitch-slapped me with QQ. I was in SB. Jason at Poker Odyssey comes in for a T600 bet. I figure it's time to catch someone being sneaky. My intent was to raise to T1200 but the goofed up controls on Planet (I probably goofed up) made it T975. Jason came back over the top and raised me all-in. I felt I had to call with my QQ's and gamble.

Of course, pocket rocket's. My pretty little queens got a couple of rockets up....... ah nevermind.

AND, I didn't even have the luxury of pulling a miracle flush because he was holding Ad Ac and I was holding Qd Qc.

AND, I was sober. d'oh

Out in 21st so I assumed my normal spot at the rail. I'm going to start my own railbird club and start charging a cover.

Like some lost prophet out in the wilderness once said. Oh the Humanity.


Grubby's back with a post. Starts off with a story about finishing 12th out of 1,745 players. Good God y'all.

Go check him out.


Hey, I think I bought a house today. Not real sure. I feel kinda stunned. Never a dull day.


Sunday, April 04, 2004

Start of baseball, must be time to tailgate 

So it's 40 degrees here in Philly with a fairly heavy driving rain. I have tickets to the Phillie's final pre-season game and they're playing at the new ball park. What to do?

Of course we woke up bright and early and started tailgating at 10am. FOR AN EXHIBITION GAME. Seriously, someone call AA.

Since the weather was so crappy, we decided to forgo the standard grill and kegger. Just a 30pack of beer and some sandwiches. By noon we figured there was no way they were going to play. Did we go home? Nah, let's go in and check out where our season ticket seats are located.

Absolutely great ball park, by the way, and our seats are great.

Unbelievably, the place was packed inside. I was happy to see quite a few bars and pubs scattered throughout the concourse. While we were walking around, we noticed a huge line and couldn't figure it out. Turns out it was the line just to get into McFadden's bar behind home plate. I love my city.

After checking out our seats, we headed back for the truck. Again, we chose to go against common sense. Hooter's here we come.

Now no offense to the Hooter's girls, but you don't exactly get the A team on a Sunday at 1pm outside of the NFL season. eesh. More beer, more laughs.

Now I'm back home just waiting for the 9pm tourney. I drank more beer today than I have the rest of the year combined. Don't know how you guys can do it. The natural inefficiencies in beer negate any possibility of catching a buzz. The volume of beer required to even get slightly tipsy is far greater than my capacity to ingest. By that time, I'm so full, I can't enjoy the warm-fuzzies.

No offense to the great and powerful Iggy.

Liquor > Beer


Had a good time hanging out and watching Hdouble pull some serious fish into the boat last night. I learned a lot just by watching and asking questions. He was on some pretty solid tables at 8pm Eastern on a Saturday.

Thanks for answering my questions, Hank! Good luck with the bankroll goal.


Hopefully I'll see everyone on Planet at 9pmEastern. My goal is to make amends after my last showing.