Thursday, May 22, 2008
Poker to Recover
It was weird trying to explain to those people around me yesterday why some stupid soccer game played on the other side of the world had me in such a fit. The nosy old broad sitting next to me asked "How much did you lose?" after which I mentally punched her right in her holy of holies. How to explain to them that the team I've been supporting since I was small non-hippy looking sober child had just lost their best shot at the big prize at the hands of the Evil Red Douchebags?Ronaldo heads ManUre on top (horrible defending), do a shot. Super Frankie Lampard brings us even, do a shot. Lampard and Drogba both find woodwork, shots squared. Tevez acts like a festering pussy then a Drogba red card, fuck just give me the damned bottle. Poor Garth, my fellow Chelsea supporter was unable to watch the match and my updates were coming much quicker than the Gamecast. Updating him during the shootout was heaven and hell. After Terry slipped up on his attempt I was bobbing for olives in a vat of Soco before it was over. I haven't dropped that many F-bombs since Tom
My cell phone started chirping like crazy and IM windows popped up out of nowhere. I think everyone was curious to see how a Philly sports fan was handling the aftermath of watching another one of his teams choke on the pipe. I was handling it quite well thank you very much Mr. Bartender.
Looks like I picked the wrong month to stop sniffing glue.
~
Time is running out on Battle of the Blogger Tournaments with only 5 more events after this evenings Riverchasers game. I'm sure these next two weeks will have a few posts about the length and size of this challenge and I can't wait for everyone's perspective. I've already been getting a good amount of feedback from all corners and I'll write up my thoughts as we finish up this last stretch.
I've decided to not run the last Riverchaser game of the challenge as Heads Up. Too crazy for the last small buyin tourney and there might be so many players that it would run well into Friday morning. I think we'll finish off with some PLO8 for a good time.
It's also time to start hitting up the Tier II token sats for Miami Don's Blogger Big Game on June 1st. That will be the final event of BBT3 and I expect a good amount of money to be on the line. The first Big Game of this challenge saw the biggest single blogger prize pool of over $7,000 and the defending champion is Big Mike.
Overall Leaderboard
March Results
April Results
May Results
Tournament of Champions List
Cheers
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
FUCK ME
I take complete responsibility for the Chelsea loss. My carryover sports jinx kicked in just as John Terry stepped up.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Meat Sweats Again
The image on the right should give you just a little clue about how far behind I am on all things blogging world. How the hell am I supposed to catch up on 600+ posts? I have no clue whether I'm missing any crazy blogger drama or even if Waffles is off his meds again. I've heads down working during the day and BBT number crunching almost every night. No time to read, barely any time to write, just enough time to take years off my life with anti-social behavior.I was able to take some personal time this weekend and head into center city for some fun times with friends. BoyGenius drove down from shittown to meet up with Kat (complete with Canadian contraband), Maudie and Gracie (sans sweet sweet Pablo). It wasn't the greatest weather this weekend but we managed some quality time at an old pub swilling drinks and making random dial-a-shot calls. That was followed up with a virtual meat orgy at Fogo de Chau's palace of animal flesh.
I'm looking forward to hearing the thoughts of the 4 rookies to their Brazilian steakhouse experience. Gracie the Vegetarian ate her year's worth of beef and lamb, Kat kept making sounds like Meg Ryan during the diner scene in When Harry Met Sally, Maudie
They were introduced to the terms meat orgy, meat coma, meat hangover but I neglected to mention the meat-induced nightmares some people experience. Rumor has it that Kat had a doozy. I look forward to the pictures they snapped. During pre-game boozing the cameras were flying around but they were lost amid the chaos of 15 cuts of meat during the meal.
Thanks go out to my friends who came in from throughout the country to check out the city and feast with us Saturday evening. I hope they got over the meat sweats before hitting the tables in AC on Sunday.
~
I popped in last night to check out some of the action during the Head's Up tourney setup by Loretta8. It started off with 40 players so there were a bunch of people getting a bye in the first round while the others played to get it down to a bracket-happy 32. That's where myself and others noted the odd part of the chip counts not resetting. People getting a bye in the first round were most likely going to find themselves up against a chip disadvantage at the start of play.
Knowing full well there were going to be posts about it in the morning I shot off an email to a few people at FTP to get answers about why it worked that way. Thought maybe it was a glitch since they just recently introduced the HU MTT's. It turns out that you have the option of having the chip stacks reset or have it run as it did last night.
We actually have two ways of handling byes in heads up MTT's, one where the chips carry forward and one where every round starts with equal stacks.... it is up to whoever is hosting the tournament to choose one method or the other.He also pointed to a long ass forum thread about the subject but I can't be bothered to read it. Forum posters make bloggers look like Nobel Laureates.
I never even considered entering the game last night. Head's up tournaments are by far my least favorite poker variation unless I'm playing Riggstad, then HU SnG's are like hitting the ATM without the withdraw fees. My current list of games by popular choice:
- Full ring cash Omaha/8
- Full ring cash Razz
- ANY cash table with the World's Worst Poker Player
- Full ring cash NLHE
- 9-handed MTT's
- (IRS audit)
- (voluntary sobriety)
- (listening to anything Waffles has to say)
- (death)
- 6-max MTT's
- Head's Up MTT's
Since next week is the last Riverchasers game of the Battle of the Blogger Tournament challenge and it's the non-NLHE part of the schedule, maybe I'll throw a good old Head's Up MTT for your enjoyment. What say you, people of the BBT, is that a good or horrid idea?
That also means there are only 9 more events for you to get yourself into the Tournament of Champions. Things are getting tight and I expect the fields to grow even bigger for the final shots at the WSoP seats. And may I suggest that you do not miss the Skillz game tomorrow night because it is the most wonderful poker game ever. No Limit Omaha Hi/Lo. God's little gift to 4 card bindo, pure sickness when Waffles does the all-in move with A2xx.
Tournament: MATH
Where/when: Full Tilt Poker, Monday 22:00ET
Game: NLHE 6-Max
Buyin: $24+2 or Tier I token
Password: hammer
Tournament: The BoDonkey
Where/when: BoDog Poker, Tuesday 21:05ET
Game: NLHE
Buyin: $10+1 (with T$ overlays)
Password: bodogblogger
Tournament: The Mookie
Where/when: Full Tilt, Wednesday 22:00et
Game: Deepstack NLHE
Buyin: $10+1
Password: vegas1
Tournament: Riverchasers Online Tour
Where/when: Full Tilt, Thursday 21:00ET
Game: Bi-weely rotation of NLHE and non-HE games
Buyin: $10+1
Password: riverchasers
Saturday, May 17, 2008
BBT Writing contest (better) explained
I'm really looking forward to the day when I can get back to my old self. Porn, booze and poker are the breakfast of champions while I'm stuck with the Swimsuit Edition, tap water and tiddly winks. That changes a little this weekend when some lovely ladies come winging their way into town. We will show them a good time in town and fill the vegetarian full of god's tasty critters.
Unfortunately I was too busy the other day to fully explain the BBT Writing Contest more completely. It seems Hoy received a couple of really nice comments about it.
This "write-in prize" is a fun way for a blogger to experience the Main Event in a special way. They are not expecting the crushing hours of running around like a crazy mad-person the way of Dr. Pauly, the pokernews crew or any of the major reporters. All that is expected from the winner is one post a day and a followup trip report. That is why I put the quotation marks around the "pro" blogger. It's simple enough for a free trip to Vegas and a little throwing around money. If that isn't enough then there's a really easy way to not win the contest.
My apologies to the pro bloggers (the non-quotation mark types) who thought the prize was an insult. I thought this would be a really cool way to give someone a unique experience during the Series. Maybe you too can find a single player to babysit the entire event and report their every move.
~
As the latest incarnation of the BBT series winds down we're going to start seeing more posts up about the crunch of this one. I mentioned at the beginning that it would be a bankroll buster and marriage bender. The turnouts have been larger than I ever imagined and remained extremely consistent throughout. Thanks to everyone for supporting the regular blogger games and this silly challenge we came up with over a couple largish cocktails at the Borgata.
But all good things must come to an end. I mentioned to a few privately before we started and publicly on Buddy Dank Radio a few weeks ago that I don't think we'll be seeing another BBT challenge for a very long time. I'm sure to come up with some other ideas throughout the year to add a little interesting twist to the blogger games but these huge 3 month grinds won't be back in the foreseeable future. When I was presented with the opportunity for a bunch of WSoP seats it was just impossible to turn down.
I'm sure I'll have more to say when everything is in the books. Until then, good luck to everyone in the remaining games, enjoy the company of your fellow bloggers/readers and remember to have fun.
Cheers
Tournament: MATH
Where/when: Full Tilt Poker, Monday 22:00ET
Game: NLHE 6-Max
Buyin: $24+2 or Tier I token
Password: hammer
Tournament: The BoDonkey
Where/when: BoDog Poker, Tuesday 21:05ET
Game: NLHE
Buyin: $10+1 (with T$ overlays)
Password: bodogblogger
Tournament: Blogger Skills Series
Where/when: Full Tilt, Tuesday 21:30ET
Game: Rotation between non-NLHE games
Buyin: $12+1
Password: skillz
Tournament: The Mookie
Where/when: Full Tilt, Wednesday 22:00et
Game: Deepstack NLHE
Buyin: $10+1
Password: vegas1
Tournament: Riverchasers Online Tour
Where/when: Full Tilt, Thursday 21:00ET
Game: Bi-weely rotation of NLHE and non-HE games
Buyin: $10+1
Password: riverchasers
|
Unfortunately I was too busy the other day to fully explain the BBT Writing Contest more completely. It seems Hoy received a couple of really nice comments about it.
This "write-in prize" is a fun way for a blogger to experience the Main Event in a special way. They are not expecting the crushing hours of running around like a crazy mad-person the way of Dr. Pauly, the pokernews crew or any of the major reporters. All that is expected from the winner is one post a day and a followup trip report. That is why I put the quotation marks around the "pro" blogger. It's simple enough for a free trip to Vegas and a little throwing around money. If that isn't enough then there's a really easy way to not win the contest.
My apologies to the pro bloggers (the non-quotation mark types) who thought the prize was an insult. I thought this would be a really cool way to give someone a unique experience during the Series. Maybe you too can find a single player to babysit the entire event and report their every move.
~
As the latest incarnation of the BBT series winds down we're going to start seeing more posts up about the crunch of this one. I mentioned at the beginning that it would be a bankroll buster and marriage bender. The turnouts have been larger than I ever imagined and remained extremely consistent throughout. Thanks to everyone for supporting the regular blogger games and this silly challenge we came up with over a couple largish cocktails at the Borgata.
But all good things must come to an end. I mentioned to a few privately before we started and publicly on Buddy Dank Radio a few weeks ago that I don't think we'll be seeing another BBT challenge for a very long time. I'm sure to come up with some other ideas throughout the year to add a little interesting twist to the blogger games but these huge 3 month grinds won't be back in the foreseeable future. When I was presented with the opportunity for a bunch of WSoP seats it was just impossible to turn down.
I'm sure I'll have more to say when everything is in the books. Until then, good luck to everyone in the remaining games, enjoy the company of your fellow bloggers/readers and remember to have fun.
Cheers
Tournament: MATH
Where/when: Full Tilt Poker, Monday 22:00ET
Game: NLHE 6-Max
Buyin: $24+2 or Tier I token
Password: hammer
Tournament: The BoDonkey
Where/when: BoDog Poker, Tuesday 21:05ET
Game: NLHE
Buyin: $10+1 (with T$ overlays)
Password: bodogblogger
Tournament: Blogger Skills Series
Where/when: Full Tilt, Tuesday 21:30ET
Game: Rotation between non-NLHE games
Buyin: $12+1
Password: skillz
Tournament: The Mookie
Where/when: Full Tilt, Wednesday 22:00et
Game: Deepstack NLHE
Buyin: $10+1
Password: vegas1
Tournament: Riverchasers Online Tour
Where/when: Full Tilt, Thursday 21:00ET
Game: Bi-weely rotation of NLHE and non-HE games
Buyin: $10+1
Password: riverchasers
Thursday, May 15, 2008
BBT3 writing contest
I'd love to continue the discussion about those two skating pussbags but I'm too busy and a valid debate with The Biggest Homer Ever is impossible. Things are moving and shaking so much I feel like I chugged a case of Red Bull on an empty stomach.
The BBT is starting to wind down and Full Tilt announced their writing contest. For the BBT2, winners were entered into the TOC with a chance at Australia. This time around it's a writing prize for a writing contest. Click the link for specific details but here are the nuts and bolts. If you win the contest you will become a "pro" blogger for Full Tilt Poker during the Main Event:
- Round-trip airfare to Las Vegas
- Accommodation for July 9th to the 16th
- $1,000 cash spending money
There you have it. Free trip to Vegas with a little money in your pocket.
Tonight's Riverchaser game is Limit Omaha/8 and Stud/8. Don't ask me why I picked it, I closed my eyes and picked a mixed table. That's what I came up with. What I really can't wait for is next Tuesday with the Skillz game. No frackin' Limit Omaha Hi/Lo. That is true sickness.
Cheers
Tournament: Riverchasers Online Tour
when: Thursday, 21:00ET
Game: Deepstack Limit Omaha/8 Stud/8
Buyin: $10+1
Password: riverchasers
|
The BBT is starting to wind down and Full Tilt announced their writing contest. For the BBT2, winners were entered into the TOC with a chance at Australia. This time around it's a writing prize for a writing contest. Click the link for specific details but here are the nuts and bolts. If you win the contest you will become a "pro" blogger for Full Tilt Poker during the Main Event:
- Round-trip airfare to Las Vegas
- Accommodation for July 9th to the 16th
- $1,000 cash spending money
There you have it. Free trip to Vegas with a little money in your pocket.
Tonight's Riverchaser game is Limit Omaha/8 and Stud/8. Don't ask me why I picked it, I closed my eyes and picked a mixed table. That's what I came up with. What I really can't wait for is next Tuesday with the Skillz game. No frackin' Limit Omaha Hi/Lo. That is true sickness.
Cheers
Tournament: Riverchasers Online Tour
when: Thursday, 21:00ET
Game: Deepstack Limit Omaha/8 Stud/8
Buyin: $10+1
Password: riverchasers
Monday, May 12, 2008
Dive!
Alexander Ovechkin or Sidney Crosby?
I haven't really watched very much hockey since they went on their ridiculous strike several years ago but I follow sports enough to know what's going on. I've seen the Flyers play against the two hot young stars of the NHL. First Ovechkin and now Crosby. I feel I've seen enough games to come to one conclusion.
What a couple of pussified girly-ass diving fuckers. Christ, Crosby can't even grow a proper playoff beard. He looks like the goofy kid in high school trying to grow his first 'stache. And the pretty diving that makes them look like soccer players on ice. One little touch and it they go down like they were shot by a sniper. They spend as much time flopping around the ice as they do their little goal celebrations. I suppose it's a good thing that Crosby plays in a town that features Steely McBeam.
If this is the future of the NHL then I'm certainly not missing anything but not following the league.
~
My internal built in censor kicked in again last week. External auditors I have in my friends also stopped me from posting last week something I wrote during my horrible month of April. I thought it was pretty damned funny or about as funny as anything I've written since the beginning of the dark days. When I voluntarily shut myself down from posting something it's tougher to come back with anything other than what I had in mind that very moment.
Thank god for ADD.
Any surprise that the title of this article alone from the BBC Science section was listed as the number one viewed last week? "Great tits cope well with warming".
~
The Battle of the Blogger Tournaments 3 is in the final stretch with just a few weeks left to earn your seat in the Tournament of Champions for one of the big WSoP packages. The ToC field is looking pretty solid and I'm working to get another great structure. Also, the BBT3 $2k seat freeroll is up and there were 117 players who posted the FTP badge and were automatically entered. Be sure to check the game. Sunday June 8th 17:00 ET.
I sure hope everyone going to Vegas that weekend has fun playing from their room. Unfortunate timing but the TOC and freeroll were on the books long ago and I can't change them at this stage of the game.
See everyone at the tables this week.
Overall Leaderboard
March Results
April Results
May Results
Tournament: MATH
Where/when: Full Tilt Poker, Monday 22:00ET
Game: NLHE 6-Max
Buyin: $24+2 or Tier I token
Password: hammer
Tournament: The BoDonkey
Where/when: BoDog Poker, Tuesday 21:05ET
Game: NLHE
Buyin: $10+1 (with T$ overlays)
Password: bodogblogger
Tournament: Blogger Skills Series
Where/when: Full Tilt, Tuesday 21:30ET
Game: Rotation between non-NLHE games
Buyin: $12+1
Password: skillz
Tournament: The Mookie
Where/when: Full Tilt, Wednesday 22:00et
Game: Deepstack NLHE
Buyin: $10+1
Password: vegas1
Tournament: Riverchasers Online Tour
Where/when: Full Tilt, Thursday 21:00ET
Game: Bi-weely rotation of NLHE and non-HE games
Buyin: $10+1
Password: riverchasers
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
Weekend of crazies
It's bizarre that the stories I've been writing in my spare time that I can't post here yet are much more interesting than the rubbish I'm putting up. The good stuff gets written in a rage off the top of my head with the iPod screaming (my current favorite album is Linkin' Park Minutes to Midnight. Pick it up). Maybe it's time for the super secret hidden blog wonder to vent my spleen. Early on Dr. Pauly was gracious enough to offer up a spot for a guest post and I still might take him up on the offer. It's about time I start posting the enormous stash of girlie shots I collected during my time off. Maybe that will be the new secret blog.
The busy weekend ended on a good note as we ran the charity poker game at the pub and raised some money for a great cause. A couple troopers from NYC made the trek to join the lemurs (if someone has a URL for Ross pass it along). I think I got the better end of the deal from Mary. She brought down a case of bacon from her monthly collection and she got a case of beer from the tournament in return. Bacon > Beer.
The tournament ran well other than a few problems with a lower than expected participation. I can sum the tournament up quickly. Charity game, rebuy tourney, Lewey was drinking shots of Patron like they were water. Yes, the charity made a pretty penny that day. I sat back to watch the craziness andget loaded off my ass casually guzzle gallons of water and Red Bull.
We had LivePokerRadio.com pumping through the house sound system for out entertainment during the game. That was great until I heard them start talking about me and the charity game. Before you knew it there were 4 screeching harpies screaming through a tiny microphone to the poor listeners. They were also positioned in such a way that I couldn't rip the cord from the laptop. I apologize to anyone who was listening at that point. I'm a sucker for hot girls. Hopefully my second stint on the radio went over much better.
Thanks to everyone who's donated so far. Can't tell you how much I appreciate it.
~
Saturday had us attending a wedding that was set up to be nothing but a monster drunken mess. Didn't disappoint. The idiotic open bar rules prevented the guests from getting shots but that didn't stop 75% of them from hitting the sports bar one floor down. Huge shots and the Flyers game kept them coming back. I felt a little guilty for bailing on the reception until one trip we found the bride herself poneyed up to the bar doing shots and pissing on about the Flyers.
The night degraded even further when the reception shutdown and two wedding parties descended on the tiny bar. Nothing like this Pittsburgh mess broke out but there was a certain member of the crew who was drinking top shelf vodka by the pint glass. There may even be video evidence of him singing a duet of Summer Nights at the karaoke machine.
I only survived thanks to my incredible self control and constant trips to the smoking area. Thank god no more weddings for the rest of the year. It may take the state of Pennsylvania all summer to stock back up on booze before the Bash in September.
~
I haven't done enough pimping of the great job the BDR guys have been doing with the Borgata Deepstack tournament this weekend. Huge logistical nightmare but they worked the kinks out and I listened the entire weekend. Listen up and help spread the word.
See everyone at the Skillz game tonight. I'm back in the mix looking to earn my TOC seat with just a month to go. Razz rulz.
Tournament: Blogger Skills Series
Where/when: Full Tilt, Tuesday 21:30ET
Game: Rotation between non-NLHE games
Buyin: $12+1
Password: skillz
|
The busy weekend ended on a good note as we ran the charity poker game at the pub and raised some money for a great cause. A couple troopers from NYC made the trek to join the lemurs (if someone has a URL for Ross pass it along). I think I got the better end of the deal from Mary. She brought down a case of bacon from her monthly collection and she got a case of beer from the tournament in return. Bacon > Beer.
The tournament ran well other than a few problems with a lower than expected participation. I can sum the tournament up quickly. Charity game, rebuy tourney, Lewey was drinking shots of Patron like they were water. Yes, the charity made a pretty penny that day. I sat back to watch the craziness and
We had LivePokerRadio.com pumping through the house sound system for out entertainment during the game. That was great until I heard them start talking about me and the charity game. Before you knew it there were 4 screeching harpies screaming through a tiny microphone to the poor listeners. They were also positioned in such a way that I couldn't rip the cord from the laptop. I apologize to anyone who was listening at that point. I'm a sucker for hot girls. Hopefully my second stint on the radio went over much better.
Thanks to everyone who's donated so far. Can't tell you how much I appreciate it.
~
Saturday had us attending a wedding that was set up to be nothing but a monster drunken mess. Didn't disappoint. The idiotic open bar rules prevented the guests from getting shots but that didn't stop 75% of them from hitting the sports bar one floor down. Huge shots and the Flyers game kept them coming back. I felt a little guilty for bailing on the reception until one trip we found the bride herself poneyed up to the bar doing shots and pissing on about the Flyers.
The night degraded even further when the reception shutdown and two wedding parties descended on the tiny bar. Nothing like this Pittsburgh mess broke out but there was a certain member of the crew who was drinking top shelf vodka by the pint glass. There may even be video evidence of him singing a duet of Summer Nights at the karaoke machine.
I only survived thanks to my incredible self control and constant trips to the smoking area. Thank god no more weddings for the rest of the year. It may take the state of Pennsylvania all summer to stock back up on booze before the Bash in September.
~
I haven't done enough pimping of the great job the BDR guys have been doing with the Borgata Deepstack tournament this weekend. Huge logistical nightmare but they worked the kinks out and I listened the entire weekend. Listen up and help spread the word.
See everyone at the Skillz game tonight. I'm back in the mix looking to earn my TOC seat with just a month to go. Razz rulz.
Tournament: Blogger Skills Series
Where/when: Full Tilt, Tuesday 21:30ET
Game: Rotation between non-NLHE games
Buyin: $12+1
Password: skillz
Monday, May 05, 2008
Cinco de Mayo memories
Posting has become a lot rougher than I anticpated. There's that odd feeling of having someone look over my shoulder even if I'm not doing anything wrong. Does sobriety cause paranoia? Last was tight while I made plans for the charity game on Sunday and prepared for a wedding on Saturday. Long days and long nights with no end in sight plowing forward towards my goals.
Today I celebrate the day where my damned nickname became a permanent part of my existence. AlCantHang Day for the old timers is a replacement for Cinco de Mayo around these parts. The entire story is posted around somewhere and it even made an edition of Truckin' way back in the early days when I might have had a little talent with words. The short and simple version begins in a new club on the Delaware River. A friend's band was doing there best to pack the new place and brought many old faces I hadn't seen in awhile. One of those was FatAss Bob, the only other knucklehead who took a twisted pleasure in drinking Soco neat.
Several hours later they found me passed out in not-yet-open-to-the-public restroom. Apparently I was a horrific mess, those details I will spare you. It probably wasn't good for the new business to have a drunk hippy carted off by the EMT's, no doubt I would have been spewing profanties. You'd have to ask someone who actually remembers the evening.
I eventually sobered enough to reassure the motley group of friends, band members, family and barely dressed band skanks that I would indeed survive with the worst 7 day hangover in history. Thank god for them or I wouldn't have witnesses when the doctor came in to deliver his verdict.
"We have your blood tests back Mr. (now)CantHang. Your blood alcohol level was 0.46, your friends should be visiting you in the morgue instead of the emergency room."
Apparently that's a very bad number and very few survive when they get that bad. They tell me that EMT's thought I was dead already in the restroom. The doctor then spent many minutes of lecturing while my friends in the room, most likely bagged off their gourds themselves, tried to contain their laughter. 24 hours in the hospital constantly being pumped full of fluids kept the massive hangover to barely a week although the damage to my internal systems was bad enough to keep me off the sauce for a good six months.
So how will I spend the anniversary of my biggest worst hardest binge ever? Curled up in the fetal position hugging desperately to a big meatball parm sandwich and the ragged leftovers of Hope.
(or whoever else the escort agency sends over)
Cheers my friends, lift one for me this evening.
|
Today I celebrate the day where my damned nickname became a permanent part of my existence. AlCantHang Day for the old timers is a replacement for Cinco de Mayo around these parts. The entire story is posted around somewhere and it even made an edition of Truckin' way back in the early days when I might have had a little talent with words. The short and simple version begins in a new club on the Delaware River. A friend's band was doing there best to pack the new place and brought many old faces I hadn't seen in awhile. One of those was FatAss Bob, the only other knucklehead who took a twisted pleasure in drinking Soco neat.
Several hours later they found me passed out in not-yet-open-to-the-public restroom. Apparently I was a horrific mess, those details I will spare you. It probably wasn't good for the new business to have a drunk hippy carted off by the EMT's, no doubt I would have been spewing profanties. You'd have to ask someone who actually remembers the evening.
I eventually sobered enough to reassure the motley group of friends, band members, family and barely dressed band skanks that I would indeed survive with the worst 7 day hangover in history. Thank god for them or I wouldn't have witnesses when the doctor came in to deliver his verdict.
"We have your blood tests back Mr. (now)CantHang. Your blood alcohol level was 0.46, your friends should be visiting you in the morgue instead of the emergency room."
Apparently that's a very bad number and very few survive when they get that bad. They tell me that EMT's thought I was dead already in the restroom. The doctor then spent many minutes of lecturing while my friends in the room, most likely bagged off their gourds themselves, tried to contain their laughter. 24 hours in the hospital constantly being pumped full of fluids kept the massive hangover to barely a week although the damage to my internal systems was bad enough to keep me off the sauce for a good six months.
So how will I spend the anniversary of my biggest worst hardest binge ever? Curled up in the fetal position hugging desperately to a big meatball parm sandwich and the ragged leftovers of Hope.
(or whoever else the escort agency sends over)
Cheers my friends, lift one for me this evening.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Open For Business
And we're back.
This comeback post is being written absolutely against the wishes of counsel. And that's not legal counsel, that's my favorite chuckleheads who ride shotgun on the barstools next to me while I duck every possible excuse to spend any time at home. They'd prefer I keep my big yap shut and my head low. You know I wasn't going to keep quiet for very long. I'd like to welcome a few new readers out there. Sit back, enjoy and feel free to click on my sponsors over there on the right to help pay my immense therapy bills.
The following is 100% pure fiction.
To say my last few weeks have been interesting would be a drastic understatement. Unfortunately the true Hollywood story will never reach the wires unless it's in my obituary or I hit the powerball (hell, I've got to have better odds at winning the lottery than Waffles winning a tourney and see what happened to him). I've spent the last month dealing with a half dozen situations mostly of my making, all beyond my control and none of them very pretty.
It was more of a hibernating than hiatus. I haven't read many sites and I really have no idea what's going on with inviso land other than my daily collecting of blogger game summaries and the occasional hit to CNN.com. I've subsisted on a steady diet of Red Bull, nicotine, chocolate and the odd pork rind (how is it that I've 40 years of live without once tasting these fried pieces of greatness?) which oddly enough has my huge fat ass down to human size. I've been watching the parade of lunatics through sober eyes and that really made want to get back to my only creative outlet. I'll never be consider a proper writer but some stories just need to be told.
On the other hand, there is probably a large chunk of people out there who were happy to see me go. Exactly how many drunken stories about loose women and degenerate gamblers are readers forced to endure?
I've had some pretty damned low moments over the last 4 weeks but also some decent moments. I power through the bad times and revel in the good ones with a fine collection of friends and good clean living. I've spent very little time online and even less playing poker. It's been rough sitting back watching all the juicy games go around and not getting my piece of the action. That will be remedied shortly.
Thanks to everyone who sent emails and called to make sure I was still kicking (except for the person who anonymously sent the number for the suicide hotline, that was a little cold). I'm still here and I'm getting back into the mix, not sure about the frequency or quality but you're stuck with me.
~
The BBT3 rolled along quite nicely without me. I haven't read any of the tournament summaries but I did see the disturbing fact that Waffles is probably going to win a $2k seat for the month of April and I'm dismayed. Do none of the players in these events have any dignity? It's Waffles for christsake! The worst poker player on the planet.
And who the heck is wormmsu? He/she only played two tournaments during April and won them both. Must be another Lucko ringer.
It will probably be another week before I'm ready to hop back into the games because just about every night this week will be spent finishing up the planning for the charity poker game this weekend. For that game, everyone who can make it to my tiny 'burg is welcome to join us. I already know that a certain bacon-bikini-clad temptress will be making the trek down from NYC to throw some cards and cook up some bacon. It will be my first chance to taste something for them Bacon of the Month Club.
Where: Tyler James Pub. 212 Bridge St, Phoenixville PA 19460
When: Sunday May 4th. Registration starts at 2pm, tournament around 3pm
Game: Deepstack NLHE with rebuy/addon
Buyin: $30 buyin / $30 rebuys / $30 addon
Prizes: email for details
Tournament: MATH
Where/when: Full Tilt Poker, Monday 22:00ET
Game: NLHE 6-Max
Buyin: $24+2 or Tier I token
Password: hammer
Tournament: Blogger Skills Series
Where/when: Full Tilt, Tuesday 21:30ET
Game: Rotation between non-NLHE games
Buyin: $12+1
Password: skillz
Tournament: The Mookie
Where/when: Full Tilt, Wednesday 22:00et
Game: Deepstack NLHE
Buyin: $10+1
Password: vegas1
Tournament: Riverchasers Online Tour
Where/when: Full Tilt, Thursday 21:00ET
Game: Bi-weely rotation of NLHE and non-HE games
Buyin: $10+1
Password: riverchasers
Be sure to check out Buddy Dank radio at the Borgata, a nice little adventure for the boys and I can't wait to see what great new things they're up to. Of course they will still be broadcasting live during the blogger games as well.
|
This comeback post is being written absolutely against the wishes of counsel. And that's not legal counsel, that's my favorite chuckleheads who ride shotgun on the barstools next to me while I duck every possible excuse to spend any time at home. They'd prefer I keep my big yap shut and my head low. You know I wasn't going to keep quiet for very long. I'd like to welcome a few new readers out there. Sit back, enjoy and feel free to click on my sponsors over there on the right to help pay my immense therapy bills.
The following is 100% pure fiction.
To say my last few weeks have been interesting would be a drastic understatement. Unfortunately the true Hollywood story will never reach the wires unless it's in my obituary or I hit the powerball (hell, I've got to have better odds at winning the lottery than Waffles winning a tourney and see what happened to him). I've spent the last month dealing with a half dozen situations mostly of my making, all beyond my control and none of them very pretty.
It was more of a hibernating than hiatus. I haven't read many sites and I really have no idea what's going on with inviso land other than my daily collecting of blogger game summaries and the occasional hit to CNN.com. I've subsisted on a steady diet of Red Bull, nicotine, chocolate and the odd pork rind (how is it that I've 40 years of live without once tasting these fried pieces of greatness?) which oddly enough has my huge fat ass down to human size. I've been watching the parade of lunatics through sober eyes and that really made want to get back to my only creative outlet. I'll never be consider a proper writer but some stories just need to be told.
On the other hand, there is probably a large chunk of people out there who were happy to see me go. Exactly how many drunken stories about loose women and degenerate gamblers are readers forced to endure?
I've had some pretty damned low moments over the last 4 weeks but also some decent moments. I power through the bad times and revel in the good ones with a fine collection of friends and good clean living. I've spent very little time online and even less playing poker. It's been rough sitting back watching all the juicy games go around and not getting my piece of the action. That will be remedied shortly.
Thanks to everyone who sent emails and called to make sure I was still kicking (except for the person who anonymously sent the number for the suicide hotline, that was a little cold). I'm still here and I'm getting back into the mix, not sure about the frequency or quality but you're stuck with me.
~
The BBT3 rolled along quite nicely without me. I haven't read any of the tournament summaries but I did see the disturbing fact that Waffles is probably going to win a $2k seat for the month of April and I'm dismayed. Do none of the players in these events have any dignity? It's Waffles for christsake! The worst poker player on the planet.
And who the heck is wormmsu? He/she only played two tournaments during April and won them both. Must be another Lucko ringer.
It will probably be another week before I'm ready to hop back into the games because just about every night this week will be spent finishing up the planning for the charity poker game this weekend. For that game, everyone who can make it to my tiny 'burg is welcome to join us. I already know that a certain bacon-bikini-clad temptress will be making the trek down from NYC to throw some cards and cook up some bacon. It will be my first chance to taste something for them Bacon of the Month Club.
Where: Tyler James Pub. 212 Bridge St, Phoenixville PA 19460
When: Sunday May 4th. Registration starts at 2pm, tournament around 3pm
Game: Deepstack NLHE with rebuy/addon
Buyin: $30 buyin / $30 rebuys / $30 addon
Prizes: email for details
Tournament: MATH
Where/when: Full Tilt Poker, Monday 22:00ET
Game: NLHE 6-Max
Buyin: $24+2 or Tier I token
Password: hammer
Tournament: Blogger Skills Series
Where/when: Full Tilt, Tuesday 21:30ET
Game: Rotation between non-NLHE games
Buyin: $12+1
Password: skillz
Tournament: The Mookie
Where/when: Full Tilt, Wednesday 22:00et
Game: Deepstack NLHE
Buyin: $10+1
Password: vegas1
Tournament: Riverchasers Online Tour
Where/when: Full Tilt, Thursday 21:00ET
Game: Bi-weely rotation of NLHE and non-HE games
Buyin: $10+1
Password: riverchasers
Be sure to check out Buddy Dank radio at the Borgata, a nice little adventure for the boys and I can't wait to see what great new things they're up to. Of course they will still be broadcasting live during the blogger games as well.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
